Resources » Sex
For Men & Women
With A Look At The Best Anal Sex Toys
some helpful tips that should provide you with the information
you need as well as products to aid you in achieving your anal
play goals with anal sex toy recommendations as well as anal
sex videos as well.
unprotected anal sex is a good way to contract the HIV/AIDS
virus. That is why it is important to discuss such health
issues with your partner before you partake in anal sex. Using
a condom is highly recommended for couples who do not know one
another's sexual history or are prone to Urinary Tract Infections.
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sex Expert
CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS
Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.
It's a good idea to have a bowel movement at least an hour
before anal sex (if possible). This decreases bacterial contamination
as well as messes that may not be desirable.
Cleaning Your Anus
Try to clean your anus thoroughly with hot, soapy water before
any anal activities. A great alternative are baby wipes, in
fact, a strippers technique, many people use them instead
of toilet paper for clean up after any bowel movement.
An enema is distilled, purified water that is put into the
rectal opening which is then held for a few minutes and the
released. It helps to aid in constipation and remove fecal
matter before anal sex. It is commonly used in the porn industry
prior to anal sex scenes. Please Note- enemas do NOT eliminate
ALL bacteria and germs from the anus ). They are easy
to do, very inexpensive ($1.50 U.S.), And found at your local
are of course some people who find anal enemas sexually stimulating
in addition to the mere cleansing aspect.
decide to do an enema, it is suggested that you wait an hour
before attempting to have anal sex for the enema to have had
time to thoroughly work. You should not have enemas too frequently
as this can cause stress to your anus which could cause health
issues if continued.
Monobasic Sodium Phosphate 19g,
Dibasic Sodium Phosphate 7g,
Sodium Content 4.4g
The entire anal region has a variety of bacteria inside and just
outside it. You will want to be careful to avoid getting that bacteria
into other orifices of your body to prevent infection. When you
choose to give someone a "Rim Job" or lick their anus
you may risk getting sick from bacteria present. You may want to
use a finger or toy with lubricant for a similar effect without
Oral Anal Sex
Also known as
'Analingus,' it is the act of licking or inserting the tongue into
the anus to provide pleasure. Both men and women enjoy analingus
and you can use some of the same techniques on each. Positioning
where the receiver's butt cheeks are naturally spread such as kneeling
on all fours (doggie style) with their legs spread apart, or on
their back with their legs up in the air (again, legs spread apart)
makes the anus easier to access.
sex after analingus is not something that should be done as it will
transfer harmful bacteria into the urethra (pee tube) of both a
male and female recipient. This can cause a very painful urinary
tract infection which will have to be treated with antibiotics.
One thing you can do before attempting oral sex analingus is to
thoroughly brush your teeth and tongue and use Listerine.
When It Hurts- Don't
Anal sex should
done in a manner that allows both partners to enjoy it. Start slowly,
use a lot of lubricant and do not use desensitizers with Benzocaine
like Anal Eze so that you do not feel
pain. It is important to listen to your body and using them is not
only ignoring the warning signals that your body is sending, but
there are health risks with the main ingredient in the desensitizers-
can contain numbing drugs that can include lidocaine, tetracaine,
benzocaine and prilocaine. The FDA said consumers should be cautious
about using them without medical supervision. Leaving the creams
on the skin for long periods of time or on large portions of their
bodies can increase the risk, officials have said. Small children
and people with heart or severe liver disease are also at higher
Important Information On Benzocaine
Found In Most Sexual Desensitizers
Overuse of skin-numbing creams can cause irregular heartbeats and
Creams and lotions often used in conjunction with cosmetic procedures.
Used in large amounts can cause a lethal dose of chemicals to enter
and lotions, available both by prescription and over the counter,
are approved to soothe burning or itching skin as well as pain and
to decrease sensation.
A Natural Anal Spray That Works-
is an anal spray that we highly recommend if you want to help
with tension and potential soreness. It uses natural ingredients
and creates a subtle decrease in any discomfort felt without
completely numbing the sphincter.
more about it or buy it-
Adventure Anal Spray for Women
Daring Anal Spray for Women
Using Condoms For Anal Sex
Due to the risk of STD's,
including HIV/AIDS, condoms
are an essential part of anal sex in casual relationships.
Again, it is good for couples because the bacteria from the
anus can get inside the urethra of the man's penis and cause
a UTI - Urinary Tract Infection.
condoms make sure to use water
based lubricants with latex condoms as an oil based
lube will break down and destroy the condom.
Love For Men
First Using Anal Sex Toys
first time users of anal sex toys, it is important to remember
that using any kind of flexible type toys may be hard to insert
as you may be tensing and inadvertently keeping your sphincter
muscle tight and closed, not allowing the toy to enter.
- Using flared based dildos or ones with handles is encouraged
as you do not want to accidentally lose your dildo up your
rectum and be unable to easily remove it.
may also want to avoid using a toy that is overly hard as
you need to get used to what this feels like and because of
inexperience you may cause damage.
using something like a Silicone
Dildo is a good toy to start with as it is soft, yet
firm enough for entry. It also has a great handle for easy
For Anal Sex
for anal sex, the first thing the receiver needs to do is
relax. Clenching the sphincter muscles due to being tense
will certainly cause pain.
bath or a sensual massage is a great way to relax. You can
also lightly play with the anal rim before slowly penetrating.
Make sure to use ample lubricant.
sure to discuss anal sex and be educated about it before starting
to prevent a painful experience as this can cause a long term
fear of the act unnecessarily. Discussing in advance a plan
if pain occurs, how to keep things relaxed and fun is a good
place to start before any physical activity begins.
rectal area is a sensitive area of the body and the deeper
you go, the more it is spread open the more you will feel.
Make sure to avoid any sharp objects and do not thrust rigid
items quickly into the rectum as you can cause serious damage.
Another thing to consider is allergies to certain ingredients
in lubricants, condoms (spermicide) and sex toys (like latex).
Researching the best sex toys for anal play is also a good
idea before you use one.
a great way to introduce someone to anal sex is to play with
the rim of their anal opening. You can start slowly on the
rim, stimulating the rich nerve endings there and then work
your way inside when they are ready. Making circular motions
is often a nice rhythmic way to do it and making sure you
use lubricant is essential.
finger and push on the anus without penetrating it, as though
you were ringing a doorbell. Hold each push down for a second
or two before releasing. You can vary the speed and pressure
to make more interesting.
when lubrication is essential. Start slowly inserting a little
bit at a time into the anus while moving in and out. Once
far enough in you can build speed and pressure.
beginner is comfortable, you can begin to add more intensity
if you desire. Adding fingers as well as pushing against the
walls while inside will add intensity. Some people even go
as far as anal fisting.
This is only for those that are well educated in fisting and
take precautions as it is a highly risky activity for infection,
permanent damage and trauma.
performing oral sex on a man it is often found to be highly erotic
to stimulate the perineum (the area between the base of the balls
and the anus).
your way down to the anus and begin circling the outer rim of
the anus. If all goes well, slowly insert your finger up to your
first knuckle. Keep a close eye on your partner to make sure he's
enjoying it. Proceed slowly.
on the man, you may only be able to get one knuckle deep before
he's uncomfortable, or you may find that he enjoys an entire finger
(or two - or three).
orgasm in a man, the perineum and the anus become highly charged
orgasmic centers of pleasure.
man is different, but if you locate his (sweet spot- prostate)
you can give him intense orgasms.
technique is to use anal beads and pull them out at the moment
physicians would massage their patients' prostates regularly to
cure or prevent disease. Now, however, most doctors only check the
prostate, and if they find a problem prefer to cut it out or prescribe
do it yourself or have your partner do it for you. Try this
practice and discover its health benefits. When you do it
yourself, you can be very gentle and make the treatment pleasurable
as well as efficacious.
is essentially the same thing as the gspot in a woman.
the prostate gland can be felt through the perineum (just
behind the scrotum a.k.a.- balls). It is a round bump and
is approximately the size of a marble. It can also be accessed
through the rectum (butt) and can be felt as a soft marble
that rests toward the front of the body. It is about a 2 -
2.5 inches inside the rectum.
can find the prostate by inserting a finger inside. Stimulation
this will often cause sexual arousal and ejaculatory fluid will
come out whether an orgasm is achieved or not. During the aroused
state, the fluid builds up in the prostate to the point where it
will come out. The muscular contractions will be that of a reflexive
can achieve prostate massage by simply inserting a lubricated finger
or anal sex toy (prostate massager) and pushing up against it and
rubbing it. Pressure against it will intensify the pleasurable sensation.
If at anytime it feels painful, you should not do it. If the pain
continues you should seek the advice of a physician.
Teacher Speaks About Prostate Massage
all start out as super tight-assed guys. But strong injunctions against
making a mess after toilet training takes hold start us out clamping
our back doors shut. Plus insensitive rectal exams and the modern
war against rectal and prostate cancer doesn't help our relaxing into
the pleasure produced by the huge density of nerve endings there.
the way, surveys prove that over half of heterosexual men experiment
with anal play. So if you're seriously considering it... it doesn't
mean you're gay. If you'll pardon the tasteless metaphor, prostate
play is an acquired taste. Most guys only enjoy it after repeated
practice. That was certainly true for me. At first, I was tight,
tense, and clamped rigidly shut. In fact, at times it was downright
Because it focuses
on pleasure as a divine imperative, Tantra was the perfect vehicle
for me to welcome male G-Spot Orgasm. Under my guidance, my beloved
learned to warm me up, lube me up, and enter me oh so gently. Even
so, she initially contacted hot spots, ultra sensitive areas that
needed to be healed with repeated exercise coupled with Tantric
energy breathing. Stage by stage I got to the point where I could
relax my sphincter almost at will.
Did you know
there are two ring-like muscles that guard your anus, one under
your control and one normally ruled by the involuntary nervous system?
Developing the ability to relax and open both at will was a big
step for me in welcoming G-Spot pleasure. Gradually I could feel
new and unique sensations from the strokes on my prostate gland.
Our Tantra training in the mid 1990s taught us to engage in penis
and G-Spot massage as part of a multiple orgasm program."
toys for prostate massage are becoming more popular. The Aneros
(not shown) received poor reviews from our customers and it
was considered overpriced and difficult to use. It typically
sells for $40.00- $50.00. We have a better alternatives shown
above and below.
have also received poor reviews about the The Eroscillator,
endorsed by Dr. Ruth shown to the left. At $100 - $160 we
figure it better rock your world. It's heavy and is cord operated
which limits you; the attachments are hard plastic and actually
painful according to some of our web site visitors.
recommend using a slim g-spot stimulator which is less expensive,
is just as effective and vibrates. What you need for fun on
the back end of anal love!
intensity is enhanced by massaging the penis at the same time!
Some men have passed out from the sheer pleasure so be prepared
for an amazing sexual experience!
stimulate the prostate with a finger, dildo or other anal
toy through the anus. If you are using your finger or anal
sex toys, you can perform fellatio (blow job) or a handjob
at the same time. If you or your partner do not like the anus
area being stimulated you can firmly massage the perineum
(a.k.a - 'taint')
enjoy it, some others don't. The amount that a man will enjoy
this depends on how he feels about it in general.
may find it unpleasant for a number of reasons, while others
will experience incredible orgasms. Relaxation and patience
is the key.
Love For Women
In a woman,
the nerve centers of the vagina and the anus share several
common walls and paths. When stimulated together, women can
experience enhanced pleasure and extremely intense orgasms.
Thus, double penetration (simultaneous insertion into the
anus and vagina) can be an amazing sexual experience for a
Women also enjoy exclusive anal stimulation, both around the
rim of the anus and through insertion and penetration.
Fingers & Penis
Using a sex
toy such as a g-spot stimulator, dildo or anal beads can
be exciting to a woman. While anal sex is not something all women
enjoy, women can have anal orgasms and even female
ejaculate while having one.
Many women enjoy
rimming, and penetration, so the use of the toys, finger and penis
for anal stimulation are all great ways to play.