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         Understanding Your Synastry With Your Lover

Before I learned about astrology I had the skills and vocabulary of a psychotherapist to try and understand my partner and myself within the confines of our relationship. Yet, with all the years of education and experience in the field of psychology I never quite found the rich and precise tools that astrology affords me now. When I first heard of astrology in my younger years I was very skeptical of it's ability to be accurate. However, I was judging it based on the pop culture "sun sign" approach which is extremely limited and not very useful.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

The more I studied astrology, particularly "evolutionary astrology," I realized that it is not only accurate, but an excellent tool in exploring one's self, relationships and even sex. Let me take a few minutes to share with you a glimpse of my own personal astrology information to make my point.

Both my husband John and I have Taurus sun signs which attributes to our practical approach to things as well as our sensuality in the things that we do. Ruled by Venus it emanates such qualities as a love of beauty and pleasure. Just as with all signs Taurus men and women have specific sexual tastes and knowing these has helped both myself and my husband better understand what we tend to enjoy in and out of the bedroom.

But it does not stop there. My Scorpio moon and his Cancer moon signs also have very strong sexual distinctions. Unraveling not only the basics of the signs but how they play out in our natal charts as well as our compatibility is very helpful when examining our unconscious attitudes and desires about our relationship and sex.

Personally, I grew up in a sexually conservative household that condemned much about women's sexuality. I also was sexually assaulted in high school (by an acquaintance of my boyfriend at the time) which made embracing my own sexuality difficult. I felt ashamed of my sexuality and for a very long time repressed that part of myself in many ways. This was difficult to do especially since my natal chart accurately shows me as a sexual powerhouse. Thus, my repression enflamed self hatred and an eating disorder developed.

It was not until my husband John came into my life and helped me work through a lot of my sexual inhibitions that I was able to experience what it is to feel completely intimate emotionally and sexually with someone. In addition, I was able to realize what I was to do in my career which is to focus on matters of health, particularly sexual health. Once I worked through some of my fears of being inadequate in addition to physical intimacy and being completely vulnerable within it, my idea for my first sexual health book "The Art Of Female Ejaculation" became crystal clear.

Looking at the combination of my signs within my natal chart as well as the synastry of those pertaining to my husband literally gives us a map of what most empowers, nurtures and easily seduces one another. Thus, when you look at my synastry with my husband's chart you can see why I felt safe enough with him to work through much of my lingering inhibitions regarding my sexuality.

Another example of our synastry interpreted through astrology is through our mutual signs of Gemini representing our planet Venus, which makes us both very playful, flirtatious with one another, and interested in information about sex and relationships. It also sums up why we both have a love for technology and why our business is mainly Internet based.

There are many concrete astrological examples that I could give you about our synastry that perfectly describe the way John and I relate to one another, ourselves and others the way that we do. But rather than make this article a mile long, let me just say that one of the best aspects of astrology is when we communicate using it.

For example, one way that I understand what John's needs are is to know that he has a Cancer moon. Having a Scorpio moon myself means I tend to be very direct and assertive. However, I respect that John needs a more gentle approach to communication. Thus, I recognize that being forward and direct with him, especially when there is stress, is not as effective as a gentle approach during these times.

As I mentioned before, both of us share the earthy sign of Taurus which is super cool in that we both love to do similar things... especially snuggle and watch movies. But it also means that there is a danger of being couch potatoes and we have to take care to encourage each other to go on hikes and other activities that will compensate for the strong element of earth that we both have.

I truly believe that evolutionary astrology is great in allowing one to more clearly see your partner and yourself while providing a better understanding of why we are the way we are and the paths we can ideally follow to create a better, healthier life.

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