Tell
Me What You Think
Adult
Sexual Education & Entertainment Under Attack
Selling
Sex Toys & Talking About Sex... Illegal?
When
I began this company, I did so with the intention of
promoting the enhancement of people's relationship with
themselves and others. From the thousands of loving
and thoughtful eMails we receive from significant others
and individuals all over the world expressing their
appreciation of our educational information and products
it is quite apparent that there are many people out
there that believe in what we are doing and want more
of it in our society.
I
believe that the majority of people, like myself, feel
that sexuality is a positive part of who we are and
believe that it is something that is empowering and
brings us not only pleasure but a stronger connection
to ourselves and our partner(s).
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
HolisticWisdom.com Founder
In
preparing this article I did some research on those opinions
that oppose my own regarding sexuality as I often try to look
at both sides of issues fairly. I found many opinions addressing
the complex issues of sexuality. Some were specific, some vague,
and some were more than ready to condemn many aspects of it.
Some
points I agreed with such as the need to eliminate adult companies
that promote destructive and harmful aspects of sexuality such
as child pornography and rape, while other points I disagreed
with such as the idea that masturbation, homosexuality, sex
toys and porn are wrong and should be repressed or against the
law.
While
I have always known that many people are intimated by sexual
topics as well as downright angry about them, I was shocked
at statements from ultra conservative groups that I found to
be absolutely uneducated and ridiculous. I would like to share
with you what I found so that you can draw your own conclusions
as well as hear what the other side of the spectrum has to say
about adult education and entertainment.
Just
so we are clear on what I am referring to when I discuss the
term "porn," I am referring to what Webster's dictionary
defines as porn-
Pornography
noun- Writings, pictures, films, etc., designed to stimulate
sexual excitement.
I
am not talking about child porn or other such deviant
and unhealthy forms of sexuality.
I
have taken actual comments from ultra conservative groups (shown
below) to show you what I personally and strongly disagree with-
~
Those who watch porn are more likely to be violent. ~ Those
who view adult content are more likely to be a pedophile and
abuse
children sexually. ~ Those who watch porn have bad
marriages and need to get help. ~ Those that look at any type of
sexual imagery are at a high risk for addiction to porn. ~ Pornography will always ruin
homes, relationships, careers and lives. ~ Escalation needs- Over time,
the porn addicted consumer requires more graphic,
deviant material in order to reach the desired
“high." ~ Women in the sex industry itself
are victims of pornography. The degradation
and humiliation is incredible. ~ Women are victims of pornography
no matter what form it takes. ~ Regarding porn on the Internet-
Gone are the furtive visits to seedy theaters and the
fear of being outed as some perverted purchaser
of porn. ~ Pornography contributes to antisocial
behavior and crime, especially sex crimes;
it contaminates public health, destroys marriages
and families, defiles religious communities,
hinders education and depletes educational resources, increases
abortions and taxes, weakens the economy.
In neighborhoods afflicted with sex businesses,
it destroys the value of houses and drives out legitimate businesses.
What
They Also Say-
There
were many points made throughout these types of sites and here
are just a few more that truly saddened me to see that some
people in today's society still think this way-
They
say that women who are sexually empowered by showing sexual
desire and confidence are whores, tramps and are only victims
to men's sexual urges. Reading between the lines this translates
to mean that women do not have their own sexual desires and
if they do they are disgusting.
They
say that masturbation, the way one can feel pleasure and embrace
the beauty of our sexuality is a weakness and should be repressed
so that we can be "free" of our desires by repressing
them. Reading between the lines this translates to mean that
anyone who acknowledges their desires (allowing oneself to be
the sexual being we were all born to be) are violating our very
moral fiber.
They
say that being aroused from viewing nudity and sexual behavior
is not only wrong because it should be hidden, but it only leads
to compulsive and addictive behavior. Reading between the lines
it also infers that we cannot handle seeing other human beings
in our natural state (nude) and that we cannot live a sexually
balanced life when we view erotic images.
They
say that sexuality is wrong and should only be used for procreation
as it is the best way to live a healthy life. Thus, inferring
that we should not take pleasure in our own bodies or use sex
toys and that we should condemn those who do.
They
say that premarital sex, pornography and homosexuality are wrong,
lumping them all together as harmful. They assume that premarital
sex cannot in any way be healthy; that pornography can never
educate, bring couples closer together or arouse one in a healthy
way. They pretend to have the authority of "God" in
letting the public know that homosexuality between consenting
adults is wrong and unnatural.
Who
Wrote That?
I
found these opinions and quotes on web sites such as VictimsOfPornography.org,
and CWFA.org
(Concerned Women For America). There are unfortunately many
more sites that would love to enforce such views of sexuality
on you and govern your bedroom activities.
You
would be surprised what laws you may find apply to you in your
own city, county and state. Possession as well as the sale of
a sex toys in some cities and states is illegal. Oral sex and
anal sex in various areas in the U.S. as well as other countries
is illegal. The fact that these laws are still in place whether
they were passed in the early 1900's or recently is appalling
to me.
The
thing that concerns me the most is that these laws are often
subjective and therefore what is considered obscene or inappropriate
is often vaguely outlined within the laws allowing them to be
enforced whenever someone chooses.
If
someone has it out for you they can make your life hell by simply
reporting you for something as ridiculous as giving your hubby
some oral pleasures! Your personal life becomes a circus and
while you may not have to serve any time or pay fines, the media
will enjoy the story and you will have fun paying off the legal
fees for a defense lawyer.
Think
this kind of thing does not happen? Think again. The following
story is true and happened recently-
Joanne's
Story-
Joanne
Webb
"What's
obscene is that the government is taking action about
what we do in our bedrooms.''
After
a CNN story broke about a Texas
woman being arrested for selling sex toys in December 2003,
I immediately began researching it further. After all, I was
not only personally curious as to the circumstances, but professionally
interested as I make every attempt to ensure that my corporation
is operating within the law. Needless to say, I was concerned
and wanted to know the details.
After
spending some time going to various Texas newspapers online
I learned that the woman's name was Joanne and that she was
not only arrested, but is facing $4,000 in legal fees and one
year jail time for selling adult sex toys.
You
may remember that the Supreme Court struck down the Texas sodomy
law in 2003, with Justice Anthony Kennedy writing that "The
petitioners are entitled to respect for their private lives.
The state cannot demean their existence or control their destiny
by making their private sexual conduct a crime." Unless, apparently,
those petitioners use sex toys.
Joanne
Webb, a former fifth-grade teacher, is a Burleson, TX, suburban
mother and part-time saleswoman for a company called Passion
Parties, Inc. She is also in the middle of one of the most ridiculous
criminal cases. Joanne provides adult novelties that are sold
at Tupperware-type house parties. These parties are educational
and great for people who feel more comfortable buying marital
aids in a private home than at an adult bookstore or on the
Internet.
Acting
on a tip last month, two undercover officers went to the office
of Joanne's husband, a homebuilder, where Joanne helps out with
clerical work. Joanne had placed a small sign in the window
advertising her parties. The undercover male and female officers
asked if they could look at a product catalog. Joanne of course
provided them one and the "couple" then placed an order for
two items. Joanne said she tried to talk them into hosting a
party to help other couples, but when they declined, she agreed
to sell them the items. She retrieved the items from her home
and the "couple" came back later to her husband's
office to pick them up. One month later, an officer called her
and said a warrant had been issued for her arrest on charges
that she had sold obscene devices, a violation of state law.
According
to the state's obscenity code, an obscene device is a simulated
sexual organ or item designed to stimulate the genitals. It
specifically refers to dildos, vibrators, and vaginal shaped
toys. In my opinion, whomever enacted this law is obviously
a repressed individual who has nothing better to do then to
enforce their own unhealthy sexual repression on others through
a legal enforcement.
Laws
such as these is why you will see many adult stores posting
signs that say "sold only as novelties" as we do on this site.
However, considering that we educate people how to use the toys
may very well make the point of doing this a moot one. Regardless,
I do everything I can to legally protect my sexual health oriented
business so that people all over the world may embrace their
sexuality and be educated about it in a healthy, ethical and
beautiful way.
After
reading Joanne's story I was so outraged at her plight that
I personally called her to provide her with my moral support
and provided she and her lawyer with a letter stating it. My
letter, along with many other supporters will go into the court
hearing to show that the majority of people feel that this law
prohibiting the sale of sex toys is wrong.
For
one thing, it is legal to own a sex toy in Texas, so the law
prohibiting the sale of one contradicts the right of a Texan
to purchase one in their home state!
BeAnn
Sisemore Joanne's Lawyer
"This
law is about how you represent what the product is for.
I can have the most obnoxious item in the world, and
as long as I call it a 'novelty,' I can sell it all
day long. If I educate you on how to use it, it's illegal."
While
Joanne has sold the devices at women-only parties. Under
Texas law, the sale was a Class A misdemeanor, according
to police. BeAnne said that fighting for Joanne's right
to sell the adult toys is the same as fighting for sexual
liberties.
In
addition, what was more troubling to me was the hidden story.
While I read many articles about Joanne's unjust situation I
kept wondering what the real reason was for these absurd charges
to be brought against her. To me it was obvious someone locally
had a personal issue with Joanne and used their influence to
make their attacks on her a legal one. So the nagging question
that kept running through my mind was who is the insecure bully
that wants to take out their issues with Joanne in such an unjust
and immature way.
Bill
Moore, the Johnson County attorney prosecuting the case, declined
to be interviewed, saying through his office manager that he
doesn't discuss pending cases with the media but I can tell
you that reports of his staff being outraged that he is going
through with the prosecution has been reported in several newspapers.
When
I spoke with Joanne I empathized with how hard this must be
for her and her family and I was terribly saddened to hear that
her arrest had caused Chris, her husband of 20 years, to suffer
a nervous breakdown from the stress of this absurd and legal
injustice.
Joanne
also said she was amazed that the town's narcotics squad would
be put on the case. "We have a real problem with drugs in our
schools,'' she said, "and they're using our narcotics officers
to entrap me for selling a vibrator.''
Joanne
said it had occurred to her that sex products might not go over
so well in a conservative county where even liquor sales are
banned. But Passion Parties are actually quite popular in the
Bible Belt states of Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi, with
sales second only to California. Therefore, Joanne reasoned
that many women in her community would benefit as well. Also,
with the economy doing so badly, her husband's construction
business has been slow and Joanne's family needed the extra
income. "I felt like I was teaching again," Joanne said regarding
the parties.
Joanne
knew that some people disapproved of her business, but she understood
that there is always gossip about such things. However, beyond
the sex toys, what the true trigger was for this insanity was
that she was wearing miniskirts. BeAnn Sisemore, Joanne's lawyer,
said that the pastors of two churches, uncomfortable with her
appearance, had asked her to move to other congregations.
Can I just pause and ask what is the deal with that? Is that
what Christianity is about? Conformity, judgment, repression,
control, and discrimination? I guess the pastors need to ask
themselves the favorite Christian question- What would Jesus
do? From what I have studied of the bible that is the exact
opposite!
Chris Webb, left, and his wife,
Joanne, leave the Johnson County Courthouse on Monday
after a judge granted a delay in her pretrial hearing.
"I'm
scared," Joanne said as she headed into court December
16, 2003 with TV and newspaper cameras crowding her.
"I've never been in trouble with the law before. I find
it hard to believe that wanting to help couples stay
together has caused me this trouble."
Joanne
said she was ready to stand up for her right to sell
the sex toys. "Our whole purpose in fighting for it
is to keep marriages together," she said. "I'm not looking
for what's easy. I'm looking for what's right."
At
a chamber meeting, a few women asked Joanne to stop selling
her products. Not long after that conversation, the Ambassadors
moved to adopt a dress code that prohibited miniskirts. Wait,
are we in the year 2004 now or 1904?
Joanne
indicated to me that she was going to continue what she felt
was the right thing despite the stress and financial burdens.
Her 13-year-old son tried to make her feel better by saying
he read about the Texas obscenity statute online at DumbLaws.com
and it sure is just that!
Because
Joanne had explained to the undercover officers how to use the
products, she crossed the line, Joanne's lawyer said. "This
law is about how you represent what the product is for. I can
have the most obnoxious item in the world, and as long as I
call it a 'novelty,' I can sell it all day long. If I educate
you on how to use it, it's illegal."
So
basically some hypocritical laws in Texas say that you can own
a sex toy and use it to stimulate yourself sexually, but you
cannot sell it and indicate what it is for. So that would mean
that anyone selling sex toys can show them to you, and sell
them to you as a "novelty" while giving you a "wink,
wink, nudge, nudge."
God
forbid we actually talk about what it is we are selling, and
teach people to embrace their sexuality... should we just keep
everyone in the dark so we can continue to dumb down our society
to the point of not even knowing that female ejaculation is
a normal sexual function and not urine? Oh, that's right, we
are already doing that!
If
I sometimes sound frustrated with such conservative attitudes
in this article, well, to be honest sometimes I am. The following
comment is what prompted me to call Joanne and offer my support-
Sgt. Havens of the Burleson police department sounded disgusted
when he said this of Joanne selling sex toys... Burleson leaders
knew about her business – it's her unapologetic efforts to discuss
sexuality with her female clients that ruffle feathers the most.
"She's not very bashful about it, she talks about it like we
talk about changing our oil."
So
from that statement I gather that the attitude of these Burelson
"leaders" is that we should use and sell sex toys,
but lie about what they are for and be very ashamed at mentioning
sex at all.
It
is time that people that think this way need to truly look at
what they are saying... they are asking people to lie
and feel shame about something that is natural, normal,
healthy and beautiful. It's just sex, not murder, not war, not
anything terrible... just sex.
We should be able to talk about it with the same uninhibited
honesty as we talk about changing our oil!
Joanne
Webb Update- Why She Was Really Arrested
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
Joanne
Webb Was On-
ABC Prime Time
Thursday, February 5th, 2004
With
so much response to the Joanne Webb story in our last newsletter
edition, I wanted to allow our readers to get the latest in
information regarding this groundbreaking case. The following
information is what Joanne's lawyer is doing to build a defense
for Joanne.
If
you watched Joanne talk about her story you can on ABC's Prime
Time show on 02-05-04 you would not have learned about why Joanne
was really arrested and what her Lawyer's latest strategy is.
Lying
in bed in the wee hours of night, BeAnn (Joanne's lawyer) said,
she had an epiphany. "My eyes popped open, I got out of bed
and drove to an all-night Wal-Mart. I went to the condom display
and started reading the packages." The language was similar
on many of them: "Designed for ultra stimulation ... contoured
for her pleasure."
"Wal-Mart
is violating the statute," BeAnn said. "So are the drugstores
and everyone else who sells condoms." Another provision of the
Texas statute says, "A person who possesses six or more obscene
devices ... is presumed to possess them with intent to promote
(sell) the same." Therefore, not only are Eckerd and Walgreens
selling "obscene devices," but anyone with more than six condoms
at home is subject to arrest!
"I
will fight this all the way up with Joanne," BeAnn said. The
local press, particularly the Fort Worth Weekly, has suggested
that the case has made Burleson "the butt of a national joke,"
however, Joanne and her husband aren't laughing. "She is at
risk of losing her civil liberties, losing her teaching certificate,
doing jail time," Chris Webb (Joanne's husband) said. She also
could be fined $1,500.
Joanne
Webb, a daughter of a Marine Corps Colonel, was a tireless civic
volunteer who won numerous accolades from organizations such
as the Chamber of Commerce, Read with Kids, the
Special Olympics and other worthwhile causes.
Joanne met her husband in the Baptist Student Union at the University
of Texas at San Antonio. She's a former elementary school teacher
and mother of three; and a Catholic who converted to the faith
her husband practiced and taught in Sunday school.
But
it was Texas law defining an obscene device that brought the
cops to Joanne's door: "A device, including dildo or artificial
vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation
of human genital organs. "It wasn't the fact that Joanne sold
dildos that got her into trouble. According to Texas law, it's
not illegal to buy dildos or to own them. It's not even illegal
to sell them, provided you lie about what they are used for
and refer to them as "novelties."
One
of our newsletter readers made this point regarding the lie
(that sex toys are novelties and not for sexual pleasure) which
the government insists retailers state about the sex toys they
are selling-
"How
might one market an artificial vagina other than as [primarily
for the stimulation of human genital organs]. Perhaps a top
ten list of possible uses for an artificial vagina is in order?"
Yes,
I too would be interested in seeing a top ten list... because
it truly makes a point that the law is simply ridiculous much
like Clinton's don't ask don't tell policy of
the U.S. military. Why is our government asking us to ignore
the huge elephant in the room and stay in a state of denial
about sexual realities, ultimately asking us to feel ashamed
about our healthy, sexual natures?
Isn't
that the message sent to us to this very day by our government
through many state and federal laws? Isn't that what the current
U.S. Bush administration is asking us to do by telling people
that we need to "protect people" from homosexual marriages?
Who the heck are we protecting and from what? What harm is there
in embracing our sexual natures whether we are heterosexual,
bisexual or homosexual?
Consenting
adults can do whatever they like in their bedrooms and love
lives in my opinion. We all deserve the common decency and respect
from outsiders (including our government and media) to stay
out of our love lives! I feel very strongly that consenting
adults who want to show their commitment to one another through
a marriage, regardless of their sex, should be allowed; just
as adults who want to use anything from a sex toy to a cucumber
to pleasure themselves or their consenting adult lover(s) should
be able to!
The
Truth About Why Joanne Was Arrested?
As
mentioned in our first article covering this case it's suspected
that Joanne's miniskirts and hairstyles have brought undo attention,
and there was an instance two years ago when the pastor of their
Baptist Church suggested that she should change her attire or
find another place to worship. Joanne's main critic has been
identified as Shanda Perkins, whose brother, Stuart Gillespie,
is a city councilman and promotes his religious beliefs on the
city's Web site. Their beliefs are a bit scary in the way they
get promoted. Here are examples from the Burelson, TX web site
that give you a taste of what I am referring to-
"WE
WILL identify the lack of specific character qualities
that are the root cause of our social problems, and, where appropriate,
promote new or revised public policy or law that motivates good
character, in addition to modeling, promoting and training for
good character."
I
just wonder who decides what the root cause for their social
problems are in Joanne.... mini skirts or vibrators?
Their
mother is Gloria Gillespie, pastor of the Steppingstone Family
Church and a force in getting the city's sexually oriented business
ordinance enacted.
Shandra
Perkins, after Joanne's arrest, persuaded the Chamber of Commerce
board to set a dress code for female Ambassadors: Skirts could
be no shorter than three inches above the knees.
Good
grief... Shandra and her mother Gloria sound like they could
use a good vibrator if you ask me! It is very apparent that
sexuality threatens them and while I think it is fine for them
to wear long skirts... who are these women to initiate actual
laws, rules, and ordinances against others from enjoying and
embracing sexuality as a natural part of who they are?
According
to Johnson County attorney Bill Moore, Joanne's case is going
forward. BeAnn is preparing motions to challenge the constitutionality
of the statute. She says she hopes the presiding state judge
"is brave enough to see the conflict between the constitution
and the law."
Chris
Webb told the Houston Chronicle that the Burleson police and
the county prosecutor were unprepared for his wife's resistance
to the charge. "There was a gross miscalculation of what the
response would be," he says. "They thought she would come in,
plead guilty, pay a fine and this would go away. They didn't
anticipate she would fight back and this would get national
attention."
Thank
you Joanne for standing up for our sexual rights and Chris for
standing by her side throughout!
Joanne
Webb Update- New Gag Order!2-1-04
Judge
issues temporary gag order in sex toys arrest case January 29,
2004
The
Judge in Joanne's case on Thursday, Jan. 29th 2004, imposed
a temporary gag order. The prosecuting attorney Bill Moore filed
a motion seeking to stop Joanne Webb, her family and attorney
from talking about the misdemeanor case that has generated publicity
nationwide since her November arrest.
Bill
Moore has repeatedly refused to comment on the case. Personally
I think he is out of his mind for having agreed to pursue this!
Johnson County Court Judge Robert Mayfield said he would rule
on whether to issue a permanent gag order at another hearing
in about 10 days.
I
am pretty confident that Bill Moore the prosecuting attorney
did this "gag order" because it must be really embarrassing
for them to be made to look so foolish internationally. The
majority consensus among people has been that this backward
law in Texas is unconstitutional and the true motivation behind
Joanne's arrest is due to the pettiness of some folk that thought
Joanne's skirts were too short so they were going to teach her
a lesson when she kept wearing them despite their warnings.
I
guess they did not bet that Joanne would stand up to their bully
tactics as well as speak for all women and their partners in
America as she fights for the rights of all citizens to be able
to own and sell sex toys and not lie about what they are used
for!
"We
should be able to open up the lines of communication, not shut
them down, to help women be educated about these issues; it's
once again infringing on my freedom," Joanne said, referring
to the gag order.
Her
attorney BeAnn Sisemore has filed a motion to dismiss the case.
Sisemore has said the state obscenity law violates someone's
right to own a sexual device, which is not illegal.
Joanne,
we know that the backward laws and law enforcers in Texas have
taken away your right to FREEDOM OF SPEECH, which is unconstitutional,
as well as your right to sell legal items such as sex toys.
But we can be your voice for the time being and let it be known
that we Americans will not stand for this injustice.
Burelson,
Texas... Americans as well as other Countries are watching you
and we will not allow you to victimize anymore Americans though
such unjust treatment! We are all sexual beings, and we are
proud of it.
Hang
in there Joanne... we support you and we will stand up with
you as you fight this noble fight!
Joanne
Webb Update- New Gag Order!2-15-04
Judge
issues another temporary gag order in
sex toys arrest case February 10th, 2004
Court
records show that the prosecutors in Joanne's case have agreed
to provide the defense the video reportedly showing Joanne selling
two vibrators to undercover narcotics officers.
The
Judge in Joanne's case also ruled that the parties in this case
must keep quiet about Joanne's "sting video" and cannot
speak of the details regarding the arrest and details leading
up to it.
The STOP Narcotics Task Force shot the video at the request
of the Burleson Police Department, according to the judge's
order. Burleson police then arrested Joanne after their "sting"
operation.
I
am with heavy heart over this whole injustice and it is with
great vulnerability that I share with you my thoughts and feelings
on it. In the beginning of bringing you Joanne's story I felt
a sense of responsibility to let others know about the unjust
law that threatens Joanne with one year in prison and a $4,000.00
fine.
Yet
as I have gotten to know Joanne and her husband Chris and the
unbelievable stress that they have been put under I have found
myself personally angry and very sad.
There
are really two issues here... one is that this law is simply
unconstitutional as the government needs to stay out of our
bedrooms and second, the reason this whole case came about was
not as much about Joanne violating this law as it was that she
was wearing miniskirts to church and because she refused to
stop, she was made a target for the sting operation regarding
her sale of sex toys to women at Tupperware style parties.
"Don't
judge men's wealth or godliness by their Sunday appearance."
Benjamin
Franklin
American Scientist, Publisher, Diplomat
I
have wept tears that ultra conservative members of our society
will ostracize a woman demanding that she feel ashamed of her
body because the damaging effects this has on women's self esteem
is something that I have spent years trying to help women overcome.
The
Telephone Game-
Remember
the game telephone where kids sit in
a circle and pass a message around ultimately
proving that if it goes through enough people the original message
is distorted?
Well,
I can report that I recently received an eMail from Joanne &
Chris's former pastor... the one who asked them to leave the
church for Joanne's miniskirts and I can tell you first hand
that is exactly what happened.
The
pastor who eMailed asked that I not publish his eMail and because
I am a person of integrity, I will respect his wishes. However,
I will comment on my own thoughts about his eMail as that is
my right.
It
truly seems like he is afraid to stand up and be heard about
what he believes is right based on his request not to have his
thoughts published. Yet he assured me that he stands by his
decision because he believes that the men in their congregation
are "too weak" to resist distraction from their worship
when a woman dresses to enhance her figure. That is his choice
of words... not mine, and honestly I was surprised that he would
say something like that. It really showed to me that he puts
very little faith in his congregation in being able to handle
an attractive woman wearing a mini skirt.
That
Is What Sexual Repression Does-
I believe that if you repress yourself from embracing the beauty
of our birth given sensual natures then you will be prone to
being overwhelmed and unable to focus on worship when an attractive
women wearing clothes that compliment her figure is present.
If you embrace sensuality as natural, beautiful then I believe
you would not have the problem of being so distracted because
it would not trigger your fears and insecurities.
Here
is what I wrote to Chris & Joanne's former pastor-
Please note that despite my references
to God below, our company is not affiliated with any religion
as we believe there are many paths to enlightenment.
I
believe that our bodies are beautiful and celebrating them in
whatever way we choose is a way that we can all honor God. I
believe that God wants us to accept ourselves. This includes
the beautiful bodies that he has provided us all with. To cover
them up is an issue that man has long struggled with and I believe
it is time we evolve and move past such shame based beliefs.
I
also believe in freedom of expression and admire those who respect
the true meaning of it not just when it is convenient. For a
woman to dress in a way that flatters her body is in my opinion
a beautiful way of honoring God for the gift of it. I believe
that God wants us to find balance to live harmoniously and going
to extremes by being overly liberal or conservative throws us
out of balance and makes dysfunctional coping more easily tempting.
"Law
and justice are not always the same. When they aren't,
destroying the law may be the first step toward changing
it."
Gloria Steinem
American Feminist Writer, Editor
I
believe the role of any teacher... minister, therapist, physician
is to share basic beliefs and suggestions and allow for those
they teach to determine if it is right for them. The role of
the church has never seemed to trust that letting go of power
and control over people may actually aid in the evolution of
man.
Many
major religions seem to err on the side of extremes and all
religions can find balance and God when they come from integrity
and empowerment; not control and fear. Many ministers I have
met seem to hold onto the thought that their congregation needs
guidance in justifying teaching discrimination, judgment, and
fear.
I
do not see that as empowerment rather, creating a relationship
where congregates are enabled to think that their soul's evolution
is not their responsibility to determine; that all they need
to do is what someone else tells them rather then think for
themselves. I know the politically based founders of the church
would have found control over the masses to their advantage,
but how much has that premise been based on power versus true
spiritual evolvement?
There
is much to be learned about the concept of free will and compassion.
How many times has Christianity and other religions taken a
wrong turn from justifying collecting money from people to save
their soul to killing people because apparently violence is
all right when you want someone's land or oil. We rationalize
a lot of things we know are wrong and that is why ultimately
I believe in empowering people to find the greatest source of
guidance we have through the voice of God in our heart.
A
hurtful act is the transference to others of the degradation
which we bear in ourselves.
Simone
Weil
French Philosopher
You
may disagree with some of my beliefs and that is all right with
me. What is not all right with me is the way that Joanne's apparel
was addressed or that there are people that will go out of their
way to attack her for educating and empowering women about sex.
I believe that is not what is right in my heart. I believe in
compassion and unconditional love and I believe those who have
ostracized and judged Joanne (not to mention taken legal action
against her) need to rethink those concepts.
I
don't expect to change your view points, but what I do expect
from others is to refrain from allowing their religious beliefs
to impact me or others legally in the U.S. It seems that Joanne's
legal issues were started because of religious beliefs and I
believe this contradicts the basis for which this country was
founded.
Just
as you would not want me to ensure that you have to buy or sell
sex toys, I do not want anyone dictating the opposite in a legal
forum. I believe it to violates the constitution of the United
States of America. For those who do not like that it omits religion
from legalities perhaps they should live in a country that allows
religion and law to merge using the same principles you indicate
are why Joanne and Chris should not be members of your church
(that it is your church and they should abide by your rules).
I
think the supreme court case renouncing Texas from enforcing
a sodomy law in your state recently is a clear message and a
value I hold dear in our country... the government needs to
stay out of our bedrooms.
I
hope for a world of discernment, accountability, and love. I
hope we can overcome our prejudices, judgments, fear and anger.
I hope this eMail finds you well.
From
Chris Webb
(Joanne's Husband)-
As
God's grace is sufficient for any circumstance I must believe
for myself and
my family that His grace will increase to match the challenges
ahead.
Though
I have thanked you for Joanne, I
now am thanking you for myself as a
husband and father ... I must chase fear
from my heart and my home and knowing
that there are many, many spiritual people
who not only not judge us but even love us
is a great encouragement to me.
Thank
you so very much,
Chris
Phone
Call From Joanne-
Joanne also called and thanked us for all of our support (not
only me- Lisa, but all of our readers) and that it has meant
much to her and her family.
Joanne
Webb Update- Gag Order Continues3-1-04
Judge
continues gag order in sex toys arrest case from January 29,
2004
Joanne
& Husband Chris are bankrupt after her loss of income and
employment
difficulties for her husband due to the economy.
Legal income is also important.
We
are continuing to accept donations for her legal needs.
Joanne
still awaits her court date under a gag order. She has been
under
tremendous stress and appreciates your support
via eMails.
As
far I've heard, Joanne's trial date is not set yet, but they
are anticipating a
summer trial. It may (hopefully) not even
come to that, since her lawyer is currently
challenging the constitutionality of the
law in the Federal courts.
The
Dallas Observer is planning a big expose the end of this month
or early April.
Playboy
is going to interview Joanne in a few weeks.
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
I
sent Joanne an eMail recently when she contacted me feeling
emotionally overwhelmed by this whole unjust case. I think often
times when we read a story in the newspaper or watch it on T.V.
we forget how unbelievably stressful it is for those who are
living the story.
Like
Joanne, I too have had emotionally exhausting days when it feels
overwhelming to educate people about sexual issues. I know it
probably sounds dramatic to say, but it really can be a stressful
career path as it requires a great deal of responsibility and
risk to do it.
Look
around and you will see many extreme conservatives who wish
to take away our sexual education, sexual enhancement products
and silence those who teach that sexuality is a beautiful part
of who we are. I write this because it is important that you
know we in the USA are at great risk for sexual repression by
the agenda of those who wish to shame and ostracize sexual educators
whom teach that sexuality is natural and something we should
embrace. Joanne's case is a modern day witch hunt, and instead
of burning her at the stake they are trying to put her in jail
away from her family, friends and career of sexual education.
Below
is my eMail to Joanne. In it I share my personal feelings and
thoughts in hopes of allowing you a more personal glimpse of
the emotional challenges and legal risks for those in the sexual
education field-
Please
note that our company is not associated with any religion as
we embrace all people regardless of religion, ethnicity or sexual
orientation.
Dear
Joanne,
I
am so sorry to hear how hard this is for you. I am going to
share with you my intellectual thoughts on all of this, but
before I do that... let me come from my heart. I am scared too.
I was scared to originally call you as I was worried that your
phone may be tapped because of the investigation and that they
would target me next (I can be subpoenaed to Texas too). I was
REALLY scared to write about this in my newsletter and bring
attention to my business about any of it.
Yet,
I looked into my heart and I felt the answer. If I could not
reach out to you and stand by you in this, then who am I to
expect anyone to do it for me if I were in your shoes... and
how easy it would be for me to be in your shoes doing what I
do. What kind of person would I be if I did not reach out to
you?
I
think often we rationalize inaction as not causing harm, yet
I think that can be equally harmful because everything we do
whether we are active or passive results in a consequence. I
could not in good conscience not reach out to you and
show my support despite my fears. I worry about how you are
holding up and I have actually cried thinking about all the
stress this has put on you and yours.
I
have faced many of my fears by publicly running my company as
well as showing my support of you. I often have a hard time
sleeping and stress a lot about it all. It takes me days to
do a newsletter because I want to make sure I do it with integrity.
Yet, sometimes I question myself and wonder what I have gotten
myself and my family into by going into the field at all. How
much safer it would have been to have stayed working for a psychiatric
hospital or in mainstream therapy in private practice.
While
my Mother and other family members support me, there are often
comments like "We don't want to know about what you do," or
"We don't want to talk about what you do." Kinda makes me feel
like I am wearing a scarlet letter as I wrote about in my last
newsletter.
Then
there are the companies that won't do business with my company.
God only knows what they think. Funny how I get so many eMails,
calls and personal comments of positive support and yet the
small amount of negative stuff impacts me so much. I know my
soul really wants me to face these issues of which I get so
overwhelmed sometimes. When things get stressful and believe
me they do, I think "What more can I handle?" With tears welling
in my eyes I hear my heart strongly reassure me... " A lot."
I
guess if there is one thing I could say to you is that while
I do not have answers... I do have so much empathy and compassion
for what you are doing. I am here for you day or night... don't
hesitate to call me if you just want to chat or even a friend
to just sit with and have a good cry. I could actually use that
too, because like it or not, this is really hard no matter how
right it is!
My
Thoughts On Those That Judge You-
I
see our spiritual evolution as a way that we face our fears
by openly dealing with them and accepting that we need to be
challenged in order to grow. When we reject that and run from
it or avoid it our soul finds more dramatic ways to present
the same issue to get our attention. I believe that ultimately
whether we like it or not, we will continue to be faced with
a repetitive issues until we face them.
I
always joke that our soul will teach us the lesson, it is just
a matter of how much of a fight we put up in this life or after
to get it! I see those who persecute as struggling greatly with
sexual issues, compassion and letting go of control. Think about
how brilliant it is that because you are following your souls
highest path that you are now their teacher. By modeling to
them what it means to come to terms with their fears.
Think
about the witch burnings... think they weren't burning women
who were doing the equivalent of selling sex toys in their own
time? They were! They were burning women to death for questioning
their authority, and who displayed their sensual natures, etc.
Personally, if Jesus did come down again, I think he would be
really pissed off that these so called Christians were doing
such horrible things in his name.
Your
story Joanne, is a modern day witch hunt and "They know not
what they do." I try to remember this when I have been shunned
in the past and occasionally still am because I truly believe
that it comes down to levels of spiritual evolvement.
When
you are spiritually evolved at a high level you understand that
it is the easy path to give your power away to a pastor and
believe everything they tell you. It is easy to believe things
based on fear (not faith). It is easy to believe the worst about
someone rather than the best. However, it is not easy to think
for yourself, and take responsibility for your own spiritual
awareness.
It
is not easy to listen to your heart and follow it despite the
majority telling you that what you are doing is wrong.
It
is hard to understand our life's plan sometimes because often
we feel so small and overwhelmed when we choose such a path.
I think about Alice Paul who was the leader in a woman's right
to vote and suffered greatly to ensure that women were legally
equal in their political voice. I look at Martin Luther King,
Jr., Gandhi and other great people who followed their heart
against even greater adversity and have changed the world for
the better. I think about Rosa Parks refusing to sit in the
back of the bus, her heart pounding, hands sweating knowing
that she was literally risking her life to make a stand.
Yet,
I am certain, like all of those before us and those who will
come after, there are always moments of wondering just what
the hell we are doing! I have wept with deep grief over the
loss of support and contact with my mother & father in-law,
sister in-law, father, and three friends because of my choice
to be a sexual educator. I can understand it in my head, but
my heart really struggles with it. I cannot imagine being so
judgmental and fear based in my life.
Honestly,
I have not met many people who have the courage to be vulnerable,
to come from love and to embrace that it is the highest calling
to follow our hearts even if that means that we question the
religious and political leaders of our time. Galileo had wished
to educate and teach that the our planetary system revolved
around the sun not the earth. The church forbid him from doing
so as they said it was against the bible. We look for black
and white answers in a multicolored world. To live like that
leaves us conflicted and often hypocritical.
Joanne,
what you are doing is right because it comes from your heart.
No matter how stressful this is just know that what you have
done has helped so many others, including myself to have courage.
I am glad that you and I can keep offering one another support
because I know I need it, and it sure sounds like you do too.
Love
& Light,
Lisa
Joanne
Webb Update- Gag Order Continues3-15-04
Gag
order continues.
We
are continuing to accept donations for her legal needs.
Joanne
still awaits her court date under a gag order. She has been
under
tremendous stress and appreciates your support
via eMails.
As
far I've heard, Joanne's trial date is not set yet, but they
are anticipating a
summer trial. It may (hopefully) not even
come to that, since her lawyer is currently
challenging the constitutionality of the
law in the Federal courts.
Minister's
3 Conditions To Return To Church
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
For
those of you following this story through our web site, you
know that the whole "sting operation" on Joanne was
started by Ministers of her church who were against her wearing
miniskirts. When she would not abide by their shaming demands
they went after her legally through her new part-time job of
selling sexual aids through women only Tupperware style parties.
Those
of you following this also know that one of her former ministers
(Dr. Charles Stewart) eMailed me as he had seen my article and
wanted to try and convince me that they did all of this out
of love. Two weeks ago Joanne's former minister wrote her telling
her that she could come back to their church on three conditions
that he eMailed her.
1)
Joanne must refrain from wearing miniskirts that may distract
him and other members of the congregation.
2)
Joanne must stop selling sexual toys and educating women about
sex.
3)
Joanne must admit that she was wrong for doing these things
in front of the
congregation and apologize.
Upon
fulfilling these three conditions her minister assured her that
he and the congregation would accept her back into their church
and all would be forgiven. Joanne politely declined and explained
to her former minister that she did not want to be a part of
their church any further and found his remarks to be condescending
and judgmental.
Joanne's
former minister also eMailed me and tried to explain that he
only wanted to teach Joanne the way of God. All I could read
in his eMails was "Hey, I don't like to be the "bad guy"
because the members of the church are probably embarrassed by
the negative press.
I still can't find that part in the Bible that talks about how
vibrators and short skirts are bad, really, really bad. Oh,
that's right... there isn't one! Not to mention that anyone
who takes the Bible literally needs a serious reality check.
Her former minister sounded like the Pastors back in the witch
burning days who is burning a woman at the stake and saying
"Gee, it's such a shame WE HAD TO BURN HER, I only wish she
had submitted to MY will and beliefs.
Projection-
Ultra
conservative views are often based on ridiculous assumptions
that businesses like ours are into child pornography, rape,
sexual abuse & incest, and are making tons of money doing
evil things.
First,
let me just say that we are horrified at such absurd, fictitious
accusations and find that many repressed conservatives project
their deepest, darkest fears onto people who are simply attempting
to promote love, communication, honesty, and integrity regarding
sexuality such as we do.
Yes,
I am aware that there are some "bad apples" out there
that go to extremes and are involved in terrible things such
as child porn, rape, incest, etc. But why is it that these conservatives
go to such black and white extremes? Why do they want to throw
out all the good of sexuality with some of the bad?
What
Our Company Stands For-
~
We
believe erotica and porn to be entertainment that is appropriate
for adults
if it follows the following criteria-
a)
It is between consenting adults (with no restrictions
on "race" number of people involved
or sexual orientation... our motto is "If it harm none
do
as you will.")
b)
It is created, distributed and packaged in a way that
follows not only
federal guidelines, but also with the
intent that only adults will view it.
c)
It provides safety to its actors or actresses regarding
VD and general
safety and encourages viewers to do
the same.
~
We
believe in treating ourselves, each other, and the universe
with care and respect. We respect opinions other than our
own and feel strongly that all people have the right to
determine how to have a sexual lifestyle that is right for
them.
~
We
believe social responsibility is our responsibility and
believe in the freedom of speech and the need for speaking
out against those things we feel inhibit our rights and
freedoms.
~
We
believe in embracing all people regardless of ethnicity,
religious beliefs, or sexual orientation. We believe the
world is a better place because we are diverse and bring
our own unique energy to the universe to create an eclectic,
beautiful whole.
~
We
believe in inspiring and educating people to integrate wellness
and beauty in their lives.
~
We
believe learning never ends and are always evolving to better
contribute to our customers and society as a whole.
~
We
believe that true leadership is delivered with passion and
by example and thus "walk our talk" and live our
personal and professional lives in an honest, compassionate
and honorable way.
Are
They Simply Scared?
It
occurred to me that ultra conservative right winged people may
simply be scared. They are the type of people that would have
told Rosa Parks to just
sit in the back of the bus and not cause trouble.
They
think it better to just to err on the side of being cautious,
never taking risks to seek out beauty and truth in life. They
bury their head in the sand and scream out condescending judgments
when others don't do the same. Reminds me of the character that
Kirsten Dunst plays (Betty Warren) in the movie Mona
Lisa Smile who makes everyone's lives miserable because
she herself is feeling scared and confused.
I
was running errands the other day when a song called "Where
is the love?' by the Black Eyed Peas came on the radio
and I could not help but sing along thinking of how it fit my
mood when thinking of the close minded and controlling attitudes
we have to contend with in our world. The song reminds me of
Marvin Gaye's "What's
Going On" and just the titles of the songs are
questions I asked myself throughout researching for this article.
Why
are these loud ultra conservatives getting away with legally
attacking companies like ours? Because we let them. Because
the majority of people that believe that sexuality is a beautiful
part of being a human being are remaining quiet. So what can
you do?
Write
Us!
I
want to change that and would like to request that those of
you who support what we do submit eMails or letters (with
your name or without) telling us your views on sexual health,
sexual education, pornography, sex toys and related issues and
we will post them on our web site to show support for sexuality,
sex education and products that support and honor it. There
is power in numbers and my goal is to let the entire world know
that the majority of people think sex is one of the best gifts
we get in this life time. Not just for the physical pleasure
it brings, but for the intimacy and connectedness we can feel
for ourselves and our partner(s) when we experience it.
My
hope is that our site will continue to offer individuals and
couples the opportunity to learn about sexuality in a way that
promotes respect, communication and a better understanding of
how to please one another and themselves. Your letters are powerful
as they let other people know that they are not alone, that
we can speak openly about sex and not be ashamed about something
that is one of the best attributes of who we are as human beings.
The
Joanne Webb Case Dropped Eight
Months Too Late!
An
obscenity charge has been dropped against Joanne Webb whom received
nationwide attention in the United States when she was arrested
for selling two sex toys to undercover police officers posing
as a couple. Just days ago, the judge dismissed the case against
Joanne. Johnson County Attorney Bill Moore said in a statement
in Cleburne, Texas that he asked the judge for the dismissal
to prevent wasting county resources. This also came after many
eMails, letters and calls to his office asking that the case
be dropped... many of them from our Holistic Wisdom Newsletter
Readers!!!
Thanks
to all that participated! It really goes to show that you can
make a difference!!!
Joanne
was arrested on November 13, 2003 about a month after the undercover
officers approached her at her husband’s business in Burleson,
about 10 miles south of Fort Worth, and bought two sex toys.
Had she been convicted of violating Texas’ obscenity law, she
could have been sentenced to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine.
According to the state’s obscenity code, an obscene device is
a simulated sexual organ or an item designed to stimulate the
genitals. Adult stores get around the law by posting signs that
say “sold only as novelties”.
The
Town Gossip After This-
As
mentioned in our first article covering this case it's suspected
that Joanne's miniskirts and hairstyles have brought undo attention,
and there was an instance two years ago when the pastor of their
Baptist Church suggested that she should change her attire or
find another place to worship. Joanne's main critic has been
identified as Shanda Perkins, whose brother, Stuart Gillespie,
is a city councilman and promotes his religious beliefs on the
city's Web site.
Instead
of showing regret or remorse for putting Joanne through this
Shanda Perkins is now reported to be telling people that Joanne
planned this whole thing to make her look bad. She has been
reported to say that Joanne knew that if she joined her business
to the Chamber she would have to do something about it. In addition,
Shanda Perkins has also been reported to say that a plan this
elaborate and well organized could only be led by the devil.
So naturally, Joanne must be possessed. It is our hope that
Shandra seek psychiatric assistance as soon as possible.
Letter
From Joanne-
Hi
Lisa,
Yes,
it's true, the charges were dropped! We have yet to receive
anything official, but our local paper confirmed that the County
Attorney's office issued a press release that said they were
going to drop the charges because they didn't want to "waste
county resources".
It
took them 8 months to figure that out??? I'm not sure all that
this means. Whether or not I can start doing parties in Burleson
again or not.
Though
my personal fight is ending, the fight to challenge the constitutionality
of this law is just beginning. I am going to join the civil
action suit against the law that my lawyer filed in Dallas last
February. This was one of the main reasons for the defense fund.
For the Constitutional law lawyers to help us. They can run
anywhere from $35,000-$50,000 each. We have raised $15,000 so
far. The need is still great.
No
woman should be made to feel that it's obscene to be educated
on how her body was created to work. We can have Bob Dole on
public television promoting the joys of Viagra, but when a woman
is invited into a private home to tell women how they can achieve
the same joys... I will fight this fight as long as it's necessary,
all the way to the Supreme Court!
Please
thank everyone for their support. My whole family has felt as
though a cloud has been lifted. We are all so thankful. I have
no doubt that the onslaught of eMails, letters and phone calls
helped to influence the County Attorney and the Judges decision.
Thank you so much Lisa!
I've
even been hearing recently from people that had never heard
of your site before how much you have supported my cause. People
like you are few and far between. I'm so glad you made the effort
to get involved.
Bless
you sweetie!
Joanne:)
Update-
2-14-08
NEW
ORLEANS, La. — A three-judge panel of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court
of Appeals in New Orleans has overturned a Texas law from the