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Married With Children
         Preserving Intimacy

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If you are a parent you know that it is quite a challenge to have a better sex life whether you are a single parent or with a significant other. Even time for masturbation can seem challenging. Throw a partner into the mix and you have a near impossibility!

Below you will find some tips on how to get in touch with the more sensual side of life while keeping healthy boundaries with your children.

It's easy to stop trying to seduce one another after the honeymoon period of a relationship, but after kids are born, partners can become so wrapped up in their parenting roles that they lose sight of all else. Yet, because regular sex keeps couples more light-hearted, more affectionate and less argumentative ensuring that you are "gettin' some" is important.

A lot of couples say they often feel too tired to have sex, but once they get going, they realize, "Hey, this feels great. We should do this more often!'" Children should be taught to respect their parents' need for private time without them. Not only does setting boundaries around this allow for private time, but it teaches a child that they are not the center of the universe and need to respect other's needs beyond their own. A good lesson if you ask me.

The following list is designed to help parents establish both sexual boundaries and privacy with their children:

1. A lock on the bedroom door. The earlier that kids learn to respect the privacy of
    the parental bedroom, the better, but it's never too late to get a locksmith out to
    the house.

2. A white-noise machine, loud humidifier, fan, radio or boom box that can be moved
    close to the door. You will be more relaxed.

3. An off switch on the bedroom phone. Use it.

4. Private space with a lock for storing anything you'd like your kids not to see like
    sex toys, lubricants, etc. (a file cabinet, tool box, or desk drawer works).
    See our Sneaky Sacks.

5. Have sexy sleeping wear. Remember the early days of courtship? You wouldn't
    have been caught dead in gray T-shirt, and it's time to bring sexy lingerie back to
    the bedroom. We're all more likely to feel sexy when we look sexy.

6. A reliable babysitter. Whether you want the sitter to take the kids to an afternoon
    movie while you play at home, or just connect over a candlelight dinner, having
    time that you can depend on to be together is important to recharging your sex
    life.

Good Bedtime Routines For Couples

1) Going to bed together creates the opportunity for physical contact, as well as
    emotional contact.

2) Kissing each other goodnight.

3) Set 30 minutes aside every night to talk without the kids around. If you have 30
    minutes a day of friendly conversation in which you're not talking about the bills
    and you're not talking about the kids' schedules, but just visiting with each other
    like a good friend your marriage will be healthier and so will your children.

A Smoochie Idea For Couples

One of the first physical activities to go on a sexual relationship with a partner is kissing. Oddly many couples will have sex but have not kissed one another more than a "peck" in years. So on that premise, I will review some kissing techniques below to perhaps remind you of how wonderful it can be and how to start making the passion in your relationship hotter.

Kissing Techniques

The key to good kissing is creativity and listening to your partners cues. Creativity speaks for itself. Creativity includes trying new ideas, and/or new combinations of movements, locations and moods. Listening refers to paying attention to your partner's verbal and nonverbal signals. Is your partner excited? Is your partner in an aroused mood?

Remember that a sensual kiss can often be very slow in it's motion. The slowness can actually raise the sexual tension by 'pacing' the sexual encounter.

Routines sometimes can act to diminish the excitement, because the other person already knows exactly what will come next. In that way, a 'first' with someone new is always exciting, because you simply have no idea about what to expect. Therefore, in an effort to help people 'break' old patterns a set of different types of kisses have been collected.

Some Different Types of Kissing

Suspenseful Kiss
The type that has a long buildup and both parties wonder when the other one will start to lean over… or if the other person is even interested.

Elongated Kiss
This one involves a bit of mouth movement (opening and closing). With the use of your tongue. Imagine sucking on your arm, while using your tongue to gently pull in the skin, and then push the skin back onto the arm. The movements are best when slow, steady and precise.

Slobbery Kiss
This is excellent for cunnilingus and fellatio. The saliva acts as lubrication. However, at all other times, unless specifically requested, avoid the slobbery kiss.

Wetting Lips Kiss
Run your tongue along the contours of their lips.

Sucking Kiss
Exactly that. Suck on their lips. Upper lip kiss. Only kiss the upper part of the lip.

Lower Lip Kiss
Only kiss the lower part of the lip. The nibbling kiss. Literally, nibble on their lips and nibble/kiss all over their cheeks and ears.

Tongue Sucker Kiss
Literally, suck on your partner's tongue as if it was a finger.

Teeth Cleaner Kiss
While kissing, run your tongue along the inside of their mouth. Explore the structure of your partner's teeth. Feel each tooth (within reason), one by one. By following each grove, note the texture (s) of the tooth.

Tongue Player Kiss
Use your tongue to play with their tongue. Mouth explorer kiss. Use your tongue to explore the rest of your partner's mouth. What does the inside of your partner's cheek feel like, the back of the lips? Does it feel dry, hard, of firm?

Public Kiss
Kiss your partner in public, kiss your partner in private.

Motion Kiss
Change kissing speeds. Begin super slow, and then let yourself speed up. The beginning part of the kiss should last at least 10 minutes, then after your partner can not stand it any longer speed up. Then, do not forget to slow your speed down. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Frequent subtle alterations, keeps the person guessing as to what will come next.

Loud Kiss
Kiss your partner while making loud kissing noises.

Silent Kiss
Kiss your partner without making any noise - best to practice when someone is around and you do not want to be heard.

Copycat Kiss
Kiss your partner the exact way that she/he kisses you. Follow your partner's lead.

Open Eyed Kiss
Maintain eye contact during kissing.

Closed Eye Kiss
Close your eyes and imagine how this kiss will lead to the best sexual encounter ever imaginable.

Lick Kiss
While kissing, use your tongue to lick her tongue, her teeth, and the roof of her mouth. Do not confuse this 'lick' with a sloppy wet kiss. This 'lick' is very precise. This technique is meant to be used to pull your partner's mouth slightly closer to yours and to feel what your partner feels like. Please note, your partner's mouth should be relatively dry afterwards.

Talking Kiss
The talking kiss refers to whispering sweet nothings to your partner as you kiss them on their lips. In between each kiss or two, while still invading their space, sharing thoughts with them about how much you like them, or how much they turn you on. (i.e. the dress you wore last night, your eyes, the way you handled the situation at dinner etc.).

Elevator Kiss
Sneak a kiss in to your partner when you are on the elevator and no one else is around.

Shared Candy Kiss
Sharing a candy or tasty morsel of food can be erotic and yummy!

Peck kiss
Just a fast kiss on the lips, where you literally peck your partner on the lips.