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Married with Children
Preserving Intimacy

If you are a parent you know that it is quite a challenge to have a fabulous sex life whether you are a single parent or with a significant other. Even time for masturbation can seem challenging. Throw a partner into the mix and you have a near impossibility. Below you will find some tips on how to get in touch with the more sensual side of life while keeping healthy boundaries with your children.

It's easy to stop trying to seduce one another after the honeymoon period of a relationship, but after kids are born, partners can become so wrapped up in their parenting roles that they lose sight of all else. Yet, because regular sex keeps couples more lighthearted, more affectionate and less argumentative ensuring that you are 'gettin' some' is important.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright Holistic Wisdom, Inc.


A lot of couples say they often feel too tired to have sex, but once they get going, they realize, "Hey, this feels great. We should do this more often.'" Children should be taught to respect their parents' need for private time without them. Not only does setting boundaries around this allow for private time, but it teaches a child that they are not the center of the universe and need to respect other's needs beyond their own. A good lesson if you ask me.

Establishing Boundaries & Privacy with Your Children:

  • Have a lock on your bedroom door and don't be afraid to use it. Doing so let's your children know that this is your space and they need to respect it.

  • Use noise in your room to create an audio barrier. Using a fan, humidifier, white noise machine, music or television to create this can help you feel more relaxed and not as worried about what the kids may hear. If you use sex toys then using vibrators that have a low volume that still have high power capabilities is always a good idea. That is one of the reasons that our vibrators are sound rated so that you will know what to expect before you purchase one.

  • Turn off your phones and other electronic devices for communication when you want to spend time together. Making one another a priority is important even if it is just for a short period.

  • Designate a private storage space that is just for you and/or your lover. See our Sex Toy Storage ideas as well as our clever Sneaky Sacks.

  • Don't forget to add a little spice in what you wear to bed. How good do you feel when you put on a new outfit to go out? It provides a psychological lift and this is true for what you wear in bed together. For your nighttime dates have fun and bring 'sexy back'.

  • Get a good baby-sitter so that you can leave the house even if it is for a short while. Beyond the standard date night of dinner and a movie are things that allow you to really connect such as having a picnic together or taking a walk can allow you to relax and connect away from the stress of daily living.

Bedtime Routines for Couples

  • Going to bed at the same time can allow you to feel a sense of connection and allow for time that you might not give one another otherwise. It allows you to enjoy laughing, touching and connection which is where desire begins.

  • Get into the habit of hugging and kissing one another goodnight. There is nothing more romantic and sweet as a couple that always ends their day this way.

  • Give yourself time every night to talk without your children. Even if it is just 15-30 minutes where you tell one another about your day, things that you felt or thought and even experienced so that you stay emotionally connected.

Treating one another like a good friend is the way that successful couples go the distance and when you put your mind to it you can always find time for a good friend who of course is also your lover.

 


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