This question was written to Lisa S. Lawless (Founder of Holistic Wisdom, Inc.)

Hi Lisa,

I feel quiet embarrassed about this, but I find you, and your news letters very informative. Eighteen days ago my wife had our first child. We have a full sex life, have been married for 2 years and were having sex for an average of twice daily in past years (morning & night, if I came home early from work). We even had a 2 hour session the night our daughter was born (before her labor started).

What brings me to write this, is that I've being feeling really tight and sore around my balls, so I thought I would go into the shower and release myself... and nothing happened (I didn't ejaculate). I had an orgasm and nothing but a few drops came out. I kept continuing until my 3rd orgasm and that is when the ejaculate came out in a small thick stream.

I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. I know for a fact when we used to make love to my wife, I would usually cum a lot... in fact my wife would joke with me about it so this is certainly a new development.

I've been reading on the net, doing some research on my prostate, is there something over the counter I can take to release me more easily... please help...

- Anonymous

Thank you for your inquiry. Congratulations on becoming a father! As a Mommy myself, I know the wonderment it brings as well as the fatigue, so make sure to take care of yourselves and note that fatigue and stress affects sexual functioning in men and women.

As far as your question, let me first preface this by saying that you really should consider seeing your physician just to be sure that it is not a medical condition that is affecting you.

With such issues as diabetes, prostate disease, certain neurological impairments, or spinal cord injuries (all which may affect ejaculation) you can never be too careful in making sure that you are in good shape medically.

While what I am about to write may not pertain to you, I will mention it in case it does... a dry orgasm is common after surgery for prostate cancer. While you will still feel the same sensations of build-up before orgasm, you will not ejaculate semen when you climax. This is known as a dry orgasm. The lack of semen should not affect the quality of your orgasms but they may feel different because they're dry. The semen may go backward into the bladder instead of forward. This is called retrograde ejaculation and is not dangerous or harmful.

Hopefully I have not scared you by listing possible medical conditions and most likely it is nothing medically serious, but it is always best to be careful about these things.

If that does not work you may also want to try the following-

1) Abstain from sex for a few days. Unless it is due to a medical condition such
     as diabetes, the volume of ejaculate can be increased in this way.

2) Try to delay ejaculation for as long as possible. Much of the fluid is produced during
     the state of arousal before ejaculation (just like in female ejaculation).

3) If you think that a drug you are taking is responsible, ask your doctor if an alternative
    drug is available. Some men taking Finasteride (for prostate problems or baldness-
    in such products as Propecia) notice a decrease in volume of ejaculate.

Tantric Dry Orgasms
Something just to make note of in regard to Tantric "dry" orgasms.

Many men study Tantra so that they may learn to have multiple orgasms. Males that experience these using Tantric types of techniques refer to them as "dry orgasms." To experience a Tantric Orgasm, you focus built-up sexual energy away from your genitals and recirculate arousal without cumming.

By doing Tantric techniques you can still feel smooth muscle contractions around your pelvic floor. Reportedly, they feel like strong orgasms that are held inside the body remaining powerful while not expelling ejaculate. After a dry orgasm, arousal typically decreases enough so that during intercourse you can enjoy more vigorous stroking without ejaculating. Tantric lovemaking rises slowly as it savors pleasure, reaches a peak, and then repeats over and over.

For more information about this take a look at our eBook-

Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery

I mention Tantric dry orgasms as more of a reference as it sounds like you are unhappy with your difficulty ejaculating thus, you may want to try prostate massage... as an idea for you to help get your ejaculate out. Here is a link to an article that I wrote on the subject.

Remember to get that medical checkup to rule out possible medical causes and then you can further explore some of my suggestions. I hope this information helps you and that you get back to where you want to be in the near future!

Best,

Lisa

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