To Those That Disagree
         A Letter To Those That Oppose What We Stand For

To Those Who Find Sexual Education & Products Wrong or Offensive...

Speaking for many of those in the sexual health field, I wanted to convey a message to those out there that come from a place of disdain, hatred and anger toward people like us that teach sexual education and offer sexually oriented products. Unlike you, most of us do not come from a place of anger as much as we do compassion.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO

We have compassion for how hard it is to embrace the sexual part of ourselves that is within every human being. We understand that it takes courage to be open about sexuality in a world where loud ultra conservatives mistake repression for being the healthy way to live. We understand the sacrifices that sometimes have to be made when you are vocal about how wonderful sex is and what a beautiful pleasure it is to experience such intimacy with another human being or even ourselves.

We in the filed of sexual health have taken those risks. The risk of being disowned by family and friends, the risk of financial ruin from ridiculous law suits and legal battles as well as potential loss of our very freedom through jail time. We understand it because we live with the fear every day that someone may just decide that they will take advantage of the fact that the laws regarding sexuality and adult products and content are impossible to completely protect ourselves from and we are left vulnerable to such absurd attacks such as the Joanne Webb case.

Yet you may wonder why we continue to choose such a career, why do we take all of these enormous risks? We do so because we believe that sexuality is perfectly normal, healthy, wonderful and should be embraced as something that is one of the best parts of being a human being. We believe in love, respect, and open communication. We believe that it is better to stand up for the truth.

The truth being that no matter how much you condemn sex you too have a sexual nature. The truth is that just like we all do, you have sexual desires, sexual feelings and are simply a sexual being. Perhaps somewhere along your journey in life someone tried to convince you that part of you is wrong or dirty and you should repress it and be ashamed... but that is the lie. Our bodies are beautiful, the ability to feel pleasure through the very nerve endings in our skin is a wonderful gift. Of all the hardships we face as humans why is it necessary to condemn the gifts we have been given?

Those of us in the sexual health field often realize that sexuality intimidates people because it can be so powerful and sometimes trigger insecurities that we have inside us. Yet we understand that is the opportunity for us to work through those insecurities by addressing them within ourselves not project them onto others by hating or attacking the person that triggered those insecurities.

How often have you seen a group of men or women see an attractive acquaintance walk by and you can hear whispers of disdain and ugly comments to but that person down. "Well, I heard she sleeps around, " or "He's an ass." Why do we demean people when we are threatened? I'll tell you why... because that is the bully's greatest coping skill... attack when we feel insecure or are afraid.

If you attack someone who sells sex toys because you have never used one in your life and fear that you do not sexually satisfy your partner, if you attack someone who poses nude because you feel insecure about your body or think your partner might find them more attractive then you, if you attack away and hide the truth from yourself that deep down inside you are like the rest of us... a sexual human being with desires and insecurities then you are the one that ultimately pays the highest price. The price of not being able to honor yourself for who you are as a WHOLE person... for ALL that you are.

We open our hearts and minds and hope that you too will come to a place where you at least let us make our own decisions about what we do in our bedrooms, because we are fine with letting you decide what is right for you in yours. Peace.