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A Swinger Lifestyle
How It Works

Swinging, also commonly referred to as, “The Lifestyle” or as the, “Swinging Lifestyle”, is a type of sexual practice that usually refers to couples having consensual acknowledged sex with other couples or an individual, usually a woman. 

Swinging can be very recreational and incorporate many different couples and/or singles, or a swinging couple can make a commitment to one specific other couple or individual to swing with and get to know, socially and emotionally as well as sexually.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sex Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.


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Traditionally, swinging refers to heterosexual couples or straight men and bi-curious women, however, swinging is becoming more and more diverse.  There are now swinging SMBDers and fetish dressing swingers, as well as gay and lesbian swingers.  Different swing clubs will accept different practices, such as, some are open to singles of both genders and BI-curious individuals of both genders while some are still only open to single women and BI-curious women but not single or BI-curious men.  Most swing clubs are very open to people of varying size and shape, which provides acceptance to many individuals who may feel discriminated against or put down elsewhere.

Swinging began in the 1950’s.  At that time the only way to meet other swingers was through personal ads.  Now individuals and couples interested in the swinging lifestyle can go to clubs specializing in this type of sexual expression.  There is even a national organization that has been developed to promote correct swinging education and information called the North American Swing Club Association (NASCA). 

There are many benefits to being a swinger.  It provides many members to explore their sexuality and sensuality in new ways that they find are not easily accepted in the more “vanilla” traditional communities.  It is a good way for BI-curious women to explore their potential bisexuality without becoming involved in the lesbian community where they may not feel comfortable or be welcome. 

Swinging allows both women and men the opportunity to reject monogamy without being cast as sluts, whores, or gigolos.  Individuals can also learn a lot more about their sexual interests when not confined restrictively.  Once they let go of the taboo of polyamory, swingers can often allow themselves to relax and find out what they really like sexually and not just what society expects them to like.  This type of freedom is rare.

Swinging can enhance a relationship and the commitment involved in the couple’s relationship.  By requiring honesty and communication it emphasizes some of the most important qualities of a healthy relationship.  Swinging requires a strong level of trust and security.  For some people watching their partner be sexual with others and obviously aroused is very hot and arousing in and of itself.  Many people make new friends through the lifestyle.  It is a close nit community based on strongly shared beliefs and practices. 

Beware that while it may seem like a good idea... a lot of times the fantasy makes for a very emotionally upsetting reality. Bottom line is that swinging is not for everyone. You may have a perfectly healthy, monogamous relationship and simply enjoy keeping it just the two of you like my husband and I do.

You may ask why I would write an article in support of swingers even though I am not one, however, I thought that the perfect reason... why not listen to the research and objectivity of someone who does not live the lifestyle, but can still see the beauty of it for those who do? We have heard through our web site visitors and our research, that there are couples that have opened their relationship up to a "swinging" lifestyle and have maintained and even enhanced their relationship successfully. In honor of them we have provided you with this article and perhaps some food for thought.

This is not accomplished by many couples, but it can be done. Swinging is definitely not for those who are in a relationship that is unhealthy or unstable as swinging is likely to tear the couple apart even more.  If there is a lack of trust in the relationship, a feeling of insecurity, jealousy, or a lack of honest communication, then swinging is is definitely not appropriate. 

It is not ok for a swinger to cheat on their partner just like it is not OK for an individual involved in a monogamous relationship to cheat.  Therefore it is only OK to have illicit affairs as a swinger if all parties agree that the relationship is completely open and that honest and frequent communication is not required in the relationship; this is exceedingly rare in the lifestyle.  Traditionally swinging is not about dishonesty, lying, or closed communication. 

Swinging is not ever meant to promote unsafe, indiscriminate sex.  Most swingers are looking for quality sexual and/or sensual experiences and not just frequent sexual encounters with anonymous partners. 

 

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