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A
Swinger
Lifestyle
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O., Holistic Wisdom Founder
Swinging,
also commonly referred to as, “The Lifestyle” or as the, “Swinging
Lifestyle”, is a type of sexual practice that usually refers
to couples having consensual acknowledged sex with other couples
or an individual, usually a woman.
Swinging
can be very recreational and incorporate many different couples
and/or singles, or a swinging couple can make a commitment
to one specific other couple or individual to swing with and
get to know, socially and emotionally as well as sexually.
Traditionally,
swinging refers to heterosexual couples or straight men and
bi-curious women, however, swinging is becoming more and more
diverse. There are now swinging SMBDers and fetish dressing
swingers, as well as gay and lesbian swingers. Different
swing clubs will accept different practices, such as, some
are open to singles of both genders and bi-curious individuals
of both genders while some are still only open to single women
and bi-curious women but not single or BI-curious men.
Most swing clubs are very open to people of varying size and
shape, which provides acceptance to many individuals who may
feel discriminated against or put down elsewhere.
Swinging
began in the 1950’s. At that time the only way to meet
other swingers was through personal ads. Now individuals
and couples interested in the swinging lifestyle can go to clubs
specializing in this type of sexual expression. There
is even a national organization that has been developed to promote
correct swinging education and information called the North
American Swing Club Association (NASCA).
There
are many benefits to being a swinger. It provides many
members to explore their sexuality and sensuality in new ways
that they find are not easily accepted in the more “vanilla”
traditional communities. It is a good way for BI-curious
women to explore their potential bisexuality without becoming
involved in the lesbian community where they may not feel comfortable
or be welcome.
Swinging
allows both women and men the opportunity to reject monogamy
without being cast as sluts, whores, or gigolos. Individuals
can also learn a lot more about their sexual interests when
not confined restrictively. Once they let go of the taboo
of polyamory, swingers can often allow themselves to relax and
find out what they really like sexually and not just what society
expects them to like. This type of freedom is rare.
Swinging
can enhance a relationship and the commitment involved in the
couple’s relationship. By requiring honesty and communication
it emphasizes some of the most important qualities of a healthy
relationship. Swinging requires a strong
level of trust and security. For some people watching
their partner be sexual with others and obviously aroused is
very hot and arousing in and of itself. Many people make
new friends through the lifestyle. It is a close nit community
based on strongly shared beliefs and practices.
Beware
that while it may seem like a good idea... a lot of times the
fantasy makes for a very emotionally upsetting reality. Bottom
line is that swinging is not for everyone. You may have a perfectly
healthy monogamous relationship and simply enjoy keeping it
just the two of you like my hubby John and I do.
You
may ask yourself why write an article in support of swingers
if we ourselves are not. Personally, I thought that the perfect
reason... why not listen to the research and objectivity of
someone who does not live the lifestyle, but can still see the
beauty of it for those who do! We
have heard through our web site visitors and our research, that
there are couples that have opened their relationship up to
a "swinging" lifestyle and have maintained and even
enhanced their relationship successfully. In honor of them we
have provided you with this article and perhaps some food for
thought.
This
is not accomplished by many couples, but it can be done. Swinging
is definitely not for those who are in a relationship that is
unhealthy or unstable as swinging is likely to tear the couple
apart even more. If there is a lack of trust in the relationship,
a feeling of insecurity, jealousy, or a lack of honest communication,
then swinging is is definitely not appropriate.
It
is not ok for a swinger to cheat on their partner just like
it is not OK for an individual involved in a monogamous relationship
to cheat. Therefore it is only OK to have illicit affairs
as a swinger if all parties agree that the relationship is completely
open and that honest and frequent communication is not required
in the relationship; this is exceedingly rare in the lifestyle.
Traditionally swinging is not about dishonesty, lying, or closed
communication.
Swinging
is not ever meant to promote unsafe, indiscriminate sex.
Most swingers are looking for quality sexual and/or sensual experiences
and not just frequent sexual encounters with anonymous partners.
Love
& Relationships
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