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Bringing Up Sex          With Your Doctor Let's face it, looking at sex information on the Internet anonymously is a lot easier than talking with your doctor about your sexual problems... for many this can cause major anxiety!

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

However, in order to get the best care you must be able to communicate your needs. The following tips in this article can help you when bringing up sexual problems with your doctor so that you can be empowered and healthy.

Remember that a doctor is human, too and they may have anxieties about discussing sexuality with patients because of their need to maintain appropriate boundaries with their patients or even because they have sexual issues themselves!

Just make sure not to take it personally or as a judgment on you if your doctor becomes uncomfortable. When I was beginning my research for my book "The Art Of Female Ejaculation," I point blank asked my OBGYN about it and she about fell over while turning a bright red color. Being a bit more daring than most about these types of topics I had to smile knowing how many other doctors must have the same embarrassed reaction. Her reply... she (as most OBGYNs) did not know about female ejaculation and of course that is just one of many reasons I took it upon myself to write my book!

Medical school courses on sexual anatomy and human sexuality are relatively recent and not addressed in all medical schools. Don't take no for an answer, even if you have to ask your doctor for a referral to someone who can answer your questions!

Some doctors may minimize your problem or dismiss it, but that's usually because they don't know how to help. They may be uneducated about it and jump to conclusions that it may be psychological (and it may be... so don't rule that out), or they are not aware of potential treatment. Stay empowered... educate yourself. Arm yourself with information found on this web site. Information you take to your doctor will be extremely helpful to him or her as well as to you.

Most doctors will be open and receptive to your comments and will be happy to learn of any new information, particularly if it is based on science and research. If your doctor avoids addressing your sexual problems, acknowledge that the subject is embarrassing for both of you, but make it clear that your sexuality is a basic part of you.

A good way to start the conversation is on a positive note: "I was hoping that you might be able to help me with a concern (or question) I have." Many find it helps to bring an article (or our book!) with them, starting the conversation with "I was reading this and wondered what you thought."

Be persistent. If you don't get the response you want, don't feel badly about finding another physician. Look in your local yellow pages or check with your local hospital or health center for referrals to physicians. Even if they don't treat sexual function complaints themselves, they usually have a network or physicians who are sympathetic to such issues.

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