FAQ's About Asexuality~
        Information Provided By
    AVEN- Asexual Visability & Education Network

Is asexuality the same as celibacy?

No. Celibate people choose to abstain from sexual relationships, while asexual people simply don't feel compelled to form them.

 Can asexual people fall in love?

Nonsexual relationships can be just as close and intimate as sexual ones. Sexuality is one way to express emotion in a close relationship, but it is by no means THE way. Anything that can be done through sexuality (emotional expression, fun, physical closeness, etc) can be done nonsexually. That being said, nonsexual relationships don't necessarily "look" like sexual ones. There are social norms for sexaul relationships that asexual people dont' necessarily worry about. So some asexual people date, some just form close friends. Most do whatever suites them best.

How do you know that nonsexual relationships are just as close as sexual ones? Have you ever been in a sexual relationship?

No I haven't, but I've talked to enough people who have (including other asexual people.) The idea that sexual relationships are no different than nonsexual ones is difficult to accept, because we are taught that sex is an extremely important thing. In fact, sex usually functions as a vehicle for other stuff. People use sex to express emotion, to boost their ego, to have fun, for any number of things. It is those things which are important, not the sex itself, and all of those things can be done nonsexually.

Are there a lot of asexual people out there?

While there are many people who don't experience much in the way of sexual attraction there are only a few who describe themselves with the term "asexual." The term and the ideas behind it are quickly catching on and helping people better understand where they fit into a sexual world. Does that answer your question?

No.

Ok, ok. Not many people identify as asexual because they are not presented with it as an option. As the option is put forward an increasing number of people find that it fits them better than pre-existing ideas of sexuality.

Do asexual people have a sex drive?

Some asexual people report having a sex drive, some don't. (For a more in-depth analysis, take a look at some theory.) Think of sexuality as a stereo. Everyone has a volume knob and a tuning knob. Some people just listen to music in the background, some get up and dance along, some blast their music so loud it's obnoxious. Then there are some who have their volume knob turned down so low that they can't really hear the music, so they don't pay attention to it. There are also people who have their volume knob at an audible level, but who's radio is tuned to static. Since static isn't particularly interesting they don't pay it much attention either. 

Are you sexually repressed?

I acknowledge the possibility that some repressed traumatic experience may be preventing from feeling sexual attraction, or that I am repressing attraction for the same sex because of internalized homophobia. I have no indication that either is the case, and until I am given such an indication I will not dwell on such possibilities.

Is it possible that you just haven't found the right person yet?

I acknowledge the possibility that I could find someone who I am sexually attracted to and form a romantic relationship with them, however I'm not really investing any energy in looking. I can "just find the right person" the way a lesbian could "just find the right man", it's possible in the grand scheme of things but not really relevant to the issue.

Why is there so little information about asexuality out there?

    There are several reasons why asexuality has been largely ignored by the queer rights movement. Our society still assumes that people are straight until proven otherwise. If someone is a lesbian then they are presented with something that catches their attention, the fact that they are attracted to women. It is fairly difficult for them to ignore the fact that they are not the assumed (straight) norm. The process of realizing that you are NOT attracted to someone is much subtler. After all, society tells us who to be attracted to and how to be attracted to them, so it is fairly easy for asexual people to simply go with the flow and behave like they are straight. These people will, of course, have massive issues around sexuality, but that in no way separates them from sexual people. 

    It was not until people grew up with the idea that it was possible to not be straight that they began to make the leap to identifying as asexual. In the past few years there have been increasing murmurs of people identifying as asexual. These self-identifying asexuals still probably represent only a small percentage of the total asexual population.

    Unlike gay, lesbian and bisexual people asexual people are not compelled by sexual attraction to seek each other out, which has made it more difficult for us to build a community. Asexual people also are affected only minimally by heterosexism, so there is less of a drive for us to build a community.