|
|
Home »
Sexual
Resources » Sex
Articles
Oral
Sex: Fellatio
How
To Give A Blow Job & Do It Well
Along with tips on how to best ask for a blow job.
Explore
not only how to give a great blow job but how to ask for one
as well. Learn blow job techniques that will excite any man
as well as things that you should avoid when giving a blow job.
Find out what the number one blow job tip is when it comes to
great oral sex.
Whether
you want to call it giving head, a blow job / BJ, oral sex,
going down on... there are many wonderful benefits to performing
this delicious sex act. In this article we will review blow
job instruction with great tips to help you make it amazing
whether you give or receive.
|
By
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sex Expert
CEO
& Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS
Copyright
© Holistic Wisdom, Inc.
|
|
|
Fellatio
The
term fellatio comes from the Latin word fellare, which means
to suck. In fellatio the head and shaft of the penis are licked,
kissed and sucked.
How
To Ask For Blow Job
The
best way to ask for a blow job is to work on seduction. Tell
your special someone how much you desire them and that you
have been fantasizing about how it would feel to have their
mouth and tongue sliding up and down you. The key point here
is that that you flatter them with your desire, it is not
a demand or an awkward question. You can also start with giving
oral sex and then asking for reciprocation. If you have been
together a long time, you can make it more pleasant for them
by sharing flavored lubricants and special oral sex toys discussed
and shown later in this article.
|
Let's
first discuss the most important ingredient to giving fantastic
fellatio... ATTITUDE.
For one,
it can provide the one giving the blow job with an sexually
empowered sense of control and with specialized techniques,
there are infinite possibilities to be creative and provide
amazing pleasure. Particularly when performed with enthusiasm
it can not only be incredible to the receiver but to the one
providing it as well even if the techniques are not there.
Combine them and you will be on your way to being a fantastic
lover.
If you
approach this as something that disgusts you, or even a chore
then in my opinion, you shouldn't bother doing it. No
matter how many cool tips you know, you will never give really
good head with out desire driving it. Sex should be fun and
exciting to each partner no matter what you are doing.
Several
women I know have told me that they will exchange favors with
their husband when he desires fellatio. For example, one friend
told me that her husband will do the dishes for a week just
to get a blow job. I have to say that if that is the kinda
of sex life you have... you are missing out on some serious
passion. But do not panic, no matter where you are in your
relationship you can change it for the better.
Don't ever underestimate the power of your perceptions. If
you perceive any sex act, including fellatio to be dirty,
repulsive, or a chore then it will be.
My husband
and I always say that desire starts in the mind and honestly
I see nothing more important to a good sex life than your
attitude and perception toward it. That is why I always suggest
communication as it provides a way to talk about what really
turns you on. It also gives you the opportunity to work through
old belief systems about sex that no longer serve you and
end up holding you back sexually.
|
You don't want
to make the mistake of thinking that figuring out what the best
techniques are will make you the best lover. Remembering that attitude
will make up for any lack of technique is probably the best sex
advice you'll ever get!
|
Oral
Sex 411
|
Cunnilingus
The Art of Female Oral Sex Techniques, Anatomy, Video
Clips & Detailed Instruction
|
Oral Sex Toys
|
To
those wanting to give incredible fellatio, let me give you
a quick example of what I mean about attitude.
Negative
Attitude
Imagine
that you and your lover have found yourselves in the bedroom.
He is laying on the bed and had negotiated a blow job. So,
you walk over, pull his pants down quickly to get right down
to business. You open you mouth and move your head quickly
up and down. Like a robot, you have no variation and exhibit
no passion. After all, you want to get this over with and
are just trying to get him to cum. Before you began you instructed
him to tell you when he was going to orgasm because you want
to be warned. After all, this is something that you are going
to want to be prepared to avoid. When he finally cums you
jerk you face away and let him do so all over himself. You
run to the bathroom to rinse out your mouth and brush your
teeth and do not return as you have things you have to do.
Positive
Attitude
Imagine
that you and your lover have a moment of flirtation. You move
closer to your lover, moving him down on the bed and smiling
as you do it. As he lies there, you slide down to his pants,
you seductively remove them. You give him looks as though
you want to devour him. To you, he looks like candy just waiting
to be tasted. You lick and run you fingers all over his shaft
and balls not neglecting his inner thighs and abdomen area.
You reach to your sexy stash and grab some warming, flavored
lubricant so that you can slowly pour it over his cock as
though you are pouring chocolate syrup over a sundae. Lightly
licking his balls you use your hand to firmly grasp the base
of his shaft and slide you hand up and down his shaft. You
take your time as you approach the head of his cock and give
him an even more firm squeeze as you get there. As things
progress, you move your mouth to the tip of his cock and lick
while teasing him with your seductive eye contact. As you
slide his hot, hard cock into your mouth you let out a little
moan and start grinding your genitals on his leg. This turns
you on and you want him to know it. After fucking him with
your hands and mouth, while giving him dazzling visual displays
of rubbing his cock all over your face; you feel him ready
to release his desire. You fuck him now deeply into the back
of your throat until he comes so hard that his legs press
against your head from the intensity. Afterward you move up
to him and embrace him telling him how hot that was for you.
Striking
Difference
Are you
seeing a difference here? Even if you decide to give a 'quickie'
blow job, your attitude allows you to be the best he's ever
had. Men, just like women, want to feel desired, so to make
him feel like orally pleasuring him is repulsive to you is
certainly a 'blow' to his ego. Show him that you desire him
no matter what sexual activity you do and you will really
make it fantastic.
|
Why
Men Love it So Much
Many
men LOVE receiving oral sex and this is true for a few reasons.
It of course feels good, but it also makes them feel desired. Often
times, a man is made to feel ridiculous for the focus on his penis,
but women are no different. We worry about our push-up bras and
how big our butt looks in an outfit. We also enjoy intimate contact
like snuggling and of course we also enjoy sexual stimulation.
When
you start doing things like negotiating doing the dishes for sex,
you are downright insulting them. After all, how would you feel
if someone told you that in order to be sexually intimate with you
that you had to do the dishes first?
|
No wonder
men and women often think of fellatio as something a bit dirty...
we tend to make it that way don't we? Cleaning the dishes
is dirty and undesirable and yet it gets compared to the equivalent
of fellatio? We also often think of it as derogatory to the
giver... yet in reality it is an opportunity to take control!
I think when we take negative attitudes toward our sex life
then the true beauty of love and sex is terribly belittled.
Even
when a person chooses to be with a variety of partners while
dating or through open relationships, we can really enjoy
sex on a deeper level when we let ourselves truly BE with
people. Being aware of the beauty of sensuality in our partner(s)
and ourselves is what makes any sexual experience an amazing
one. Isn't that true of anything in life? How often do we
drive to work not even taking a moment to notice the beautiful
sun shining down through the clouds and lighting the world
up with its brilliance. How about how often we shove food
down our throats without taking the time to really enjoy each
morsel of what we are eating?
|
|
The
same applies to sex... when we are mindful of our partner(s) and
our own needs, sensations, and emotions then we will be better able
to truly enjoy what life has to offer when it comes to oral sex
or any kind of sexual activity. Try it just once and I am certain
you will be amazed at the difference. If you find it is still uncomfortable
then you may need more than an attitude adjustment, you may need
to explore deeper issues that inhibit you from enjoying your sexual
experiences.
|
Important
On Fellatio
You
can get STDs
(including HIV-AIDS) from giving oral sex.
You
do not have to swallow or "deep throat" a man to
give good oral sex.
|
What
Is Cum (Semen)?
A
man's semen is about the amount of a teaspoon and it is not unhealthy,
fattening (the average ejaculation is approximately 15 calories)
and it will not get you pregnant.
Deep
Throat Or Not To Deep Throat
Often people
think that someone highly skilled in the art of fellatio will not
only deep throat, but will do it for the entire length of the blow
job. Nothing could be further from the truth. Of course if you are
comfortable with it then by all means deep throat him during the
course of oral sex, but if you are not using other techniques with
your tongue, lips, hands and fingers then you are probably giving
a rather boring blow job. Also, the sheer fatigue that you experiences
can change your attitude quickly so changing things up helps a great
deal.
The pleasure
from a blow job is created through deep throating is created by
the uvula pressing on the frenulum which massages the corona. Translation-
it is a snug, warm, wet environment and a most pleasurable place
for a penis. The average depth of our mouth cavity is 3 - 4 inches
and the average penis size is 5 – 6 inches, thus you can see the
difficulty in getting a full penis in your mouth and down your throat.
This leads us
to the breathing issue. If you are deep throating your partner,
then you are most likely cutting off your air supply for certain
amounts of time. Learning to breathe through your nose or taking
breaks by using your hands is a good way to maintain the pleasurable
flow of stimulation to his penis.
Gagging
Remedies
-
It
happens to the best of us and the main thing to remember that
psychologically you need to not panic. Panicking can cause you
to vomit and that is the last thing you want to do.
-
Gagging
can be assisted through use of numbing agents like sore throat
sprays and drops. You will want to be aware however, that using
them may very well numb your partner unless he has a condom on.
Also be aware that by using products with Benzocaine that there
have been health issues tied to them so you may want to be careful
using the often if at all.
-
Because
a blow job should not just be about up and down motions or even
deep throating you can use your hands quite a bit to help you.
Often times, when you squeeze at the base of the shaft while using
your mouth on just the head and upper shaft you can create the
same affect as deep throating. Rubbing his delicious cock on your
face, neck and chest is also quite visually stimulating so do
not forget to show him how much you are enjoying in addition to
focusing on your technique.
Communicate
If
he thrusts or pushes you down a bit onto him and you find yourself
gagging, pull back up and pause to let him know that it is uncomfortable.
Lovers that have been together for a long period can also develop
a signal that just politely lets them know of this discomfort. If
he does not clue in on this you can come up and begin using your
hand to recuperate or let him know that you were beginning to hit
the gag reflex a bit and you want to rest a minute while playing
with his cock. He most likely will be happy that you do this because
the last thing a man wants is for you to throw up on him because
you were too worried that he would not understand that his penis
is going to hit the back of your throat from time to time and cause
a gag reflex.
If you really
have an issue with gagging, let him cum elsewhere whether in a condom,
in your hands, on himself, inside you (vaginally or anally), on
your chest or neck as you revel in it. The best thing to do to make
your intentions known is to make a comment before or during oral
sex to let him know where you want him to cum. You can make this
sound really sexy if you say it with passion. For example- "I
can't wait to feel you cum in between my breasts, I want to rub
it all over me!" Note the positive approach?
Body
Strategies
Having
him on his back allows you to better control his thrusting by using
your forearms to push him down if he begins to thrust to a point
that it is uncomfortable for you. You can also gently tug on his
testicles as though you were pulling on the reins while riding a
horse to let him know he needs to slow it down. Remember not to
do this too hard, as you don't want to cause him pain, rather just
enough to cause him to come back and allow you to avoid gagging.
Hand
& Mouth
One
of the best ways to give oral sex is to also include your hands.
Any one that knows how to give a blow job well will tell you that
the following technique is a must when your mouth is tired, your
gag reflex is getting triggered or he is well endowed and deep throating
is a challenge. The best of us get tired!
Taking
your hand, make a fist around the shaft of your lover's penis with
your little finger resting on his pubic bone. Then at the same time
take your mouth and go up and down the head and upper shaft of his
penis while you go up and down with your hand at the same time.
This gives the same sensation of you "deep throating"
him (taking him deep into your throat). Adding different combinations
with both hands, or your mouth make for creativity and fun!
Quick
Fellatio / Blow Job Tips
The
mucous membrane that is inside the mouth is similar to the lining
of the vagina or anus and the moist slippery feel of the mouth
and tongue on the penis can be extremely pleasurable. That
is why fellatio can be incorporated as part of a couple's foreplay,
meant to heighten sexual arousal, or it can be the main activity,
meant to bring the man to orgasm. Remember, it does not have to
be the finale.
The
reasons that fellatio is generally more socially accepted are
as follows-
-
Remember
that just as you do not want pain or discomfort during this
process, neither does your lover.
-
Be
sensitive to their needs and watch their body language for cues
as to what is comfortable and what is not.
-
Nothing
like the smell of "ball rot" to turn off your partner. Unless
they tell you they love it when you are sweaty and stinky, take
a shower or take a warm washcloth and clean up not just your
penis, but your balls and perineum area.
-
You
may even want to use it on your anus as your lover may like
to give you a rim job.
-
A
really quick way is to use baby wipes. Strippers have been known
to use them all the time for quick clean ups and you can too!
-
Giving
a tug to the ol' short and curlies will help to loosen any hairs
that are about to fall out and prevent them from going into
your lover's mouth, which is not the most pleasant sensation.
-
You can also shave or trim your pubic hair for a more tailored
look and feel.
Oral
Sex Toys
There
are many types of oral sex toys on the market. Before you get any
of them, make sure they are non-toxic as there are many products on
the market today that contain toxins. We provide a great deal of education
about this in our articles under our site.
There
are two basic types of oral sex toys- 1) There are the sex toys and
lubricants you can use while performing oral sex. 2) There are the
sex toys that simulate oral sex such as the Sqweel Wheel. To view
these types of products, see our Oral Sex Toy section below-
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sex
Toys
Every
Sex Toy You Need
For Women & Men
|
|
|
Adult
Gifts
Gift
Baskets, Starter Sets
Toys for Sex & More!
|
Advanced
Fellatio Instruction
|
What
You Receive
|
Positions
|
Techniques
|
Instruction
|
|
What
is covered in the manual and video -
If
you do not want to purchase anything else from our site you
are welcome to just purchase the manual by itself-
Instant
Access-
For
Web Access to our manual of Advanced Fellatio positions, techniques
& pictures-
|
On
Sale-
$14.99
Now Only-
$9.99
|
|
- Basic
& Best
- 68
1/2
- 69
- Face
Fucking
- On
Your Knees
- On
The Side
- Visual
Importance
- Stage
Fright
- The
Exhibitionist
|
- Deep
Throat
- Gagging
Remedy
- Using
Teeth
- Kisses
& Tongue
- Do
The Twist
- Shirley
Temple Licks
- Head,
Shaft & Scrotum
- Grabbing
His Behind
- Making
Him Tight
- Hand
Job Combo
- Vacuum
- Double
Penetration
- Teeth
Guards
- Thigh
Highs
- Hummers
- The
Harmonica
- The
Drum
- Hot
& Cold
- Women's
Lubricant
- Hands
On Your Head
- Adore
The Cock
|
- Penis
Anatomy
- Messes
- Orgasms
- Perineum
Love
- Anal
Love
- Nipple
Love
- Mouth
Love
- Fatigue
Warning
- Health
Concerns
- STD
Prevention
- Hygiene
- Tips
For Receiver
- Clean
Up
- Post
Etiquette
- Toys
& Products
- Fellatio
In Water
|
Access to the
manual download is given immediately after you place your order through
your online receipt and an email.
Please contact us if you have difficulty
accessing it as we are happy to assist you.
|
