She Can't Orgasm         Is It The Size Of His Penis? It seems a large majority of men are concerned that their penis is inadequate in one way or another. Even though I have tried to reassure men through our site that most of their concerns are in vain, there is always the phone call or eMail to us about wanting to know more.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

My heart goes out to you guys, we women struggle with our body image too, and I know just how confused, insecure and frustrated it can make us feel. One of the biggest concerns heterosexual men have, is that they are worried they are not bringing their female partner to orgasm and that it is the size of their penis that is the cause.

As many of you know, the male penis has a variety of shapes, lengths, angles, and sizes. Just like woman's vagina. The key to achieving orgasm for a woman during sex is based on a few things, so let's start there.

Women need to have psychological as well as physical triggers that will allow them to reach orgasm. If there are psychological blocks preventing orgasm, those should be explored further through communication and possibly therapy.

If there are physical obstacles, then looking at what to focus on when it comes to a woman's genitals is a good place to start-

The Importance Of The Clitoris

Often many people forget the obvious, which is that men and women all start out female in the womb. Thus, we actually have the same parts in different places. The clitoris develops into a penis, and the g-spot (Skenes Glands) turn into a prostate in a male. This means that men ignoring the importance of clitoral stimulation would be like a woman thinking that the key to making a man orgasm is through prostate stimulation. The head of the penis is key for male stimulation, just as the clitoris is key for a woman. Forget this and you will be ignoring the most sensitive part of a woman's sexuality.

The Angle Of The Gspot

First, I would like to point out that only 30% of women climax from g-spot orgasms alone. The main causes of this low percentage is that the g-spot is not as sensitive as a woman's clitoris and a male's penis and female's vagina may not match up at the right angle to have enough pressure applied to her g-spot.

One gentlemen asked me if it was because of penis size. My reply surprised him... no, it is most often the angle. Surprisingly, it is not as much about the width or length of a penis that makes for a great g-spot orgasm, it is how much pressure is placed on the g-spot. This can be affected by how her vagina fits to his penis (how she is shaped inside and how he is shaped/curved). It can also be affected though position and knowledge about stimulating the g-spot. So, the real issue is that her vagina angle and your penis angle may not be compatible

Why Do Some Women Like Penis & Toy Width?

Women often talk about wanting width because with a really wide penis or sex toy you are going to get more pressure on her g-spot. Women are not as focused on length because a longer penis or sex toy can easily hit the cervix, which can really hurt.

Perhaps not as obvious is the downside when looking at width. Many women dislike being stretched out to accommodate a wide penis as it can hurt by tearing the vaginal opening, especially for women who have not had children vaginally.

In these cases, couples are most often having to go back to the focus of angle. Regardless of whether a woman likes width, a man's penis is often able to provide adequate pressure against a woman's g-spot if the angle is right, so we return to the fact that size does not have to be the end all concern here.

Remember that most g-spot stimulators are the size of a finger or two and are highly effective. In fact, most women experience g-spot orgasms from finger and sex toy stimulation because the angle and pressure is easier to control!

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