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Dating Services
Online
Tips
& Warnings
When
Using Online Dating Services
We
really care about our clients, and want the best for you. We have
provided for you some of our recommendations to keep on-line dating
fun, easy, meaningful, and most of all safe. Here are some tips
on how to do that. Also see our article on dating
and romance scams on the Internet.
Online
Dating Safety Tips
1.
Be a Skeptic
Here's a place where the old adage "Don't believe everything you
read" most definitely applies. People lie on-line just as they
do in real life. Areas to be particularly cautious about: Marital
status and physical appearance. "Look at your own past experiences
in meeting people," suggests Sharyn Wolf, author of Guerrilla
Dating Tactics: Strategies, Tips and Secrets for Finding Romance
(Plume/Penguin). "Have you generally had good judgment about people?
If so, then you can rely on it here too. If not, proceed with
caution, and perhaps turn to a friend to help you evaluate someone
you've met on-line."
2.
Use Tools Wisely
Some on-line personals sites allow you to send and receive e-mail
without using your real address. Take advantage of this option
if you can. Then use e-mail to get a sense of a person before
you further the relationship. "Begin to (anonymously) e-mail back
and forth, and learn about the context this person operates in,"
suggests Wolf. "Where did he grow up? Where does she work? Who
are his friends and family? How is she connected to the community
in which she lives?" Learning about a person's connections with
others is an important way to find out who they really are.
3.
Ring My Bell
The phone reveals a lot about a person's social skills, and their
ability to communicate spontaneously. But do it on your nickel;
don't rush to give a stranger your phone number. Now that you're
voice-to-voice, if not yet face-to-face, give yourself the opportunity
to get a good feeling for what someone is like before you decide
you'd like to meet.
4.
Resist the Hard Sell
If you are getting pressured to get together, that's probably
a good sign that this is a person you want to steer clear of.
Also, continue to keep your antennae up. If, as you are getting
to know each other, anything seems off, bow out gracefully.
5.
Separate Fantasy From Reality
If e-mail has a downside, it's that it allows you to build up
a false sense of intimacy with someone. "A person who writes great
e-mail is not necessarily a great person," points out Laura Banks,
author of Love On-line (Career Press). No matter how wonderful
your e-mail correspondent may seem, try to keep some distance
the minute you hear his or her voice, or meet in person, the whole
thing may seem wrong. Don't allow your hopes about this person
to obscure what you really feel.
6.
Use Common Sense
When it is time to meet in the real world, use these hard and
fast rules: Don't give out your home or office address; meet in
a busy public place during daylight hours; use your own transportation
to and from the date; tell a friend where and when you are going;
and check in when you get back. There'll be plenty of time for
moonlight walks later on!
Also
see our article on
dating and romance scams on the Internet.
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