Finding A Good Sex Toy
         Quality Vs. Junk

Common concerns about purchasing a sex toy are- "I bought the wrong thing in the past and now I don't know what to get." "I want it but is it worth the cost?" "What will my partner think of me?"

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

If these thoughts sound familiar, you are not alone. There's nothing like expecting a night of fireworks from a sexy new toy and then finding it to be a disappointment. Sure there are sex toys that are more hype than help, but as often as not, the consumer hasn't done enough of his or her own homework when selecting the toy.

Looking At Recommendations

You wouldn't buy a movie on DVD without knowing anything about it, and since you can't test-drive a sex toy, you really want to think about some of this stuff before buying! Here are some basic pointers:

If you are just starting out with your first or second sex toy, then you will want to check out our featured sex toys. I post them there as they are what many people (including myself) enjoy.

I find it somewhat funny in conversations when people think I have personally used every single sex toy we carry. If I did that, then I certainly would not have time to run this business! However, I try out toys that I think either I personally would enjoy or what our customers may be interested in and see if they live up to their hype. I also have friends try them and ask that customers let us know what they really think of a sex toy after they have used it to let us know their thoughts.

Often customers are surprised to see their feedback actually get applied to what toys we carry and what are said about them. Many of our toys were actually suggested to us from people who already had them and wanted to recommend them to our site visitors! Such is the case of the Fleshlight™. I had been very disappointed with most male masturbators when we received an eMail from a man who absolutely loved his Fleshlight and told us we should carry them. Within one week, we had them available on our site with a personal review from my husband and myself about them.

Many sex toy makers who want us to sell their sex toys, assure us that their toy is fantastic. Yet, it is important to me that they actually live up to their reputation and deliver what people are expecting them to be, so we certainly don't rush to have every sex toy offered on our site. Rather we focus on what is good and take our time in adding new products to make sure we are providing high quality. That is what you should be looking for where ever you purchase a sex toy.

Find A Company That Will Treat You Well

One time a man who was an Engineer had ordered a vibrator for his wife from us and it turned out it was defective, so we sent him a replacement a few days later. When that turned out to be defective, he actually eMailed me with an outline of why he thought it was malfunctioning. After we spoke, he indicated that he wanted an alternative toy so we sent him two of his alternative preferences for free. We then called the toy manufacturer of the defective vibrator and let them know why their toy was malfunctioning as well as letting them know that we would not carry their toy unless they corrected the problem.

It is important to find a company that will be accountable for returns, defects, shipping problems, and other customer service issues because many companies count on you to be too embarrassed to complain.

Cheap Vs. Quality Manufacturing

The problem is that many toys are made of cheap parts, using cheap International labor. That is why it is somewhat scary to order a sex toy, not just because they may not live up to the hype, but they may simply not work!

One of the ways that we have dealt with avoiding cheap and defective toys is by doing business with reputable companies that provide quality products. It is in our interest, not just yours, that we do this as we have a professional reputation to protect. Because we take responsibility for anything that is defective we also don't want to have situations where customers are calling to get their money back or do expensive exchanges because it just does not make good business sense to put our customers or our company in that situation.

Be a savvy consumer once you've narrowed down what you're looking for because the adult industry has traditionally exploited consumer fears and embarrassment around sex toys. Some adult stores sell low quality merchandise at inflated prices. I've heard from more than one person who bought a fifty dollar toy only to have it break down in three days from other companies.

For example, Vibratex, the original makers of the Rabbit Pearl (seen on HBO show Sex In The City) suddenly had many companies making cheap knockoffs of their product. One European company had to recall its wannabes when they found that the metal rod that rotates the shaft could pierce through the vibrators exterior! Making sure that you get safe sex toys is important, not just for your safety but also piece of mind.

If the sales hype on a toy sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Once in awhile something really exciting comes along that's worthy of the praise. There's usually a groundswell of interest, so try to find reviews if you can and shop at places you trust.

Visit web sites that post customer feedback and provide information, ask friends about their favorites, and look for bestsellers. Also, make sure the company provides contact information beyond a phone number or eMail address. You are going to want to see an address to make sure they are legitimate.

Since sex toys are used on intimate parts you will want to make sure any sex toy you use is a high quality product and as chemical free as possible. Some of the high quality sex toy brands that you can trust are Vibratex, Fun Factory, Erotic Embrace, Jollies, Tantus and Lelo to name a few all of which we carry on our site.

Potential Financial Disappointment

If you're hesitant to experiment with toys because of the money or the unknown factor, here's a little perspective: think of a disappointing sex toy experience as somewhat akin to a disappointing meal out. You might pay $60 at a fancy restaurant for a meal that didn't thrill you, but it wouldn't stop you from trying another new restaurant.

When you do stumble upon a great restaurant, you've just improved the quality of your life. Accept the fact that not all sex toy experiences will be mind blowing ones, but that the more you explore, the more likely you are to end up with the orgasmic equivalent of culinary delight.

Sex Toys & Partners

If you're buying a toy for partner play, it helps to keep this adage in mind: "you can't please all the people all the time". What works for you might not work for your partner, so if you're expecting the toy to deliver amazing simultaneous mutual orgasms, there's a good chance you'll be disappointed.

Finally, make sure your partner is a willing participant, otherwise you run the risk of making them feel inadequate or insecure if you whip out a new toy in the heat of passion. Also, make sure to keep a sense of humor, which comes in handy when you're strapping on a purple dildo or a cock ring that looks like a bunny. Whether or not the toys can live up to your expectations, sharing sex toys with partners is a great way to communicate about your sexual needs and to explore new erotic adventures.

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