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Home » Sexual Resources » Sex Articles » Sex & Society

Exotic Dancers
For Women: What It Really Takes

FREE Guide for Professionals-
If you or someone you know desires to become a professional exotic dancer then this article will be a great first step in considering everything that is involved. There will be specific tips as well as resources that you may find helpful.

Spicing Up Things At Home-
If you are just wanting to spice things up in the bedroom, this article will give you an inside glimpse into how professionals create the seductive illusions they do and may offer you some ideas as to how you can make things hotter in your own relationship.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.


Is Professional Exotic Dancing Right For You?

The most important issue to address, is if it is right for you. This is certainly a choice that one should come to on their own terms. You will also want to consider that your family and friends may find out about your choice and also contemplate how this may impact your ability to get a job in the future. Also, if you have or plan on having kids you need to take into consideration that while you may be able to explain to them what you do as a good choice for you, the other parents, teachers and kids may not and your child may have to face the stigma of their parent being an exotic dancer.

While being an exotic dancer can feel empowering to many, it also leaves some feeling jaded. Whenever you work in a position that is based primarily on appearances, it is impossible not to feel overwhelmed at times by the superficial focus. You should determine if you are the type of person that can handle that or if it may leave you feeling empty or even resentful.

Also, for the most part you will find that most customers are respectful. However, you may encounter those that are looking for you to fill an unhealthy desire. You should ask yourself if you are going to be capable of dealing with some of the darker sides of someone's personality.

These are just a few of the things you need to think about before jumping into professional strip teasing as it is important to make a well thought out decision about what may be a potentially controversial decision.


Exotic Dancer Terms & Types of Performances

There are a variety of terms when exploring the world of exotic dance. One thing to note is that exotic dancers tend not to refer to themselves as strippers; rather they prefer terms such as exotic dancer, erotic dancer, burlesque dancer, belly dancer and so on. However, most of the clubs that they perform in are referred to as striptease and strip clubs. Types of striptease dancing include burlesque, lap dancing, table dancing, pole dancing, fan dancing and belly dancing. There are also fantasy themes: such as schoolgirl, police officer, nun, maid, business women, and even more wild performances that include flame throwing, water shows and body paints.


Professional Exotic Dancer Schools & Education

There are professional programs that offer classes and private tutoring for erotic dancers covering a variety of topics such as-

Dance Evaluation Creation Of Stage Name & Image Agent/Management
Choreography Photography & Videography Financial Planning
Nutrition & Fitness Marketing & Advertising Hair / Nails / Wardrobe


Unexpected Physical & Emotional Challenges

It is often surprising to those who try professional Exotic Dancing as to how hard it can be on multiple levels. Not only do you need to be in good physical shape and appear attractive, but you will be dealing with bruises, blisters and other side effects of doing things like wearing extremely uncomfortable shoes and working a pole.

It also requires thick skin emotionally as many dancers can be very competitive and sometimes downright insulting not to mention the club owners and those that will be hiring you. Additionally, customers will be viewing you only in a physical way and this can sometimes feel uncomfortable to inexperienced performers. Beyond all the glamor, you may also experience rejection as well as insulting remarks from customers and keeping your self-esteem in tact will be important.

On the other hand, many women who excel at Exotic Dancing say that it is one of the most empowering feelings they have experienced. It is important to remember that this is not something that defines who you are, rather it is an aspect of what you do and you should always remember to keep this all in perspective.


Prepare

You will be judged when you are a professional exotic dancer and you will need to be prepared for evaluation of your facial appeal, breast size and shape, vaginal appearance (if dancing nude), body (tone, body fat, skin tone), hygiene (pubic and anal) and your dancing and acting ability.


Auditions & Choosing A Club

Be prepared, have stiletto shoes and some good costumes. Wear something sexy yet comfortable to the audition. Also, don't forget to bring with you an identification card.

Be on time and try to go alone to the audition. If you do bring a friend, have them wait where you cannot see them or where they can not be a distraction.

Visit a few strip clubs so that you can get a feel of the atmosphere, watch techniques of other dancers and see how they work best with customers. Take notes and be observant so that you can learn what will work best for you. Also, get a feel for which club would appeal most for you to work in. Google the Ultimate Strip Club List and similar sites so that you can look for clubs in your area and read reviews to get an idea of what customers and dancers really think of the club. If you are applying as an exotic dancer through the help of an agency, seek opinions and testimonials from other dancers who may have worked with the agency you're considering.
Even if you have a favorite club, you should audition at different ones so that you can get a feel for different stages. You may want to save the club you want to work for last so that you have the opportunity to understand what is expected of you during other auditions.
The club you decide on needs to be a place where you feel safe and comfortable. How good a club makes you feel about yourself is just as important as the money.


Stay Professional

When you are at the club, you should not spend time socializing with the other dancers. Rather focus on customers so that you can make money. After all, that is why you are there. Be respectful, courteous and always treat it as a job. It will help you to make money and keep any negative experiences in perspective.
When you are turned down by a customer, do not take it personally. Move on to the next customer and stay polite and thoughtful as you leave. This behavior may even make the customer think twice about having sent you away and they may ask you back later.
Do not feed into negative gossip of other employees. It is beneath you to do and it will not serve or benefit you. Ignore workplace drama, stay professional.
Dancers go on the stage in rotation, so it is important to make sure when they call your name you are ready to perform.
Most boyfriends and husbands that say they are okay with you stripping are fine for the first few weeks. However, jealousy can start to set in as you are away from home during the night. Also, his friends may start to make comments getting him upset. It depends on the stability of your relationship and how well both of you can handle this as to whether you should continue. You should note that there is a good reason why most erotic dancers are single.


Financial Insights

Depending on the club, lap dances cost on average anywhere from $25 - $35 per song. Champagne rooms that allow for 30 minute dances are generally $175 - $200. Some clubs give you cash right before or after the dance while others will have cards that count your dances and you cash out at the end of your shift.
Most clubs have what is called a house fee and how much it is depends on the club. They are anywhere from $20 - $100 a night. House fees cover the cost of dressing rooms, security, make-up artist, etc. A club with a higher house fee should allow you to make more money so don't use house fees as criteria for choosing a club. You should expect house fees to be 10 to 20 percent of your nightly earnings. Calculate it at the end of a month: if it goes higher than 20% for over two months you may want to consider changing clubs.
It is customary to tip the DJ at the end of your shift. It typically should not be less than $10 and is usually 5% to 10% of what you make. Having a DJ and good music on your side is always a plus.
Dancers can make as low as $100 in one night and as much as $2000. If you work in a high end club in a major city, you may even make more.
Use locks on lockers as you may find that your belongings go missing from other dancers or employees of the strip club.
Store your money in a small evening bag and carry it with you wherever you go. Never leave it unattended.
There are a limited number of years in which to make as much money as you can. Most dancers retire by the time they are thirty. If you're starting when you're 18 that gives you twelve years to make as much as you can and then get out. Chances are you will never again be able to make as much per day as you do while dancing. Make the most of it.

Live within your means; base your spending on what you would make at a regular job, not what you make dancing. Invest and save the rest. Also look into at least base or catastrophic health insurance. It can be easy to be injured by breaking an ankle or hurt you knee and you do not want to be buried in debt from medical expenses.

Unless you are savvy in the stock market, mutual funds are safer and more reliable for the novice investor.
Treat club employees well. Bouncers will help keep you safe and assist with customer disputes over money. Bartenders can send customers your way. Cocktail waitresses can also work with you to keep your customer happy so again try and get along with everyone.


Working Effectively With Customers

If a male customer is with a woman, respect that they may not want you to approach them for a lap dance. If you do ask, it may be best to ask the female if that is something she would be okay with as a sign of respect and leave if she says no.
Even if you don't make much money stay positive as customers who see when you're bored and will not want to have anything to do with you. They come there to forget their problems and your job is to help them forget.
Some men are coming to strip clubs just for company, so be a good listener and if they are willing to pay you for your time, you can stay and and help make them feel better just by showing your support.
If your club allows double dances - two girls at a time, use it to your advantage as sometimes customers who don't want regular dances will go for double dances.
Avoid the hard sell with customers and start off by asking them how they are and make light conversation. Don't just walk up to them and ask if they want a lap dance or be pushy. Make your customers feel appreciated. Learn their name and use it to personalize their experience.
When it is clear your customer does not want a lap dance, nicely move on by letting them know that you enjoyed speaking with them, but politely let them know that you have to go and earn some money. Let them know if they change their mind you would be happy to come back.
Don't discuss your relationship status with customers. You can just say that you are their fantasy for the night and leave it at that. Most erotic dancers have noted that men prefer women who say they are single as it plays into their fantasies but do not feel pressured to lie.
Always appear confident, even if you are new or do not know many tricks; the key is being sensual. Move slowly, maintain eye contact, be flirtatious and interact with the customers.
Pick out your favorite songs beforehand, it will make a DJ's job easier and you will be better prepared to demonstrate your sexy skills. You can always give him a list with songs or a CD with some songs you want him to play and remember to tip.
Avoid asking personal questions of your customers that may distract them from their fantasy such as what they do for a living or if they have kids. Try and keep things sexy, light and fun.

Respect yourself and the customer-

  • Make sure the customer is coherent.

  • Explain how payments work.

  • Explain rules of touching.

  • If propositioned for sex, politely let them know that it is illegal and you are a law abiding citizen.

  • After every song ask them if he would like you to continue as you do not want the drama of a customer saying they cannot afford the endless number of songs you have danced for them.

  • Offer a discount if the customer will pay for a large amount of time up front as you will make more money by keeping the one customer than spending time looking for another.


Costume Tips

Customers may not want you to dance for them if they think you are going to get body oil, glitter or obnoxiously strong perfume all over their clothes so stay away from using them. Stick with a mild, unscented waterbased lotion and if you use a scent. A soft body spray that is high in alcohol content can be a good as it is not going to linger like a perfume will which has a higher oil content and will be harder for your customers to remove from their clothes if you have contact with them. However, most customers will tell you that they would prefer that no perfume, oil, glitter, etc. rub off on them, especially if wearing work clothes.
Always carry tampons and baby wipes for keeping your anus and vaginal area clean and well kept.
Bring band aids, moleskin or other items that will help you deal with blisters.
Make sure you have unscented, clear deodorant to keep body orders at a minimum. You will be doing some heavy physical activity and will want to stay smelling nice.
Wipe down the bottom of your shoes with rubbing alcohol before you go on stage to keep from slipping. Making sure that the bottoms of your shoes are clean so you can keep from slipping and falling. Putting no-slip rubber pads on the bottom of your shoes is a good idea as it prevents embarrassing falls.
Have at least a few costumes with you and have fun with it. You can even get something that can glow in the dark.
Don't wear expensive jewelry as chances are you will lose it. Whipping your hair around can send earrings flying and rings can really hurt when using a pole.
Have at least two pairs of shoes. It is always better to get platform shoes rather than just regular high heel shoes as they are more comfortable to dance in. Also, you should buy half a size bigger than you normally would wear to avoid blisters. As the main purpose of heels is to flatten your stomach and lengthen your legs, the minimum height is 3 inches to accomplish this. Look for a shoe with a plastic one piece sole and heel. Shoes with leather and wood heels tend to flex too much and put a lot of stress on your knees and back. Make sure to practice walking and dancing at home to avoid injuries.
Most clubs require thongs, however some topless clubs have rules against G-strings as they tend to not provide enough coverage to comply with local laws, so find out what the club requires before buying many bottoms.
Don't wear an asymmetrical costume (hem cut at an angle, one shoulder strap or sleeve). Men unconsciously are drawn to "Bilateral Symmetry" which means that your arms and legs are the same length. An asymmetrical dress throws this off and you could see a drop in tips from wearing one.
Pubic hair- the best thing to do is to wax, laser or use electrolysis. Razors leave rashes and ingrown hairs. The best thing to do is just leave a little hair at the top or remove it all so that it is not sticking out of your costumes.
Use body makeup to cover any blemishes that you might have on your body. If you do a lot of pole work you may have to cover the bruising that it causes as well.
Keep in shape. Think of it as an investment - 1 hour of exercise a day = more tips. Low body fat is key to dancers that earn the most and while you do not have to be fashion model thin, you will want to be toned. Things like yoga and weight training are helpful.
Breast implants are not necessary as many exotic dancers find that they make great tips regardless of breast size.
Anal bleach may be a good call and something you can pick up at a local drugstore.

Safety & Legal Tips

Club rules are different from state to state so you will have to check with the club that you work for and may want to do some of your own research. The general rule is that customers are not allowed to touch you. Always call a bouncer if you feel threatened.
Never meet with a customer outside the club or promise drugs or private parties.
Don't promise anything that is against the club rules or is illegal. Don't forget undercover officers come into the club and it would be damaging to your career and the club for you to do that.
Leaving is when you have to be most vigilant so try and arrange someone to walk with you to your car. Public transportation is all right if it is a cab and you can cut costs if you share it with other dancers.
Never give any personal information to anyone who knows you as a dancer, including other dancers. There are dancers as well as bouncers who will give your personal information to customers for money or as a favor. There is no reason anyone needs to know anything but your stage name. Don't tell them where you live or what school you go to no matter how trust worthy they seem.
Stay away from drugs, it is a waste of your money and will only impair your better judgment.


Famous Exotic Dancers

The notorious- Mata Hari, Gypsy Rose Lee and Sally Rand. New Burlesque performers - Velvet Hammer, Hope Talmon or Cyrelle St. James Co. and The World Famous Pontani Sisters. The pop group Pussycat Dolls began as a New Burlesque troupe. Male strippers have become a popular option to have at a bachelorette party and the most famous- Chippendales.


Strip Tease Products

While we do not carry strip tease products on our site, we do recommend one where you can get them and that is our sister site FruitsofEden.com. Please note that Fruits of Eden is run by a separate company and is not operated by Holistic Wisdom. Therefore, if you wish to purchase from Holistic Wisdom please do so before leaving or bookmark it so you can easily return. Thanks!

 

Here are some examples of things they carry that we do not that you may find of interest-

Stripper Poles
Adult Costumes
Lingerie
Sexy Clothing
Erotic Dancing DVDs
Stripper Shoes
Sexy Wigs
Stripper Accessories

 


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