Lesbian & Gay Marriages
         Civil Rights For Homosexuals

Arguments Against Homosexual Marriage There are many reasons being offered these days for opposing gay marriage and they are usually variations on a few well-established themes. I have outlined these themes throughout this article and will address each of them. What Is Marriage? Marriage is a powerful legal and social institution that protects and supports intimate family relationships by providing a unique set of rights, privileges, and benefits. Those who can marry often take these rights for granted, but for gays and lesbians these benefits have been unfairly denied. I am not suggesting through this article that anyone support gay marriage or be happy about it. I will state that I do not believe anyone has the right in the United States of American to ban it. If you don't like sex toys, don't buy them. If you don't like Porn, don't watch it. If you don't support gay marriage don't go to a gay wedding ceremony!

I am among millions of heterosexual, married women and men in support of homosexual marriage. By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. Holistic Wisdom Founder Read Why It Is A Civil Right

Religious Hypocrisy

Certain politicians are working diligently to prevent marriage between two people of the same sex. However, it seems to me that despite creating laws based on religion (which is unconstitutional in the first place), there seems to be deep hypocrisy about what scriptures of the bible they choose to ask the rest of us to live by...

If you take what the scripture of the bible says then you would also have to abide by the following rules- 1) Marriage in the United States of America shall consist of a     union between one man and one or more women.     (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) 2) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take     concubines in addition to his wife or wives.     (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

3) A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not
    a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

4) Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9;
    Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

5) Since marriage is for life, neither the US Constitution nor any state law shall permit
    divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9-12)

6) If a married man dies without children, his brother must marry the widow. If the
    brother refuses to marry the widow, or deliberately does not give her children, he
    shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined
    by law. (Gen. 38:6-10;Deut 25:5-10)

7) In lieu of marriage (if there are no acceptable men to be found), a woman shall get her
    father drunk and have sex with him.(Gen 19:31-36)

Think about how many things the bible tells Christians they should do and then take a moment to question why people think that it is not only the word of God (not the word of men inspired by God) and that it should be taken literally. It seems the dark ages when certain ultraconservative Christian groups were about political greed and power are not over.

Arguments Against Gay Marriage

Marriage Is An Institution Between One Man And One Woman

 

This is the most often heard argument. Yet it is easily the weakest. Who is marriage to be defined by? Isn't this whole debate like allowing a certain ethnic group to be married, but another not to be because of religious reasons? Isn't our country supposed to protect our civil rights and not allow any religion to supersede our rights? This is much like Texas state law wanting to say that Joanne Webb cannot sell sex toys because apparently ultraconservatives feel that plastic vibrators are against God's will.

Can you imagine how the fundamentalist Christians would react if the government was trying to impose Pagan or Jewish marriage ceremonies to be required by law in order to be valid?

For some reason many conservative Christian groups are under the impression that this country is Christian and that laws should be based on their beliefs. While I am not saying that Christians, Jews, Buddhists and other religions should not have their beliefs, I am saying they should not impose them as law in the United States. Our country stands for freedom and to have the audacity to say to the world that our country stands for freedom only when it adheres to certain religious beliefs is truly a disgrace. We have received many eMails from American soldiers that are currently defending our country including those over in Iraq who thank us for the articles that we write and that it is our stance on freedom of speech and sexual rights that is part of why they are risking their lives. I cannot tell you how meaningful that is for us to hear. Isn't that what America is supposed to be about... Freedom?

Marriage Is For Procreation

If that's the case, then why are infertile couples allowed to marry? I, for one, would love to be there when it is to explained to a post-menopausal mother or impotent father that since they cannot procreate, they cannot marry! Such an argument fails to persuade based on the marriages society does allow routinely.

Same-Sex Couples Should Not Raise Children

That's an interesting one, in light of who society does allow to get married and bring children into their marriage: murderers, convicted felons, and known child molesters are all allowed to freely marry and procreate, and do so every day. So if children are truly the priority here, why is this allowed?

The fact is that many gay couples raise children- adopted, through artificial fertilization and occasionally their own from failed attempts at heterosexual marriages. Many scientific studies have shown that the outcomes of the children raised in the homes of gay and lesbian couples are just as good as those of straight couples. Psychologists tell us that what makes the difference is the love of the parents, not their gender. These studies are very clear about that and gay and lesbian people are as capable of loving children as fully as anyone else.

Gay Relationships Are Immoral

Says who? The Bible? Somehow, I always thought that freedom of religion implied the right to freedom from religion as well. The Bible has absolutely no standing in American law, and because it doesn't, no one has the right to impose rules on anyone else simply because of something they perceive to be mandated by the Bible.

Not all world religions have a problem with homosexuality; many sects of Buddhism, for example, celebrate gay relationships freely and would like to have the authority to make them legal marriages. In that sense, their religious freedom is being infringed. If one believes in religious freedom, the recognition that opposition to gay marriage is based on religious arguments is reason enough to discount this argument.

Marriages Are For Ensuring The Continuation Of The Species

The proponents of such an argument are going to have a really hard time persuading me that the human species is in any real danger of dying out through lack of procreation. Especially considering that right now the earth is OVER POPULATED! Not to mention that this would contradict the argument that Gays should not have children.

If ten percent of all the human race were to suddenly refrain from procreation, I think it is safe to say that the world would probably be better off. One of the world's most serious problems is overpopulation and the increasing anarchy that is resulting from it.

Same-Sex Marriage Would Threaten The Institution Of Marriage

Threaten marriage? By allowing people to marry? That doesn't sound very logical to me. If you allow gay people to marry each other, you no longer encourage them to marry people to whom they feel little attraction, with whom they most often cannot relate sexually, and thereby reduce the number of supposed heterosexual marriages that end up in the divorce courts. If it is the institution of heterosexual marriage that worries you, then consider that no one would require you or anyone else to participate in a gay marriage. So you would have freedom of choice, of choosing what kind of marriage to participate in- something more than what you have now.

One of the biggest points made in regard to this controversy is that gay marriage threatens heterosexual marriages by making a mockery of them. I wonder how a couple of women or men that get married is going to affect heterosexual marriages negatively. I am straight and married, and yet those couples in Hawaii that have gotten married certainly have not caused any damage to my marriage or anyone elses for that matter. This argument is absurd!

Marriage Is Traditionally A Heterosexual Institution

This is morally the weakest argument. Slavery was also a traditional institution, based on traditions that went back to the very beginnings of human history. But by the 19th century, humankind had realized the evils of that institution, and has since largely abolished it. Why not recognize the truth, that there is no moral ground on which to support the tradition of marriage as a strictly heterosexual institution, and remove the restriction?

Same-Sex Marriage Is An Untried Social Experiment

The fact is that gay marriage has been legal in Denmark since 1989 and the rest of Scandinavia not long after. Full marriage rights have existed in many Dutch cities for several years, and it was recently made legal nationwide, including the word "marriage" to describe it.

So we do have a long-running "experiment" to examine for its results, which have uniformly been positive. Opposition to the Danish law was led by the clergy (much the same as in the States). A survey conducted at the time revealed that 72 percent of Danish clergy were opposed to the law. It was passed anyway, and the change in the attitude of the clergy there has been dramatic. A survey conducted in 1995 indicated that 89 percent of the Danish clergy now admit that the law is a good one and has had many beneficial effects, including a reduction in suicide, a reduction in the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and in promiscuity and infidelity among gays.

Far from leading to the "destruction of Western civilization" as some critics (including the Mormon and Catholic churches among others) have warned, the result of the "experiment" has actually been civilizing and strengthening, not just to the institution of marriage, but to society as a whole. So perhaps we should accept the fact that someone else has already done the "experiment" and accept the results as positive. The fact that many churches are not willing to accept this evidence says more about the churches than it does about gay marriage.

Same-sex Marriage Will Lead To Legalized Incest, Bestial Marriage And Other Horrible Standards

This argument is preposterous especially when those have nothing to do with two consenting adults who love one another it's just down right insulting to gays and lesbians.

It is no different than trying to claim that heterosexuals may start practicing incest or having sex with animals if they don't get married.

The reality is that a form of gay marriage has been legal in Scandinavian countries for over many years, and no such legalization have happened. It's a classic scare tactic making the end scenario so scary and horrible that the first step should never be taken.

Such tactics are signs you are dealing with someone that either is afraid and lives in fear of their own sexuality weakness or someone who wants power over you through your fear... either way it is a ludicrous point. If we listened to our hearts, not our fears, we would be much better off.

If "concern" were the real motive behind this argument, the advocate of this line of reasoning would be equally vocal about the fact that today, even as you read this, convicted murderers, child molesters, known pedophiles, drug pushers, pimps, black market gun dealers, etc., are quite free to marry, and are doing so. Where's the outrage? Of course there isn't any, and that lack of outrage betrays their real motives. This is an anti-gay issue and not a pro marriage issue.

Granting Gays The Right To Marry Is A "Special" Right

That is like saying that allowing African Americans to sit at the front of the bus is a special right! How absurd.

As Justice Kennedy observed in his opinion overturning Colorado's infamous Amendment 2 (Roemer vs. Evans), many gay and lesbian Americans are, under current law, denied civil rights protection that others either don't need or assume that everyone else along with themselves, already have.

The problem with all this "special rights" talk is that it assumes that everyone is already treated equal, therefore any rights gay people are being granted must therefore be special. That is most assuredly not the case, especially regarding marriage and all the legal protections that go along with it.

Sodomy Is Illegal

Actually it's not anymore...

In November 2003 the Supreme Court voted that "The petitioners are entitled to respect for their private lives," Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the court's majority. "The state cannot demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime."

The REAL Reasons People Oppose Gay Marriage

So far, we've examined the reasons everyone give for opposing gay marriage. Let's examine now the real reasons people oppose and fear it-

Not Comfortable With The Idea Of It

We all have the right not to be comfortable with things. However, if you live in a country where you are comfortable with everything then you probably aren't living in a free democracy. That is part of the compromise of freedom. There are going to be things that make some people uncomfortable with what you believe and how you live. For example, I am uncomfortable with racists and fundamentalist religions but I respect that they have the right to believe what they want to. I certainly would not advocate for laws to be passed that support my beliefs and infringe on their rights.

I mean, I would love to pass a law that made everyone have to own sex toys so that they would not be so up tight and hateful toward other people... but out of respect for their freedom to live their life the way they see fit I refrain from enforcing a vibrator and pocket pussy requirement law. (Hope that made you smile... as it was intended to do so.)

The other point that I wanted to make about the gay marriage debate was made by Bill Maher (Real Time Show on HBO) who said homophobics think that - "The only thing that a man should put in another man is a bullet." He also made the point that it is not lesbians that seem to disturb most people, it is gay men. I have to say that I agree that most people are more disturbed by gay sex and that is something I will reserve for another article as there is much to be said about the vast differences in attitude.

It Offends Everything Religion Stands For

Whose religion?

Many mainstream Christian denominations, to be sure, and definitely most branches of Islam and Orthodox Judaism, but outside those, most religions are unopposed to gay marriage, and many actually favor it. When the Mormon church arrogantly claimed to represent all religions in the Baehr vs. Lewin trial in Hawaii, the principal Buddhist sect in that state made it very clear that the Mormon church didn't represent them, and made it very clear that they support the right of gay couples to marry.

That particular Buddhist sect claims many more members in Hawaii than does the Mormon church. In a society that claims to offer religious freedom, the use of the power of the state to enforce private religious sensibilities is an affront to all who would claim the right to worship according to the dictates of their own conscience.

Regardless, religious freedom does not just mean the right to worship with your choice of religion, but also freedom FROM religion.

Marriage Is A Sacred Institution

Who says? This is based on the assumption that the state has the responsibility to "sanctify" marriages; a fundamentally religious idea. Here we're dealing with people trying to enforce their religious doctrines onto everyone, but by doing it through weakening the separation of church and state, thus undermining the Bill of Rights.

Gay Sex Is Unnatural

This argument, often encoded in the very name of sodomy statutes, betrays a considerable ignorance of behavior in the animal kingdom. The fact is that among 1,500 animal species whose behavior has been extensively studied, homosexual behavior in animals has been described in at least 450 of those species.

It ranges from displays of affection to life-long pair bonding including sex and even adopting and raising orphans. The reality is that it is so common that it begs for an explanation, and sociobiologists have proposed a wide variety of explanations to account for it. The fact that it is so common also means that it has evolutionary significance, which applies as much to humans as it does to other animal species.

Sex With Two Men Is Not Masculine

Just as there are effeminate gay men there are effeminate straight men. There are also masculine lesbians and masculine straight women. The point is that we all possess masculine and feminine attributes. You might think I am masculine for being the CEO of my company, for knowing about automobile repair and you might also find me feminine with my need for too many pillows on the bed to decorate it or for liking Sex In The City! Personally, I think that the show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy shows that many straight males could use some help!

Homosexuals Might Recruit

This is based on the fact that most heterosexuals are so repressed, confused and uneducated about their own sexuality that they feel scared when presented with something out of the mainstream. Homosexuals do not recruit straight people to be gay, in fact I would say that with all the Religious Fundamentalists out there trying to brainwash homosexuals that they are suffering from a disease and can be cured that it is the opposite! Heterosexuals try and recruit homosexuals all the time, isn't that hypocritical!?!

Why This Is A Civil Rights Issue

Did you know that homosexuals cannot make medical decisions for their partners in an emergency. Instead, the hospitals are usually forced by state laws or to go to the families who may be estranged from them for decades, who are often hostile to them, and totally ignore their wishes for the treatment of their partners.

If their partners are arrested, they can be compelled to testify against them or provide evidence against them, which legally married couples are not forced to do. Is this fair?

In many cases, even carefully drawn wills and durable powers of attorney have proven to not be enough if a family wishes to challenge a will, overturn a custody decision, or exclude them from a funeral or deny them the right to visit a partner's grave. As survivors, they can even seize a real estate property that they may have been buying together for years, quickly sell it at a huge loss and stick them with the remaining debt on a property they no longer own. Is this fair?

These aren't just theoretical issues, either; they happen often. Almost any older gay couple can tell you horror stories of friends who have been victimized in such ways.

Without Legal Marriage, Homosexuals
Do Not Have The Rights For-