| Accept
Compromise
The key
is for BOTH partners to offer solutions to meet their spouse's
needs. If one partner compromises much more often, you will
find trouble down the road. There needs to be a common respect
from each partner and a willingness to bend when needed.
Have
High Standards
The most
successful couples are those who refuse to exhibit or accept
hurtful behavior from one another. The lower the level of
tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship,
the happier the couple is down the road.
Learn
to Successfully Heal & End An Argument
Successful
couples know how to exit an argument and how to repair the
situation before an argument gets completely out of control.
Successful repair attempts include: changing the topic to
something completely unrelated; using humor; stroking your
partner with a caring remark ("I understand that this is hard
for you"); making it clear you're on common ground ("This
is our problem"); backing down (offering signs of appreciation
for your partner and his or her feelings along the way ("I
really appreciate and want to thank you for...."). If an argument
gets too heated, take a 20-minute break, and agree to approach
the topic again when you are both calm.
Focus
On The Positive
In a
happy marriage, couples make at least five times as many positive
statements to and about each other and their relationship
("We laugh a lot") as opposed negative ones ("We never have
fun"). A good marriage must have a rich climate of positive
feelings, statements and beliefs.
Seek
Help When Needed
The average
couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems
(and keep in mind, half of all marriages that end do so in
the first seven years). This means the average couple lives
with unhappiness for far too long.
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