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Featured Articles May 26, 2006 Oprah Magazine Reviews Sex Toys We Have The Scoop! Are Women In Porn, Stripping or Prostitution Sick? Where Black And White Thinking Leads

Love ~ Loyalty ~ Honesty

This Issue's Sex Joke

Brokeback Bar

A heterosexual man walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it's a gay bar. "Why not," he says to himself, "I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the man, "What's the name of your willy?"

The man says, "Look, I'm not gay. All I want is a drink. "The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan, 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies.'

"The man looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty man asks, "Why Timex?" the fella proudly replies,"Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'" Amused, the man turns to the two fella's on his right who just happens to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job One." "Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY.....'Like a Rock!" And gives a wink!

Even more thirsty, the man has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the man a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?" The man says, "Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!

Please Note- Holistic Wisdom, Inc. does not intend this joke to be offensive to gays or lesbians as we are embrace all people regardless of sexual orientation. We believe the world is a better place because we are diverse and bring our own unique energy to the universe to create an eclectic, beautiful whole.

Oprah Magazine " O "
         Reviews Sex Toys June 2006

"My eyes light on the holy grail, the Rolls-Royce of sex toys. Drumroll, please: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Rabbit Habit."

If you haven't caught the June 2006 issue of Oprah's Magazine that reviews sex toys then here is the scoop. Basically, Lisa Kogan goes to a sex toy shop to review sex toys with Hilda Hutcherson, MD (sexpert). She comments on how pretty and sculptural they are and even says "... you could really have them on your coffee table without anybody realizing they're vibrators." I suppose because I teach sex education for a living it always amazes me that many women know nothing of sex toys. There are concerns of addiction that are brought up in this article and I wanted to take a moment to address that because I agree with what is said about it.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

There is simply no more a risk of addiction to sex toys than getting addicted to lemonade. Some people like lemonade more than others, some drink it all the time, some people find it is not for them and others like it once in a while. The same thing applies to sex toys. They are what you make them.

Many women use them in relationships to enhance love making with their partner, some use them solo. No matter whether you are with a partner or not when you use them, they can make you feel wonderful, allow you to embrace your sexuality in new and creative ways and are truly a great advancement for women.

Many women, have never experienced an orgasm until they used a sex toy. Sexual intimacy with ourselves and partner is one of the greatest physical pleasures we humans can have... why would we miss out on using sex toys by ourselves or with our partner in order to be more creative and enjoy a rich and fulfilling sex life? It is simply every woman's God given gift to experience sexual pleasure... we should graciously embrace it with open minds.

Lisa Kogan makes note of a few items that pique her interest here is the list-

	Kama Sutra's Honey Dust Dusting Powder That Tastes & Smells Wonderful! More Information			Remote Controlled Panties Great For Discreet Fun More Information
	Fukuoku 9000 Finger Sex Toy Has Dishwasher Safe Components! More Information			Rabbit Habit Cordless Version of Sex In The City's Rabbit Pearl By The Same Maker. More Information
	Pocket Rocket Small, Quiet, Powerful & Waterproof! More Information			Make Your Own Dildos Also In Make Your Own Vagina Kits & Edible Chocolate! More Information

Lubricants That Taste Terrible-

There are a lot of flavored lubricants that taste like cough syrup to me so I agree with Lisa in the article about that. What I can tell you is that my staff and I have searched the flavored lubricant industry up and down and there are a few that we recommend with top ratings. Below are our favorites. They actually taste like the fruit they claim to and have the benefit of being waterbased and condom safe. We sell sample packets of them so you can try them out for yourself before buying a big bottle.

Wet Lubricants Includes Warming, Flavored, Waterbased & Silicone Lubes & Massage Oils! More Information

ForPlay Lubes The Best Tasting Out There & We've Looked! More Information

Other Sex Toys We Recommend-

Sex Toy Reviews

Adult Gifts Our Gift Baskets and kits make wonderful gifts for yourself or someone special!

Sex Tip Use cock rings on your non-vibrating dildos for added clitoral stimulation during penetration!

Ask Lisa
         Relationship & Sex Advice

With hundreds of eMails coming in every day and while I answer many, it is not possible for me to reply to all of them. However, I wanted to provide a section where we take some of our readers questions and post them on our web site so that we can provide answers that everyone can benefit from having the information available on our web site. To submit your question such as those shown below eMail us for consideration of publishing it in our next newsletter.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

Women In Sex Industry

Hello,

I am a survivor of the commercial sex industry. I was a stripper for four years and a prostitute for seven. While I was stripping, I had absolutely no memories of sexual abuse. I found it empowering and I made a lot of money. When I got out of the business, I had to go into treatment for overwhelming Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a drug problem I had developed in order to deal with my past.

I have been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder and after thirteen years of therapy I understand how my severe childhood sexual abuse groomed me for entry into the sex industry. I had repressed all my memories of the abuse and dissociated them from my conscious mind in order to survive my childhood inferno. I acted out my abuse on a nightly basis in my work as a stripper and prostitute. I remember why I became a stripper, and it was because I was a whore in my own home.

Every woman in the industry who says she was never abused does this. This is called DENIAL, the most powerful defense mechanism available to human beings. I have statistical evidence from the Post Traumatic Stress Institute to back up my information. Bella Donna is an example of someone abused severely and violently who is reenacting this on a screen for the entire world.

Additionally, a high percentage of women in porn and those who pose as Centerfolds have been sexualized in their homes and now, in the culture at large. There is nothing healthy about porn. The actresses are molested little girls, period. You should really study the current psychiatric literature on Dissociative Identity Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 60% of women in strip clubs suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder. Human Trafficking is a problem now because the United States has the greatest demand for sex slaves. Five billion dollars a year is now spent on child porn in this country. The legal sex industry feeds this demand by sexualizing young girls. Molested children learn to get their needs met by being sexual in the childhood home.

They then transfer this belief to the sex industry, where at least they are paid for their abuse. Healthy women with self esteem would never star in a porn film or work as a stripper or prostitute. How many little girls do you know who say "When I grow up I want to be a stripper or porn star?" None, unless they're being molested. There are now more porn outlets than McDonald's restaurants in this country. If you multiply the number of molested little girls in those films by the number of outlets, it boggles the mind. So, please educate yourself.

Hi,

I listened to your voicemail and read your eMail, I have to say it was incorrect and rather condescending. First of all, I have worked within the psychiatric community for many years so I am fully aware of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder-MPD. I also know very well those who strip, do porn and other sexually related work. While some have had abuse, certainly not all of them have.

Your statistics are either made up, inaccurately twisted to sound like they apply to what you are talking about or was not a scientifically conducted study done over time with a large number of women interviewed. There are perfectly healthy and well adjusted women who enjoy their sexuality, who like the act of sex and the attention it affords them and to deny this is to say that women cannot be sexually extroverted which is a societal judgment that is past it's prime.

I know this is not true for you or people who have a need to lash out against sexuality in this form through such black and white thinking, but it is true for others. We all have emotional issues that are painful, but to blame those on our behavior takes away our personal empowerment.

If all of us walked around blaming others for our painful childhoods there would be no accountability for our own choices good or bad. Porn for some is healthy and for others it is a disaster. To say all sexual entertainment and better sex videos is bad is like saying that all food is bad for you and simply not true.

Please note that when I refer to the adult industry I am referring to the legal adult industry and not referring to child porn, human trafficking or the like which I am a strong advocate against. I am referring to the legal side of sexuality via porn, strippers and better sex models and actresses.

I have worked for years with rape and sexual abuse survivors and am quite aware of their issues. I have also worked with porn actresses and strippers. So I am perfectly capable of having the ability to espouse my opinion without feeling that I am speaking erroneously. I do not quote false statistics or use my highly emotional personal past to approach this issue as you clearly do.

This is not to say that there are not many women who have abuse issues, but for you to say that all of them have Dissociative Identity Disorder if they do not accept that they have been abused regardless of having a memory of it happening to them is truly a fallacy and irresponsible.

The key to life is balance and clearly your pendulum swung from one of promiscuity for the wrong reasons to anger against the industry you were once a part of for personal reasons. While you have the right to judge it for yourself and the right to voice your opinion (good intentioned I am sure) you should try and take a look at what you are really saying because it is clear to me that you still have unresolved issues that you project onto others, including the adult industry.

The lack of accountability you give to yourself and women saddens me. You make it sound as if women are victims and that they are incapable of making choices for themselves. Particularly someone who has been abused. When someone learns to overeat as a way of coping with sexual abuse (which as I am sure you know eating disorders are rampant among sexual abuse survivors) you don't hear anyone going after the food industry in the name of sexual abuse.

Ultimately no matter what happens to us as children we are responsible for our own behavior as adults. If you think that you were in the porn industry because you were sexually abused, that may be the case, but you cannot speak for the rest of all women who are with authority and you must own that it was YOUR choice to be in the adult industry. Slapping a diagnoses like Dissociative Identity Disorder on someone so casually really diminishes one's accountability which is one of the main things I think our society needs more of.

No one is completely emotionally, mentally or physically evolved on this earth, we often have "aha moments" when we see we are not being true to our higher path. If you think that doing something in the sexual professional is not on your path that is certainly your call. However, I can assure you that you waste your time trying to convince others of that which is right for you is also right for them... you begin to sound like a fundamentalist who can't see that there is diversity in the world and that your truth is not everyone else's reality.

Those like myself who are in the field of psychology will tell you that those who are sexually abused often develop promiscuous behavior, but they can also develop extremely repressed sexuality. They can also flip flop where you will see someone like yourself go from highly promiscuous behavior to extremely repressed sexual behavior or ideology.

It seems you are still struggling on your path to healing. I have said what I would like to say, and based on your voicemail and clearly false statistics, you do not need to bother to contact me to try and convince me that they are true, it would be a waste of both of our time. I wish you well with your endeavors and hope that you will find peace.

Best,

Lisa

Lisa S. Lawless, P.h.D., CEO

More of my viewpoints on related topics-

Sexual Wisdom
Sex In The News

This section is for sexual current events and news; allowing our web site visitors to hear sex news around the world.

Internet Freedoms Being Threatened
We Are At Risk- Please Read This

May 2006

Congress is pushing a law that would abandon the Internet's First Amendment -- a principle called Network Neutrality that prevents companies like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast from deciding which Web sites work best for you -- based on what site pays them the most. If the public doesn't speak up now, our elected officials will cave to a multi-million dollar lobbying campaign. That means sites like ours with small advertising budgets will disappear off the Internet and all you will be able to see are big corporate sites because they will be able to afford to pay for it.

Internet companies like AT&T have been AT&T and other Internet operators are spending millions lobbying Congress for more control over what we see and do online and are trying to win this fight by telling Republicans in Congress this is just a left-wing issue. But MoveOn and the Christian Coalition have designed a full-page New York Times ad to expose the truth: people across the spectrum are united behind Internet freedom!

Internet users of all political stripes are fighting back together. The SavetheInternet.com Coalition—led by Free Press—includes the Christian Coalition, MoveOn, Gun Owners of America, the ACLU, Craig from Craigslist, Free Press, small businesses, consumer advocates, Internet advocates, musicians such as Moby, R.E.M., Q-Tip, The Roots, Trent Reznor of NIN, the Indigo Girls, and the Dixie Chicks, and over 700 other organizations from around the country. Also supporting Net Neutrality are high-tech pioneers like Google, Amazon, and eBay, as well as "fathers of the Internet" Vint Cerf and Tim Berners-Lee (the inventor of the www). We're part of something huge.

Pirates Lands on Home Cinema Choice Top 50 List

May 2006

Pirates

The Digital Playground/Adam & Eve release Pirates has been named one of Home Cinema Choice magazine's "Top 50 Greatest Import DVD's of All Time," receiving a cover mention and an insert in the June 2006 issue.

Pirates is the only adult DVD to make the list, coming in at No. 38. It ranks above such Hollywood hits as Godzilla and Clerks, and alongside T2, Kill Bill, Sin City, Batman and Legend. Pirates takes adult movies to a whole new level and it's a small wonder that Pirates won just about every 'adult' award going."

Unmarried Adults Can't Live Together

May 2006

In Black Jack, Missouri the City Council has rejected a measure allowing unmarried couples with multiple children to live together, and the mayor said those who fall into that category could soon face eviction. Olivia Shelltrack and Fondrey Loving were denied an occupancy permit after moving into a home in this St. Louis suburb because they have three children and are not married.

The town's Planning and Zoning Commission proposed a change in the law, but the measure was rejected Tuesday by the City Council in a 5-3 vote. "I'm just shocked," Shelltrack said. "I really thought this would all be over, and we could go on with our lives." The current ordinance prohibits more than three people from living together unless they are related by "blood, marriage or adoption."

The defeated measure would have changed the definition of a family to include unmarried couples with two or more children. Mayor Norman McCourt declined to be interviewed but said in a statement that those who do not meet the town's definition of family could soon face eviction. Black Jack's special counsel, Sheldon Stock, declined to say whether the city will seek to remove Loving and Shelltrack from their home.

HPV Vaccinations Can Save Lives

May 2006

Vaccinations for contagious diseases like measles and mumps are required before a child can enter public school. That won't be the case with the HPV vaccine, however. The Bush Administration, its allies on Capitol Hill, and the religious base of the Republican Party are opposed to mandatory HPV vaccinations. They prefer to rely on education programs that promote abstinence from sexual activity, and see the HPV vaccine as a threat to that policy.

Scientists: Soon a new HPV vaccine will virtually banish cervical (and some penile) cancer. So, we should require vaccination.

Bush Supporters: Sorry. Vaccination would send the wrong message. HPV is spread by nookie...so either abstain, or die!

Site Blockers Bias Against Pro Gay & Lesbian Sites

May 2006

When students or teachers in schools or libraries here try to log on to sites such as the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation or Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, they are greeted with a notice that says the site is blocked. The reason: it falls within the gay/lesbian category.

However, students who want to check out organizations that oppose gay rights, such as the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality or the Traditional Values Coalition, encounter no problems.

Bob LaRocca, who monitors computer security for the school district, says part of the problem is the ages of students surfing the sites. He acknowledges the blocked sites may be fine for high school children but has concerns about younger students accessing them. That keeps them off limits for everyone. "Someday, when we can differentiate who is going through the sites, things may change," he said. "But there is no technology out there to do that. When you have 200,000 users, how do you judge how old someone is? It's impossible, so we have to treat it so it's the youngest child." The American Civil Liberties Union plans to review the policy.

Police More Interested In Porn Than Arrests

May 2006

In Pocola, OK police raided Adult World and accused owners of violating state obscenity laws. However, no arrests were actually made. The officers said their only goal was to confiscate the pornography and shut the store’s doors. An investigation leading to the raid took several months, during which time the officers reached the conclusion that the store was selling illegal videos and magazines. After the raid, officers from several agencies took inventory and seized items, which they said would be destroyed. The cops were still going through items to be destroyed several hours after the raid. Perhaps it was difficult to decide which officers would take which DVDs home for destruction.

Thank You For Reading
The Holistic Wisdom Journal

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