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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing.

"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie!, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Healthy, Safe, Non Toxic Sexual Products
Making Your Sex Life Green With Green Sex Tips

The trend to make your sex life and sex toys green is becoming an increasingly prominent issue and we are happy to see people finally coming on board! After all, we at HolisticWisdom.com have been educating consumers about health, the environment and sexuality for many years.

Looking at one's health on all levels is important and often overlooked when it comes to sex. Often people forget that sexuality is an enormous part of our health and using products that encourage it can make a huge impact. It can allow for deeper pleasure, satisfaction, peace of mind and prevention of health complications that may result from not using healthy products. It can also positively impact the environment.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder

Using Non Toxic Sex Toys

With over 43% of Americans having used a vibrator, sex toys are a prominent part of our sex lives these days. However, along with all the pleasure and sexual creativity they bring, there may be some unwanted chemicals they come with them as well. Many educated consumers are now looking for toys that are hypoallergenic, nontoxic, eco-friendly with lubricants that are paraben and glycerin free.

Concerns come into play because the government has not been willing to work with the adult industry, rather they attack and repress it. Instead of acknowledging sex toys as being for sexual behavior they insist that manufacturers label them as novelties or medical devices (the latter being quite a challenge for sex toy manufacturers to achieve).

Because the U.S. Government is not requiring sex toy regulations, sex toy manufacturers classify their products as "novelties" and avoid having their products regulated as well as you might think. This is also why it is rare to find user manuals on how to actually use the products, as this would define them as something for sex and possibly defined as a medical device, which affects their product classification.

What you end up having are companies that make sex toys and companies that make literature and videos about sex toys rather than having the ability to buy a sex toy with a manual for use. It cheats the consumer from really being able to fully enjoy their sex toy and be fully educated about it.

Dangers In Phthalates

Phthalates (pronounced thal-ates) are "plasticizers" used to soften PVC vinyls. If vinyls do not have any softeners, they are basically very hard PVC plastic.

Many of adult sex toys contain the same toxic substances that the European Union banned from use in children's toys. Greenpeace tested some of the toys and found that seven of the eight sex toys it had tested contained between 24 and 51 percent of phthalates.

Phthalates can disrupt the human hormonal system, diminishes fertility and adversely affects the kidneys and liver. The substance is used to soften plastics and PVC plastic. Banning phthalates would just mean that manufacturers would need to make nontoxic alternatives which is pretty easy to do. They just cost a little more.

Safe Sex Toys To Look For

Look for toys made from glass, metal, silicone, hard plastics, or elastomers. Putting a condom over a suspicious dildo is also a good move.

Since sex toys are used on intimate parts you will want to make sure any sex toy you use is a high quality product and as chemical free as possible. The high quality sex toy brands that you can trust are Vibratex, Fun Factory, Erotic Embrace, Jollies, Tantus and Lelo to name a few all of which we carry on our site.

You can see that most of our products list whether or not something is phthalate free, non-toxic, hypoallergenic, or 100% medical grade silicone. If you are unsure, feel free to contact us and we will clarify any of the questions you may have about it.

Learn More About Sex Toy Safety & Materials

Lubricants

We recommend organic, glycerin, paraben free, waterbased lubricants because it is closer to your body chemistry and less likely to cause a reaction. Sliquid H20 is a glycerin, paraben free waterbased lubricant that emulates your body's own natural lubrication and tends to be less sticky. Because this type of lubricant is water-based, they dehydrate (dry up), but remember that the slippery ingredients are still there... so a quick dunk of your hand in a glass of water on your bedside table, touch the lubed area, and you're back in business.

If you decide you prefer a silicone lubricant, we highly recommend Sliquid Silicone Lubricant due to the high quality ingredients and texture. Sliquid also makes a hybrid, Sliquid Silk, that is comprised of a combination of waterbased and silicone ingredients. The Sliquid company has long been ahead of their time regarding research of ingredients and quality and composition of their lubricants. All Sliquid products are hypoallergenic and nontoxic

Learn More About The Safety Of Lubricants

Condoms & The Environment- Picking A Green Condom

Health & Condoms-

Latex-
Most condoms are made from latex. One thing to keep in mind when using them is that latex condoms can only be used with water based lubricants, not oil based lubricants as they break down the latex and destroys the protective nature of the condom.

Allergies- Use Polyurethane
People who have an allergic reaction to latex can use polyurethane condoms which are made of a type of soft plastic. They are thinner than latex condoms and more expensive. Oil and water based lubricants can be used with them.

Going Natural
"Natural membrane," or "sheepskin," condoms are made from the intestinal lining of sheep. This is the oldest type of condom still being used today. The natural membrane is somewhat porous, and is therefore not recommended for protection against certain STDs. This type does, however, protect against pregnancy and bacterial STDs. Some users find these condoms to be more comfortable than those made of latex. They have a strong odor that some find a bit overwhelming compared to latex or polyurethane.

Condoms & The Environment-

Condoms are contributors to how big an ecological footprint you are leaving. There is still controversy as to whether or not latex condoms are biodegradable and what the effects additives and lubricants have on their biodegradability.

Latex is biodegradable as it is an all-natural substance made from the sap of rubber trees. However, latex condoms are not composed of 100 percent latex and latex does not biodegrade when it is in water, which is one reason why it is not good to flush your used condoms.

Used condoms are best sent to the landfill as flushing condoms down the toilet is not good as this clogs pipes, treatment plants, and rivers. As of yet, no one has taken up the job of recycling these plastic items along with soda bottles and such, so don't throw them in the recycling bin.

The plastic and foil wrappers condoms are packaged in are also not biodegradable and should be taken into consideration as well.

Natural Membrane Condoms
"Natural membrane," or "sheepskin," condoms are biodegradable which make them a nice way to be environmentally conscious.

Polyurethane Condoms
Polyurethane condoms, a plastic material, are not biodegradable.

Lubricants & Spermicides In Condoms
Lubricants and/or spermicide coated on and/or added to latex and lambskin condoms, however, may alter their decomposition potential. And, no one has studied how long it takes condoms, lubricated or not, to break down. Regardless of condom biodegradability, most landfills are over-capacity and do not provide the ideal environment nor the main ingredient, air, necessary for effective decomposition.

Green Condoms?
Unfortunately, there is not a "green" condom at this point, but we will keep you posted. Until then, experts recommend condoms be disposed of in a trash receptacle.

Alternatives
Condoms are a great form of contraception and STI protection, however if you're worried about accumulating extra trash, there are other options out there. If you and your significant other are both monogamous and have tested negative for STIs, you might want to consider a birth control method that produces less waste.

Dusk was starting to set over the peach orchards, the darkness closing in slowly as a panther stalking its prey, a cool breeze blows calmly inward toward the town. On the old balcony, sits a young woman as her short blond hair wisps softly around her shoulders and neck. The setting sun gives her skin a soft glow, giving her the appearance of an angel. Her soft white sweater around her shoulders complimented her deep beautiful eyes staring out, her mind lost in a soulful bliss, the type coming only from true happiness. Her smile is evident of such emotion that he can sense it.

Out of nowhere, his strong hands come from behind her, gently grabbing her breasts. Her heart jumps to her throat as she feels his breath pass by her ear. Whispering softly in her ear, he tells her that he can no longer wait to have her, to taste her, to feel her wrapped around his manhood. Taking her inside, he slowly walked her upstairs, images of her when she was naked before him flooded his memory. Placing her on the bed, he teased her. Pulling her up against his body he starts to kiss her neck softly, working his way inch by inch down to her shoulders.

She takes deep breaths as all of her silent passion starts to work its way to the surface, her eyes closing to enjoy the lustful feeling of his lips kissing down her shoulders. Slipping one hand around to her back he undoes the clasps of her white lace bra, letting his fingers slide under the straps, pushing them down her arms and off her body. Placing it near her blouse, he lets his fingers gently run up from her waist to her large, firm breasts that only a teenager should have, he gently rubs her nipples until they stand erect. Moving back to kiss her neck again, with an occasional nibble, he begins to massage her breasts and letting his thumbs play with her now hard nipples even more as they stand up full and hard. Her breath starts to get a little shorter and quicker as he continues to tease her while making her head swim as he lovingly kisses her neck.

Turning around in his arms and slowly making him lay down on his back, she starts to move down his body with her hands reaching his sweats. She slowly slides them down, until his cock, which has grown in length and is throbbing, pops up like a �jack-in-the-box�. Her pussy getting more wet seeing his cock so full in length and knowing it is all hers to use tonight as she wishes.

She takes his cock completely in her mouth and starts to suck it all the way to the base and head. His body shakes and quivers as her tongue and mouth work his hard, erect dick into a frenzy. Sliding his hand between her legs he wets his fingers in her sweet cum, bringing his fingers up to taste her sweet, sticky nectar. Licking them clean he slides them between her legs again to get them wet.

He moves his fingers slowly at first massaging her pussy lips, then her clit and just to be a tease, dipping his fingers in and out of her sweet honey pot. Feeling his fingers pleasure her wet pussy, her mind going crazy with ecstasy, she reaches in between his legs to grab his cock by the shaft and stroking it in a full motion. As her pussy starts to drip, he moves his attention to her little clit ring sticking out and begins to rub in a circular motion. All the while, her breathing is becoming short and quick as she can't help but enjoy the feeling of how wonderful his fingers feel moving in and around her tight , little pussy.

Knowing that all he wants is to make her happy and give her the most pleasure possible, she gets turned on even more as her body starts to tremble and shake. Right at the moment she feels like she's going to erupt with pleasure, he leans in kissing her as his fingers finish pushing her over the edge, their kiss breaking as she arcs her back. He continues to rub her pussy now drenched in her cum and slowly builds her to another orgasm. Sitting up she positions herself over his cock, looking into his eyes that are hungry with passion as her own is filled with sexual lust, she lowers herself down on his cock, feeling it fill her up completely.

Slowly as she rocks her hips feeling his cock moving around deep inside of her, she starts to massage her nipples and squeeze her breasts. Moving her hips up and down she begins to ride him like a bull, as he drives his hips up to meet hers and the sound of flesh pounding flesh echoes through the empty house. After a few minutes, she lies on his chest and he grabs her by her hips and begins a steady pumping of her sweet pussy and at the same time he wets his finger from her wet cunt and inserts the finger into her little brown hole and she groans wildly. She knew he was getting close.

He rolls over on top of her, sliding in between her legs, lifting her legs over his shoulder and back against her large breast and starts thrusting his cock in and out of her pussy feeling each time as his hard Dick hits the back if her vagina, causing her to gasp each time it goes all the way in. Her hands start grabbing at the sheets as her body is filled with ecstasy feeling his thick cock sliding in and out of her.

Once again changing position she gets on her hands and knees as he positions himself behind her and starts slowly, sliding his cock in and out of her dripping wet pussy. He begins with each thrust increasing speed to start pounding her again. Her moans and gasps for air as the power of his thrusts and the size of his cock bring her close to Cuming again. Moving his hands from her ass to her hips he thrusts in deeper, causing her body to shake once again with another orgasm.

Scratching the walls and screaming his name, she could no longer hold back as he pinned her down to the bed by holding her wrists, faced buried in the big fluffy pillows on her bed. With one full thrust, he erupted inside of her, and she feels the hot pulsating cock as it sends a flood of his semen deep inside of he already dripping cunt until it runs out of her onto her thighs and down the cheeks of her ass, their love making complete and satisfying.

She tries to catch her breath.... "Breathe, baby...." He said in a husky voice. Hearing that, she came and came again.

Holding her as they drifted off to sleep, she told him that she loved him and drifted off into dream land...

This section is for sexual current events and news; allowing our web site visitors to hear sex news around the world.

The "DC Madam," recently convicted of running a prostitution ring catering to Washington politicians, is said to have hanged herself in Florida yesterday, the Washington Post reports. Deborah Jeane Palfrey was awaiting sentencing for federal racketeering charges. Palfrey maintained throughout her hearings that her clients paid upwards of $250 an hour for "quasi-sexual game-playing" and "erotic fantasy," but not sexual encounters.

A new bill introduced into Ecuador's Assembly calls for a "right to sexual enjoyment" for women, according to the UK Metro. Assembly member Maria Soledad Vela has championed the bill, claiming that it will take away the stigma of the country's women being seen as merely sexual or procreative objects. Notes Vela, "I never asked for the right to orgasm, only the right to enjoyment."

Sexologists concur that women get more satisfaction from sex at different times of the day, Croatian website Javno reports. In the early morning, women "are not in the mood to make love yet," but between 10 a.m. and noon "women's taste buds are very sharp" and it's a prime time for oral sex. At noon is when "women are at the top of their game" for sex. At 2 p.m., they start to feel sleepy again until 8 p.m. when their hormones increase and they're "prone to initiating sex, as well as experimenting."

Germans have better sex -- and more of it -- than the rest of the world, according to Germany's The Local. Results from a survey showed "55 percent of Germans older than 16 years of age have regular orgasms, compared to 48 percent of the rest of the world," and 80 percent of men "said they nearly or always climax during sex, while the worldwide average was 63 percent." Women in Germany are also more satisfied with sex; Results showed two-thirds said they were "satisfied with the intensity of their climax, compared to 54 percent of women across the world."

A Jimi Hendrix sex tape showing the guitar god servicing two brunettes has surfaced 40 years after it was filmed, according to tmz.com. "The tape is up close, personal and raunchy," tmz.com reports. "During the threesome, Hendrix loses his clothes but never sheds his legendary headband!"

Masseuses at Indonesian massage parlors are being required to wear chastity belts. "Drummed up by the local authorities of Batu, a tourist resort to the east of Java, this stern measure was hoped to prevent prostitution and keep up local appearances. Despite strong criticism from Meutia Fardia Hatta Swasono, minister for women's rights, the new measure could even be on its way to the capital," Jakarta, France 24 reports.

In Tunisia, a man who was not physically present is accused of the rape of a 20-year-old woman during phone sex. "The intercourse did take place with all its details but verbally only," the woman's lawyer claims. Although the man never touched her, "a medical examination had determined that the woman was no longer a virgin," United Press International reports.

Some people think that once the hymen is broken (popping her cherry) that a woman is no longer pure or is a virgin. As far as being "pure," let me say that I have met virgins whose character and behavior in other aspects of their life were far from "pure." In regard to the Hymen... ridiculous... the hymen is not an indicator of virginity.

A Malaysian woman is suing her husband for nearly a million dollars (about R8-million) over the loss of her virginity. The New Straits Times said the 30-year-old teacher is claiming 3-million ringgit ($941 000) in damages for false promises over their marriage, which collapsed after her in-laws disapproved. It said the pair consummated their relationship after dating for a few months, then legally registered their marriage, but they never went through the customary Chinese marriage rites.

Satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from 3 to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of sexual activity, according to a survey of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists. Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades. Thirty-four, or 68 percent, of the group responded and rated a range of time amounts for sexual intercourse, from penetration of the vagina by the penis until ejaculation, that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long.

A happy marriage is good for your blood pressure, but a stressed one can be worse than being single, a preliminary study suggests. That second finding is a surprise because prior studies have shown that married people tend to be healthier than singles, said researcher Julianne Holt-Lunstad. It would take further study to sort out what the results mean for long-term health, said Holt-Lunstad, an assistant psychology professor at Brigham Young University. Her study was reported online on Thursday by the Annals of Behavioral Medicine.

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