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Featured Articles June 24, 2006 Women & Sexual Empowerment Superficial Sexual Attraction Vs. The Real Deal Lucky Louie HBO's New Honeymooners With Sex & The "F" Word

Love ~ Loyalty ~ Honesty

This Issue's Sex Joke

The Penis Study

In 1997, Harvard funded a study to see why the head of a penis was bigger than the rest of it. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the U.S. published the study, Sweden decided to do their own. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Women & Sexual Empowerment
         Superficial Sexual Attraction Vs. The Real Deal

Repression & The Superficial For centuries women have often been taught to repress their sexuality. Even today we still have people using derogatory terms for a woman who embraces her sexuality and her sensual nature. There are still people who believe that women are not meant to enjoy sex and are to focus on the pleasure of a male partner. We are slowly coming around, yet it seems in a rather superficial manner. Most of the focus of a woman's sexuality today is about her appearance.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

This is far from a woman's most powerful part of her sexual nature; and yet we see the pendulum swing between repression of our sexuality to a superficial focus on it.

All women have a beautiful, sensual goddess that longs to feel the psychological freedom of being a sexually potent female. Yet, this is often minimized by focus on our physical features and little more.

Frequently in our society women are conditioned to focus on their physical appearance. An underlying reason is to have control over others through sexual attraction and intimidation... by landing a partner and outshining our competition. This is such a primitive approach to sexuality and often confuses the true underlying emotional, mental and spiritual needs of a woman and those she encounters.

Evolved and healthy sexuality is not about having power over others, it is about feeling empowered about ourselves. There is a big difference here and it is unmistakable to those who have experienced it. There is an emancipation of one's spirit and a sense of waking up and realizing that many women are simply acting as sheep in a heard... buying one type of thing after another in the hopes of looking, as Paris Hilton likes to say... "hot."

My hope is that women will shift their focus toward themselves so that they may be more fulfilled and less preoccupied with seeking love and acceptance in self deprecating ways.

This is not to say that taking care of one's self is not healthy or a wonderful thing. I think that it is very important and things that make us feel our best are positive. However, what we do for ourselves should be done out of self love, not low self esteem. Focusing on the need to be better than others, to have power over someone by being physically attractive is such a waste of our time. What do we really achieve?

Anyone can screw someone; it takes a sexually confident woman to unleash her sexuality in a way that empowers herself and others-

Imagine a woman who can enjoy her sexuality and share that enjoyment with her partner. That is a woman who knows wondrous joy and lives life to the fullest.

Imagine a woman who embraces her sensuality; who isn't acting like she is on the red carpet posing for cameras, but is fully involved in sharing herself in conversation with a smile that fills the room.

You know the type of person... when they walk in the room you can't help but feel their presence? The one who has a strong sense of life and is truly present with where they are in that moment.

A woman who loves herself, her sexuality, her sensual nature is a woman who is embracing such an important part of herself. It should be encouraged for women to feel empowered sexually in our society as it makes us more whole.

When a woman represses that part of herself, is repressed by others or becomes fixated on how she looks... there is a sense that a key component is missing in her life. Yet, because most women are so conditioned to focus on repression or superficial aspects, they often don't even know why they feel dissatisfied.

Being A Sexually Empowered Woman

What makes one woman feel sexually empowered can be different from one to the next. However, it begins with asking the question of what make her feel good about herself when she is not focused on what others think of her.

Letting go of messages that it is wrong to masturbate is also a good place to start. There is nothing to feel shame about; it is a beautiful thing to bring yourself pleasure, and there is no wrong way to do it. I have often said that it is important to learn what pleases us through masturbation first so that we can in turn tell our partners what makes us feel good later. Masturbation allows us to take the focus off of what are partner is doing or thinking and turn our attention to what is really important to us. It is a wonderful place to begin learning about what moves us, what makes us feel good, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.

Also doing things that pamper ourselves such as hot bubble baths, meditation, wearing clothes that feel good to the touch and other pleasing behaviors are all ways that we can open ourselves to our creativity, our self love and a healthy sense of our sexuality and life.

It is time to see a new revolution of sexuality in women.. not one of defensiveness, repression or superficial focus, but a revolution that leads us to a more evolved place... a self empowered sexuality that exudes the best of who we can be.

Adult Gifts Our Gift Baskets and kits make wonderful gifts for yourself or someone special!

Sex Tip Vibrators are not just for women. Men can use many vibrators from Masturbation Sleeves to standard vibrators like the Hitachi Magic Wand or Waterdancer. Men can use them to enhance masturbation as well as sexual play to stimulate their nipples, anus, prostate and various parts of the penis.

Lucky Louie
         HBO's New Honeymooners With Sex & The "F" Word

The fact that she plays a nurse and is not aware of her own sexuality does not surprise me much... especially after interviewing OBGYNs for my book The Art of Female Ejaculation who blushed and had a hard time even talking about sexual techniques. Just knowing where the clitoris is located does not make you knowledgeable about what sexually pleases you.

Then her husband talks to his friends about the problem, but she doesn't, which again does not surprise me since women often feel nervous talking about their own sexuality at that level with one another... many women are not your average Sex In The City gabbers about their orgasms.

The show continues as her neighbor across the hall loudly orgasms with her vibrator, which the neighbor’s husband tells Louie about. Then the neighbor and his Louie's wife have a chance to talk about her vibrator, like the one shown in the picture.

However Louie and his wife don’t discuss her sexual needs and he winds up feeling inadequate. The show, while overly stereotypical makes some points worth examining. I just wish they would show how simple discussion and exploration within a marriage can evolve a couple's sex life to new heights.

I suppose it is a sitcom, but wouldn't it be great to see a show that dared to take on such issues without delving into old stereotypes and unresolved marital issues that only leave you feeling like marriage is always so dissatisfying? It does not have to be that way in a sitcom and certainly not in real life!

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Sexual Wisdom
Sex In The News

This section is for sexual current events and news; allowing our web site visitors to hear sex news around the world.

Net Neutrality Still Needs Work

June 2006

Senate Commerce Committee Chairman Ted Stevens (R-AK) has modified his version of the proposed telecom legislation so that it includes additional protections for net neutrality, and has added a new section called “Internet Consumer Bill of Rights Act,” which provides, among other things, that Internet Service Providers shall allow subscribers to access and post any lawful content of their choosing; access any website of their choosing and run any software, application or hardware of their choosing without interference from ISPs, except as required by law.

However, the revisions do not deal with the issue of non-discrimination in pricing and may not satisfy the net neutrality advocates. "The new bill does nothing to prevent the network operators from creating a two-tiered, pay-to-play Internet and does nothing to protect American Internet users and small businesses from discrimination at the hands of the network operators,” said the SaveTheInternet.com Coalition.

Library Stands Up For Freedom

June 2006

NAMPA, ID -- The Nampa Public Library Board has decided not to ban “The Joy of Sex” and "The Joy of Gay Sex" from library shelves despite protests by parents and a request from Mayor Tom Dale and the City Council that the board reconsider and find a compromise. However, the board said they would ask staff to put materials about human sexuality on the highest possible shelves and make more passes through the library to pick up discarded books. Opponents of the two books, including parent Randy Jackson, who started the brouhaha by requesting that the books be removed, are not satisfied with the Library Board’s action. However, they may have few options. State law clearly establishes library boards’ independence, said Nampa City Attorney Terry White.

Playboy Buys Club Jenna

June 2006

Playboy Enterprises Inc. bought Club Jenna Inc., a multimedia adult entertainment business founded by adult entertainment star Jenna Jameson, for an undisclosed amount. Club Jenna's assets include a film production business, a video content library, a network of Web sites and a DVD retail distribution deal. I

"This acquisition will allow us to diversify our content offerings in the domestic TV business, while, on the online side, expand their existing properties through our network of sites," she said in a statement.

Adult Website Operator Faces Charges

June 2006

A woman who operates a fetish adult Web site is facing criminal charges of promoting prostitution and violating local zoning regulations by operating a business in a residential area.

Michelle Silva, 44, posted $30,000 bond and is scheduled to appear in Superior Court on June 27, 2006 according to the Hartford Courant. Silva said she was surprised at the charges and that she will seek a trial to prove her innocence.

Enfield Police Chief Carl J. Sferrazza said Police began investigating Silva in January 2005 when they received an anonymous letter from someone Silva suspects was a competitor to her Web business. Police officers had searched her home on Nov. 16, seizing a number of fetish toys and other items along with seven computers.

The chief said she is facing multiple counts of promoting prostitution and of zoning violations. He would not elaborate on the charges. Although her Web site is still online, Silva said she doesn’t produce videos anymore due to her legal troubles.

Silva told the newspaper that she produced all the bondage and domination videos at home except for one which was made in Arizona. She added that all the models were paid.

Group Wants Men to Avoid Porn

June 2006

A conservative group, dubbed The Defenders, is asking men to avoid pornography and join them in a crusade against it. Led by Henry Rogers, who is one of the group’s founders, the organization is asking men to “defend themselves, each other and our homes and children from the harms of the commercial sex industry.”

The recently founded group plans to advertise its campaign through a series of advertising spots on a number of cable networks targeting men ages 25 to 55. Former US Rep. Linda Smith, who developed the ad campaign and heads the Shared Hope International religious group, said she aims to show men that porn exploits children.

So basically, out of desperation and despite the fact that the legitimate adult industry goes out of their way to make sure no children are exposed to or especially are involved in pornography, the conservatives feel they must lie to people to scare them into not wanting to be stimulated visually by sexuality. Seems like if there is something really wrong with it they could stick with the facts.

Estranged Wife of Paul McCartney has Sexy Past

June 2006

Paul McCartney new ex-wife, Heather Mills, has been exposed for posing nude in sexual scenarios for a better sex book. Journalists recently got hold of the book titled “Die Freuden der Lieber” (“The Joy of Love”) published in Germany in 1988. One hundred and twelve pages of the picture book are nothing but a guide to sex.

Playing with sex toys, strip poker or having sex in front of a mirror are reportedly some of the racy photos in the book. Mills is the central character in this German version of the “Kama Sutra.” She was 20 years old upon posing for it.

Mills is seen in several sexual positions in the book, including having sex in the shower with a curly-headed porn actor, lying on the couch handcuffed, having sex with oil rubbed all over their bodies, with a whip, wearing edible underwear and more.

Lisa's View- Shame On The Press Not Heather Mills

Professional journalists looking to sensationalize this whole thing are calling her filthy, saying she has little dignity and should be ashamed. She is basically getting a verbal "Stoning" for her nude pictures. This is a modern day witch hunt and for what? Nudity and sexuality! What I find so hypocritical of the press is that many of them are posting her pictures as they put in big print words like shame, dirty, filthy, etc. Yet, they are publishing the pictures, if they think they are so shameful, why are they showing them?

Now, they might try and say that it is to show you what a terrible person she is for posing nude in such explicit poses, but we all know that it would only take one or two pictures to demonstrate that... yet, many are publishing a whole book's worth of pictures with links to click on so that you can see more and enlarge them to get a better look! Frankly, it is because they know that healthy, normal people are intrigued by sexuality and they capitalize on that while trying to say that she was wrong for doing it. Can we say calling the kettle black? Shame on the press for verbally attacking her while they themselves are unethical.

Frankly, who should care? She was single, and is perfectly within her right to be a sexual woman. Tossing her off as a harlot for this, is exactly why our society needs a good kick in the rear end for shaming people about being sexually expressive.

Was she involved in child porn? No.

Was she involved in anything illegal in the book? No.

Then why the upset? Why the drama?

Women are allowed to express their sexuality in more ways then being the submissive girl next door. We are just like men in that we have sexual desires including to be seen and appreciated for them. It does not cause anyone harm to know that someone is comfortable with their sexuality, their body and enjoys sex. Pictures that represent this are not an unhealthy expression of sexuality.

What is unhealthy are the nitwits that walk around pretending that sexuality is not a natural part of who we are. It's time to grow up and be honest with ourselves about who we are and our true natures. We are beautiful, sexual beings that deserve to embrace all of who we are, not just the parts that other people seem to think is all right based on fear based, outdated repressed attitudes.

Condoms Reduce Cervical Cancer Risk

June 2006

A new study by the New England Journal of Medicine says that condoms reduce the risk of cervical cancer in sexually active women.

HPV, which infects about half of all sexually active adults, is usually harmless. But is also known to cause the growth of abnormal cells in a woman’s cervix which can then become cancerous. Early detection through pap smears have been key to its high survival rates for those infected.

Researchers cautioned that HPV causes genital warts and has no cure, thus any treatment is meant to reduce such outbreaks. HPV is transmitted by skin-to-skin contact with an infected person and is usually from vaginal, oral or anal sexual contact, whether or not genital warts are present.

Thank You For Reading
The Holistic Wisdom Journal

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