~
The Christian Right Says You Can't Use Birth Control
~
Bill Maher Is Getting Sued For Alleged Assault
& Not Marrying His Girlfriend
~
Naked Man Jumps Onto Moving Jet
~
Pop Star Wants Court To See Her Sex Tapes
~
A Future For Male Contraception
~
Vaccine For Cervical Cancer Looks Effective
~
Safe Sex Phone Messages For Teens
~
HIV Discrimination For The Black Community
~
Botox For Her Vagina?
~
Children Want To Learn About Sperm Donor
~
Men Drop Drawers For Charity
Quote
of the Week-
Ann
Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have
sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek
professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The
only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I
seek professional help.
-Jay
Leno
Sex
Joke of the Week-
There's
a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many
men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
-Dustin Hoffman
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Kinsey:
The Movie, The Man The
Sexual Research That Rocked The World
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
Starring
Liam Neeson and Laura Linney
Director:
Bill
Condon
Opening Date:
November 12, 2004
Rated: R
For
those of you who don't already know, the new movie Kinsey
is now in theaters portraying the life of sexologist Professor
Alfred Kinsey.
Alfred
Kinsey was a zoologist turned sexpert who published
two major studies- "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" in 1948
and "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" in 1953. To this day
they are still considered by some to be the foundation of human
sexuality research.
There
are those of course that are outraged that a movie about Kinsey
has been made, but I wanted to provide a more insightful look
into the film for those who wish to see it.
Having
studied Kinsey myself, I felt that the historical accuracy of
him was well done. I believe that it does encapsulate the true
life of Kinsey.
In
addition, I feel that this movie is not only entertaining, but
it will assist the viewer in better understanding the evolution
of our sexual enlightenment in our society and how Kinsey's
work impacts our lives to this day.
I
think it is shocking to watch it and remember that it was not
that long ago that we were rather ignorant when it came to sexual
matters. The pioneering efforts of people like Kinsey and Masters
& Johnson whose work we base much of our research on today
has allowed us to better understand our bodies and sexuality.
Not
to say that many people today aren't still misinformed about
their sexuality from crazy notions of douching with Coca Cola
after sex as a birth control method to the sheer insanity of
penis enlargement products that don't work and aren't typically
safe.
But
to recall when people thought that masturbation was unhealthy
or that oral sex on a woman would cause infertility is quite
humorous and sad. If it weren't for sexual pioneers like Kinsey,
we would probably still think these things.
While
they are funny to think about, I say they are sad because I
don't think many people really think about the mental anguish
people have gone through when it comes to embracing their sexuality
and still continue to. I should know, I get hundreds of eMails
everyday with stories from individuals and couples pouring out
their hearts about the worry, shame, and loss of self esteem
and relationships that come from sexual ignorance and repression.
It is a rather good reason for a film like this to have been
made and I hope to see more like it!
Because
Kinsey was originally trained as a zoologist, he made no moral
judgments on those that he interviewed and that is why is study
was profoundly accurate at the time. Kinsey based his work on
interviews with 5,300 white men and 5,940 white women. These
interviews serve as the foundation for his published works.
Each interview comprised up to 521 questions that touched on
anything and everything sexual including bestiality, pedophilia,
extramarital sexuality, homosexual tendencies, masturbation,
and penis size.
As
a result of these interviews, Kinsey promoted a seven-point
scale of normal human sexuality, with bisexuality the most "balanced"
state. Kinsey said that 37 percent of adult males had had at
least one homosexual experience. Critics of Kinsey insist that
Kinsey was the originator of the homosexual movement, when in
reality he simply brought attention to the truth about it.
The
most controversy surrounding his research and his one greatest
mistakes in my opinion was when he once incorrectly used data
from prisoners, prostitutes, pedophiles, and other sexually
promiscuous people to explain the behavior of all Americans.
This is one of the main reasons that abstinence supporters are
planning to protest the movie.
When
his books were first published, many critics immediately ridiculed
his methods. Many did not believe the people interviewed were
telling the truth or they called his work obscene. What
is sad is that many of his extreme critics try to tear down
his work by making up a lot of "what ifs" as their
arguments against his information. I mean what moron bases a
review on presumptions rather than fact. I will tell you who,
those who are terrified of their own sexuality.
We
seem to be going into a time of sexual repression again with
the Christian Right (which is in my onion... is neither) who
often advocate fear and shame based attitudes and laws against
sexuality. The truth is that we need to learn about our sexuality
for so many reasons. To help us prevent disease, improve self
esteem, improve relationships, and to understand how our bodies
work to name a few.
Kinsey is
by no means to be held high by people as the greatest researcher
of sexuality as he was human and I believe like all of us had
room for improvement. What I will say is that his pioneering
efforts should be celebrated and this movie does that well.
Kinsey
did have a way about him that allowed people to be relaxed and
so perhaps it was not that people were dishonest in their replies,
but rather more honest then ever before. Perhaps the truth was
disturbing to his critics rather than inaccurate.
The best message that the movie and the man makes is that knowledge
is power. Dr. Ruth said of the movie
"I think we have to be grateful to Kinsey because 50 years ago,
he was willing to talk about a subject matter that was really
taboo,"
Laura
Berman, PhD, LCSW
Clinical
assistant professor of obstetrics-gynecology and psychiatry
at the Feinberg School of Medicine of Northwestern University
in Chicago, and director of the Berman Center in Chicago
Laura
Berman, PhD, LCSW said this of Kinsey "He set the foundation
for taking human sexuality out of the realm of morality." Before
his work, "the only discussion was what sex should be or is
supposed to be, not what actually happened." In a nutshell,
Kinsey said there was a wide gap between what people thought
was normal and what they actually did in the privacy of their
own bedrooms.
So much sexuality research is going on now, she says. "One of
the goals that I have that is similar to Kinsey is to demystify
elements of sexuality as well as to remove taboos and misunderstandings
around sexuality."
Berman is currently working on a national study of women looking
at the health and sexual benefits of sexual
aids and devices. "We want to get the conversation started
that this is not dirty and embarrassing and that 30 percent
of women are using these devices," she says. According
to her work, women who use such aids report higher levels of
sexual function and overall quality of life.
Ultimately,
this is the meaning and legacy of Kinsey - the person and the
movie. The 'religious right' is probably going to be very upset
about Kinsey. They may traipse out a lot of old, unproven rumors
about how Kinsey obtained his information regarding childhood
sexuality. They will probably claim that Kinsey used information
from shady characters, criminals, Nazis, pedophiles, or other
unsavory people. The truth of the matter is that, as a scientist,
Kinsey was willing to accept written and oral data from anyone
willing to reveal that private aspect of their lives.
What
Kinsey did was point out that we need to learn about our sexuality
from an open state of mind, by using science and not moral judgment
which can only cloud the truth about what people really think,
feel and experience.
In addition to the new film on Kinsey, his work is also the
basis of a new fictionalized novel by T.C. Boyle called "The
Inner Circle," a musical that is Broadway-bound, and two television
documentaries.
We
hope that this movie and other work will inspire people to think
about sexuality in terms of it's reality... the beautiful, complex
and sometimes challenging part of who we are. We should embrace
all that it is just as we should embrace all of who we are,
for without all the pieces of the puzzle we will never be fully
able to see it for what it is, what it is not and for the beauty
that it's positive and negative influence create in us.
Advanced
Fellatio Instruction
Read
and see much more through The Art of Fellatio Manual available
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See
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Positions
Techniques
Instruction
Media
Basic
& Best
68 1/2
69
Face Fucking
On Your Knees
On The Side
Visual Importance
Stage Fright
The Exhibitionist
Deep
Throat
Gagging Remedy
Using
Teeth
Kisses & Tongue
Do The Twist
Shirley Temple Licks
Head, Shaft & Scrotum
Grabbing His Behind
Making Him Tight
Hand Job Combo
Vacuum
Double Penetration
Teeth Guards
Thigh Highs
Hummers
The Harmonica
The Drum
Hot & Cold
Women's Lubricant
Hands On Your Head
Adore The Cock
Penis Anatomy
Messes
Orgasms
Perineum Love
Anal Love
Nipple Love
Mouth Love
Fatigue Warning
Health Concerns
STD Prevention
Hygiene
Tips For Receiver
Clean Up
Post Etiquette
Toys & Products
Fellatio In Water
FREE
Pictures- A variety of close ups from
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FREE Video- Approximately 8 minutes of various personal
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The video clips are for entertainment and do not contain
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This
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Remember
when you were first smitten and all you could think about was
ripping each other's clothes off and going at it? Your pent-up
passion made you totally focused on sex, didn't it? We sure
hope that this still happens to you frequently, as it does for
us after eight years together.
It's
just a too-common experience of many couples that the early
explosive fire dies down as time together wears on. Your passion
fades, sex becomes routine, and you have less drive to jump
in the sack together.
Re-igniting
The Fires Of Passionate Love & Unbridled Lust
Maybe
this doesn't apply to you. But to those of us who're aging,
we just can't take the basic realities of sexual turn-on for
granted anymore. Erections aren't as reliable, lubrication doesn't
always come naturally, turn-on and orgasms can't be depended
on like they used to.
The
standard rap from sex therapists and manuals is that you just
need more foreplay. To be sure, in Tantra we make all kinds
of loveplay more exciting. But you still have to want to play.
And your motor has to rev up when you do.
It's easier when your raging hormones dictate when you make
love. As the forces of lust subside inside, you need to make
a conscious choice to keep your sex life alive. You realize
that without the continuing coming together, you're putting
your entire relationship at risk, don't you?
The
Secret Of Combating Waning Desire
Here's
a powerful tip to combat waning desire: focus. That means, when
you choose, putting all your attention on your bodies, your
sensations, and your pleasure.
When
lovers describe their heights of orgasm, they so often explain
that it seems that the rest of world disappears as they become
totally consumed with the pleasure surging between them. It's
clear that such intense concentration heightens the ecstasy.
In fact, total focus may be one the main reasons why orgasm
feels so good.
You
know that if your mind is elsewhere, you won't enjoy sex as
much. You may have seen our comments about the pinnacle of Tantric
Sex resembling sexual meditation. If you have a meditation practice,
it can greatly enhance your sexual experience if you bring that
inner stillness and mental quiet into your loveplay.
That's
why you'll find various meditation techniques in each of our
eBooks. The simple version of meditation is sit still, don't
try to think or do anything, and watch your breath moving in
and out. Or in the case of sexual meditation, concentrate on
the sensations coursing through your body.
How
To Focus Your Focus On Passion
How
do you enhance and use focus to stimulate your passion? The
two suggestions we include here are to remove distractions and
stimulate your senses.
A
vital part of Tantric Sex is to make your lovemaking arena beautiful,
sensual, and enticing. We call it a sacred space, because the
location of our lovemaking is something we hold dear to our
hearts.
Creating
a sacred space certainly means cleaning up your dirty laundry
and putting away things that are distracting. It means dimming
the lights, bringing in fresh flowers, lighting candles, changing
the sheets, spreading a beautiful sarong on the bed.
Don't
we all have images of the exotic harem where the sultan's wives
live? Silks and satins, soft candlelight, erotic background
music, subtle incense. Why not use these images in your mind
to decorate your bedroom erotically? Of course, you can do this
consciously anywhere you choose. For a special afternoon or
evening, we lay out futons in the living room in front of our
fireplace.
The
act of decorating together is a wonderful way to focus your
energy together.
Turnoffs
& Turn-Ons For Maximum Turn-On
Certainly,
turning off the phone and TV is a must. In fact, we don't have
either in our bedroom. It's our temple of love.
But
we do have a high-quality stereo. Advocates of Tantric Sex like
us specialize in all sorts of different kinds of music. Sometimes
we like soft harmonies, sometimes strong primitive beats. But
we rarely play vocals while we're making love. Our job is to
focus our minds on the sensations in our bodies, not on thoughts
and outside images.
With
busy lives full of important activities, timing can be everything.
When can you best focus on what's important? Do you leave sex
as the last thing when you're already tired? Maybe that's not
the best time for you to devote your full attention to exchanging
sensual pleasure.
We
understand that creating a sacred space of sexual focus and
sensual concentration is more challenging when others are around.
If you have young children, you need to work extra hard to maintain
your commitment to the health of your relationship through regular
lovemaking.
What
Is Most Important In Your Life?
Focus
on what's most important is a discipline when your hormones
aren't raging routinely any more. Build on our suggestions here
to maximize attention to your beloved and removing distractions
from your loveplay. If you have to schedule time for love in
your already packed existence, then show you mean it when you
say your relationship is important. Clear the slate before you
begin. Lock the door. Don't answer the phone. Put your eyes
on the most beautiful thing in front of you. Put your mind on
what counts most to your life in the long run. And, yes, guys,
you have to say it. Say "I love you" and mean it. Put your heart
behind it. Gush with all the things you appreciate about each
other. Put your attention on gratitude. Focus on the chemistry
-- the mystical forces -- that brought you together. Celebrate
the spark that still jumps between you. And when you play with
sexual energy, think of nothing else except how great you're
making each other feel.
Ask
Lisa
With
hundreds of eMails coming in every day and while I answer
man, it is not possible for me to reply to all of them.
However, I wanted to provide a section where we take
some of our readers questions and post them on our web
site so that we can provide answers so that everyone
can benefit from having the information available on
our web site.
To submit your question
such as those shown below eMail
us for consideration
of publishing it in our next newsletter.
My wife has a short vaginal length. When we are having
intercourse due to my length and her shortness, I am able
to go far beyond her cervix. My wife is very comfortable
with this and even encourages me to go further. My question
is- Can I do any harm by being internal within that area
of her body?
No
you should not be able to harm her cervix, although you
can chafe or tear her vaginal opening if not enough lubricant
is present.
During
vaginal sex, the penis enters the vagina (the stretchable
passage that connects a woman's outer sex organs- the
vulva) with the cervix and uterus.
The
cervix is the narrow lower part of the uterus, with a
very small opening.
This opening stretches (dilates) during childbirth, but
at other times, it's plugged with mucus and is too small
to allow a penis (or even a finger) to enter. During sexual
arousal, a woman's cervix lifts upward. This allows more
room for the penis to enter the vagina. That is most likely
what you and your wife are experiencing.
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
The
vagina and urethra are separated by a thin layer of spongy
tissues for sexual pleasure. The uterus/cervix are well
protected. Even with a prolapsed uterus and cervix lowering
down to the vaginal entrance, there is no way to penetrate
through the cervix orifice into the prolapsed uterus through
a penis or finger.
I
hope that answers your concerns and that you and your
wife continue to enjoy what sounds like a pleasureful
sex life!
Best,
Lisa
Hi
Lisa,
Do you think that abstinence only sex ed is effective?
-Mary
Hi
Mary,
I
know it doesn't. Recently there was an article by Planned
Parenthood that I thought answers this question perfectly...
Abstinence-Only
Education Flunks
by
Lisa Stokes
Abstinence-only
education — or ignorance-only education, as it has come
to be known — has little, and in some cases, no impact
on students' sexual behavior. That was the result of a
study conducted by the Minnesota Department of Health
(MDH). The study, typical of many others on the subject,
examined the impact of the state's abstinence-only sexuality
education curricula, known as ENABL.
The
study evaluated program activities; interviewed parents
in funded and non-funded counties, student participants,
target groups, and community groups; and studied secondary
data, such as abstinence rates and risk and protective
behaviors.
The
evaluator recommended that future sexuality education
methods use abstinence-based curricula that include information
about abstinence as well as other ways to prevent pregnancy
and sexually transmitted infections. The study also called
for longer-term projects that focused primarily on at-risk
students.
The
vast majority (77 percent) of parents in the funded counties
told researchers that they believed it was important to
both promote abstinence and teach about contraception,
findings that mirror federal survey results. The study
concludes, "The abstinence message is critically important
but is insufficient."
The
researchers also noted that the falling U.S. Teen pregnancy
rates are attributed to both increased access to and use
of contraceptives by teens (75 percent) and teens choosing
abstinence (25 percent).
Planned
Parenthood affiliates nationwide play a key role in preventing
teen pregnancy. Planned Parenthood of Minnesota/ South
Dakota (PPMSD), for example, provides teens and their
families with comprehensive reproductive health education
and services. PPMSD's professional and teen educators
work with community members through parent-child workshops,
after-school programs, and job preparation and peer education
programs to teach parents and teens about abstinence,
other methods of pregnancy prevention, and prevention
of sexually transmitted infections.
Lisa
Stokes is an affiliate resource representative, PPFA Affiliate
Leadership and Development.
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When my hubby and I first began dating and I was planning
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For
A VERY Happy Holiday!
Holistic
Wisdom
Readers
Forum
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section allows our readers to provide feedback regarding
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from our readers is with their permission. Opinions
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