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Sex
Jokes of the Week-
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A
man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the
clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front
desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside
him and as he does, his elbow goes into her
breast. They are both quite startled. The man
turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart
is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive
me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard
as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
A
woman walked into the pharmacy and asked for
a vibrator. The pharmacist gestured with his
index finger and said, "Come this way." The
woman replied, "If I could come that way, I
wouldn't need a bloody vibrator."
Things
That Sound Dirty at the Office but Aren't:
I need to whip it out by 5.
Just stick it in my box.
If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!
HMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid!
My equipment is so old, it takes forever to
finish.
It's an entry-level position.
When do you think you'll be getting off today?
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New
Video Cover
Due
to the potential increases in adult video requirements regarding
the Title 18 Law, we have updated our video cover to ensure
that we are abiding by the strictest of regulations.
Therefore
we have changed our video cover front and back. To view
a larger image of the changes made you can take a peek
at the new version.
A
Quick
Guide
To Cunnilingus
The
Art of Female Oral Sex
by
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
Holistic
Wisdom Founder
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
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The
key to performing good oral sex as with any sexual experience
is to communicate with your partner. I don't just mean that
the person performing it should be the responsible party
in doing all the checking in about what feels good, what
she likes and does not enjoy, because it is just as much
the receiver's responsibility to communicate that information
as well so get to chatting!
Making
pillow talk before and after sexual experiences are always
good times to delve into this information. These are times
when couples can not only use the information for instruction
but use such discussions to flirt with one another.
Preparation
Cleaning
up before hand is always a good idea, and this applies to
both the receiver and giver. Here are some quick tips for
both-
Clean
Your Hands
You will want to wash hands well to make sure that you do
not introduce harmful bacteria into the vagina or introduce
it into the urethra. This applies to both the giver and
receiver as often women will play with themselves while
receiving oral stimulation and they too should have clean
hands.
Avoiding
A Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)
Unfortunately, there can be some negative side affects to
making contact with the urethra. The urethra is sensitive
and is easily irritated. It is fairly easy to expose the
urethra to bacteria that is harmful and thus often results
in a UTI. The activity that can cause a UTI can be sexual
or non sexual.
Any
sexual activity that makes contact with the urethra whether
it is from fingers, a sex toy, the mouth, the penis, etc.
can result in painful urination and infection. To help prevent
infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman
should drink lots of water and urinate just before and right
after urethral stimulation. Taking
precautions such as washing whatever is going to come into
contact with the urethra beforehand may assist in preventing
such an infection. If an infection occurs it is easily treated
with antibiotics. If left untreated the infection can become
more serious and spread into the kidneys.
Shorten
Finger Nails
Trim fingernails, so as to not cause pain or tears.
Atmosphere
Creating a relaxing atmosphere can also include doing
some sensual foreplay. Get into the mood doing such activities
as: massage, using sweet or spiced body lotions or oils,
soft kissing, a bubble bath, and many other creative ventures.
Cleaning
Your Anus
While you may not be thinking about it now, women who are
going to receive cunnilingus should clean their anus as
well as the vaginal opening. This is because the vagina
and anus are extremely close together and sexual activity
can easily bring harmful bacteria to enter the urethra causing
an infection.
Try
to clean your anus thoroughly with hot, soapy water before
any anal activities. A great alternative are baby wipes,
in fact, a strippers technique, many people use them instead
of toilet paper for clean up after any bowel movement.
Psychological
Issues For A Woman
There
are many women who love the beauty of their vaginas from
the way they look to the way the smell, however many women
also feel negatively about their "love flowers."
If you
are with a woman and planning on performing oral sex on
her she may need reassurance that her genitals are beautiful,
unique and a real turn on for you. Sex will be more pleasurable
for her if she is relaxed and feels you are turned on by
what you are doing.
For
those of you receiving a lapping of your labia, let me assure
you that all women get self conscious of their vaginal area
once in a while. Just like men worry about how big their
penis is; women worry about how tight they are. We also
worry about whether our partner would prefer us shaved or
au natural and finally the biggest concern for most women
is the smell factor.
Now,
there are many who would like to assure you that you should
just accept when you aren't your freshest and so should
your partner, but honey, I can assure you that washing up
before hand if you are experiencing bad odor will make the
experience better for all involved. If it is really bad
and has been going on for a few weeks even after washing
you may have an infection and it is time for a trip to your
OBGYN.
ALL
women's vaginal scent will change during different times
of the month... it is normal and natural. However, if your
arm pit was having an "off" day you would use
some common sense and shower using soap and maybe even use
some deodorant. Same applies to your downstairs "girl
flower." Avoid the use of feminine deodorant sprays
and other perfumed products if they irritate and dry your
skin.
Psychological
Issues For A Man
There
are in some cultures a stigma that men who perform oral
sex on a woman are less macho for doing so. My advice...
get over it. There is nothing about a man going down on
a woman that makes him less masculine... in fact most women
will tell you that we find that VERY sexy.
The
other issues for men is that they are concerned about performance)
which hopefully this article will assist with) and again...
the infamous smell factor. This is no different than a woman
going down on a man who had not kept his hygiene up and
gets a strong whiff of "ball rot." We all need
to to take care of ourselves and for those men who find
themselves with a woman who isn't... try taking an erotic
shower with her, where you wash her as part of the foreplay.
Either that or have her read an article like this one so
she can begin to think about that factor for you!
A question
I get asked often is about female ejaculation and whether
or not it is safe to consume. The answer to that is yes,
it is safe as long as you recognize that the risk factors
for STDs
is the same as your ejaculate so if practicing safe
sex is of concern, please take that into consideration and
use a dental dam.
Negative
Attitude-
Imagine
your woman lying on the bed. You pull her panties down as
though you are trying to just get down to business. You
open your mouth and begin methodically licking, going up
and down with no variation, no passion and secretly, you
just can't wait for this to be done. Then when she does
orgasm, you demand your turn or get on with the mandatory
cuddling you feel you have to do to appease her.
Positive
Attitude-
Imagine
your woman lying on the bed. You come in slowly from her
ankles smiling at her while keeping eye contact. You teasingly
strip the clothes off her entire body looking her over as
though you can hardly contain yourself, while licking and
rubbing her everywhere you touch. You slide your body against
her, then downward now so your genitals are positioned over
her knee while you toy with her inner thigh and pubic area.
You run your fingers through her pubic hair and over her
mound. Slowly you lick the outer lips of her vagina softly
while gazing into her eyes showing your desire. Pulling
her lips softly apart with your fingers you take some warming,
flavored lubricant and run it up and down her opening and
over her clit like pouring hot chocolate syrup onto a sundae
you are about to devour. Licking her inner lips lightly
and then sucking softly on them you move your finger up
and down her now slickened pussy and use the other hand
to keep her lips spread open as you slide your tongue deeper
and deeper into her. You progress to teasing her clit with
your tongue while you grind your genitals against her leg
and finger her g-spot. Then
after a variety of tantalizing techniques you eagerly await
her orgasm letting her cum moisten your lips and face.
Are
you seeing a difference here? Even if you decide to give
a "Quickie," your attitude will allow you to be
the best she's ever had. Women, just like men, want to feel
desired, so to make her feel like orally pleasuring her
is repulsive to you is certainly a "blow" to her
ego. Show her that you desire her no matter what sexual
activity you do and you will really make it fantastic.
Safe
Oral Sex
There
is a wide range of STDs you can get from sexual activity.
At present there is some debate about genital warts developing
in the digestive track and there is always the fear of HIV/AIDS
infection. Always think…SAFE SEX.
Dental
dams are often used in sexual situations to prevent sexually
transmitted disease for cunnilingus (oral contact with female
genitals) and analingus (oral/anal contact). They are six-inch
squares of latex and were first used by oral surgeons. This
is the best protection to prevent genital herpes infecting
your lips, or a systemic yeast infection.
Dental dams are used by those who want to practice safer
sex techniques by placing them between your tongue and your
lovers labia or anus. For those of you who are too embarrassed
to purchase one on-line or in a store, you can always purchase
a latex glove and make your own.
Oral
Sex Techniques
First
we are going to cover the general aspects of cunnilingus
(oral sex on a female) and then we will muff dive into specifics.
To begin,
the picture to the right is of the outside of the vagina.
Often those performing oral sex ignore the outter lips and
forget that licking them, massaging them or both can be
a great way to stimulate and ready her for the sexual adventure
about to unfold.
Using
your tongue, fingers, face and sex toys are all ways to
begin playing with her beautiful oyster of love.
Use
Your Words To Seduce
These
are the moments when you really can feel some tension if
there is going to be any... a good way to break the ice
before you open her up to play is to tell her how good she
looks, smells and tastes.
General
Tips
The
main physical problems that women experience during oral
sex when trying to climax are either that they don't feel
that you are continuing to focus on the right area long
enough to get them there and need you to do something repetitively,
or on the contrary they feel over stimulated and are experiencing
numbness and need more variation. Sounds a bit conflicting,
I know... but this is what I mean-
Too
Much Vs. Too Little Of A Good Thing...
If you
find that she is really enjoying the grand variety of techniques
you are applying you are certainly going in the right direction.
However, if you have been changing them over a long time
and she is no where close to an orgasm or she seems like
she keeps getting close but can't get there; it may be because
whatever technique you were doing to get her to orgasm is
changing right when she feels she is going to climax and
thus it causes the climax to slip away before she can reach
it. Watch her breathing and verbal moans for cues as to
whether she is about to orgasm. If she begins to build,
stay the course and give her a chance to peak before you
go to something different. Couples can agree that she help
verbally when she is about to orgasm to let the performer
know what to keep doing.
On the
other hand, if you have been doing the same technique for
a while and she seems really stimulated by it but just can't
seem to climax, it may be from over stimulation. If too
much stimulation has been applied to the clitoris then she
may find it becoming somewhat numb. She will have a very
hard time climaxing even though what you are doing feels
really good. A great way to help her along is to alternate
by focusing on stimulating her via her g-spot if you have
been stimulating the clitoris for too long. The tongue,
while valiant in it's efforts will not be able to do this
effectively, so you will need to get into fingering techniques,
which I will cover shortly. Alternating between the clit
and g-spot or stimulating them simultaneously is a often
a highly effective way to bring pleasure.
Let
Her Show You
Learn
What She Prefers Clitorally
When
a woman uses a clitoral vibrator (the tool we recommend
to give any woman an orgasm quickly) she will often move
it around in the beginning to get herself worked up and
then hold it in the same place for intensity when she is
ready to orgasm.
All
women are different as to what they enjoy the best from
how long they like it to what side of the clitoris they
prefer you stimulate so a great way to learn what she likes
beyond her telling you, is to have her use a small vibrator
in front of you (like the Waterdancer)
and see what her tendencies are when it comes to pleasure.
Learn
What She Prefers Vaginally
When
a woman uses a dildo (vibrating, rotating, or still) she
can show you if she likes fast, slow, varied thrusting,
and if she wants to feel stretched or simply have a lot
of pressure against her g-spot. These things are a great
way to learn what she will like from your tongue, finger,
penis or sex toy for later play.
I suggest
this exercise of observation as she may not even be aware
of what she is doing to get off... she may just know what
feels good and not know how to verbalize it!
Once
you Begin It Does Not Have To Be All Oral
Those
that get caught up in the need to do things text book style
may miss out on the creativity of sexuality. Just as one
should not simply use only their mouth when giving
oral sex to a man (Fellatio)
a partner giving cunnilingus should not feel that once they
begin licking they have to stay the course until she orgasms.
For
those of you who know, doing anything orally can be exhausting.
Having a plan to use your hands, another body part or a
sex toy is a great way to give your tired mouth and jaw
a break until you resume or an opportunity to move into
something completely different!
The
Clitoral Orgasm
This
orgasm occurs at the peak of clitoral stimulation. It begins
with intense sexual excitement within the clit and then
as the orgasm peaks it surges waves of pleasure throughout
the body.
The
clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body and
sexual arousal is always felt in the clitoris no matter
where the orgasm takes place. It is usually that the sexual
arousal first originates in the clit, and is considered
an orgasmic starting point.
What
Is The Clitoris And Where Is It?
The
clitoral hood is formed by the connection of the inner vaginal
lips. This small hood covers the clitoris in much the same
manner as a foreskin covers a penis. When you pull the hood
back you can see that the clit is USUALLY about the size
of a pencil eraser, however the size does vary from woman
to woman, much the same way penis size varies from man to
man.
The
clitoris is abundantly supplied with nerves. The part of
the clitoris that you see is actually much like the head
of a man's penis, and as a man has a shaft to his penis,
a woman has a shaft to her clitoris. The shaft is located
above the hood, and is more easily felt when a woman is
aroused as it become more rigid as it fills with blood.
What
Does It Feel Like?
Clitoral
orgasms can be very intense, but may not be as "deep" as
others. These orgasms are no doubt very, very pleasureful
and helpful in achieving female ejaculation. Stimulating
the clitoris can be a very good place to start when trying
to achieve female ejaculation, after providing stimulation
to the g-spot.
A
Reminder- Remember that after an orgasm the clit can retract,
and becomes highly sensitive to any further stimulation,
often to the point of being painful.
Fingering
The Clitoris While Licking It
A
woman's lover will want to respect that the clitoris is
the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Rough rubbing
or licking directly on it (especially with rough skin or
too much vigor) is not usually the ideal. Another area that
is often misunderstood, is that most women want to have
constant, repetitive motion to one or both sides of her
clit. Many women have a favorite side, so it is always good
to ask which side your baby likes, or if you are the receiver
of such divine fun, to tell your lover. Communication is
always key during GOOD sex.
Variation
of speed and moving all around the clit is not often preferred.
Most women need a constant, repetitive, stimulation with
little to no variation just as a vibrator would offer. That
is one reason why women love those beautiful toys so much
and why they are great to use on her clit while you orally
stimulate her vaginal lips and inside!
Pulling
back the hood-
This is going to depend on a woman's clitoral sensitivity
and how aroused she is. The more aroused a woman is, the
more she may want or not want her clitoris directly stimulated.
For
those woman who are particularly sensitive, pulling back
the hood and receiving direct clitoral stimulation is not
going to be a pleasureful experience.
If
a woman likes her hood pulled back, the best way to do so
is by spreading her lips apart, or pulling up on the mons.
Range
Of Motion-
When women masturbate, they often rotate around their
clit in a circular motion, while other women prefer a side-to-side
or up and down motion. Another technique is rolling the
clitoris with the thumb and pointer finger. This should
be done gently.
The
G-Spot Orgasm
This
orgasm may begin at the g-spot and stay focused there throughout
the building and final release of the orgasm, or may expand
throughout the body. This orgasm is demonstrated when the
g-spot is stimulated and becomes "puffy" and swollen as
the tissue surrounding the female Parurethral/Skenes glands
fill with blood during sexual arousal. This results in the
tissue becoming firm to the touch.
You
will not be able to achieve this orgasm with oral stimulation
by itself even if your tongue is as long as Gene Simmons
of KISS. You will be able to through fingering
her, or using a sex toy on her while you orally stimulate
her clitorally or anally and is why we mention it.
What Does It Feel Like?
Like
the vaginal orgasm, this usually takes longer to build.
Because the g-spot is not stimulated as much by friction
as much as pressure, using a rhythmic pushing against the
g-spot is more pleasureful than light rubbing.
Most
women describe this type of orgasm as an intense, deeply
sensual pressure that builds until it feels like the entire
vaginal explodes with ecstasy and is usually followed by
euphoric energy that spreads throughout entire body. This
orgasm, like the vaginal orgasm can release an emotional
response as it provides women with a sense of being penetrated
more than just physically, but also in a more emotionally
vulnerable sense.
Spread
the labia, touch the clitoris very gently. You can feel
it become erect and lubrication will be noticeable. You
can also stroke around the vaginal opening and very gently
penetrate the vagina with your fingers, making sure that
this is pleasurable for her. For oral contact, licking,
sucking, kissing and gently blowing on the clitoris is pleasurable.
Just remember, be very gentle. At the same time you may
wish to stroke around the vaginal opening, mimicking thrusting
of the penis. You may wish to use a vibrator or dildo around
the vagina or anal area. Talk to your partner. Many females
will reach orgasm with oral genital sexual contact. To be
most effective, check with her so you know what really is
pleasurable and satisfying.
You
may also want to note that women can have much longer orgasms
than men and can experience waves of orgasms that last several
minutes. Let her enjoy herself and continue to stimulate
her until she lets you know you can stop.
Tracing
The Alphabet?
Sam
Kinison |
An infamous
oral sex technique was created by the former comedian Sam
Kinison (who always made me laugh) as he spoke of licking
the alphabet during his comedy routine. Certainly you can
try tracing the letters of the alphabet across her lips,
vaginal opening and clitoris, however this is most likely
NOT going to bring her to orgasm but simply arouse her from
being licked in a variety of places vaginally. Sorry Sam
fans... not his best material.
Flavored
Lubricants & Condiments
Try
lathering her pussy with honey or syrup and licking it off.
However, do try to use sparingly as too much sugar into
the vagina can induce a yeast infection. She will need to
make sure she rinses herself out afterward. Another reason
to have a detachable/handheld shower head for effective
cleansing.
I
know that many lubricants out there really do not taste
very good, so let me share my favorite brand and flavors...
Forplay Lubricant:
Vanilla, Watermelon and Blueberry.
Using
a lubricant is always welcome, as no matter how excited
and wet a woman gets, that moisture is easily taken away
and rubbed onto the fingers and hand leaving her feeling
a bit tender.
Temperature
Take
a mouthful of hot or cold liquid and then lick her while
your tongue is super heated or ice cold for a variety in
sensations.
Sex
Toys
For
Oral
Sex
Take
her vibrator or buy her one and put it gently into her vagina
as you lick her. Use the vibrator in conjunction with your
tongue - a bit of licking, followed by a bit of buzzing
can create a wonderful sensation.
With
so many sex toys available, I have put together a list of
the sex toys that we recommend for use during oral sex to
achieve both clitoral and/or g-spot orgasms.
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The
Rabbit Habit
This
is better than the ever popular Rabbit Pearl because
it is cordless. I really love this dildo/vibrator
because it cradles your clit while it stimulates your
g-spot. It is also bendable, rotates and vibrates
and is one of our best sellers as well as a toy many
of our customers have told me they love.
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Smaller
Vibrators
Pocket Rockets and other smaller
vibrators for clitoral and other external vibration
stimulation.
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G-spot
Curved vibrators designed for internal penetration
that targets and stimulates a woman's g-spot or man's
prostate.
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Balls
& Beads
Vibrating bullets and other tiny vibrators for clitoral
stimulation and prostate or g-spot massage.
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Anal
Smaller,
pyramid-shaped vibrators featuring wider flared bases
for safe anal exploration and play. We also feature
an anal toy article to assist you with the anal sex
tips as well as recommended toys.
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Traditional
Classic
vibrators, including slimline and realistically shaped
vibrators for vaginal, anal penetration or external
clitoral stimulation.
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Labia
Vibrators
Clitoral & Labia Vibrators that focus amazing vibrations
to your labia, anus and clitoris all at once! |
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Natural
Contours Personal Massagers
Drawing on silent technology for a quiet motor and
a tapered shape for versatility and comfort, these
massager is designed to fit a woman's natural curves
-- inside and out.
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Don't
Forget Lube
Love
Liquid, ForPlay Flavored, Oil of Love, Phallix Glass
Lubricant, Warming & Flavored, Cyberskin™
Powder, Water Based, Wet Platinum, ForPlay Flavored,
Anal-Eze, Sexual Arousal Cream, Desensitizers, Condoms,
Massage Oils, Massage Creams.
How To Choose Lube
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Make
Your Own Vibrating Dildos
This
is one of our top sellers. Now you can finally make
a very personal vibrating or non-vibrating realistic
dildo! This kit will create an "identical twin" of
yours or your lovers penis using the same patented
technology in Hollywood!
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Pyrex
Glass Sex Toys
The
Holistic
Wisdom
Journal
