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Sex
Joke of the Week-
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A mother and her young son are flying Southwest
Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son,
who had been looking out the window, turns to
his mother and asks, "If big dogs have baby
dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't
big planes have baby planes?" The mother couldn't
think of an answer, so tells her son to ask
the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess
the same question. " The stewardess responds,
"Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy
admitted that this was the case. "Well, then,
tell your mother that there are no baby planes
because Southwest always pulls out on time.
Your mother can explain it to you."
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The
War On
Sex
Toys
Why
Are We Not Standing Up For Our Sexual Rights?
by
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
Holistic
Wisdom Founder
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
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So if
you have not already heard, the Supreme Court has rejected
hearing a case that would allow adults to purchase sex toys.
While
the Atlanta-based 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said
in a ruling last July that siding with the sex toy merchants
could open the door to the legalization of undesirable sexual
behavior such as "...adult incest, prostitution, obscenity,
and the like."
It is
no wonder the Supreme Court won't review the sex toy case
and have allowed the state of Alabama and other states to
continue to outlaw them. After all, it
was not that long ago that the infamous V-day slaughter
(Vibrator Day) took place and vibrated innocent adults to
death after a gory attack by sex toy gang members in the
deep south.
And
please don't forget the highly addictive qualities of such
sex toys. I mean one hit from a dildo can cause instant
paralysis of all your common senses and leave you forever
addicted to them, while willing and ready to do unspeakable
things just to get another taste.
In these
dark times of sex toys, there is some hope... I have heard
of 12-step sex toy groups getting started that will help
people to repress any desires they may have to enjoy their
God given sexuality and understand that it is important
for ALL of their constitutional rights to be infringed upon.
After all, it seems the constitution is really just for
show in the U.S., we really don't use it these days.
If you
have NOT caught on to my extreme sarcasm by now, you may
be on the wrong web site. The news is out, without comment,
justices of the Supreme Court let stand a lower court ruling
that said Alabama had a right to police the sale of devices
that can be sexually stimulating. The American Civil Liberties
Union filed the challenge on behalf of merchants and users
seeking to overturn the 1998 state law. Yep, you heard that
right a law in 1998 not 1888!
Just
Because It Is A Law Does Not Make It Right Or Abide By Our
Constitution-
Every
day things that bring harm to people are legally sold in
the U.S. We sell tobacco, alcohol, guns, knives, and even
prescription drugs like Vioxx that we know are deadly. Yet
because sexuality is so often thought of as dirty and shameful,
when in reality is is a beautiful part of who we are, anything
associated with it is considered potentially obscene.
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One
of Two Stores That Sherry Williams
Is Fighting To Keep Open
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In the
case of
Sherri Williams, she is fighting to keep her lingerie
and adult toy shops open. Her
Attorney, Mike Fees and The American Civil Liberties Union
has played a key role in fighting the battle for the freedom
to manufacture, distribute, sell, buy and use adult toys
in the privacy of your own home. Yet the Supreme Court has
turned a deaf ear to the matter. Sherry is still battling
the courts and fighting for all of our rights to have and
enjoy sex toys. She is a woman to be admired and supported!
It
Happens in Texas Too
As many
of you know Joanne Webb was arrested in Burleson, TX in
an undercover sting operation by two narcotics officers
for selling two dildos through her homebased, Tupperware
style, sex toy, side business.
She
has endured over a year of absolute upheaval from the case
by being made to feel like a woman wearing a scarlet letter
in her own town. She fought to stay out of trouble with
1 year in prison and $4,000.00 in fees on the line. Yet
the case was dropped a few months ago, most likely from
the sheer embarrassment that it caused the district attorney's
office when Joanne brought international attention to it
through media appearances in newspapers, radio interviews
and on television. A victory and also a problem because
now that people know who she is... she can't get a job as
a teacher.
She
is now pondering whether to proceed with a law suit against
the state of Texas for their current law against selling
sex toys while educating customers about them as being unconstitutional.
She has until November 2005 to decide and is currently examining
whether or not to proceed.
Having
been an advocate of Joanne during her troubles with this
Texas law, we became friends and I found myself talking
with her this week on this topic. A few points were made
in that conversation that I would like to share...
Freedom
From Religion
Joanne
was doing a radio interview last week with a Rabbi and Minister
who discussed the sale of sex toys. The Rabbi said it was
fine if she is selling it only to couples, while the Minister
said that she was wrong to sell any of them for any reason
and was not Christian for doing so.
Joanne
provided a solid debate with them as she explained that
there is nothing wrong with an individual using sex toys
as a couple or by themselves. She also told the Minister
that she was indeed a Christian, but perhaps not one that
would attend his church.
What
I said to Joanne about that was that one could go around
and around on the whole debate of religion's role regarding
sex toys. This is because there so many different beliefs
in even just one religion such as Christianity, let alone
other religions. The real issue here is that religion
should not play a role in these decisions at all
under the law.
The
constitution assures us freedom of religion which, also
must be seen as freedom FROM religion. It should not be
a matter of what someone thinks about sex toys based on
their personal religious beliefs because the FACT is that
sex toys do not cause harm. They should be protected under
the same grounds that protect our right to privacy in any
adult's own bedroom. Whether it is consenting adults or
one masturbating, it should be a right to buy, sell and
use sex toys in any state.
Selling
Sex Toys Does Not Necessarily Make You Rich
Many
people think that those who sell sex toys have tons of money
pouring in because "sex sells." Thus, people assume
that those who are arrested for selling sex toys do not
need help financially or in any other capacity. I have news
for you my friends... it doesn't work that way.
Joanne
is like many Americans just scraping to get by each month.
Because she was a teacher before this whole fiasco, she
is looking for a new job as one outside of the backward
town that tried to jail her. However, no one will hire her
because of her ties to marital aids. Her job selling sex
toys for Passion Parties brings in little income and she
has been forced to go without health insurance for her children
for over 9 months now.
The
legal fund we started to help her and those in her situation
did not get one contribution. Not a single one. People like
Joanne, Sherri and others fight these battles with out much
support for your right to have sex toys and education about
them and every day I worry if I will be the next in line
to be prosecuted by some backward law.
I don't
worry because I am knowingly breaking any laws. I am a good
person with deep integrity and I have gone above and beyond
what I know to be the law. Yet, everyone knows that there
are not laws protecting adult businesses and if government
officials wants to get you, they will find a way.
Bottom
line is that the people like Joanne and myself endure the
high levels of stress doing what we do... not because it
has made us rich, rather because we believe that women and
men should feel empowered about their sexuality and embrace
it as a positive part of who they are. If we wanted to make
a quick buck, there would be much easier ways than to risk
arrests or be made out to be some community whore because
you teach sexuality and have no shame in selling the tools
of sex toys for people like you to have a good sex life.
Happened
Again In Texas
I received
an eMail from one of our readers this week that reported
a story about a woman named Nancy McElwee. Nancy is currently
awaiting trial in Nueces County, Texas for selling vibrators
and dildos out of her store. Her store, Friends4Ever is
a lingerie store where the sex toys were kept in a back
room and not prominently displayed in public. Several thousand
dollars worth of her sex toys have been confiscated. Her
employee has already been tried and convicted and sentenced
to 6 months in jail! Tax dollars well spent?
Two
undercover officers performed a sting operation in the store
by buying sex toys. They then proceeded to handcuff Nancy
and her employee for 6.5 hours while they went through her
store tearing it apart and taking all the sex toys out.
They then put them in a police transport vehicle with prostitutes,
drunks and criminals to jail where they were locked up for
13 hours until they could be bailed out.
Nancy
is awaiting her court date on March 17th, 2005 and has kept
her store open by just selling lingerie and items like body
butter. However, she is apparently being harassed by officers
who come in at least one time a day and check to make sure
she has not restocked any of the sex toys they confiscated.
Nancy's lawyer is appealing the case.
Apparently
Nancy was told the reason that she was arrested was that
she was "promoting sex" by selling sex toys...
although, at this point, I am still researching this story
and the actual charges they have brought against her and
will follow up on it with facts as they become available.
Think
That It's Just Alabama & Texas?
States
Outlawing Sex Toys
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SEVEN
states currently ban the sale of Adult Toys (Internet sales
do not apply so far), but with the 11th Districts recent
decision in Williams vs. Alabama we can expect that number
to grow substantially and may very well apply to web site
sales. State legislators and Courts use recent case decisions
to establish precedence.
The
portion of the Alabama Law currently being scrutinized:
"It
shall be unlawful for any person to knowingly distribute,
possess with intent to distribute, or offer or agree to
distribute obscene material or any device designed or marketed
as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital
organs..."
Sherry
Williams had this to say of the law "In a state where
you have the right to buy a gun, you no longer have the
right to buy a vibrator! While there is nothing dangerous
about a vibrator, nor do they pose any harm, the state of
Alabama feels it is necessary to remove every last one of
them from my store front and close down the business I worked
11 years to build."
Sherry
also had this to say "...It's hard to rationalize rubber
products as being obscene. Does a man look in the mirror
and consider himself obscene?"
Why
Does This Happen?
Below
are five main reasons that sex toys upset people enough
for them to want to make it illegal and why they are not
rational below-
1)
The Independent Woman Factor
Women are often thought to no longer desire men once they
have tasted the delectable delights of sex toys that vibrate
and rotate. The
bottom line is that toys will never be able to compete with
human contact. Feeling desired and having a sexual connection
with ourselves and partner is key for sexual satisfaction.
Think
about it, when a woman uses a sex toy is she fantasizing
about a lover or is she fantasizing about a piece of vibrating
plastic? Women want and desire a partner and nothing that
rotates or vibrates can take away that inevitable desire.
2)
Men's Penis Size Insecurity
Men
may worry that they
are not as satisfying or as "good" as a sex toy
because of penis size. That
point is simply not an issue for women when determining
who they want as a partner. We women pass babies through
our vaginas so what in the world would make anyone think
that our pleasure was contingent on size? Trust me, while
sometimes women enjoy the extra girth or angle that some
dildos provide... heterosexual women need, want and desire
your penis as it is our way of enjoying the warmth of human
sexuality and experiencing your desire for us!
3)
Concern By Homophobe's That Sex Toys Are Used By Homosexuals
And Thus A Homosexual Behavior
Some
may think that lesbians use dildos as do gay men for anal
sex and thus it would make someone linked to being homosexual
by using a sex toy. This is an absurd argument in that even
if you are disturbed by homosexuals, you are certainly not
risking changing your sexual orientation simply by using
a sex toy. That would be as silly as saying that using a
lubricant might cause the same feared outcome.
Sex
is how you experience it. Let me repeat that as it is an
important point. Sex is how YOU experience it. You
are
what you are and nothing not a sex toy or anything else
can make you change your sexual orientation.
4)
Concern That Use of Sex Toys Will Lead To Illegal Behavior
I have certainly heard those who are over react and think
that using
sex toys can lead to incest, bestiality and prostitution.
However, that is more ridiculous than saying that drinking
a cup of coffee will lead to your becoming a cocaine addict.
Millions of people use sex toys and if for some crazy reason
they were partaking in incest, bestiality or prostitution,
it would not be because a vibrator led them do it!
5)
Ignorance
Fear of the unknown is certainly a factor here. Many people
simply aren't sure how their sexuality works let alone how
to use a sex toy. They may even fear that people would find
them morally reprehensible if it were discovered that they
used them.
That
is why the law in Texas stating that one cannot sell sex
toys and educate consumers on how they work is so terribly
irresponsible. People are often so ignorant or confused
about their own sexuality and it seems that ideally it would
be someone's responsibility to themselves to better understand
their health as well as their sexual health. That is why
programs that promote abstinence only education are damaging
as it only leads to further ignorance, confusion, poor self
esteem and fear of healthy sex.
Sex
toys should be as commonplace as ice cream. While ice cream
gives pleasure it does not even have the health benefits
that sexual release provides. Sexuality should be accepted
as normal and healthy. Instead, due to a great deal of fear
based religious teachings, we find ourselves rejecting the
very beautiful, God given sexuality that is in us all.
Where
Is The Outrage!?!
Who
is standing up for the right of being able to make, sell
and use sex toys? Mostly, it comes down to the few that
have already been arrested for it outside of groups like
the ACLU and The Free Speech Coalition.
What
bothers me more than the backward fundamentalist types that
think that sex is a dirty thing, is the apathetic stance
that most people take. Why are people not more outraged
that their freedoms are being taken away from them? I bet
you that if anyone tried to ban guns in Alabama we would
have another civil war; because apparently guns don't cause
harm, vibrators do. What the hell is going on?
Have
we all lost our minds, do we really value violence over
sexuality? It appears that everything that is going on from
censoring nipples on TV but allowing gruesome violent footage
is pointing in that direction! What sick people we are
when we value harm to another human being, but see the pleasure
of one obscene.
Dr.
Don Wildmon, founder of the American Family Association
had said "Because of the addictive nature of pornography,
the pornographers know that if they capture the children,
they will have customers for many, many years." Lumping
anyone selling adult products in the category of pornography
includes businesses like mine... and I have news for ya
Don... it does not even occur to us... it is your sick mind
that conjures up these ridiculous fantasies.
No sex
toy business I know of is marketing to kids... we are very
careful to sell to adults only. Unlike the sick monsters
many fundamentalists try and make us out to be... we care
about children, many of us have them, and find the types
of accusations that we market to them outrageous, insulting
and disgusting.
We simply
want to be able to provide sexual education and products
to adults as it is our right under the Constitution of the
United States as sexual adults to have access to such information
and products if we desire it.
We want
to be honest about what we are selling to adults rather
than having to lie and abide by ridiculous laws telling
customers that the g-spot vibrator we sell is really a novelty
and is not really for sexual activity... wink, wink.
We want
the world to see that sex is beautiful, natural and should
not be left to the only acceptable sex as a man on top,
only when married to procreate and under no other circumstances.
To
The Backward Lawmakers
We challenge
your laws against oral and anal sex, we challenge your laws
against sex toys and we challenge your laws against adult
entertainment. We challenge you to live by the constitution
of the United States of America!
Take
A Stand For Sexual Rights- NASAE.org
We
are starting an emergency assistance program to help support
those charged with crimes related to being in the field
of sexuality, and for those of you who aren't... you are
customers of them... so this affects you too!
We
must protect and assist those who provide sexual health
services and products to ensure the rights and empowerment
of adults desiring to be sexually educated and afforded
the freedom of purchasing and using sexual books, videos
and aids.
The
Holistic
Wisdom
Journal
