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Sex
Joke of the Week-
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A
teacher noticed that a little boy at the back
of the class was squirming around, scratching
his crotch and not paying attention. She went
back to find out what was going on. He was quite
embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently
been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The
teacher told him to go down to the principal's
office. He was to phone his mother and ask her
what he should do about it. He did it and returned
to his class.
Suddenly,
there was a commotion at the back of the room.
The teacher went back to investigate only to
find the little boy sitting at his desk with
his penis hanging out.
"I
thought I told you to call your Mom," she screamed.
"I did," he said, "and she told me that if I
could stick it out 'til noon, she'd come and
pick me up from school."
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Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D. CEO
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. Founder |
Sex
With A Disability
Daring
To Explore & Live Passionately
With Or Without
One
Recently,
I received a call from a courageous young man named Mike
who is paraplegic. He wanted to know about safe oral sex
and other aspects of sexuality.
I have
to say that when he called, I was very keen to the fact
that he was nervous through his shaky voice and his hesitancy
to even ask for advice on this subject. We ended up speaking
for quite some time, and by the end of the conversation
he had admitted to being very nervous when he had first
called, but was now much more at ease and felt like he had
been able to explore his questions in a satisfactorily way.
What
I told him at the end of our conversation was that I was
glad that he called for a few reasons. First, I was of course
glad that I was able to provide him with information that
he may find useful. Secondly, I was glad that he called
because it reminded me of how many people there are that
struggle to make the best of sex while working through obstacles
of physical disabilities and how much courage it takes for
them to even try.
So many
physically healthy adults struggle with sexuality; throw
in a physical disability and your sex life can be truly
challenging. I wanted to share with you my discussion with
Mike, for those of you with disabilities, if you are with
someone who has one and for those who are perfectly healthy
as the more basics of these issues apply to everyone.
Learning
To Explore-
Mike
is like many people who are hesitant to ask questions regarding
their sexuality and simply want to learn more about the
beautiful part of who they are. Now, some may question why
Mike would bother... being paralyzed from the waist down.
Yet, Mike and I agree on a very key aspect of sex... which
is that desire, passion, pleasure... it all originates and
ends in the mind.
The
question is not why should he bother, but
why shouldn't he? Don't those who have handicaps
still deserve to have intimacy, physical touch and visual
stimulation? Don't we all deserve to experience everything
that our senses allow us to?
Through
Harlow's monkey experiments in 1969, the need for touch
in humans was proven. In turn, it showed that those that
don't receive physical touch actually develop attachment
disorders and develop a failure to thrive.
Our
body responds to touch even if we cannot feel it. Our mind
responds to the idea of being touched and and our heart
certainly craves loving gestures. So, the reality is that
even if a part of the body is not functioning at full capacity,
there is no reason why anyone should think that someone
does not need attention physically, emotionally and mentally!
Sexual
Victories Can Happen Despite The Odds-
About
a year ago, a woman had purchased a Hitachi
Magic Wand from us to use on her paraplegic boyfriend
in hopes that he would be able to see ejaculate for the
first time. He had never been able to sustain an erection
long enough to ejaculate and was unsure if he could.
I am
happy to say that the first time she put the vibrator to
his penis, he maintained an erection and ejaculated for
the first time through sexual stimulation! Of course there
is a lack of sensation or none at all in situations like
this, but the happiness that he conveyed of being able to
achieve this, to see it and have his girlfriend experience
that with him was beyond amazing for both of them and made
them feel intimacy on a whole new level.
It's
like the old adage, when life hands you lemons, you make
lemonade. You can always reach levels of fulfillment that
may not be obvious to the mainstream. I know that if I were
in an accident tomorrow and were paralyzed that I would
still want to experience my husband sexually, to feel his
love and know that we could share something emotionally
and physically intimate with one another. Why wouldn't anyone?
A
Good Sex With Disability Resource-
SexualHealth.com
Sexual
Health.c
