The Holistic Wisdom Journal  

May 1, 2003 ~ Articles In This Issue...

~ The Risks & Benefits Of Choosing A Career In Sexual Health!
    We Knew Our Career Choice Was The Right One For Us, But Some Of Our
    Family Were Willing To Stop Talking To Us Over It.

~ Sex On The Net
   Is It Helpful Or Harmful To You And Your Relationship?

~ How to Bring Up Sexual Issues With Your Doctor
   Some Tips On How To Take Care Of Your Sexual Health

~ Ortho tri-cyclen
   An Oral Birth Control- How It Works, Risks, Benefits, And Where To Get It

The Risks & Benefits Of Choosing
A Career In Sexual Health!
We Knew Our Career Choice Was The Right One For Us,
But Some Of Our Family Were Willing To Stop Talking To Us Over It.

John & Lisa Lawless
Holistic Wisdom Founders

We just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone that contacted us and those who are continuing to (regarding our name change announcement) for their support and kindness!

When we wrote to our newsletter subscribers about our name changing due to a family conflict (which was based on their protests to our career choice in the field of sexual health) we did so only to give an explanation that we were changing our names with good reason.

We certainly were not expecting the flood of eMails that have come pouring into us showing support and understanding about what we have gone through with some of our family member's rejection of us and insistence that we change our name to avoid "embarrassing them!"

It was one of the most touching things that has ever happened to us as it not only gave us a feeling of support during an emotionally stressful time in our lives, but it truly validated all the hard work and time we have committed to creating our company.

John I. Lawless, C.O.O.

We knew that we were taking a risk by addressing sexual health issues in an explicit manner on our site as we know that there are many people who would say that sex portrayed in this manner is wrong, immoral and simply unacceptable. We have been quite outspoken that we disagree with such stances through such articles as-

"Christianity & Porn- Is It Right or Wrong?"


"Struggling With Sexuality-A Societal Look at Our Inhibitions."

One of our subscribers said it best when he said "Sex is [considered in our society to be] dirty and sold back to us as we are bombarded with meaningless over-stimulation. Gratification, but no satisfaction." That is exactly the confines of which we have been trying to liberate our web site visitors.

We believe that there can be a deeper understanding of sexuality as a positive, healthy and loving experience toward oneself and a partner. Sexual education that not only "talks" about embracing the beauty of it but also backs that up through showing that through examples and instruction is something that is not really found often in our society… and we wonder… why not?

Isn't sex worth addressing in a healthy and empowering manner? Why does our society feel the need to go to such extremes, ranging from cheap and degrading displays of sex and sexual behavior to the other side of the spectrum of complete condemnation of it? Shouldn't we have a healthier balance that allows us to accept that being a sexual human being is part of who we are and is something that should be celebrated not be ashamed about? We think so.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO

What amazed us was that hundreds of our newsletter subscribers took the time to tell us so! We felt privileged because we are aware that many individuals will never know how much their career choice has positively affected people's lives and it has been remarkable as well as humbling to hear the stories of people whom have written to us sharing their thoughts and feelings about what we do and how it has positively impacted their lives.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

We will never forget any of your correspondences as they have all meant so much. They have only reaffirmed that what we do through our company Holistic Wisdom is needed as well as beneficial and we will continue to expand and enhance our products and services addressing sexual health topics as well as health in general.

We wish all of you well… Namaste dear friends,

John & Lisa Lawless

To view our name change announcement and just a sample of the replies we received from some of our newsletter subscribers...

CLICK HERE

Sex On The Net
   Is It Helpful Or Harmful To You And Your Relationship?

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder

Anyone reading this on our site has to at least be open to looking at sexual health education... but what about porn sites and chat rooms, etc. How do they affect relationships? How far do the boundaries go before you can begin asking yourself if it is a betrayal of your commitment to one another; is it cheating?

The answer- It depends.

Everyone feels differently. These are really tough questions that have to be individually defined and as always we encourage you to "tune in" to your heart and determine if it is right for you. Essentially, it comes down to what you define as "going too far."

Take some time to evaluate the situation in an objective manner by thinking about these facts.

~ Masturbation among men and women who are in committed relationships
    is not unusual.

~ Fantasy is very different than actually acting out.

~ It is a pretty high (and possibly unrealistic or even controlling)
   expectation to expect that your man or woman should only fantasize about
   YOU while masturbating. This truly depends on the partnership and each
   partners preference.

~ It is common for men to use pictures and women to use toys as part of their
   masturbation.

~ Men and women with high sex drives, who enjoy sex with their partners,
   are apt to feel more sexual, not less.

While these facts do not excuse men or women from their obligations to their lovers, it can help you understand that many people use pornography to let off sexual steam or enhance their partnership when used together or shared in their communication about it.

Sex on the Internet may trouble you because you are concerned about living up to the "standard" others are setting. Your moral value system may be called into question and you may wonder whether this crosses an acceptable line. Usually the use of pornography is in no way a reflection of how your partner feels about you or your sex life just as your crush on Ben Affleck or Salma Hayek or the steamy romance novel you are reading doesn't affect your feelings for them.

Some Important Questions To Ask Yourself In
Determining If It Is A Challenge That Needs To Be Addressed-

~ Are they doing something that they won't share with you?

~ Is your partner spending more time with the Internet than with you?

~ Are they chatting, corresponding, establishing cyber relationships or even
   actually meeting other people, and you do not have an previous
   agreement to an "open relationship" of that type?

~ Has their use of pornography become chronic and you are upset by it?

~ Do you have an issue with it and just need your partner to work through
   your insecurities with it?

~ Do you and your partner have unresolved trust issues from previous
   relationships (including ones from childhood) and need to work through
   those first before you indulge in sexual explorations on the Internet?

~ Do you have a conflict in moral beliefs about sex that affects whether or
   not you both can be comfortable with one or both of you seeking out
   entertainment or educational adult content?

If you find that you have concerns or challenges around this issue with a partner, your best solution is to try to talk about it with them. If you are single, then find a friend you can trust and process it. It is always best to deal with these things directly and work though it.

If you feel that the issues are too complex, confusing, deep or you can not agree with your partner on what is right for the health of your relationship, you may want to speak with with a therapist. They can help you both understand the situation and work toward goals that will empower both of you to get your needs met while working through any inhibitions or painful wounds.

No matter your decision about this for yourself or for your relationship, taking the time to examine these matters can be an enlightening way for you to be a better partner and more nurturing to yourself.

How to Bring Up Sexual
Issues With Your Doctor
 Some Tips On How To Take Care Of Your Sexual Health

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder

Let's face it, looking at sex information on the Internet anonymously is a lot easier than talking with your doctor about your sexual problems... for many this can cause major anxiety! However, in order to get the best care you must be able to communicate your needs. The following tips in this article can help you when bringing up sexual problems with your doctor so that you can be empowered and healthy.

Remember that a doctor is human, too and they may have anxieties about discussing sexuality with patients because of their need to maintain appropriate boundaries with their patients or even because they have sexual issues themselves!

Just make sure not to take it personally or as a judgment on you if your doctor becomes uncomfortable. When I was beginning my research for my book "The Art Of Female Ejaculation," I point blank asked my OBGYN about it and she about fell over while turning a bright red color. Being a bit more daring than most about these types of topics I had to smile knowing how many other doctors must have the same embarrassed reaction. Her reply... she (as most OBGYNs) did not know about female ejaculation and of course that is just one of many reasons I took it upon myself to write my book!

Medical school courses on sexual anatomy and human sexuality are relatively recent and not addressed in all medical schools. Don't take no for an answer, even if you have to ask your doctor for a referral to someone who can answer your questions!

Some doctors may minimize your problem or dismiss it, but that's usually because they don't know how to help. They may be uneducated about it and jump to conclusions that it may be psychological (and it may be... so don't rule that out), or they are not aware of potential treatment. Stay empowered... educate yourself. Arm yourself with information found on this web site. Information you take to your doctor will be extremely helpful to him or her as well as to you.

Most doctors will be open and receptive to your comments and will be happy to learn of any new information, particularly if it is based on science and research. If your doctor avoids addressing your sexual problems, acknowledge that the subject is embarrassing for both of you, but make it clear that your sexuality is a basic part of you.

A good way to start the conversation is on a positive note: "I was hoping that you might be able to help me with a concern (or question) I have." Many find it helps to bring an article (or our book!) with them, starting the conversation with "I was reading this and wondered what you thought."

Be persistent. If you don't get the response you want, don't feel badly about finding another physician. Look in your local yellow pages or check with your local hospital or health center for referrals to physicians. Even if they don't treat sexual function complaints themselves, they usually have a network or physicians who are sympathetic to such issues.

Oral contraceptives are pills containing combinations of synthetic female hormones forms of estrogen and progestogen that help prevent pregnancy and are taken following a prescribed monthly schedule. Oral contraceptives work by suppressing a woman's secretion of certain hormones connected with the onset of ovulation (egg release) and menstruation. This "fools" the body into thinking the woman is pregnant and essentially blocks further ovulation and menstruation cycles. With those cycles blocked, the woman is far less likely to become pregnant.

Like other oral contraceptives, Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo, is highly effective when taken correctly. It contains a combination of hormones - estrogen and the progestin norgestimate. Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo was developed by Ortho-McNeil Pharmaceutical, Inc.

Important to remember when taking oral contraceptives-

Certain herbs and medicines, including the antibiotic rifampin and certain drugs used to control seizures, may make the Pill less effective. Vomiting and diarrhea may also keep the Pill from working. Ask your clinician for advice.

It is very important to remember that the Pill does not protect against sexually transmitted infections. Use a latex condom along with the Pill for protection against infection.

Benefits-

Taking the Pill is simple, safe, and convenient.

Many women who take the Pill have more regular, lighter, and shorter periods.

The Pill does not interfere with having sex. Many women say the Pill has improved their sex lives. They say they are free to be more spontaneous and do not have to worry about becoming pregnant.

The Pill offers many health benefits, including some protection against

In fact, protection against developing cancer of the ovary or the lining of the uterus (endometrium) can last up to 15 years after stopping the Pill. Protection against endometrial cancer increases with each year of use­ women who use the Pill for eight years reduce their risk of getting endometrial cancer by up to 80 percent.

The Pill may offer some protection against osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis.

Risks-

As with all drugs, there may be some undesirable side effects for some women taking the Pill. However, the Pill is much safer than pregnancy and childbirth for healthy women– except among smokers age 35 and older.

Some side effects that usually clear up after two or three months of use include

Nausea and vomiting often can be reduced or eliminated by taking the Pill with the evening meal or at bedtime. (Do not stop taking the Pill if you feel sick to your stomach.) Irregular spotting and bleeding happen more frequently with progestin-only pills than with combination pills.

Other possible side effects include

It is important to stop taking the Pill about four weeks before a scheduled major operation. Do not start again while recuperating or while a leg or arm is in a cast.

Rarely, women who take the Pill develop high blood pressure. Very rarely,liver tumors, gallstones, and jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes) occur in women who take the Pill. More detailed information about the use and risks of the Pill is provided in an insert included with each pill pack.

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The Holistic Wisdom Journal