Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
I
wrote an article about this a while back and have had many eMails
about it since. I wanted to add some feedback that I have gotten
about the subject.
One
of the most important aspect that I must emphasize in regard to
this topic is working with what you have and acceptance of ourselves
as we are, not as we wish we were, in order to further nurture ourselves
and our self-esteem. As I believe that to be the most important
aspect of our emotional evolution.
Yet,
in this day and age, many people strive to better themselves, and
I commend them for their efforts. Yet, when is the right time to
do that and when is it important to just be content with who we
are. When is it okay to have breast implants, a face lift, wear
make-up, color our hair, have our teeth whitened or capped? When
is it all right for a woman to have vaginal tightening surgery or
for a man to have a penile implant?
Personally
I do not believe it is right for anyone to make the call on whether
it is right or wrong for someone else, rather I believe it is a
personal decision that an individual must make on their own. Certainly
articles like ours can influence such decisions and thus that is
why I write in terms of the ultimate empowerment and decision going
to the reader.
I
had one woman eMail me and relayed her personal experiences with
one lover who had a small penis, another who was larger, and yet
another who was really well endowed. I agree with much of what she
wrote and would like to share (having received her permission) her
eMail-
"...I
wanted to convey to men out there that there are more important
things in a relationship than penis size and that women generally
do not base the depth of their affection on this factor. However,
I can tell you that there are some differences in what it is like
to be with a man who has a larger penis and I would like to share
with you my own experiences.
My
four inch lover-
I
loved this man very much, and despite his penis being smaller
than most, I found sex to be satisfying and felt connected
to him during our sexual encounters. I was not able to have
an orgasm during sex with him because his penis (also being
thin in width) did not stimulate my g-spot and thus provided
me with pleasure, but no climax. He was able to use fingering
and oral techniques that allowed me to climax and thus our
sex life was satisfactory to me.
My
seven inch lover-
I
too loved this man and was quite overwhelmed when he first
penetrated me. I was not used to having as large a penis inside
me and I found it painful at first. After about a week, I
was used to his size (as my vaginal walls stretched to accommodate
him). I had my first orgasm with him through intercourse because
he was not only stimulating my g-spot with the much larger
width of his penis than my previous lover, but also was stimulating
my cervix with his ability to reach up inside me that far
with the tip of his penis. I was truly in heaven and enjoyed
the pleasure his penis gave me.
It
occurred to me in retrospect that had I wanted to have that
feeling with my first lover, we could have explored penis
extenders, dildos and other options... if I had know how much
I loved the feeling of being penetrated.
Because my girlfriend told me that she does not enjoy penetration
(from her similarly sized husband) as much as she enjoys clitoral
stimulation, I think this is a personal preference. Some women
like g-spot and cervical stimulation more than others so it's
probably good for a man to check in with his partner to find
out and for a woman to experiment with a dildo if her lover
is on the small end of the spectrum to know.
My
nine inch lover-
This
was a short relationship and not as emotionally strong as
the other two, and I do think that is a factor. However, on
the physical end I can say that this man was too big for me.
His penis often hit my cervix with force and it was painful.
I ended up not being able to do many sexual positions with
him as I found some more painful than others (such as doggie
style). He ended up not fully penetrating me to keep from
hurting me and it made sex less spontaneous and carefree.
All
in all I must say that a woman can accommodate width as we
are built to stretch for childbirth, but too much length can
be tricky.
I
think that most women do like a wide penis, but again it depends
on how much she likes vaginal stimulation compared to other forms
such as clitoral, anal, etc. Looking back, I think the most important
component is how you feel about your lover and what you are willing
to do to pleasure one another. Whether you learn techniques to compensate
for having a small penis, large vaginal opening all the way to learning
what your partner enjoys the most."
In
Closing-
As
I said before, I found this woman's summary through her personal
examples to put into perspective what is most important about penis
size. Which is... the man attached!
Sex,
Relationships & Astrology Understanding
Your Synastry With Your Lover
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
Before
I learned about astrology I had the skills and vocabulary of a psychotherapist
to try and understand my partner and myself within the confines
of our relationship. Yet, with all the years of education and experience
in the field of psychology I never quite found the rich and precise
tools that astrology affords me now.
When
I first heard of astrology in my younger years I was very skeptical
of it's ability to be accurate. However, I was judging it based
on the pop culture "sun sign" approach which is extremely
limited and not very useful.
The
more I studied astrology, particularly "evolutionary astrology,"
I realized that it is not only accurate, but an excellent tool in
exploring one's self, relationships and even sex. Let me take a
few minutes to share with you a glimpse of my own personal astrology
information to make my point.
Both
my husband and I have Taurus sun signs which attributes to our practical
approach to things as well as our sensuality in the things that
we do. Ruled by Venus it emanates such qualities as a love of beauty
and pleasure. Just as with all signs Taurus men and women have specific
sexual tastes and knowing these has helped both myself and my husband
better understand what we tend to enjoy in and out of the bedroom.
But
it does not stop there. My Scorpio moon and his Cancer moon signs
also have very strong sexual distinctions. Unraveling not only the
basics of the signs but how they play out in our natal charts as
well as our compatibility is very helpful when examining our unconscious
attitudes and desires about our relationship and sex.
Personally,
I grew up in a sexually conservative household that condemned much
about women's sexuality. I also was sexually assaulted and raped
in high school (by an acquaintance of my boyfriend at the time)
which made embracing my own sexuality difficult. I felt ashamed
of my sexuality and for a very long time repressed that part of
myself in many ways. This was difficult to do especially since my
natal chart accurately shows me as a sexual powerhouse. Thus, my
repression enflamed self hatred and an eating disorder developed.
It
was not until my husband John came into my life and helped me work
through a lot of my sexual inhibitions that I was able to experience
what it is to feel completely intimate emotionally and sexually
with someone. In addition, I was able to realize what I was to do
in my career which is to focus on matters of health, particularly
sexual health. Once I worked through some of my fears of being inadequate
in addition to physical intimacy and being completely vulnerable
within it, my idea for my first sexual health book "The Art
Of Female Ejaculation" became crystal clear.
Looking
at the combination of my signs within my natal chart as well as
the synastry of those pertaining to my husband literally gives us
a map of what most empowers, nurtures and easily seduces one another.
Thus, when you look at my synastry with my husband's chart you can
see why I felt safe enough with him to work through much of my lingering
inhibitions regarding my sexuality.
Another
example of our synastry interpreted through astrology is through
our mutual signs of Gemini representing our planet Venus, which
makes us both very playful, flirtatious with one another, and interested
in information about sex and relationships. It also sums up why
we both have a love for technology and why our business is mainly
Internet based.
There
are many concrete astrological examples that I could give you about
our synastry that perfectly describe the way John and I relate to
one another, ourselves and others the way that we do. But rather
than make this article a mile long, let me just say that one of
the best aspects of astrology is when we communicate using it.
For example, one way that I understand what John's needs are is
to know that he has a Cancer moon. Having a Scorpio moon myself
means I tend to be very direct and assertive. However, I respect
that John needs a more gentle approach to communication. Thus, I
recognize that being forward and direct with him, especially when
there is stress, is not as effective as a gentle approach during
these times.
As
I mentioned before, both of us share the earthy sign of Taurus which
is super cool in that we both love to do similar things... especially
snuggle and watch movies. But it also means that there is a danger
of being couch potatoes and we have to take care to encourage each
other to go on hikes and other activities that will compensate for
the strong element of earth that we both have.
I
truly believe that astrology is great in allowing one to more clearly
see your partner and yourself while providing a better understanding
of why we are the way we are and the paths we can ideally follow
to create a better, healthier life.
Female
Ejaculation
Sex Toys & Products~
Important To Remember When Selecting Products-
As mentioned throughout our web sites, female ejaculation can
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Our
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I have personally selected all the toys and products
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Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
8
We
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eMail
Us At-
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Product~
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The
Holistic Wisdom Journal 
Personally
I do not believe it is right for anyone to make the call on whether
it is right or wrong for someone else, rather I believe it is a
personal decision that an individual must make on their own. Certainly
articles like ours can influence such decisions and thus that is
why I write in terms of the ultimate empowerment and decision going
to the reader. 
Before
I learned about astrology I had the skills and vocabulary of a psychotherapist
to try and understand my partner and myself within the confines
of our relationship. Yet, with all the years of education and experience
in the field of psychology I never quite found the rich and precise
tools that astrology affords me now. 
The
more I studied astrology, particularly "evolutionary astrology,"
I realized that it is not only accurate, but an excellent tool in
exploring one's self, relationships and even sex. Let me take a
few minutes to share with you a glimpse of my own personal astrology
information to make my point. 
Personally,
I grew up in a sexually conservative household that condemned much
about women's sexuality. I also was sexually assaulted and raped
in high school (by an acquaintance of my boyfriend at the time)
which made embracing my own sexuality difficult. I felt ashamed
of my sexuality and for a very long time repressed that part of
myself in many ways. This was difficult to do especially since my
natal chart accurately shows me as a sexual powerhouse. Thus, my
repression enflamed self hatred and an eating disorder developed.
There
are many concrete astrological examples that I could give you about
our synastry that perfectly describe the way John and I relate to
one another, ourselves and others the way that we do. But rather
than make this article a mile long, let me just say that one of
the best aspects of astrology is when we communicate using it.
The
Holistic Wisdom Corporation