The Holistic Wisdom Journal  

August 15, 2002 ~ Articles In This Issue...

~ The Art Of Fingering Part One
    Techniques On Pleasuring The Vagina

~ Condoms: What You May Not Know
    Just When You Thought You Knew Everything About Them!

~ Sex Drugs: Do They Work?
    Reviews Of Aphrodisiacs, Sexual Stimulants, And More!

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The Art Of Fingering Part One
By Lisa S. Lawless, C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder

Many inexperience lovers out there take the term "finger fucking" too literally and believe that jamming their fingers into the soft folds of a woman's vagina is the way to go. Can we say "Ouch!"

The ultimate tip of this article is to suggest that you have a woman masturbate to show you what she likes first. I will say this many times... communication in any sexual experience is the key, and a visual display to show personal preference is not only arousing, but helpful!

Let's start with preparation-

~ Clean Hands-
You will want to wash hands well to make sure that you do not introduce harmful bacteria into the vagina or introduce it into the urethra.

~ Avoiding A Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)~
Unfortunately, there can be some negative side affects to making contact with the urethra. The urethra is sensitive and is easily irritated. It is fairly easy to expose the urethral to bacteria that is harmful when introduced and thus often results in a UTI. The activity that can cause a UTI can be sexual or non sexual.

A woman who wipes her genitals after urinating from the back (dragging harmful bacteria from the anal region to the urethra) can introduce the makings of a UTI. Any sexual activity that makes contact with the urethra whether it is from fingers, a sex toy, the mouth, the penis, etc. can result in painful urination and infection. To help prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman should drink lots of water and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation.

Taking precautions such as washing whatever is going to come into contact with the urethra beforehand may assist in preventing such an infection. If an infection occurs it is easily treated with antibiotics. If left untreated the infection can become more serious and spread into the kidneys.

If you ask most women who have had a UTI, they will tell you that it is pretty painful and something that you would go to a medical facility at 3am if you had to so that you could get some relief!

~ Shorten Finger Nails-
Trim fingernails, so as to not cause pain or tears.

~ Lubricant-
Have the necessary tools, and toys such as lubricant, STD protection (if needed). Using lubricant is always welcome, as no matter how excited and wet a woman gets, that moisture is easily taken away and rubbed onto the fingers and hand leaving her feeling a bit tender.

~ Atmosphere-
Creating a relaxing atmosphere can also include doing some sensual foreplay. Get into the mood doing such activities as: massage, using sweet or spiced body lotions or oils, soft kissing, a bubble bath, and many other creative ventures.

Finger tips that tease and play with the clitoris in the beginning of a fingerings session will create a nice introduction to getting a woman ready for penetration clitoral stimulation will provide a nice opening, so let's start by discussing the clitoral orgasm.

The Clitoral Orgasm

This orgasm occurs at the peak of clitoral stimulation. It begins with an intense sexual excitement within the clit and then as the orgasm peaks it surges waves of pleasure throughout the body. Only several years ago did Masters & Johnson break the myth that this was the only kind of orgasm that women could have, when they showed proof of the g-spot orgasm.

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body and sexual arousal is always felt in the clitoris no matter where the orgasm takes place. It is usually that the sexual arousal first originates in the clit, and is considered an orgasmic starting point.

~ What Is The Clitoris And Where Is It?

It is located below the mons veneris on the anterior portion of the vulva. The inner vaginal lips, also called the labia minora when closed, tend to hide the clit, but it is interesting to note that those inner vaginal lips are attached to the underside of the clitoris and thus play an important role in the network of nerves, which transmit sexual stimulation.

The clitoral hood is formed by the connection of the inner vaginal lips. This small hood covers the clitoris in much the same manner as a foreskin covers a penis. When you pull the hood back you can see that the clit is USUALLY about the size of a pencil eraser, however the size does vary from woman to woman, much the same way penis size varies from man to man.

The clitoris is abundantly supplied with nerves. The part of the clitoris that you see is actually much like the head of a man's penis, and as a man has a shaft to his penis, a woman has a shaft to her clitoris. The shaft is located above the hood, and is more easily felt when a woman is aroused as it become more rigid as it fills with blood.

~ What Does It Feel Like?

Clitoral orgasms can be very intense, but may not be as "deep" as others. These orgasms are no doubt very, very pleasureful and helpful in achieving female ejaculation. Stimulating the clitoris can be a very good place to start when trying to achieve female ejaculation, after providing stimulation to the g-spot.

A Reminder- Remember that after an orgasm the clit can retract, and becomes highly sensitive to any further stimulation, often to the point of being painful.

~ Fingering The Clitoris~

A woman's lover will want to respect that the clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Rough rubbing directly on it (especially with rough skin) is not usually the ideal. Another area that if often misunderstood, is that most women want to have constant, repetitive motion to one or both sides of her clit. Many women have a favorite side, so it is always good to ask which side your baby likes, or if you are the receiver of such divine fun, to tell your lover. Communication is always key during GOOD sex.

Variation of speed and moving all around the clit is not generally preferred. Most women need a constant, repetitive, stimulation with little to no variation just as a vibrator would offer. That is one reason why women love those beautiful toys so much!

Pulling back the hood-
This is going to depend on a woman's clitoral sensitivity and how aroused she is. The more aroused a woman is, the more she may want or not want her clitoris directly stimulated.

For those woman who are particularly sensitive, pulling back the hood and receiving direct clitoral stimulation is not going to be a pleasureful experience.

If a woman likes her hood pulled back, the best way to do so is by spreading her lips apart, or pulling up on the mons.

Range Of Motion-
When women masturbate, they often rotate around their clit in a circular motion, while other women prefer a side-to-side or up and down motion. Another technique is rolling the clitoris with the thumb and pointer finger. This should be done gently.

The G-spot Orgasm Techniques And More Will Be Covered In
        Part Two Of This Article

Condoms: What You May Not Know~

By Lisa S. Lawless, C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder

TIPS ON USING CONDOMS

~ Put a condom on after the penis is erect (hard).

~ If using a spermicide, put some inside the condom tip.

~ After ejaculation and before the penis gets soft, grip the rim of the condom and     carefully withdraw from your partner.

~ If the condom does not have a reservoir tip, pinch the tip enough to leave a half -inch     space for the semen to collect.

~ Extreme temperatures-especially heat - can make latex brittle or gummy ( like an old     balloon). So, don't store condoms in hot places like a glove compartment, your wallet     or back pocket for any length of time.

~ If you do carry it around for more than a few weeks without using it , throw it out and     store a new one.

DO'S AND DON'TS FOR CONDOMS

THE DO'S:

~ Use only water based lubricants both inside and outside the condom.

~ Use a new condom for every act of intercourse.

~ Put a condom on before any contact is made between the penis and any part of the     partners body.

~ Wrap a used condom in a tissue and throw it in the trash.

THE DON'TS:

~ Don't use your teeth, scissors or sharp nails when opening a condom wrapper and     make sure you can see what your doing!

~ Never use lubricants that contain oils, fat or greases such as petroleum jelly ( like     Vaseline) baby oils or lotion, hand or body lotions, cooking oils or oily cosmetics like     cold cream. They can seriously weaken latex causing a condom to form tin holes and     tear easily.

~ Don't flush them down the toilet they will come back to haunt you!

NONOXYNOL-9

Is a mild chemical detergent that kills sperm and has been found to also kill some STD causing organisms. Some experts believe nonoxynol-9 may kill the AIDS virus. How ever some men and woman have a sensitivity or allergic reaction to nonoxynol-9 that may irritate the delicate tissues of the vagina or the male urethra. If irritation occurs, you should discontinue use.

Beginning in 2000, warnings have been issued by the CDC and the World Health Organization advising that nonoxynol-9 should not be used during anal intercourse. Studies have shown that nonoxynol-9, a spermicide contained in some condoms and lubricants, offers no protection against sexually transmitted diseases and destroys the protective lining of the rectum, which may enhance HIV transmission. HIV is the virus that is responsible for AIDS!

When A Condom Is Too Small:

Condoms that are too tight may cause a numbing sensation that decreases feeling, thus make staying aroused or cumming more difficult. True, it can prolong sex, as it can act as a cock ring, but if you are struggling with Erectile Dysfunction, then you should get a loose condom. We recommend trying one like these-

Have You Seen The Latest In Condoms?

~ Flavored Condoms~

Durex Flavored Condoms
Durex imported their flavored condoms from Europe for all of us here in the US to enjoy! In fact, these are the first FDA approved condoms in the US that contain a flavor in the lubricant. Not only are the flavors and scents great, the condoms are brightly colored to match. Available in three flavors, Banana, Orange, and Strawberry, individually or in an assorted sampler.

LifeStyles Flavored Condom Discs
Lifestyles Disc packaging is designed for easy-open, easy-on use. Available in three varieties: Xtreme Pleasure Discs (featuring an oversized tip designed to deliver heightened stimulation to both partners), Color Discs (assorted vibrantly colored condoms), and Flavor Discs (assortment of Strawberry, Vanilla, and Banana-flavored condoms).

Trustex Condoms
You say that the taste of latex has got you down? You say that one lick and you're feeling sick? Well if so, Trustex flavored condoms are for you. These FDA approved condoms come in seven exciting flavors. Available in Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate, Banana, Grape, Mint, and Cola. The Trustex Assorted Condom Sampler (12pk. C-TS) includes 2 each of banana, chocolate, cola, grape, strawberry, and vanilla. And now the Trustex Flavored Condom Sampler is now available super size! (36pk. C-TSS) includes 5 each of banana, chocolate, cola, grape, strawberry, vanilla, and 6 Trustex mint.

~ Climax Control Condoms~

Trojan Extended Pleasure
If this isn't the smartest thing Trojan has done in 20 years we don't know what is! Trojan's new Extended Pleasure features a "climax control lubricant" inside the condom to gently desensitize and increase staying power. Say goodbye to The Minute Man, the Marathon Man has arrived.

~ Kool Condoms~

KISS Kondoms

Introducing KISS Kondoms, the officially licensed condoms of the legendary rock band, KISS. Each KISS Kondom features high quality latex condoms in different colors and textures. The "Tongue Lubricated" Kondoms featuring Gene Simmons are now here! Each box includes 3 red latex condoms with special "tongue" lubrication. They are also available as singles in quantities of 12, 36, or 144. Stay tuned for "Studded Paul" Kondoms and "Love Gun Protection" Kondoms later this year.

Madonna Condoms
Sure to be collector's items, Madonna Condoms feature a photograph from her famous 1979 photo shoot, Madonna Nudes, on the boxes and condom wrappers. The condoms, like the singer, are strong, silky and sensuous, sure to make you feel like it's the very first time. Available in 3, 6 and 12 packs.

Recommended Unique Condoms~

You can get your average condom at any drug store, but we have put together some of our special and unique condoms that will provide extra pleasure, staying power
and comfort.

We have tested all of our condoms first hand and can tell you that they are high quality products that won't disappoint. Enjoy!

Product~	Description~ -
Magnum 12 Pack Trojan™ $12.99 Each 12 Pack	Looking for a larger sized condom? Magnums offer both greater width and length for extra comfort and room. Additionally, Magnums are tapered at the base for a secure fit.
Twisted Pleasure 12 Pack Trojan™ $14.99 Each 12 Pack	Get ready to make your lover twist and shout! Trojan™ has introduced one of its most fun and innovative condoms; the Twisted Pleasure! Trojan's unique "twist" at the closed end is designed to stimulate both partners in their most sensitive areas. The loose, extreme shape produces an exciting dynamic action that stimulates nerve-endings and heightens sensitivity.
Extended Pleasure 12 Pack Trojan™ $14.99 Each 12 Pack	Trojan was brilliant when they came up with this condom. Trojan's new Extended Pleasure features a "climax control lubricant" with benzocaine inside the condom to gently desensitize and increase staying power. Say good-bye to the 60 second man and hello to the 60 minute man!
Very Sensitive 36 Pack Trojan™ $42.99 Each 36 Pack	This condom uses a unique design and shape that offers increased sensitivity. While the bottom portion of the condom is more tapered, the rest of the condom features an extra wide shape to allow for a looser, more comfortable fit and for better sensation. A highly recommended choice.
Shared Sensation 36 Pack Trojan™ $42.99 Each 36 Pack	Trojan Shared Sensation features alternating rows of raised bumps and ridges for her, and a flared design that's roomy at the top for him. Feels like a ride in the country with your favorite co-pilot.

Sex Drugs: Do They Work~

By Lisa S. Lawless, C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder

Did you ever wonder about those sex herbs you see advertised all over the place? Ever wonder if they actually worked? Sure they promise to turn any one into a raging sex machine and at the same time cure every sexual problem in the book including female sexual dysfunction, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. But can they really deliver - or are they all just a rip-off?

To be honest, most are a rip off. When you use herbs you will need to note that most are going to have a mild side effect, while long term attention to your physical health through exercise, healthy diet, and a physical check up are going to be your best bet.

However, we will review with you what we feel to be your best options for herbs, drugs, and other solutions below-

Sex herbs & drugs claim to do many things.
        Examples include, but are not limited to~

Female Sexual Aide Suggestions-

As with any drug or herb you should always read the warning labels and consult your physician before taking.

~ Aromatherapy-

~ Lavender & marjoram are relaxing and can help you get over emotional trauma regarding
    sex. Also trying a full body massage using these essential oils before sex can be     helpful.
~ To read more about aromatherapy- CLICK HERE

~ Vitamins & Minerals-

~ Take plenty of vitamin A and E, which will help restore the health of the reproductive     system.

~ Vitamin E capsules can be placed inside the vagina to ease pain or dryness.

~ Acidophilus will help to maintain the balance of healthy flora (good bacteria)
    in the body.

~ Flower Essences-

~ Mimulus, for fear of pain during sex.
~ Rescue Remedy or Emergency Essence can be taken before making love to calm and
   reduce feelings of panic and anxiety.
~ To read more about Flower Essences CLICK HERE

~ Acupuncture- To read more about acupuncture CLICK HERE.

Male Sexual Aide Suggestions-

Important to note~ Avoid alcohol, illicit drugs, and caffeine as they constrict the blood
                              vessels and inhibit the flow of blood needed to achieve an erection.

~ Vitamins & Minerals-

~ Vitamin B for the nervous system.
~ Molybdenum can prevent impotence and sexual difficulties.
~ Zinc is required for healthy functioning of the reproductive organs.
~ L-tryptophan may help to prevent feelings of anxiety from sexual difficulties.

~ Chinese Herbs-

~ Ginseng can improve vitality and help to reduce feelings of anxiety.
~ Impotence is believed to be caused by weakness of the kidneys and Liver, with liver chi    stagnation, and cibot root may be useful
~ Chinese angelica, white peony root, and thorowax will aid feelings of anxiety.

~ Aromatherapy-

~ Clary Sage, Sandlewood, Ylang Ylang are natural aphrodisiacs.
~ To read more about aromatherapy- CLICK HERE

~ Acupuncture- To read more about acupuncture CLICK HERE.

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~ Why We Recommend Only Three     Online Dating Services


~ Stories From Our Clients That Used     Online Dating Services


~ Tips & Warnings When Using Online     Dating Services

Why We Recommend Only Three Online Dating Services

Meeting that someone special can be difficult to do. We have found three of the best online dating services and we recommend them to all of our clients. In fact, we have heard back from several of our clients that because of the referrals to these wonderful companies they are now happily married from having met their soul mate on the web! (Their stories are shown below.)

We also want to warn you that many dating services out there make promises of providing vast data bases of potential dates and don't deliver. These three services are not only free to preview, but they are three of the largest, most reputable dating services on the web.
We highly recommend them both. The one that we have gotten the best feedback about is eHarmony.com so we would say that they are our client's number one pick.

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True Stories From Our Clients Using These Dating Services~

Sasha Greensboro, NC

"I met the man I had been waiting for through the eHarmony.com! Thank you for giving me the referral to them. Your providing singles the opportunity to meet one another in a safe and secure environment is priceless. My new husband and I both recommend your site to all our single friends. We had used other sites in the past, but yours was the only one that was organized, user friendly, and had quality advise. eHarmony.com was the best, because there were so many quality people for me to meet, of  course I met the best one of all... my hubby! Thank you for your service."

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"There was never a time that I thought that I would join an on-line dating service, but here I am, now married to the woman of my dreams and laughing about my hesitance. Anyone who is contemplating whether to sign up... all I can say is that you can either live your dreams or dream them. eHarmony.com made mine real and without your referral to them Lisa, I would never have thought about trying one... I thank you and my wife thanks you!"

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We both were looking for someone to share our lives with, and we met through eHarmony.com because I found your site referring them. I went to sign up and literally that night started talking to the most amazing man! It also happened that we lived two towns away from one another! We have been dating ever since, and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you telling me about eHarmony.com. Thanks Lisa... now I can tell people to come to your site to find out about sexual improvement techniques, female ejaculation, and to find a mate! You're the best!

Tips & Warnings When Using Online Dating Services

We really care about our clients, and want the best for you.
We have provided for you some of our recommendations to keep on-line dating fun, easy, meaningful, and most of all safe. Here are some tips on how to do that-

On-line Dating Safety Tips-

1. Be a Skeptic
Here's a place where the old adage "Don't believe everything you read" most definitely applies. People lie on-line just as they do in real life. Areas to be particularly cautious about: Marital status and physical appearance. "Look at your own past experiences in meeting people," suggests Sharyn Wolf, author of Guerrilla Dating Tactics: Strategies, Tips and Secrets for Finding Romance (Plume/Penguin). "Have you generally had good judgment about people? If so, then you can rely on it here too. If not, proceed with caution, and perhaps turn to a friend to help you evaluate someone you've met on-line."

2. Use Tools Wisely
Some on-line personals sites allow you to send and receive e-mail without using your real address. Take advantage of this option if you can. Then use e-mail to get a sense of a person before you further the relationship. "Begin to (anonymously) e-mail back and forth, and learn about the context this person operates in," suggests Wolf. "Where did he grow up? Where does she work? Who are his friends and family? How is she connected to the community in which she lives?" Learning about a person's connections with others is an important way to find out who they really are.

3. Ring My Bell
The phone reveals a lot about a person's social skills, and their ability to communicate spontaneously. But do it on your nickel; don't rush to give a stranger your phone number. Now that you're voice-to-voice, if not yet face-to-face, give yourself the opportunity to get a good feeling for what someone is like before you decide you'd like to meet.

4. Resist the Hard Sell
If you are getting pressured to get together, that's probably a good sign that this is a person you want to steer clear of. Also, continue to keep your antennae up. If, as you are getting to know each other, anything seems off, bow out gracefully.

5. Separate Fantasy From Reality
If e-mail has a downside, it's that it allows you to build up a false sense of intimacy with someone. "A person who writes great e-mail is not necessarily a great person," points out Laura Banks, author of Love On-line (Career Press). No matter how wonderful your e-mail correspondent may seem, try to keep some distance the minute you hear his or her voice, or meet in person, the whole thing may seem wrong. Don't allow your hopes about this person to obscure what you really feel.

6. Use Common Sense
When it is time to meet in the real world, use these hard and fast rules: Don't give out your home or office address; meet in a busy public place during daylight hours; use your own transportation to and from the date; tell a friend where and when you are going; and check in when you get back. There'll be plenty of time for moonlight walks later on!

Your special someone is waiting,
are you ready to meet them?

eharmony.com

DreamMates.com

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