How To Orgasm Faster

This article will explore methods that may help you to orgasm more quickly. As women typically have this issue more than men, it will have a greater focus on suggestions for women. However, rest assured, we also cover tips on how men can have a faster orgasm as well.

Why Would Anyone Want Quicker Sex?

The fear of taking too long to orgasm or not being able to orgasm at all is why most men and women fake orgasms. People often think of orgasming quickly as an indication of attraction, but seasoned lovers know that longer sex can be even more satisfying. That being said, many couples may have limited time or even physical discomfort, or challenges that make having quicker orgasms preferred.

See our Sexual Health Sex Toys that are designed to help overcome physical challenges and health conditions. 

Stress Is The Most Common Orgasm Obstacle

Stress is the most common reason people are unable to orgasm. This can come from internal stress or from feeling pressured by a partner during sex to orgasm. Sometimes, it is simply the desire to please a partner that makes us lose our ability to focus on our own pleasure. This is especially common with women as nurturers they often put the needs of others before their own.

How To Relax During Sex

When having sex with a partner, make sure you can relax, even if you only have a short time to share due to a busy schedule. Allow yourself to have those moments without thinking of the tasks you have around the corner and completely surrender yourself to the moment. This is called mindfulness.

To learn more ways of overcoming sexual, psychological blocks, see our article: Sex & Mindfulness.

The Power Of Breath

We can take a straightforward yet powerful action to relax and find an exquisite orgasm by simply using our breath. By breathing in and out slowly and powerfully, you allow yourself to fall into the natural rhythm of your body. When we are tense, we constrict our breath so mindfully taking deep; full breaths will enable us to relax and fall into a sensual flow with our sexual responses.

See more information through our article: Tantra & Kama Sutra Tips, which features a unique tantric sex breath technique.

Masturbation Helps You Know What Works

Masturbation is a wonderful way to get to know your own sexual preferences without the distraction of a lover. By focusing on your own sexual desires, sensations, and preferences completely, you will be better able to communicate those needs to your partner.

Make sure to have fun with masturbation sessions by caressing your entire body and taking note of what feels right and especially good. Allow yourself time to let your mind wander and fantasize so that you can also get a sense of what you find psychologically arousing as well.

You may also wish to use different masturbation techniques that include sex toys such as stimulating lubricants and vibrators. These can help you determine if using such sex toys are things you might like to incorporate into sex play with your partner.

See our articles on Female Masturbation Tips & Male Masturbation Tips for more information.

Preparing For Sex

Foreplay with your partner or by yourself beforehand can help prepare for a quicker and better orgasmic experience. Begin by having your partner lovingly touch you or enjoy touching yourself to initiate your sexual responses.

Women may want to use a vibrator to have an orgasm before having sex as it makes penetration afterward feel even more amazing and can help achieve multiple orgasms.

Also, squeeze your Kegel muscles to contract your pelvic floor, thus sending sexual messages to your body to get ready for sexual activity. Strengthening your Kegel muscles can make you stronger, tighter and allow for orgasms to come faster as well as make them more powerful. There are some amazing Kegel exercise products on the market today to help you maximize the results.

Make sure to see our articles on How To Do Kegel Exercise as well as How To Use Kegel Weights & Exercisers.

Stimulate the Clitoris

Stimulating the clitoris can sometimes be overlooked during sex, so make sure to appreciate that the clitoris through stimulation via fingers, tongue, lips, penis, or sex toys is essential for a woman. If a man does not understand how important it is to stimulate the clitoris during sexual activity, you can explain that it is the same importance as the head of his penis when it comes to stimulation. Ask him how he would feel if he could only stimulate the lower part of his penis and have no contact with the head, and he will most likely begin to understand. After all, the most arousing part of his penis is the head (specifically the frenulum).

For those looking to spice things up, there are many sex toys designed for couples to use during sex, which can help him last longer and make her climax faster to assist heterosexual couples climax closer together. Lesbian couples can enjoy a wide-range of sex toys some specifically made for two women to use together.

See our article on Sex Toys For Couples and how to use them.

Body Movement Increases Orgasm Rates

A study done by the Journal of Sex Research in 2019, determined that women who moved their bodies back and forth more during sex, rather than staying still, had a greater chance of having an orgasm than those who did not. This was also true even during vaginal intercourse with the clitoris was not being directly stimulated. This means that a woman moving back and forth during sex helps her to climax. It most likely would apply to men as well and so moving one's body during sex helps to achieve orgasms.

Prolong His Orgasm

It can be advantageous for women with male partners to have him learn to control his orgasm to last longer if he is having an orgasm too quickly, and she is not able to orgasm before his climax.

Some men find that thrusting more slowly or pausing during sexual activity helps them to maintain an erection. In addition, some men have found it beneficial to ejaculate before they have sex allowing for some time to build to an erection again. The second time seems to help them last longer. This is particularly effective with younger men who have shorter refractory periods. Senior men may find this more challenging. If you are older, make sure you see our Senior Sex Tips.

You can also try the stop and start technique developed by Masters and Johnson, also known as the squeeze technique. When men feel they are about to ejaculate, they can squeeze the head of the penis between their fingers, which may help them to last longer. In addition to this technique, men can use deep breathing exercises (commonly used in tantra) and strengthen their Kegel muscles. 

Additional ways men can prolong sex:

• Using a masturbation sleeve for practice can also be effective. There are a few masturbation sleeves that are designed for training a man to have longer sex.
  
  
• In addition, some men find that using a penis ring with a second testicle ring on it helps with premature ejaculation. The reason these can be effective is that the second ring holds the testicles away from the body. When a man ejaculates, the testicles pull up into the body, whereas when they are held away from the body, it can delay ejaculation allowing for longer sex.
  
  
• A penis extender may also be helpful as it slides over the penis and covers it from being overstimulated during sexual activity. These can also make a man's penis feel larger.
  
  
• Using a desentizing spray or cream to help numb the penis can also be a useful tool. However, we recommend using a condom when you use such products to prevent rubbing the cream onto your partner and numbing them as well. The condom will also help to desensitize the penis. We also only recommend specific desensitizing sprays due to the health risks of some that are on the market.

Explore our guide on How To Prolong Sex for him with tips and sexual products that can help him achieve longer sex.

Meet With A Physician Or Therapist

If you are having difficulty achieving orgasm regularly, it may be a good idea to review these issues with a physician. Sexual performance and functioning are closely linked to blood circulation in the body. Challenges with erectile dysfunction, female sexual dysfunction, and other sexual health issues can signal that something else is going on that needs medical attention such as diabetes, cardiovascular health, and more. Ruling out medical issues may be saving your life as sexual health symptoms may be related to something more serious.

If you suspect psychological stress when it comes to sexual pleasure, seeking out a therapist specializing in sexual health can be a highly beneficial step toward a fantastic sex life. Review our guides on Sex Therapy & Counseling & Types of Therapy

To get a referral to a therapist specializing in sexual health issues in your area, visit the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists website ASSECT.org.

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