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Premature
Ejaculation
A
Realistic Understanding
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Sound
waves are a proven and very powerful healing tool these
days. Modern medicine now uses sound waves to break up kidney
stones and gallstones.
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Robert
W. Birch, Ph.D.,
Sexologist
& Adult
Sexuality Educator
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We all know
that when a singer hits high notes, they can break a glass by
using their voice, but how does that happen? When a singer vibrates
a glass with their voice, they have matched the sound frequency
of the glass. As the singer increases the volume of their sound,
the resonance becomes too great for the forces that hold the glass
together and it shatters.
The
Problem
Many
men are concerned with their rapid ejaculation. The greatest concern
is expressed among younger men, but many of these settle down
as they age. Most men have had the experience of losing control
in a passionate encounter with a new and exciting woman, but familiarity
typically will take care of this. However, there are men of all
ages who ejaculate rapidly every time, even as they and their
relationship ages.
The
Definition
So,
what is premature ejaculation? The term implies that it happens
early, before it is due, and most men have taken this to mean
that their orgasm occurs before they have had time to enjoy intercourse,
before the woman has had time to enjoy intercourse, or before
the partner has been able to reach her orgasm during intercourse.
Let's start with the last... female orgasms during intercourse.
The reality is that the majority of women do not and can not reach
orgasm during intercourse, no matter how long the man can endure.
There just is not enough clitoral stimulation in the majority
of intercourse positions.
We
don't want anyone to miss the point! Intercourse is not necessarily
the most effective way to bring a woman to orgasm! This is perhaps
why men seem more concerned with the problem than do many of their
partners. Many women enjoy the manual and ora
The
Label
I
prefer the term rapid ejaculation over premature ejaculation,
for I believe it better defines the behavior and carries less
stigma. Some men are fast... they ejaculate rapidly. But how fast
is fast? The average young healthy male with ejaculate in about
3 to 4 minutes with nonstop trusting, and some say that average
is even faster... 2 to 3 minutes. So, let's say that a young man
who ejaculates after three minutes of steady thrusting is within
the average range. I have seen men who could last 5 minutes, but
believed they were premature ejaculators because they thought
they should be able to last as long as they like and ejaculate
at will. Are there men who naturally last 15 minutes or more?
Of course there are, but there are also men who cannot ejaculate
at all. Like I have said, it's on a continuum, from one extreme
where men who ejaculate prior to penetration to those who do not
get there at all.
What's
The Cure?
That answer is easy. There is none, because rapid ejaculation
is not an illness! One highly respected sex therapist claims a
"cure" can be achieved in fourteen weeks, while another says eight
to twelve. The problem with the concept of "cure" is the implication
that once fixed, you can forget all about the illness. A follow-up
study, however, demonstrates the error in this thinking, for this
research found that three years after being "cured," the majority
of the men were ejaculating just as rapidly as they were before
entering therapy. What happens when men expect a cure and professionals
offer it is that once improvement is gained, everyone quits working
on the ejaculatory control and nothing has really been changed!
What
Is The Answer?
That
is like asking, "How do you get to Carnegie Hall." The answer,
"Practice, practice, practice." I believe men can learn effective
strategies for the management of their ejaculatory response. It
is possible to learn what is needed to do to stay in control,
but once learned, a man can never stop managing his response.
I believe it is a long process, but can be a joyful one. Quite
honestly, men who are not in loving relationships with understand
and cooperative women are at a disadvantage. What needs to be
learned and practiced is done best within the context of a healthy
and playful relationship. However, it will help a single male
if he understands the process needed for control and there are
ways the can begin practicing on his own.
Look
For The Easy Answers
I
think we all wish there were easy answers for life's toughest
problems. Unfortunately, sex therapists have promised a quick
behavioral cure, hypnotists have claimed success through post-hypnotic
suggestion, and doctors have prescribed pills that are hyped as
the "magic bullet". The reality is, some men do well with sex
therapy, others really do not learn what they should have learned.
Hypnosis might certainly help a man relax, which is important
in learning control, but there is more to mastering the reflex
than just relaxation. Some men respond to the medications being
prescribe, but the effect wears off for some, others experience
no change, and some temporarily lose their ability to ejaculate
at all. Some men have even reported that the medication interferes
with their ability to obtain an erection.
Unfortunately,
the men who have been ejaculating within seconds for the past
thirty years are probably reaching orgasm too quickly to have
time to begin practicing what needs to be practiced. For these
men, the medication might be one of the first things to tried.
The good news is that any negative side effects only last as long
as the man is taking the drug. The bad new is that any positive
side effects also only last as long as the man is taking the drug!
Unless a man is willing to take a medication for as long as he
wishes to sexual, he should not look at the drug as a "cure."
For some it will allow a man time to relax, worry less, and work
on the things he must work on to learn effective control.
From
the site- The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors
and Therapists (AASECT)
you can request the names of qualified sex therapists practicing
in your geographic area. If you are uncertain about what sex therapy
is, go to my page which offers an Introduction to Sex Therapy.
Many men will want to try on their own before investing time and
money in seeing a therapist.
The
following are items that we offer
that focus on ejaculation control-
eBooks
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Our Low Price-
$19.99
eBook Download
178 pages
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The
Ultimate Ecstatic Solution to Premature Ejaculation
By Jeffre & Somraj
Learn
to prevent premature ejaculation forever naturally with
our best-selling ebook for men and their lovers, Ultimate
Ejaculation Mastery. It offers powerful exercises, explicit
sex tips, and proven advice that explain the ultimate Tantric
approach to making love for as long as your partner wants,
while you experience more ecstasy than you ever imagined
possible.
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Our Low Price-
$24.99
Soft Cover
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Male
Sexual Endurance
By
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D
Dr.
Birch graphically portrays the positions of intercourse
in which ejaculatory control can best be practiced. No other
book on the market addresses the issue of coital positioning
as a factor in prolonging mutual sexual pleasure during
intercourse. This book is not just about premature ejaculation
and ejaculatory control. It is also about effective sexual
communication, joyful sexual caress, and playful erotic
experimentation. Within these pages, there are messages
to be learned that will be good for a lifetime.
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Products
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Maintain
Erections
Use
Stay Hard to stay longer! Sta Hard® desensitizing lubricant
provides greater staying power and prolongs the sexual pleasure
of both partners. The lubricant is clear and odorless.
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Anal
Eze
Anal-Eze
is one of the best know anal desensitizing cream available!
Anal Eze is highly recommended for both men and women; and
if you are just starting to explore the fantastic joys of
anal play, you definitely owe it to yourself to use Anal-Eze!
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Aloerect
ALOERECT
won't give you an erection like Viagra, if you are able
to achieve erections normally, one application daily will
give you the strength and firmness of a gladiator.
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Yohimbe
Yohimbe
is a popular herb coming originally from South Africa and
known worldwide as an excellent aphrodisiac. Yohimbe not
only improves sexual functioning, it has also shown to elevate
mood, reduce anxiety and depression, prevent heart attacks,
helps building muscles, and has many other positive effect
on overall health.
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