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Twilight-
What I Uncovered
Those
of you who are long time fans of my work, may be wondering
why on earth I would be writing about Twilight, but
I found some pretty interesting things to share with
you all and wanted to take you on my journey of figuring
out what the mass draw is, why people also dislike it,
how you can better your relationship from gleaning some
underlying romantic themes, sexual controversies about
it and my favorite, which are the crazy sexual products
inspired by it.
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Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
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My
Own Twilight Experience
This
story begins when I was in the video store and happened to
see promotional materials for the movie Twilight: Eclipse,
along with the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob materials. I had
seen advertisements for the movies and had no idea what they
were about, other than vampires and werewolves. I had assumed
that they appealed to teenagers and vampire fans and never
gave it much consideration.
Out
of curiosity, I asked what Twilight was about and was told
that it was not a typical vampire movie, rather, it was more
of a love story and that is why so many women love it. I looked
at the helpful video store employee and said...
"Well,
you mean a love story for young girls and teenagers right?"
"No,"
he said, with great enthusiasm, "any age, even grandmothers
love these movies and of course these were inspired by the
books by Stephenie Meyer."
Then
another employee came out and said that she had gotten it
for her 14 year old niece, but once she saw it, she was hooked
and she matter of factually informed me that she is 38 years
old and is for Team Jacob. I was a bit taken back by her reference
to choosing a team, but I was more focused on the smile she
had on her face; it was as if she was sharing something that
seemed to light her up inside. I found myself smiling in disbelief
and was intrigued.
I
shrugged and got the first movie- Twilight and sat down on
a Sunday afternoon to take it in with an open mind. By the
end of the movie, my husband, who had already seen it when
it had first came out and had not been very impressed, peeked
in and asked if I had liked it. I sheepishly smiled and told
him I was hooked.
I
told him it reminded me of us and he shrugged, not seeing
how I was comparing our relationship to a vampire story. I
laughed, realizing that he had only seen it because he had
thought it was going to be an exciting horror movie, as he
loves those. At the time, I could not articulate my thoughts
well enough to explain to him why it had moved me so much
and made me think of him; so I decided to spend some time
analyzing what it was that I liked so much and how to explain
what made me feel closer to my husband because of it.
I mean, there was the obvious reason... my husband and I met
in high school and have an incredible, unconditional, loving
relationship and while he does not sparkle on the outside,
when I look in his eyes, he does from the inside.
However,
there was more to it. The
more I loved this movie series and eventually the books, the
more I became a woman with a mission.
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felt that what I had discovered for myself was something
I wanted to share, not just with my husband, but anyone
who would listen. The things I learned were meaningful
& even funny.
The
Twilight Phenomenon
I
spent some time online, researching and learning more
about the book and movie series. I began reading and
watching videos on the media frenzy and my head started
to spin. I felt like I had been living in a bubble,
not to have known how insane the popularity of this
was. I found that there were women that had created
social groups around the series. I watched an older
Oprah episode that had the cast on for the Eclipse premier
and had gotten a group of women that called themselves
the Twimoms (Twilight moms) with an official web site
to boot.
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As
I watched the intensity of the fans, I almost felt a bit sorry
for the actors (especially Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart
and Taylor Lautner) as they have become so intertwined with
the characters of this story in the press and I wondered how
they were handling all of this projection of fantasy by so
many wild fans. At the same time, I thought, how fortunate
for them... after all, what a successful career boost.
Needless
to say, the reaction to the Twilight story was amazing to
me, but I also realized that many people were missing some
of the most important reasons for this, because, despite the
excellent casting of these roles... there is something much
more powerful than the actors and even the story that is the
driving force behind the Twilight success, which I will explore
shortly.
Negative
Reactions To Twilight
Certainly,
the Twilight series is not for everyone and it is not without
flaws; things such as a few illogical character reactions
to spelling and grammatical errors (someone needs a better
editor) are certainly a struggle at times for the audience.
So for those of you who disliked it for perfectly good reasons,
I am not attempting to change your mind. Rather, there are
some things it does bring up, which I think are important.
In my
research, I did find that many of the
articles on the Internet took a superficial look as to why
women love Twilight; talking about how women love vampires
and bad boys, etc. I was a bit blown away by how many people
seemed to be missing the universal aspects and draw of the
story.
Twilight
Sexual Controversies
As an
aside, I found some controversial things regarding sexuality
when I was doing research for this article that have come
from interviews, etc. One of the funniest ones was the comment
that Robert Pattinson made about having had a photo shoot
with nude models in Details Magazine. Robert
was quoted as saying "I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic
to vagina," when he was asked about the photo shoot.
What I
learned of Robert, is that he tends to have a Monty Python
style when giving interviews and often says outlandish things,
which is unfortunately lost on most of the American press.
I saw people online speculating that this meant he was gay
(not that it should matter). Later, in a interview on ABC's
show The View, he said that making such jokes
often led to him having to explain them in later interviews.
I suppose
that is the price of making saucy comments like that... I
am sure I would get some upset emails if I joked that I hated
cock; especially, if you could not see that I was being COMPLETELY
sarcastic. Nonetheless, I found the whole thing amusing; not
to mention the absurd rumor that he is pregnant and hiding
it, according to one tabloid.
Another
controversy goes both ways when it comes to the sexuality
of the story. Stephenie Meyer has been criticized for being
too risqué for a younger audience, while at the same
time, she has been criticized for having Mormon-influenced
ideas on sexuality and abstinence. What I found was that she
has stated that she had not consciously intended her novels
to be Mormon influenced or promote sexual abstinence and as
for the audience, she wrote the books for herself, not targeting
a certain age group.
The
Unrealistic Fantasy
One
of the most compelling things I read, were from men complaining
that the Twilight story fueled an unrealistic fantasy that
they could never live up to. I thought to myself, whoa, hold
the phone... we need to educate couples that while fantasies
do have elements to them that are not realistic, the underlying
themes of the Twilight series are completely obtainable.
So,
I made my way back to my original question regarding the Twilight
story... which was - what was it that made so many women love
this series and why were so many like giddy teenagers that
had fallen in love for the first time when they experienced
it?
Key
Components of Passion in Twilight
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Youthful
Feelings Of Love: Yearning
& Longing
It is good to be hungry for passion, and one could say
that the Vampire theme is a metaphor of this when it
comes to the Twilight story. We tend to lose our hunger
(passion) in our long-term relationships as we trade
it in for stability. But
we need to be reminded of our hunger for one another
from time to time and while we will never recapture
the initial excitement of a honeymoon period, there
are certainly ways to keep rediscovering one another
and make a long-term relationship exciting and invigorating.
There
is also a deeper kind of love that is only known from
a long relationship that grows as it allows partners
to evolve through experiences. After all, Edward and
Bella, while they may be immortal in the end, are not
perfect. Like all couples that go the distance, they
are going to have to deal with their every day lives,
but even more so to say the least.
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Unconditional
Love
Understanding how rare unconditional love is allows
us to better appreciate the relationship we have when
we are in one that has it. One of the ultimate things
that all humans desire, is to be loved as we are. The
movie Avatar
captured this when they used the expression "I
see you." It is the human experience to desire
having a witness to our life and know that despite our
struggles, we can be loved and love another completely.
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Love
That Transcends Time
The idea that we will be loved forever, lends itself
to the constant desire we have as humans to be remembered
and loved, even when we are no longer in this life.
The idea that we will always be loved is comforting
and can be seen through many examples in our daily life,
such as memorials, sharing our personal stories and
heirlooms.
Also,
there is a fierce and strong beauty to our temporary
lives... as every time I hug and kiss my husband, I
know it may be the last time that I get to do it in
this life and that is something far more tender and
endearing than knowing we are guaranteed tomorrow. It
is also something that Edward and Bella ultimately do
not have (unless they piss off the Volturi).
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Romantic
Drama & Conflict
Life would be pretty boring if we always knew what was
coming. The unknown brings an edgy feeling that we could
lose something very precious to us and often we live
under the delusion that we know what tomorrow holds,
which, if done for too long can dampen our passions.
When
we fall in love, we take a leap of faith that we may
be terribly hurt if we pursue it. Romance is often more
strongly felt and even more passionate when we have
to overcome fear to get it. It is why courtship can
be a strengthening tool for a relationship. We better
understand what the love we feel means to us and what
is at stake if we were to lose it. It is this awareness
that makes us feel alive and passionate and often times,
daily tasks divert our attention from the risks we took
to come into a relationship in the first place.
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Loyalty
In every relationship, there is the question of holding
on or letting go. What makes us loyal when we feel insecure,
bored and even frustrated defines us. It shows integrity
to give of ourselves and it is an attractive aspect for
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Restraint
& Will Power
A truly romantic gesture on Edward's part can be seen
in the first movie, where he is able to only take enough
blood to save Bella from the venom that is killing her,
despite her blood being his "own personal heroin"
and something that he is not sure that he can restrain
himself regarding.
Showing
this kind of restraint in not harming the ones we love
through our behavior is something that many of us struggle
to do, despite our best efforts. From the daily frustrations
that cause us to disrespect or even lash out at our
partner to avoiding the temptations of dishonesty and
even infidelity. Showing restraint around those things
that we know can hurt our partners is one of the deepest
ways we can show love.
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The
Road Less Traveled & Being Unique
Edward had not known true love until Bella came along
and it gives light to the desire that we want to be
thought of as unique, precious and irreplaceable. It
is a deep desire that most people feel and is seen within
the Twilight story. Bella is also an embodiment of "any
woman" as her appearance is of the girl next door
and she is loved for her kind heart and strength, not
her appearance. We all want to be seen for what is inside
us and appreciated for who we are and this story embraces
that.
The
other aspect is that Bella is choosing a road less traveled
and it is her journey that also makes a more interesting
life experience. Doing things that showcase our unique
talents, tastes and desires makes us feel more connected
to ourselves and others. Being loved for this is a most
wonderful and validating feeling.
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Chivalry
Women's roles have greatly changed over the years and
while many of us are mothers, career women and more; what
is sometimes lost on men, is that while women don't need
men the way we used to, we still want and desire them
and we most definitely want to be nurtured, respected,
treated well and loved by them. In fact, it would seem
more flattering to men in this light... it validates that
while we are not dependent on you, we still passionately
want you and want you to want us. It is why Edward opening
the door for Bella, watching over her, protecting her,
nurturing her is so damn hot! |
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Desire
One of the sexier scenes in the first Twilight movie,
is when Edward tells Bella not to move so he can come
in slowly to kiss her. Just before he does, he smiles
and makes a small sigh; one that reminded me of another
scene in the 1993 movie True Romance,
when Christian Slater takes a look at Patricia Arquette
in the phone booth before he ravages her and does a
similar expression, as through he is looking at the
juiciest apple he has ever seen.
To
be desired is something most anyone will tell you feels
good and is pretty much a no-brainer as to why this
is appealing.
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The
Forbidden
The intrigue of Edward wanting Bella, even though he
knows he shouldn't draw her into such a cursed life,
demonstrates a level of uncontrollable yearning and
the reckless abandon that love often drives us to feel.
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Jealousy
During many scenes we see jealousy between the characters
Edward and Jacob and women love this. Often jealousy
is seen as a bad thing, and it can be when taken to
extremes. However, some jealousy can be a sign that
you love and appreciate your partner and want
to share something unique and special between just the
two of you. Wanting your partner to desire you in this
way is something that most everyone has felt at one
time or another.
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The
New Take on Power Vs. Submission
Women are often dealing with a thousand details every
day. Our to do lists are often in the triple digits
and we never have enough time to get everything we want
done. The idea of someone that loves us, coming in and
showing us love and support without us asking for it.
Yum! Having a man take control by doing the dishes,
putting the kids to bed and then kissing my neck and
telling me how beautiful I am... well, honey... you
had me at the clank of the dishes going in the dishwasher.
Edward
represents this kind of power in an old school kind
of way... he intuits what Bella wants and needs and
men should take note of how powerful this can be.
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Sex
& Death
An element that
plays a part in the Twilight series is the play of energy
between sex and death. There is something so powerful
to the idea that the kind of sexual intensity that Edward
feels toward Bella will get so passionate that he may
lose control and the sex could be so exciting that she
could die. It is an extreme aspect that is appealing
when it comes to this story, but certainly something
neither of them really wants. It does create for some
dramatic, passionate scenes though and something that
can't be ignored.
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TwiSex
(Twilight Sex)
Bringing
the Romance of Twilight into the Bedroom
Exploring
How To Ignite The Passion That It Inspires
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Express
Your Love
Many people tell their significant other that they love
one another all the time. In fact, I personally say
it instead of goodnight or good-bye when I speak with
my husband as I always want it to be the last thing
he hears me say. However, what is even more powerful,
is when one of us has a "moment," when we
just step out of our daily grind for a minute and really
just let ourselves become overwhelmed with love for
the other. My husband and I don't hesitate to run over
and hug the other and tell each other what we are feeling
and just kiss one another. It is one way that we keep
our passion ignited.
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Romantic
Quote from Edward In Twilight:
"Before
you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night.
Very dark, but there were stars, points of light
and reason. And then you shot across my sky like
a meteor. Suddenly, everything was on fire, there
was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were
gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon,
everything went black. Nothing had changed, but
my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't
see stars anymore. And there was no more reason
for anything."
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Another
way we can express our love is through small gestures
every day. One of the things my husband always does
for me is gives me the best of whatever there is...
for example, if he is making a meal and there is a choice
of a juicier tomato or better made pancake, he always
gives it to me. He still does that for me after all
our years of marriage and it brings a tear to my eye
just to share that with you.
Don't
be shy, we have but one life to live, and all our moments
count. Express your love.
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Break
Your Routines
Nothing
kills romance faster than taking someone for granted
and that can easily be created by getting stuck in monotonous
routines. Make sure that you bring awareness to the
true passions you have for life and for your partner.
Starting
with yourself is important, as it is when we feel that
we are not living our life by giving passionately to
and of ourselves, that we can easily numb ourselves
to receiving love as well. Dare to ask yourself what
is important to you in this short life and like a bucket
list, start making steps toward fulfillment of them.
Share
them with your partner and ask them to explore their
own passions. Then hold hands and take flight in making
those things happen.
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Be
Chivalrous
Do not underestimate how much respect, appreciation
and love can be shown through chivalry. A simple gesture
can show adoration, such as opening a car door, making
sure she has a coat when it is cold and pulling her
chair out for her.
Personally,
I like to show my husband those types of gestures of
affection as well... nothing says to my husband, that
I care about him, like putting a warm blanket on him
when he is watching TV or opening the door for him.
Don't forget it should go both ways.
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Go
On Verbal Dates
Don't forget about the importance of just the two of
you. Dates are meant to help you connect with one another
and going to dinner and a movie is nice, but one of
my favorite kind of dates is simply curling up with
my husband and just talking. We are always making each
other laugh and there is nothing better to spark intimacy
when we just talk to one another about anything and
everything.
Sometimes
couples actually find they stop talking to their significant
other like they would a friend. It is important to treat
your partner as a friend not just a lover. Remember
to tell one another about things you experience, dream
about, feel and desire and never stop making one another
laugh and have fun.
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Soul
Gaze
My hubby and I joked about how much staring there was
in the first movie and we have begun these comedic,
smoldering looks from across a room to make each other
laugh. Sometimes, we do a staring standoff or when my
husband does it, I laugh and say in a naughty tone,
"You want to bite me don't you?"
However,
recently, when we were discussing me writing this article,
we agreed often times, in a long-term relationship,
you forget to really look at one another in their eyes
and do what many call soul-gazing as used in Tantric
sex.
In
Tantric Soul Gazing, it is believed that the eyes are
the gateway to the soul. Quick tips to soul gazing,
which can be done during sex or during sexual activity:
Quiet
you mind and focus on your breath and the love you feel
for your partner. Slowly breath in and out in a rhythmic
fashion. With you left eye, look into your partner's
left eye and let your right eye relax. To feel the energetic
connection you make with one another, move closer and
further away and become aware of the change in connection
you feel. Do this for as long as you desire, but know
that the power of your mind to let go and completely
surrender yourself to your partner will make all the
difference.
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Explore
& Get Creative
Many couples have a hard time getting creative in the
bedroom, not just because they do not know the latest
sexual positions or sex techniques (which you can read
all about through our sex technique
articles), but it is the fear of breaking out of the
norm that keeps them from letting go. I am not suggesting
that you delve into whips and chains, although that could
be really hot ;-)... what I am suggesting is that you
let go of worrying so much. Let go of being self conscious,
how else are you going to know what unconditional love
is, if you cannot fully be yourself around your partner?
If sex scares you, start off small. Make a project of
drawing, painting, or even sculpting a sensual piece of
art. Write a poem, song or do any other creative thing
that appeals to you with the intention of making it sensually
creative and then share it with your partner. You may
find that is really all it takes to get things moving
toward getting hot and heavy. |
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If
All Else Fails
Buy a Volvo S60R or C30, gold contacts, pour glitter on
yourself and your lover, stare at them for long times,
slowly kiss them until you just can't help giving them
a bite. |
Twilight
Sexual Products
As
I was researching the Twilight series, I came across two sexual
products related to it and of course they are not endorsed
in anyway by anyone working with the Twilight series.
The
first product, I found out about was through an interview
that Robert Pattinson (who plays Edward) had. He was discussing
some of the weird products that are being marketed with his
image on them. He laughed and said that there was someone
pushing "Twilight Glitter Lube." I have to say he
seemed to have a rather good sense of humor about it and found
the whole Edward Cullen Glitter Lubricant idea amusing.
Out
of curiosity, I looked for who was trying to pass this crazy
idea off and thankfully, I could not find it. All I can say
about Glitter lube, if you find it, avoid it! Personal lubricants
with any type of glitter would not be advised for good sexual
health. I do not want to even think about how one would get
it out or what kind of toxins it may have in it and I am not
referring to vampire toxins.
There
is nontoxic hair and body glitter that works well and we have
that offered below. You use this, special Twilight
contacts and you are good to go. You may want to blast
the song Supermassive Black Hole by Muse or if you are in
a more contemplative mood, the Van Morrison style Robert Pattinson
song - Never Think. :-)
The
second product is a sparkly white dildo called the Vamp by
Tantus. Tantus is a solid sex toy company; they make high
quality, medical grade silicone sex toys and I felt a little
mixed about the whole idea of a dildo that sparkled like a
vampire. However, for those who crave adventure I can tell
you that if you want one, we are offering it below just for
this article.
These
products are only offered on this page and are not found anywhere
else on this site as they are specific to the Twilight article.
Please
note that as mentioned in the article above, these ARE NOT official
Twilight products. So, if you were thinking that Robert Pattinson
signed off on an Edward Cullen Dildo, you would not only be mistaken,
but may have fallen off a cliff into the ocean of insanity.
We
are offering these products with a HUGE sense of humor and hope
that you get a kick out of them as we did. Honestly, adding the
vampire sparkly dildo to our site is one of the funniest things
we have ever done.
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The
Vamp Dildo
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Vampire
Teeth
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Body
Glitter
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The
Vamp by Tantus is made from 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone and
retains hot and cold temperature.
Length: 6 3/4"
Insertable: 6 1/4" Circumference: 5"
Diameter:1 1/2"
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While
Twilight vampires do not have fangs, you can always add for
a cool effect. These snap on teeth use a patented molding
system ensures a perfect fit that will not interrupt your
speech and are made with a safe, Nontoxic dental material.
They are easy to use and are reusable.
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Shimmer
like a Vampire with this nontoxic Stardust Glitter. Comes
in a 2-ounce plastic jar. The glitter can easily be applied
to the skin or hair. The special formula lasts for hours and
washes off easily.
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Hot
Sexual Topics
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