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Home
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» Vaginismus
Vaginismus-
Painful Sex
Resources
& Product Suggestions
- Help
for Women To Overcome Vaginal Pain & Painful Sex
- AKA-
Tight Vagina, Secondary Vaginismus, Dyspareunia
- Vaginismus:
Pronounced Vaj-uh-niz-muhs
(Rhymes with Vajun -Christmas)
What
is Vaginismus? Simply put is is an overly tight vagina. Now,
I know many of you may be thinking... the tighter the better,
right?
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By
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sex Expert
CEO
& Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS
Copyright
© Holistic Wisdom, Inc.
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The
diagram above shows the tightening of the pelvic floor
muscles which result in extreme tightness of the vagina.
This in turn causes painful sex and in some very extreme
cases can make it impossible to penetrate the vaginal
opening.
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Related
Articles
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However,
in the case of Vaginismus,
it is not a desirable problem to have, as it causes a great
deal of pain for the woman that has it and is caused by involuntary
contractions of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina.
As a woman who has struggled with Vaginismus, I can tell you
from personal experience that it makes for painful sex and
makes vaginal penetration extremely challenging.
The
good news is that it is easy to treat and the rate of successful
treatment is very high. What I do want to point out is that
it does require stretching exercises and they are imperative
in order to treat this medical condition.
In
this article, I will review the causes, complications and
how to easily treat Vaginismus. I will also review some of
the helpful products we carry that can help with the stretching
exercises.
If
you or someone you love suffers from vaginismus, please know
that there is no reason why you cannot have a great sex life
and overcome this medical problem.
Vaginismus
Vaginismus
is a main cause of sexless and unconsummated relationships.
The tightening of the pelvic muscles cause the vaginal opening
to become painfully tight and in some cases impenetrable.
A woman, in the case of vaginismus, cannot control the tightness
as it is an involuntary response.
In fact,
a woman may not even know it is happening until she attempts
to have sexual intercourse, insert a tampon or sex toy. When
this happens, the pain from penetration is often a combination
of a dull muscle ache along with mild to intense burning and
stinging where the friction is occurring. The pain goes away
shortly after intercourse or penetration ceases.
It can be an ongoing condition that has to be regularly treated,
however, it can also be treated and sometimes go away afterward.
It can happen to any woman, even those who have had children
by means of vaginal birth.
Vaginismus
Physical Causes
Vaginismus
is a medical condition. It has various possible causes as
well as things that may influence its development as shown
below. However, there is currently not a complete understanding
on what specifically causes it.
We
feel strongly that the medical community should do further
research on this sexual disorder that affects so many women
and are encouraging this to occur through medical practitioners
as well as helping sex toy manufacturers to provide more helpful
products for this condition.
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Possible
Medical Causes
Urinary tract infections or urination problems, yeast infections,
sexually transmitted diseases, endometriosis, genital or pelvic
tumors, cysts, cancer, vulvodynia / vestibulodynia, pelvic inflammatory
disease, lichen planus, lichen sclerosus, eczema, psoriasis,
vaginal prolapse, pelvic scarring, gastrointestinal disorders
and more. |
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Age
Related Changes
Menopause and hormonal changes, vaginal dryness / inadequate
lubrication, vaginal atrophy |
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Child
Birth
Pain from normal or difficult vaginal deliveries and complications,
c-sections, miscarriages, etc. |
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Pelvic
Trauma
Any type of pelvic surgery, difficult pelvic examinations, or
other pelvic trauma. |
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Medications
Side-effects may cause pelvic pain. |
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Extended
Sitting
Pressure down on the pelvic floor over time can contribute to
tightening. |
Vaginismus Psychological Influences
While
Vaginismus is a medical condition, in some cases it can be brought
on by psychological stressors. Some of the various psychological
causes are as shown below-
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Fear
Fear or anticipation of intercourse pain, fear of not being
completely physically healed following pelvic trauma, fear of
tissue damage (ie. "being torn"), fear of getting pregnant,
concern that a pelvic medical problem may reoccur, etc. |
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Anxiety
or Stress
General anxiety, performance pressures, previous unpleasant
sexual experiences, negativity toward sex, guilt, emotional
traumas, or other unhealthy sexual emotions |
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Child
Birth
Pain from normal or difficult vaginal deliveries and complications,
c-sections, miscarriages, etc. |
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Pelvic
Trauma
Any type of pelvic surgery, difficult pelvic examinations, or
other pelvic trauma |
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Abuse
Physical attack, rape, sexual/physical abuse or assault |
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Partner
Issues
Abuse, emotional detachment, fear of commitment, distrust, anxiety
about being vulnerable, losing control, etc. |
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Sexual
Assault & Abuse
Past emotional/sexual abuse, witness of violence or abuse, repressed
memories |
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Trauma
Overly rigid parenting, unbalanced religious teaching (ie."Sex
is BAD"), exposure to shocking sexual imagery, inadequate sex
education. |
Myths Regarding Vaginismus
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Comes
From Being Frigid
Women who are having pain during sex are not frigid, and are
experiencing a real medical condition. |
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It
Will Go Away
Vaginismus will not go away on its own and does require treatment.
The sooner the better, as it will get worse if left untreated.
The most important thing to understand is that this is an treatable
condition and there are many women that have it and have overcome
it. |
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Just
Relaxing Will Help
Changing one's diet, relaxing through mediation, drinking a
glass of wine and even getting stimulated sexually will not
make vaginismus go away. While relaxing during sex is always
a great idea, this will not affect the muscles strong contraction
as this is a medical condition not a psychological one. |
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Sex
Is Supposed To Hurt
Sex should not cause unwanted pain (unless it is the first time)
and the hymen is being stretched or ripped for the first time.
If sex is painful on an ongoing basis, there is something wrong
and symptoms should be explored to determine what is going on.
Sex should be pleasurable. |
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Keep
Trying To Have Sex- Despite The Pain
If you try and keep having sex without stretching and working
through this condition you will only traumatize the vagina and
cause a psychological resistance to sexual intercourse. It is
important to stop sexual intercourse until you can stretch the
vaginal muscles enough that it is comfortable. |
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Women
Who Have It Have Been Sexually Abused
This is a myth as many women with no history of sexual abuse
have vaginismus. It is not a psychological condition, it is
a physical condition, that while be impacted by psychological
conditions is not caused by them. |
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My
Partner Is Too Big
Even if your partner is well endowed, it should not cause ongoing
pain, difficult entry and even bleeding after an initial acclimation
period. With vaginismus it will often be difficult for a man
to even enter the vagina without pain and that pain will continue
once he has entered. |
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Surgery
Is The Answer
Absolutely not. Vaginismus cannot be correct by surgery as it
is muscle contractions that cause it. There are some surgeries
that can correct a firm or thick hymen or other malformation
of the vaginal opening, but vaginismus is not one of them. |
Treatment
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Stretch,
Stretch, Stretch
The key to treatment is to stretch the vaginal walls gradually.
Here are suggestions on how to do that-
- Use
one's lubricated finger to push slowly around the tight
opening with a firm, but not overwhelming push. Think of
it as through you are giving a pleasant massage. Pushing
around in circles can be helpful at first and then introducing
two fingers slowly and pushing in circles is a good idea.
- You
can also use sex toys that are specifically geared toward
gradual opening of the vagina as shown below. Using the
graduated dildos, speculums and balloons help the pressure
against the contracted muscles not feel overwhelming or
painful. Products shown at bottom of the page.
- If
tightness comes back, keep stretching to relieve the symptoms.
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Go
Slowly
Do not go into stretching exercises with the goal of having
sexual intercourse right afterward until you have done it
a few times, especially if the vaginismus is severe. This
will put unnecessary psychological pressure on the woman and
may inhibit the stretching process.
Make sure
to communicate with your partner what feels uncomfortable
and back off when there is pain.
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Relax
While just relaxing will not make vaginismus go away, it can
help in the stretching process. Using things that help you
relax, like a massage, a hot bath, music, meditation, a glass
of wine, etc. are excellent in helping the treatment to be
successful.
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See
Helpful Products
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help to gently stretch stressed vaginal muscles and allow for
the vaginal walls to relax and gradually make sex less painful
and more enjoyable. |
Make
sure that you are not only using lubricants that are nontoxic
but ones that can actually providing healing and promote increased
vaginal health. These can be used on a daily basis. |
Improving
the strength of Kegel muscles helps to improve vaginal functioning,
sexual arousal and slows down the affects of vaginal aging. |
These
help to increase blood flow the the vaginal area and increases
healing and sexual arousal and greatly assist in helping with
painful sex. |
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| Keeping
sex toys cleans helps to prevent bacteria and painful Urinary
Tract Infections. |
Using
sex position pillows can assist in making sexual intimacy more
comfortable, especially when there are issues like - arthritis,
joint pain, back pain and other issues related to aging or a
disability. |
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