Repression & The Superficial For centuries women have often been taught to repress their sexuality. Even today we still have people using derogatory terms for a woman who embraces her sexuality and her sensual nature. There are still people who believe that women are not meant to enjoy sex and are to focus on the pleasure of a male partner. We are slowly coming around, yet it seems in a rather superficial manner. Most of the focus of a woman's sexuality today is about her appearance.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

This is far from a woman's most powerful part of her sexual nature; and yet we see the pendulum swing between repression of our sexuality to a superficial focus on it.

All women have a beautiful, sensual goddess that longs to feel the psychological freedom of being a sexually potent female. Yet, this is often minimized by focus on our physical features and little more.

Frequently in our society women are conditioned to focus on their physical appearance. An underlying reason is to have control over others through sexual attraction and intimidation... by landing a partner and outshining our competition. This is such a primitive approach to sexuality and often confuses the true underlying emotional, mental and spiritual needs of a woman and those she encounters.

Evolved and healthy sexuality is not about having power over others, it is about feeling empowered about ourselves. There is a big difference here and it is unmistakable to those who have experienced it. There is an emancipation of one's spirit and a sense of waking up and realizing that many women are simply acting as sheep in a heard... buying one type of thing after another in the hopes of looking, as Paris Hilton likes to say... "hot."

My hope is that women will shift their focus toward themselves so that they may be more fulfilled and less preoccupied with seeking love and acceptance in self deprecating ways.

This is not to say that taking care of one's self is not healthy or a wonderful thing. I think that it is very important and things that make us feel our best are positive. However, what we do for ourselves should be done out of self love, not low self esteem. Focusing on the need to be better than others, to have power over someone by being physically attractive is such a waste of our time. What do we really achieve?

Anyone can screw someone; it takes a sexually confident woman to unleash her sexuality in a way that empowers herself and others-

Imagine a woman who can enjoy her sexuality and share that enjoyment with her partner. That is a woman who knows wondrous joy and lives life to the fullest.

Imagine a woman who embraces her sensuality; who isn't acting like she is on the red carpet posing for cameras, but is fully involved in sharing herself in conversation with a smile that fills the room.

You know the type of person... when they walk in the room you can't help but feel their presence? The one who has a strong sense of life and is truly present with where they are in that moment.

A woman who loves herself, her sexuality, her sensual nature is a woman who is embracing such an important part of herself. It should be encouraged for women to feel empowered sexually in our society as it makes us more whole.

When a woman represses that part of herself, is repressed by others or becomes fixated on how she looks... there is a sense that a key component is missing in her life. Yet, because most women are so conditioned to focus on repression or superficial aspects, they often don't even know why they feel dissatisfied.

Being A Sexually Empowered Woman

What makes one woman feel sexually empowered can be different from one to the next. However, it begins with asking the question of what make her feel good about herself when she is not focused on what others think of her.

Letting go of messages that it is wrong to masturbate is also a good place to start. There is nothing to feel shame about; it is a beautiful thing to bring yourself pleasure, and there is no wrong way to do it. I have often said that it is important to learn what pleases us through masturbation first so that we can in turn tell our partners what makes us feel good later. Masturbation allows us to take the focus off of what are partner is doing or thinking and turn our attention to what is really important to us. It is a wonderful place to begin learning about what moves us, what makes us feel good, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.

Also doing things that pamper ourselves such as hot bubble baths, meditation, wearing clothes that feel good to the touch and other pleasing behaviors are all ways that we can open ourselves to our creativity, our self love and a healthy sense of our sexuality and life.

It is time to see a new revolution of sexuality in women.. not one of defensiveness, repression or superficial focus, but a revolution that leads us to a more evolved place... a self empowered sexuality that exudes the best of who we can be.