Working In The Field Of Sexuality
         So, What Do You Do For A Living?

It's a common question, and one I am sure you have been asked many times before... "So, what do you do for a living?" This is as you can imagine a question that can be rather interesting when you own a company that focuses on sexuality. I mean, I don't want to blurt out at a PTA meeting that I run a sexual health business in front of a crowd of parents and kids. Those are the nights I will keep it to being a therapist.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

When I am in a more open atmosphere, like when I get my hair cut or getting my oil changed, I will typically say I run a sexual health business and then pause for their reaction to see how much more I should say. I guess I have become pretty bold in telling people about it.

What's It Really Like?

He laughed and said that a lot of them did probably buy into the fantasy of what that might be like, and here we were having a boring business meeting about inventory and shipping policies. "Fun stuff," I said as we all laughed about it and continued talking about the change in Canadian customs forms for shipping. Exciting eh?

The bottom line, we run a business and it has all the mundane details of any business from accounting to customer service. What we sell is really not much different than any other "widget" out there.

My Vanilla Life

Everyone has their own perception of what this must be like... from thinking that we must be the most sexually talented people out there, to being the most promiscuous. I have to laugh because those who know me well, know that I am rather conservative when it comes to my own sexual preferences. I enjoy having a stable, monogamous relationship with my husband, and spending time with my family. A big night of fun for me is renting a movie or going out to dinner. There is no sex party going on at my house, and the idea of one is as foreign to me as living in Antarctica.

I guess as is anything in life... it is what you make it. I am sure that there are people running sex businesses that do indulge in wild ways... but for us... it is more about making a difference of helping others in such a sexually confused world. To do this we must be professional and value our customers and web site visitors... we must work hard and stay focused on our goals.

I suppose it is better than selling something really boring. My husband does enjoy testing out some of our new products with me. I have to say, I too enjoy testing out new products from time to time and can't complain about what I am researching. Although, I have not tried everything we sell... not even close, much to some of our customer's surprise. I often laugh and tell them that someone has to run the company and there just isn't enough time in the day!

For me, starting the company was a way to help people. I never really wanted much more than that. When I was a little girl, those who asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up got my enthusiastic reply of "I am going to drive a help car and help people!" While, I don't drive an ambulance, the years of doing therapy with people before I started my company, and the mass amounts of people I now reach through the web with sexual education certainly feels like I am living my life time dream.

Being Disowned

This month of April is my son's birthday, my Mom's birthday and the anniversary of my husband John and I being disowned by his parents for running this company. It is a month of joy and celebration for my beautiful little boy and my loving mother and a time when I have been somewhat sad that we may never again have conversations with John's family.

I remember the eMails from his family like it was yesterday... from comments that I was a horrible mother for bringing my child up while I was running a pornographic company to even being accused of being the kind of person that would expose him to acts of depravity.

I understand that it is when people are repressed or afraid of things that they don't take the time to understand it and shout out absurd accusations. They of course blame me. I suppose it was easier for them to close their hearts rather than look at the possibility of accepting that John and I chose this career with strong convictions about doing what we feel is helping people and live a normal and healthy life. We of course have never exposed our child to anything inappropriate and such accusations were really shocking to us.

Are People Disgusted When They Find Out?

People who ask me about my job are often blushing and smiling with a goofy grin after I tell them what I do. However, I am a very direct and open person and I think my attitude toward it all is what puts them at ease about it after I explain what we do in a little more detail.

I am professional in speaking about such issues as I believe that what I do is no different than when I was treating people for chemical dependency or mental illness. I have been helping people deal with some of the most challenging things one can deal with in life and I see no difference in someone needing help when they are struggling with a drug addiction, bipolar disorder, depression to erectile dysfunction, or simply wanting to be a better lover. People need help, advice, guidance, and support and honestly why should it be taboo to offer that just because we are talking about sexuality?

Just the other day, I was talking to a woman who had asked me what I did and before I knew it several women were around me talking about their most private bedroom concerns. From losing sex drive from a hysterectomy to a woman who had never had an orgasm... I find that no matter who I speak to that it seems they are exploding with questions they have been too embarrassed to ask for a long time.

The questions fly through the air, and I often find it hard to leave once people begin to ask questions of me when I am out. "So what vibrator do you recommend?," "You know I wanted to learn how to give my husband more pleasure and I was not sure where I could learn it," and the list goes on and on.

Everyone wants to know more about their sexual functioning at some point in their life... it is natural for us to want to know more about ourselves on many levels... so why not that aspect? So far, after doing this since June of 2000 I have not found that people are disgusted with what we do, in fact it is quite the contrary reaction that most people have.

The Things People Think

Sometimes when customers call, they will ask questions about what it is like to be in this business. One thing that I hear often is that they think I am someone with super sexual powers and they can't believe they are actually speaking to me. I have to laugh, as I humbly sit there at my desk having worked for 10 hours straight without having seen my hubby for most of the day. The reality is that I am just like anyone else who has a job, raises a child, and tries to squeeze in time for smooching on my hubby.

I think the main difference is that I know a lot about sex, I see a lot about sexuality in doing research and I certainly talk about it all the time. Yet, making time for myself and my husband to enjoy it is still something we have to commit to working on to make our marriage fun while keeping our connection strong.

While I may be on the phone talking about a shipment of vibrators coming in... to me it is so mundane a topic that I might as well be talking about a shipment of rubber bands... when you run a business, that is what you do... business.

We are not running around nude, drooling over porn and having sex parties. Yes, I do know people who do, and I have even been invited to such things, but it is not the lifestyle my husband I want for ourselves, and just as we do not judge others for whatever works for them in their life, we want others to respect what we have chosen.

Shipping Pleasure

My brother did say to me that it was kind of neat to think that the orders that he was helping to fill during his time working for us made him reflect. It was when he thought about the fact that the vibrator he was shipping out was helping someone whether it was enhancing a couple's love life grow stronger or simply bringing someone pleasure... what a wonderful thing to be spreading pleasure and happiness throughout the world!

Porn is miles away from what we do. Not that we think it is wrong, but our goal is to be a clean, safe place for people to come to for their sensual toys, books, etc. It is fun to be a part of a small group of intelligent, enthusiastic people who are all passionate about what we do. I guess our greatest hope is that you will be passionate about it too.