Men's Fear Of Sex Toys
         Will She Like It Better Than Me?

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO Member of American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists ( AASECT )

If you have been contemplating getting a dildo for your female lover, but you are hesitant that she will like it more than you... then you can rest assured that you are among many men who worry about the same thing!

As a woman whom has many Dildos and has interviewed many women who have them, let me assure you that there is little to worry about. While some dildos allow women to experience a bit larger girth or length, they are never able to replace the sheer excitement of having a penis inside you.

Shoe On The Other Foot-

We sell male masturbation sleeves called Fleshlights and I can tell you that even though they are very real feeling to the touch, the warmth, scent, and experience of being in a pussy will never come close. There is something that only another human being can provide when it comes to sexual excitement from visual stimulation, pheromones, scent, taste, and skin to skin sensation... a toy will never fully be able to match the excitement of a real life lover.

Why Men Worry-

I know my husband and I spoke many times about this. Believe it or not we too had our insecurities about using sex toys. We admitted to one another that we could not compete with them and that we would not be as "good" as the toy. After using them, we laughed at how we let ourselves get caught up in our insecurities as the sex toys, while really fun, could never compare to one another.

This fear is normal for men and women, especially because we all have tender egos that need to feel important to our lover, and honestly feel that we provide them with the most sexual pleasure they have ever had.

Penis Size Issues-

I have written a great deal about penis size, and to sum it all up... it is not as big of a deal as most men make it. We pass babies through our vaginas so what in the world would make anyone think that our pleasure was contingent on size? Trust me, while sometimes women enjoy the extra girth or angle that some dildos provide... we need, want and desire your penis!

The bottom line is that toys only enhance variety and pleasure if you and your lover already have a good sexual connection. Even if you separate out physical sensation with emotional and mental sexual turn ons... the physical sensation of another person and you getting off with each other is hotter than anything else.

My vibrator stimulates my clitoris faster than my husband ever could, but the feeling of his finger rubbing it gets me off for a few reasons. Not only does his finger rub me the right way, it is warm and I get off knowing he is touching me. Most women do!

Women love to feel desired just as men do. Having an erect penis inside us lets us know we are desired, and knowing our wet pussy is getting you off as well far exceeds what any sex toy could ever do!

Letting Go Of Fear-

The best thing you can do in life is face your fears. You can have a good sex life without the use of sex toys, but you can also enhance it by using them. Your lover is most likely going to appreciate your efforts to bring them pleasure whether it is through your body or a sex toy. Simply being a giving lover in bed with a willingness to be vulnerable, creative and caring is what truly makes a great lover!