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Sexual Orientation & Sexual Identity

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

Wood blocks with letters LGBTQ, Sexual Orientation Sexual Identity

Sexual Orientation & Identity

With so many labels regarding sexuality, it can become overwhelming for people to understand what they mean. Some of the definitions overlap, but the distinction matters to some people and that is perfectly alright. Below are helpful definitions to shine light on the complex and diverse world of sexuality.

Sexual Definitions

Advocate

An individual who actively works to end intolerance, educate and support social equality.

Ally

A heterosexual (straight) individual who supports LGBT+ individuals.

Androgyny

The most common meaning of this expression is regarding someone who presents as having both masculine and feminine features. It is less commonly used also to describe someone who is considered an intersex individual who has both female and male genitals.

Androsexual

Those sexually attracted to men and masculinity, regardless of whether they were assigned male at birth.

Asexual

An individual with little to no sexual attraction to almost anyone.

Bigender

An individual who alternates between identifying with being a woman or a man and, in some cases, both simultaneously.

Binary Gender

An outdated way of thinking which insists on categorizing someone as one sex or another when in some cases, people identify as both, which, as mentioned previously, is considered a third gender (intersex).

Biological Sex

This is the physical anatomy and the gendered hormones that one is born with, generally described as male, female, or intersex, and often confused with gender (which is not necessarily biological but how one sees themselves mentally and emotionally).

Bisexual

This person experiences attraction to people of their gender and the opposite gender. It is different from pansexual as it only focuses on attraction to men and women and not a third gender or intersex individuals.

Cis or Cisgender

A description for an individual whose gender identity, gender expression, and biological sex align.

Closeted

This term describes individuals who keep their sexual identity or orientation private to select people or everyone.

Coming Out

This term describes disclosing your sexual identity or orientation to someone or a group of people. It is a voluntary decision rather than someone else revealing their sexual identity without permission, known as outing or being outed.

Cross-dressing

This is when one wears clothing associated with the opposite sex, such as a woman wearing a tuxedo or a man wearing a dress. It can be done for entertainment, personal enjoyment, comfort, and sexual gratification. It does not necessarily mean that someone is transgender, but it can conflate with it in some cases.

Demisexual

This term describes an asexual person who is occasionally romantic.

Drag King

An individual who provides entertainment by dressing in an exaggerated form of masculine expression, which is often done as a performance. It does not mean this person is transgender.

Drag Queen

An individual who provides entertainment by dressing in an exaggerated form of feminine expression is often done as a performance. It does not mean this person is transgender.

Female

It is medically defined as an individual with female sexual anatomy such as the 46, XX phenotype, ovaries, uterus, vagina, breasts, high estrogen levels, etc.).

Fluid(ity)

This typically describes a fluctuating sexual preference and/or identity of someone who is not considered to be transitioning.

FTM / MTF

Abbreviations that stand for Female to Male or Male to Female for those who have gone through medical treatments to help them achieve their true gender identity.

Gay

This term is used primarily for a man who is sexually attracted to other men; however, it has also been used to describe a woman who is sexually attracted to other women.

Gender Expression

How one expresses their masculinity and femininity through appearances, manner, and social behavior.

Genderfluid

Someone whose gender identity changes.

Gender Identity

How one perceives their gender regardless of sexual attraction to others or physical features.

Genderless

An individual who does not identify with any gender and is different than a third gender (intersex) who identifies in some manner with both.

Genderqueer

A term used to describe those whose gender falls outside the gender binary (traditional masculine and feminine gender expression). It is a person who identifies as both a man and a woman or neither and identifies as a third sex.

Gynesexual

An individual attracted to females and/or femininity.

Heterosexism

When preferential treatment is given to heterosexual people in society through the false idea that it is superior to other forms of sexual identity and attraction.

Heterosexual

A medical term for an individual who is sexually attracted to the opposite sex and is often referred to as being straight.

Homophobia

Bigotry against lesbian and gay people. Studies have shown that those with extreme homophobia struggle with their own sexual attraction and/or identity.

Homosexual

A medical term and often an offensive one for an individual who is sexually attracted to the same sex and is often referred to as being straight.

Intersex

Describes an individual whose physical, sexual anatomy doesn't fit within the labels of female or male. It can be used for a variety of conditions. Examples include a person born appearing to be female on the outside but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside; a girl born with a large clitoris or lacking a vaginal opening; a boy born with a small penis, or scrotum that is divided so that it has formed more like labia. It can also apply to genetics, where an individual may have what is termed as mosaic genetics, where cells have XX chromosomes, and others have XY.

Male

Medically defined as an individual with male sexual anatomy such as the 46, XY phenotype, penis, testes, high levels of testosterone, coarse facial hair, etc.

Non-binary

This is someone who rejects the binaries of male and female and does not identify as either.

Outing Someone

When someone reveals a person's sexuality or gender identity without consent or approval.

Pansexual

An individual with a sexual attraction for members of all gender identities and sexual orientations.

Queer

A term that was initially derogatory and now sometimes positively embraced by the LGBT+ community as someone who falls outside heterosexual norms.

Questioning

The process of exploring one's sexual orientation while weighing other outside influences from family, friends, society, religious beliefs with their own internal identity and attractions.

Sexual Orientation

The attraction one feels for others based on gender.

Skoliosexual

Sexual attraction to people who are transgender or nonbinary.

Third Gender

An individual who identifies as neither man nor woman. In Native American culture, these people are known as being of two spirits.

Transgender

A term used to describe all people whose gender identity or expression does not match the sex they were assigned at birth.

Transitioning

A term used to describe moving from one gender to another and is often done through hormone and/or surgical treatments.

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