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What Are Beige Flags In Relationships? Can They Be A Dealbreaker?

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

beige flags

What Are Beige Flags?

People are now refering to relationship behavior more subtly by including the trendy term 'Beige Flags.' This term usually carries a neutral indication rather than an alarm, such as a red flag, which could indicate serious issues making a potential partner unsuitable, or a pink flag, representing less significant concerns. However, it can be said in a loving way to describe a quirk, or it can be said to describe boring or cringy behavior depending on the context. 

While we all want to see green flags in our partnership that let us know a partnership is ideal for us, beige flags are either boring or quirky things your partner may do that are just a bit odd to us. Beige flags when first noted, may merely seem neutral, humorous or dull, but over time, they might be perceived more positively or negatively.

Examples Of Beige Flags

An example of a beige flag may be someone who is close to their mom and talks to them daily. This may indicate that they are loyal and family-oriented, but it could also mean that down the road they may excessively involve their family in your relationship or have unhealthy dependencies.

Similarly, someone who brushes their teeth after every meal could mean that they take great care of themselves and have excellent hygiene, or it could indicate obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or other extreme preoccupation with cleanliness or certain routines. As with any behavior, context, and balance are key.

Beige Flag Origins

The origins of beige flags were first casually outlined in a viral video by @itscaito in May 2022. They included such examples as whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza, making any mention of spreadsheets, and referencing mainstream sitcoms.

The slang term is now being more heavily used since May 2023. The hashtag #beigeflag has hundreds of millions of views, and it's because of a new trend where social media users, primarily on TikTok, lovingly expose their partner's beige flags. Videos are often accompanied by mellow "summer background jazz" music to set a sweet and nonjudgemental tone along with white text that outlines their partner's beige flags.

Many content TikTok creators post videos with "my boyfriend's beige flag…" or "my girlfriend's beige flag is…," where they share the often funny and peculiar details about their partner's behavior.

TikTok Examples Of Beige Flags

TikTok beige flag examples include mentioning a partner who always asks a waitperson what they should order and then orders the recommendation or a partner who is always mispronouncing words.

Some of the beige flags are common such as sleeping with a mass amount of pillows surrounding their body, while others, include odd behavior such as humming while they eat or putting red pepper flakes on all their food.

Beige Flags & Dating Profiles

Beige flags are also being used to describe certain dating profiles. These are typically more of an indication that someone is coming across as basic and boring.

For example, listing hobbies such as going to the gym or liking dogs offers little insight into a person and may make a dating profile less interesting. This can make it seem like they lack an interesting personality and uniqueness.

Examples Of Beige Flags on Dating Profiles

Some individuals have posted assertions about beige flags. While these views don't necessarily attribute any negativity to them, some might perceive them as lackluster.

Only Selfies

All profile photos are selfies which may indicate that someone is not social or engaging in extra-curricular activities. It may also suggest a boring lifestyle depending on what they are doing in the selfies.

Hobbies That Aren't Really Hobbies

Describing things that most people do, such as drinking coffee, eating, napping, or working, does not make someone appear that they are unique and aren't really hobbies.

Mainstream Sitcoms

Indicating that you love popular and outdated shows such as The Office, Friends, and Seinfeld may make you seem boring and outdated to some people, while others may bond with you over them.

Using expressions from those shows, such as saying something like "Looking for a Pam to their Jim, Ben to their Leslie, Monica to their Chandler," is also seen as a bland profile by some. If you put this out there know that you may not be showing off things that make you stand out from the crowd.

Using Overused Expressions

When one lists their education as the "school of hard knocks," or are fluent in the "language of sarcasm," it can come across as off-putting to some as these expressions are often commonly used to be humorous and don't dazzle people with a sense of being different than the pack.

A Partner To Go On Adventures

Talking about looking for a partner to go on adventures within their profile can send a confusing message. It's an overly generic statement, and it could indicate many things, such as that you see life as an adventure and want a partner to share it with or you want to go hiking with someone. It is often a term that one should be more specific about to avoid turning off someone who may otherwise be interested.

Plant Parent

People who claim to be a parent of plants can simply indicate that they love plants, but many people on dating apps feel that unless you have some special connection to plants, such as owning a plant store or working at one, calling oneself a "plant parent" doesn't set one apart from the numerous people who own plants and remember to water them.

You Call Yourself A Foodie

Unless you have an extraordinary connection to food, such as being a chef, food critic, or own a food-based business, indicating you enjoy food is something most people can claim and may come across as dull.

Are Beige Flags Something To Worry About?

All of us have beige flags that make us either boring or quirky. Are they something that we should be worried about? Not necessarily. It could be that a partner enjoys your beige flags, making you more compatible or endearing to them.

Beige flags may be cringy or cute, so if something is brought to your attention by your partner as a beige flag, ask how they feel about it and be willing to explore your beige flags with an open mind.

Are You A Perfect Match For Each Other?

Rather than give you a psychological breakdown of whether or not beige flags matter, let me end this article by sharing one of my favorite movie quotations: 

As Robin William's character, Sean said in the movie "Good Will Hunting":

"...The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me too. She knew all my little peccadilloes.

People call these things imperfections, but they're not; oh, that's the good stuff. Then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds.

You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal; that's what intimacy is all about."

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