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Stop Looking For Love Not Meant For You

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

Letters spelling the word LOVELooking For Acceptance

It is our nature to look for love, and from the day we are born, we are conditioned by those around us with signals of how to get it. We emulate behaviors to bring us love at very early ages. We bend and shape ourselves to ensure those around us will approve of us.

As we continue to grow, we continue to seek ways to be admired, respected, and loved by our parents, family, and peers. We use our behaviors, appearance, and speech to accommodate other people's desires for acceptance.

Shaping Ourselves

Depending on our gender, it may mean becoming more attractive to others by being softer and smaller or stronger and bigger. As we water down our true inner selves to fit in, we find that what once made us unique has now been washed away. We have become a generic, acceptable version of the crowd. We lose the very essence of what made us ourselves.

Losing Ourselves

We get to a place where we barely remember who we were, and the compliments we receive feel empty because they come from people who really don't know us. We have buried our opinions and hidden our true selves for fear that we will not be loved. That we are not enough or that we are too much.

The Loneliness

We find ourselves more lonely and isolated as we surround ourselves with people who care only about a superficial shell of who we once were. If you are not living your life's purpose and speaking in your authentic voice, the love you are receiving is not meant for you, and deep down, you feel it. The disconnection from the love you crave can almost feel palpable.

Finding Real Love

Yet, the love you deserve is waiting for who you really are, and it is time to let it in. There are people waiting for you, longing for your unique, amazing self in their lives, and they are ready to celebrate, love and empower the real you. They are your people, and you cannot find them until you begin by loving yourself enough to be your authentic self.

When you start finding your true self, there may be people who no longer see you as worthy of their love. Tell these people that you have found the courage to be bold enough to be your authentic self. Let them know they should look elsewhere if they want a person who is just like one of the crowd.

As the influencer and comedian Elyse Myers said, "If I'm too much for you, go find less."

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