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Interview with a Castrated Man

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

jeans on floor with banana, male castration

Erotic Story Submitted By P. Rosier

Interviewer: So, John, I understand that you are a eunuch?

John: Yes.

Interviewer: What does that mean, physically, exactly?

John:  I have no testicles or scrotum, no balls at all, but I do have a penis.

Interviewer: Does that mean it's not a complete castration, therefore? I always imagined being a eunuch meant having nothing at all there.

John:  There are various degrees of castration, and mine is one of the most common. Others include complete removal of everything or just removal of the penis by itself.

Interviewer: You said 'most common.' Is this more usual than we might imagine.

John: Yes, there are more men who voluntarily become eunuchs than you might imagine. But it's a taboo subject, so the extent is never realized.

Interviewer: How did it happen to you?

John: About ten years ago, when I was in my late teens, I met a lovely girl called Marie. I hadn't had a girlfriend up to them being a bit shy, and Marie hadn't had a boyfriend, so we were a bit innocent. She was just a year younger than me.
One of the things I liked about her was that she was beautiful with long blonde hair. Another was that she was bright, and we shared much the same interests, so had plenty in common. On the other hand, though, she had a few hang-ups which seriously interfered with our relationship.

Interviewer: What sort of hang-ups?

John: She was very nervous about becoming pregnant, and she hated any sort of mess or anything physically mucky. So she would never bring me off if you know what I mean. Heavy petting never led to ejaculation, so I was left feeling very frustrated, and this got worse as time went by, and I could see she wasn't going to change. She was happy with kissing and cuddling, but not much more. And I was a teenager with rampant hormones! You can guess what I felt like. Needless to say, we argued a lot over this and, by extension, over lots of other things.

Interviewer: What about using condoms, or would she go on the pill? How about anal intercourse, did you consider that?

John: I considered everything, but she was too embarrassed to ask her GP for the pill and, anyway, she had read all the health scares and was worried about blood clots and so on. Condoms would have been far too messy, and she was concerned they might leak inside her. As for anal intercourse, well...Quite outside, her idea of what was acceptable.

Interviewer: How long did this go on for?

John: Two years. At that point, we were close to breaking up. I couldn't stand the frustration, she couldn't understand why I wasn't content with a less physical relationship, and we both hated the arguments.

Interviewer: Most men would have walked away by then. Why didn't you?

John: I considered it, but I really deep down loved her, and I knew she loved me. She was pretty and clever; she was sexy in an unconscious way; she still wore stockings and suspenders because she preferred them. Of course, so did I! She didn't want any children in a relationship and nor did I. We had such a lot in common.

Then I was in the library one day looking at books on relationships to see if there was anything that might help, and I came across this book on castration. Not the usual sort of sensationalist thing about men being castrated as punishment or to make them slaves in Roman times or anything like that. This was a medical book about the pros and cons.

So far as I could see, there were a lot of pros and not many cons. Cons included not being able to have children, but neither of us wanted any; a loss of sex drive and increasing feminization, but artificial hormones could help here; a loss of drive and energy, maybe, and perhaps some long term health questions.

On the pros side, with help from hormones, I could still have an erection albeit not enough to penetrate Marie, but she wouldn't mind that; I could still ejaculate, but it would be less in quantity, so less messy, and she'd prefer that; my sex drive would be turned right down so less frustration all around and I would develop a more feminine approach to sex with it taking much longer and being more gentle. Marie would not feel used by the quickie sort of approach to fucking, and we could just savor the experience in harmony.

Interviewer: How on earth did you raise the subject with Marie?

John: It was very awkward at first! After stumbling around the subject for a while, I showed her the book. She sat and read it in silence while I went outside to have a quick cigarette – or two! When I came back into the room, fearing the worst, either disgust or ridicule, I was amazed and delighted to see her face and eyes had lit up. She asked if I would really do this for her: make such a big sacrifice? I said yes, I thought our relationship was worth it. She just cried then and asked me to hug her. I cried, too!

Interviewer: How did you proceed?

John: We didn't know what to do, really. The book had explained different ways that castration could be carried out. The surgical option looked the safest, but we knew I couldn't just go to my General Practitioner and ask him to refer me to a specialist; he would have sent me to a psychiatrist instead of a surgeon! Anyway, I'd have been far too embarrassed.

Another way was to use a burdizzo, it's a tool used to castrate calves, but people sometimes use it, too. It's like big pincers with very long handles to give a lot of pressure on the jaws. Clamped around the top of the scrotum, it crushes the spermatic cords and blood vessels to the balls. They just die then. But we didn't have access to one, living in a town, and it sounded painful.
The final way was to use a tourniquet to shut off the blood, like a burdizzo, but slower and more gentle. We thought this was best. We decided to do it straight away in case I changed my mind.

Marie found a nice cord, soft and silky but quite strong and not too thick. I felt very excited by now at the thought of what we were about to do, and Marie did, too. She undressed down to her underwear, and so did I. We lay down together, and I took off her bra and kissed her nipples. They seemed quite hard, so she was clearly excited.

Then I rubbed her slit and caressed her between her legs through her panties. She was very wet! I eased them down, and she pulled them off completely.
By this time, my prick was making a tent in my pants. She reached down the top and held me without any prompting. That was unusual for her. Then she stroked the base of my penis and my balls. I got harder and harder, and suddenly I just climaxed. The first time ever that she had brought me off.

I really spurted and felt so relaxed afterward. I went to the bathroom and washed down. When I came back in, Marie asked me to stand in front of her with my legs apart. She knelt in front of me and reached between my legs to pass the cord around my scrotum just where it joined my body. She tied a knot and gradually eased it up tighter and tighter. I gasped with the ache it caused; I hadn't expected it to be so intense.

She apologized but said it had to be tight to work. Of course, I knew that, but still, I began to have some doubts. I was about to say something when she gave the knot a final firm tug, and the breath was knocked out of me. I saw her fumbling to tie-off the cord. Then she stood up: all finished!

Interviewer: What happened then?

John: The aching seemed to stabilize and then reduce. Marie lay back down beside me. Unusually, she was still undressed; normally, she put her clothes back on quickly afterward. I realized I was getting hard again. It just felt so kinky, and I couldn't quite believe it was real.

Interviewer: Did you do anything?

John: Marie took me in hand, so to speak. I really spurted again; I couldn't seem to control it. Afterward, I went home; we didn't live together then. Marie wanted us to get married first. At home, I really struggled with a desire to undo the knots and take the cord off. But the aching didn't seem too bad after a couple of painkillers, and I had promised Marie. Besides, I really wanted this, too. I went to bed and slept somehow.

The next day I went to work, but I don't know-how. My scrotum was swollen and very, very sore. It ached all the time, really badly and dragged like having a hernia – or so I'm told. But I persevered. Even put up with jokes from my colleagues about my limping. The next day it was a bit better, and by the third day, it had gone numb.

On the fourth day, when I saw Marie again, she checked I hadn't loosened the cord tourniquet. Actually, it was a bit loose anyway as my sac was shrinking by now.

She managed to untie the cord somehow and began massaging and stretching my balls. I thought for a moment she had changed her mind and was getting the blood to flow back to my balls. But when she began pulling down hard, she told me she wanted them to hang as low as possible so there would be plenty of spermatic cord and blood vessels for the tourniquet to bite on. I think she had been reading some books on the subject, too! Then she retied the cord tighter than ever.

My balls had become numb, but massaging them and removing the cord temporarily brought the feeling back, and afterward I ached again and could feel just how sore they were as I lost them. I had a big erection after, and Marie joked that she could see I had plenty of male hormones, so I wouldn't need any replacement hormone therapy for a long time after my castration finished.

Interviewer: How soon before you noticed any permanent change?

John: By day four, my sac was badly discolored, and two days later, it was black. I was quite worried; I thought of gangrene and other nasty things.

Interviewer: What then? Did you seek any treatment?

John: No, I was too embarrassed. Anyway, it didn't hurt, so I stuck with it. Marie was very encouraging, although I didn't like her to see me like that. Still, a few days later, my sac had shrunk, and I could see my testicles were tiny, like two buttons, that was all. The silky cord we had used was now very loose and came away. A week or two later, and my sac had virtually disappeared, it was a tiny patch of discolored skin under my penis.

I got very tearful. Partly it was the fact that I knew I had irrevocably lost my manhood, so to speak, and partly the lack of male hormones now. Worse still, I began to lose any interest in Marie.

Interviewer: You needed some male hormones?

John: Yes. Marie took me to a Family Planning Clinic, and we explained what had happened. The nurse was very understanding and arranged for a doctor to examine me and talk to both of us. He seemed to understand, and he gave me a prescription for testosterone or something like it, and the nurse instructed us on injecting it. This was over a week or two, not all in one visit.
Interviewer: Who did the injections?

John: Marie did – and still does. She sets the dose, too.
Interviewer: Some people would say there was little point in having your balls removed only to have to replace the male hormones anyway. Why not stay as you are?

John: I explain it by saying that, as I was with normal balls and so on, it was like being on a rollercoaster ride. I was not in control and swooped up and down, turning loops and being shaken up by my unregulated hormones. Taking that away and regulating the dosage artificially is like driving a car by comparison. I'm in control, or Marie is, and we can ease off on the gas and go as slow as we please.

Interviewer: What is sex like now?

John: Fantastic. I can't get an immediate erection; Marie has to stroke and stimulates me for quite a while, and, when I do, it isn't big and hard like it used to be. But it lasts for a long time, and I can ejaculate several times, albeit less comes out, but that's fine with Marie. We know I'm shooting blanks, so no fear of pregnancy. Our lovemaking lasts for several hours and is slow and gentle compared to a normal couple. I do get orgasms, but somehow they are from inside and not in my genitals (obviously!) as they were before.

I don't get impatient, and I don't get frustrated. Marie likes the "new me" (new for a few years now!) and our gentle, prolonged sex. I don't feel attracted to other women or porno pictures much, either. I would need time for stimulation, and there's no instant response like there used to be. That's good for Marie, and she feels sorry for other women in normal relationships. It's not for everyone, but it worked for us. Maybe we were just lucky.

Interviewer: Thank you, John.

* Interviewer's note: Real names of the participants have been used in this report.

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