Trusted for 23+ Years
Sex Toys For Trans Women & Non Binary People
Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert
Sex toys are typically marketed for cisgender men and women, but trans men and women, as well as nonbinary people, can find it challenging to navigate what might work well for them. In this guide, we will cover some sex toy categories that may be more friendly for trans women and nonbinary people who were assigned male at birth (AMAB).
There are quite a number of sex toys that work well with penises and neo-vaginas (post-vaginoplasty vaginas). We will review why some of these categories of sex toys may be more appealing, and if you have any questions, please let us know as we are happy to help.
Sex Toys For Those with Genital Dysphoria
Gender dysphoria is the unease that a person may have because of a mismatch between their biological sex and gender identity. It is essential to recognize this as one chooses a sex toy. It can mean the difference between genuinely enjoying the toy or having it cause psychological distress regardless of the pleasure physiologically.
If you desire to avoid contact with the penis, you can focus on sex toys that stimulate you anally or cover over the penis like some masturbation sleeves. If there is comfort with nipple stimulation, that may also be an option. See our Nipple Toys & Nipple Stimulation Guide for more information.
Think about what makes uncomfortable and what you want your focus to be on as you play with sex toys so that you can make this as enjoyable an experience as possible. For example, some trans women feel comforted by using sex toys under a sheet to focus on the pleasure rather than the visual of the sex play. Putting the penis into a hands-free sex toy such as what is mainstream marketed as a male vibrator can also alleviate the focus on it.
If you are not comfortable with stimulation to the penis, you can also put a panty vibrator or other small vibrator (clitoral vibrators) on the perineum area between the anus and testicles to provide stimulation without stimulating the penis.
Getting a sex toy that is remote-controlled vibrator or app-controlled vibrator can help in keeping you from having to touch the vibrator once it is in place while still controlling the vibrator's different features.
If you are looking for anal stimulation, prostate massagers are a great way to go, as they can stimulate the prostate and aid in achieving an orgasm without having to make contact with the penis. Many come with perineum stimulators that also stimulate the prostate.
For more information, see our related guides on:
Sex Toys For Those With Little Or No Genital Dysphoria
Sex toys that may be ideal for nonbinary people or trans women who have a penis and feel minimal genital dysphoria are designed with erections in mind. Here are a few to consider:
Sex toy categories recommended for trans women and nonbinary people who have gone through vaginoplasty and have been approved by their physician to use sex toys can also vary depending on sexual goals.
Getting used to your vagina may mean stretching it out a bit, and dilators are fantastic for doing that. We recommend starting small in size and working your way up to larger girths so as not to cause delicate vaginal tissue to tear. We have a wonderful dilator guide in our Painful Sex Guide which you may find helpful.
Please also see our lubricant guide for helpful information about maintaining a healthy pH level and osmolality level. The pH of a trans women's neovagina (post-vaginoplasty) is on average about 5.8 and ranges from 5.0–7.0, and choosing a lubricant with that in mind is helpful for your vaginal health.
For Couples With One Or More Trans Partner
Sex toys for couples can range widely depending on a range of factors such as the variables of a cis person with trans women or trans for trans (T4T) relationships. The key will be discussing things in terms of what you want to stimulate on one another, whether you do so one at a time or simultaneously.
One of the best trans sex toys are vibrating wands because you can get different attachments with them for both penetration or insertion, and they are quite powerful (at least the ones we sell).
We welcome your questions as well as your feedback. When we know better, we can do better, and we are open to researching things for you and taking your feedback so that we can serve you better. We are people that care very much, and your trust in us is what we strive to achieve.