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How To Do Prostate Massage

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

prostate massager, Prostate Massage GuideWhat Is The Prostate?

Only cisgender men and people assigned male at birth have prostates. The prostate is sometimes referred to as the male G-spot or P-spot because it is similar to the G-spot in a female. The head of a male's penis is like the clitoris, and when you combine stimulation of both, it can lead to intense orgasms, which is why men often sexually enjoy prostate massage.

You can access the prostate in two ways, through the perineum (the area between the anus and the scrotum) and through the anus up into the rectum. Stimulation through the rectum is more intense because it provides direct contact, which is why many men get prostate massagers to stimulate it. It can also be stimulated through anal sex and anal dildos with or without a harness (with a harness by a woman is called pegging).

Male Reproductive System Diagram

Why Do Prostate Massage?

Prostate massage can be a beneficial routine for those with a healthy functioning prostate as it can have both general health benefits and sexual performance enhancement implications. It can be beneficial for those with a swollen prostate to do it more often, depending on the swelling's underlying cause.

The Health Benefits of Prostate Massage

Before the 1960s, prostate massage was a medical therapy used to treat a swollen prostate (prostatitis). It was brought back by some physicians in the late 1990s due to ineffective drug treatments for chronic prostatitis. Treatments using antibiotics have shown promise in one trial, but a remedy depends on the prostate swelling's underlying cause. Hence, it is important to discuss whether you should massage your prostate if you are experiencing swelling.

Prostatitis Diagram

There is a great deal of interest in prostate massage, as it has been revealed that doing so can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. A long-term study conducted by Harvard Medical School in 2014 found that men who reported over 21 or more ejaculations a month had a 31 percent lower risk of prostate cancer than men who ejaculated between 4 to 7 times a month.

Prostate massage can increase the release of your ejaculate and make you ejaculate harder and further. The reason for this is the intense pressure that builds up in the prostate and why it is linked to the reduction of prostate cancer.

Do Doctors Recommend Prostate Massage?

Many practitioners advocate that prostate massage can effectively relieve an inflamed prostate's specific symptoms, providing benefits that include improved urine flow and sexual function.

For men that experience a chronic condition called prostatitis (swelling of the prostate), prostate massage can be beneficial. It is crucial to keep in mind that an overly vigorous prostate massage can cause health problems, so keeping things gentle even if you do not have a prostate condition is a good idea.

Properly done prostate massage can also relax the sphincter muscles and has been shown to reduce hemorrhoids and fissures. Overall, it is considered beneficial but being aware of potential adverse effects is why it is essential to educate yourself about it.

Sexual Benefits Of Prostate Massage

Beyond the health benefits, prostate massage can be extremely sexually pleasurable. Men who give themselves prostate massage or have a partner do it report an elevation in overall sexual pleasure, intensified orgasms, and an increase in ejaculate output. In addition, some men have found that they can ejaculate more easily with prostate massage.

Some men can achieve orgasms through prostate stimulation alone. Others combine prostate massage with sexual stimulation of the penis alone or with a partner to achieve ejaculation.

Prostate massage significantly reduces sexual tension and may help decrease sex drive for a couple of days due to the intensity of these massages. They can truly be one of the ultimate sexual experiences a man can experience.

Rather than tell you all the pleasure prostate massage can bring, let us share an email from our customers. His experience is a common reaction by many men who contact us about their first prostate massage experience.

Letter From A Verified Holistic Wisdom Customer:

Dear Dr. Lawless & Staff,

We got our prostate massager vibrator, and it is excellent. My wife gave me a prostate massage, and it took me 5 minutes to get off the bed when I was done. It felt unbelievable. I shook like a leaf, and when my wife stroked me, I ejaculated so hard I sprayed myself in the face. If a man has not done this, he does not know what he is missing. I cannot wait to do it again. Please tell your customers that it opened a new world of sexual pleasure for me and that it is truly amazing. Thank you for your incredible website and information and your dedication to bringing the best and safest sex toys to people like us!

- Brian & Julie

Sexual Orientation Concerns

Some men want to experience prostate massage but have concerns that it means doing so will reflect on their sexual orientation. First, sexual orientation is a sliding scale (Kinsey Scale). Second, sex acts are not equivalent to sexual orientation. This means that no one needs to question their sexual orientation based on something that feels good to their body, as one thing has nothing to do with the other. There are either people that enjoy a sex act or those who don't. To learn more about sexual orientation, please see our LGBT+ Terminology Guide.

Prostate Massage Vs. Prostate Milking

Prostate massage merely means stimulating the prostate with a finger or device, typically a prostate massager, and massaging it. An external prostate massage is when pressure is applied to the perineum (the area between the testicles and anus).

Milking the prostate or prostate milking is sometimes used interchangeably with prostate massage but, it specifically refers to stimulating the prostate for sexual pleasure where prostate fluid (pre-cum) may be released before ejaculation.

How Often Should You Do Prostate Massage?

To see improvement for a swollen prostate, many men will see benefits after only three drainages. However, it will depend on the cause of the swelling and how close together they have been done. Men with a healthy prostate can see benefits from doing it once a month, whereas those who have swollen prostates may see increased improvement from 1-3 times per week.

One thing to keep in mind is that if you do it too frequently, it may cause discomfort as you would be unable to ejaculate, and the prostate may become tired and strained. More than once, a day may be more than adequate.

How To Locate The Prostate

To locate the prostate, insert a finger inside your rectum. Stimulation will often cause sexual arousal, and ejaculatory fluid will come out whether an orgasm is achieved or not. During the aroused state, the fluid builds up in the prostate to the point where it will come out. The muscular contractions will be that of a reflexive orgasm.

When engorged, the prostate gland can be felt through the perineum (just behind the scrotum). It is a round bump and is approximately the size of a walnut. It can also be accessed anally and can be felt as a soft marble resting toward the front of the body. It is about a 2 - 2.5 inches inside the rectum toward the wall where your penis is located.

You can achieve prostate massage by simply inserting a lubricated finger or anal sex toy (prostate massager) and pushing up against it and rubbing it. Pressure against it will intensify the pleasurable sensation. If at any time it feels painful, you should not do it. If the pain continues, you should seek the advice of a physician.

Prostate Location Diagram

How To Prepare For Prostate Massage

Tensing the rectum during a prostate massage can be difficult, painful and increase the risk of damage. Thus, making sure you are relaxed is essential. When inserting your prostate massager, the anal canal is part of the sphincter muscle, and your central nervous system controls that muscle. This means that you cannot mentally control it on command.

Tensing up during insertion before you are ready can result in injuring your anus and internal sphincter. This is why it is important to be psychologically relaxed as that will soothe your central nervous system and, in turn, your involuntary muscles like your anus and anal canal.

Taking a soothing bath or having a sensual massage beforehand is a great way to relax. Once ready, you can also lightly play with the anal rim and then slowly penetrate. Make sure to use ample lubricant. If you are doing this with a partner, make sure to discuss things beforehand so that your partner knows when to stop or slow down. Communication is key.

If you use anything in your rectum for prostate massage from your finger to a prostate massager, make sure it is clean and disinfected to prevent infection.

Never perform prostate massage without first consulting your physician if you have a known prostate condition such as prostate cancer, as doing so can increase cancer spread.

Lubricant For Prostate Massage

We recommend using a water-based anal lubricant for prostate massage. We do not recommend oil-based lubricants as they may trap harmful bacteria in the rectum. If you have autoimmune disease you may want to also avoid silicone lubricants as they may cause autoimmune and rheumatic responses (i.e., silicone-reactive disorder) much in the same way silicone breast implants are linked to in such medical issues.

To insert lubricant more easily, you may wish to use a lubricant injector (lubricant applicator or lube shooter), a syringe-type insertion tool that inserts lubricant deep inside the rectum or vagina. It helps keep lubricant off hands and sheets.

We do not recommend desensitizing lubricants for prostate massage, as listening to your body's discomfort is essential to good health. Using a numbing agent so that you do not feel pain may keep you from knowing that you are causing damage to sensitive tissue.

Prostate Massage With Your Fingers

Once you find your prostate, you can move your finger in a come hither motion, press it, hold, or keep pushing into it. You can also make circular motions around it.

If using fingers, make sure your fingernails are trimmed to prevent accidentally cutting yourself or partner and that you have cleaned under your fingernails. You may wish to use a finger cot or nitrile glove to ensure that your fingers are sterile.

Make sure that you are always gentle. Do not force, thrust, or move to fast. If you do extreme stimulation to the prostate, you can inadvertently damage the nerves of the corpora cavernosa, which may contribute to potential issues such as erectile dysfunction. This is an example of why we do not recommend huge anal dildos being used to thrust vigorously.

Types Of Prostate Massagers

Prostate massagers can provide sexual stimulation externally, internally, or both simultaneously. Internal stimulation is when the prostate massager is put inside anally and makes direct contact with the prostate. External stimulation is applied through the perineum (located between the scrotum and anus).

Prostate massagers come in both non-vibrating and vibrating styles. If you purchase a vibrating prostate massager and find that you do not enjoy the vibrations, keep in mind that you can always turn the vibrations off and use it without them.

Anal Toys Types Diagram

Prostate Massager Safety 

Prostate massagers as sex toys are sold as adult novelties and are not regulated by the FDA for health. This means there are many toxic sex toys, including prostate massagers, being sold to consumers. Such toxins may leech into your body and cause health issues.

Because we value your health, we only carry phthalate-free, body safe sex toys. Enjoy our site and relax knowing we have done all the research for you in finding the healthiest, best quality sex toys available.

Because we have exceptionally high health and safety standards, any anal toy, including our prostate massagers, that we sell meet the following criteria to be considered anal safe:

  • Our prostate massagers must have a flared base or ring to keep it from becoming irretrievable. A rectum creates suction when a prostate massager  is inside, thus, they can easily be pulled in and become irretrievable. This is why a prostate massager should always have a base that keeps it easily removed.

  • Our prostate massagers are made from nonporous materials to allow for proper disinfecting and cleaning.

  • All of our sex toys, including prostate massagers must be body safe and phthalate-free to keep harmful toxins from entering the bloodstream.

  • Our anal toys, including prostate massagers, are of a reasonable size to allow for pleasure and health. We do not carry anal sex toys that may cause bodily damage as too much stretching may cause health issues.

  • Our prostate massagers have a body safe shape as the rectum to prevent damage to the anus, anal canal and rectum.

It is pretty common for Emergency Room physicians and nurses to have stories about inappropriate items in their patient's behind. One of our physicians that we work with provided this real CAT scan below showing how a non-safe anal sex toy stuck in the rectum. This patient required an operation to get the sex toy out. This is why you should only buy anal-safe sex toys when you plan to use them for anal penetration.

Sex Toy Stuck In Rectum

How To Insert A Prostate Massager

  • You may wish to have a bowel movement or use an anal douche (enema) before beginning. You can also cleanse the anal area in a shower or with disposable wipes to remove harmful bacteria.

  • Get comfortable and relax. Some find bending over or lying down and putting their knees toward their chest opens the anus, and helps with insertion. Stimulating your genitals before insertion can also help you relax.

  • Gently insert the prostate massager at a downward 45-degree angle with ample lubricant while rocking it back and forth until it slides in. Do not insert too rapidly or forcefully to avoid causing tissue damage. It is a good idea to start with prostate massagers smaller in size as you begin, and exercise patience.

  • Vigorous and intense rubbing and pressure during a prostate massage can tear sensitive tissue, and it is essential not to overdo it. That is why vibrators may be a good option as they do not require a great deal of friction to stimulate the prostate.

  • Always use ample water-based anal lubricant to lubricate your prostate massager. Your rectum is not naturally lubricated by itself.

  • It would be best if you washed your hands after insertion whether you or your partner insert it. If you find that washing your hands after insertion is not practical, you can use an antibacterial wipe or wear a rubber/nitrile glove to remove to avoid transferring bacteria by touching things after it has been inserted.

  • Do not put a prostate massager that has been inserted anally into a vagina unless it has disinfected first. You can go from vagina to anus but not vice versa unless disinfecting your prostate massager in-between.

  • We do not recommend leaving a prostate massager inserted for longer than two to three hours. Make sure that you are not blocking your ability to use the bathroom should you need to. Consult your physician for specific times if you have concerns.

  • We recommend using a waterproof throw if you are using a prostate massager on a bed or couch to avoid fecal bacteria transferring to fabrics.

How To Use A Prostate Massager

How you use a prostate massager depends on the type of prostate massager you have. If your prostate massager has a flared base, ring, or handle, you can reach around and move it or have a partner do that for you.

One of the benefits of having a flat base is that you can sit on it (in the shower, on a bed or couch) and rock back and forth. If it vibrates or moves on its own, you can sit still and take in the sensations. Squeezing your pelvic floor muscles and sphincter muscles can make the prostate massager feel really good inside.

The firm pressure of a prostate massager alone can quickly bring on an orgasm, and stimulating the penis while using one is very pleasurable for most men. Men often notice an increase in ejaculate coming out when they do prostate massage, which is why this is called milking the prostate.

Determining Prostate Massager Size

The size of the prostate massager is one of the most important aspects of choosing the right one for you, so make sure to review our insertable sex toy guide to help you to determine the best one for your needs: How To Measure A Dildo & Sex Toys.

Best Prostate Massagers

If you use a prostate massager or finger, keep in mind that when done anally, you need to avoid bacteria transfer. Keeping your sex toys clean is part of preventing this, so we suggest that you do not use porous sex toy materials such as an elastomer such as TPE, TPR, or Cyberskin. Silicone, on the other hand, is ideal when it comes to prostate massagers because it can be completely sterilized and is nonporous. Glass, metal, and ABS plastic are also able to be sterilized as well.

How To Clean Your Prostate Massager

If you want to make cleanup easier, you can put condoms over anal toys or any sex toy to protect them. We recommend using a sex toy cleaner to disinfect your prostate massager. What you use to disinfect and clean your prostate massager will depend on the material from which it is made.

Please see our How To Clean Sex Toys Guide for specific sex toy cleaning information to prevent damage to your sex toy as well as how to properly disinfect it.

Prostate Massage Exams

Before giving yourself a prostate massage, you should have a physician do a prostate exam (digital rectal examination: DRE) to diagnose prostatitis, growth, or inflammation. During your prostate exam, a doctor will use a lubricated glove over their finger, insert their finger a couple of inches into the anal canal and rectum, and press into the prostate internally. This is a quick and painless procedure and allowing the physician to feel whether there is swelling.

Digital Rectal Exam, DRE Diagram

Most Common Prostate Health Issues

As men age, the prostate can become swollen and enlarged because of several medical conditions. The three most common prostate issues are benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH), which primarily occurs in men over the age of 50; prostatitis, an inflammation of the prostatic sometimes caused by an infection; and prostate cancer, the most common form of cancer in men. It is so common that 1 in 9 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during their lifetime.

This is why even if you do not practice prostate massager, making sure that you have it checked by a physician and are familiar with prostate health issues is essential.

Three Prostate Zones

This prostate comprises of three zones and surrounds the urethra, where it connects to the bladder. Prostate fluid is the majority of what makes up ejaculate, and it crucial for healthy ejaculations. The three zones of the prostate are:

  • The peripheral zone (PZ) of the prostate is the largest part and closest to the rectum. This is the part that a doctor is feeling during a digital (finger) exam. This is an essential exam and location, as it is where 70-80% of prostate cancers originate.

  • The central zone (CZ) of the prostate is the area that surrounds the ejaculatory ducts. Less than 5% of cancer starts here; however, this is typically where more aggressive cancer can start and invade the seminal vesicles.

  • The transition zone (TZ) of the prostate surrounds the urethra as it enters the prostate gland. This is the part of the prostate that often becomes swollen with age and can cause urinary disruptions. It is responsible for 20% of prostate cancers.

Swollen Prostate

There are two main causes of a swollen prostate in men which is benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and prostatitis. One of the differences between the two is age-related as prostatitis is more likely to affect men ages 50 or younger and BPH in men over age 50.

Prostatitis is an inflammation of the prostate and can be caused by an injury or bacteria that got into the prostate from urine or during sex. Symptoms include pain in the groin, painful orgasms, fever, penile discharge, pain during urination, and frequent urination.

Whereas BPH is simply an enlarged prostate and is more common as men age. It enlarges and then blocks the urethra, making it hard to urinate. Symptoms include a frequent need to urinate, especially at night, difficulty starting to urinate, weak urine stream, incontinence, and pain during urination.

BPH, Swollen ProstateProstatitis can occur in men of all ages. If there is swelling, the physician may collect fluid (prostatic secretion) to analyze the underlying cause, such as inflammation or infection.

If a physician suggests prostate massage to relieve prostate swelling, it is typically recommended 2-3 times per week to relieve pressure and assist with urination. When prostate massage is done when a prostate is swollen, it can create an uncomfortable burning sensation.

A study conducted by the Institute of Male Urology and the UCLA Medical Center studied 73 men with chronic prostatitis. They were treated with antibiotics and regular prostate massage by urologists, and 40 percent were cured, while 21 percent experienced some improvement. Thus, it may not work for everyone, but it does show promise for some men.

Swollen Prostate Symptoms Include:

  • Difficulty Urinating
  • Erectile Dysfunction
  • Blood in Urine
  • Fever
  • Painful Ejaculations
  • Perineum Pain

Causes Of A Swollen Prostate

  • Testosterone Hormonal Changes
  • Aging & Cell Changes
  • Nerve Damage
  • Bacterial Infection
  • Microorganisms
  • Immune System Response

A swollen prostate is typically treated with doctors' medications, so prostate massage by doctors is not done often. Prescriptions for a swollen prostate are typically antibiotics and muscle relaxants, depending on the cause.

Why You Should Check Your Prostate

Regardless of whether you opt to do prostate massage, it is good to check the prostate for changes. If the prostate feels more rigid than usual, becomes sore or tender, or swollen, it is good to check out by a physician. Difficulty in urinating is one indicator that the prostate may be swollen. A good rule of thumb is to check it every six months.

Prostate disorders do not happen quickly, and therefore, regular massage can help to reverse problems. Because it is quite common for men over the age of 50 to experience problems with their prostates, it is something that all men should consider at some point.

Prostate Massage Can Be Healthy & Pleasurable

If you ever have health concerns, we always recommend discussing them with your physician. We understand that this may feel uncomfortable, so we have put together a guide on How To Talk To Your Doctor About Sex.

Prostate massagers can be pleasurable and safe to use when you are educated about properly using them. Always take it slow, be patient, and listen to your body. Feel free to contact us with any questions or concerns about anal toys and enjoy!

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