Skip to content
Use Code LOVE10 for 10% Off | FREE DISCREET SHIPPING ON $49+
Use Code LOVE10 For 10% Off
FREE DISCREET SHIPPING ON $49+

Fingering Tips For The Vagina

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

Finger on Grapefruit, Fingering The VaginaPartner Preferences

Fingering the vagina can be an art form. After all, the female anatomy is not just sensitive; particular preferences can vary. Just sliding fingers in and out of the vagina is not typically considered adequate for an orgasm to occur.

Know Thyself

One of the best ways to know what one prefers is through masturbation. If there is a preference for a particular side of the clitoris, how much pressure onto the clitoris or G-spot, etc., is discerned over time and with experience. See our Female Masturbation Tips for more information on this.

Communication

If you are a partner who knows their own body well, then certainly take the time to ask them as you move your fingers around for what they like most. If you are with a partner who is not aware of what they enjoy, you can softly whisper questions such as "Do you like when I do this? Do you want it harder or softer?' You, of course, do not want to conduct a questionnaire during the heat of passion, but asking questions is not hard to do during sexual play when done in a sexy voice and with a positive attitude. If you can discuss sexual preferences before physical intimacy occurs, that is, of course, ideal. For more helpful tips, see our Sex & Communication For Partners Guide.

How to Prepare

Clean Hands

One of the things you do not want to leave your lover with is a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). To avoid this, you will want to make sure that your hands are washed well so that you do not introduce harmful bacteria into her vaginal opening or her urethra.

Avoiding A Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)

The urethra (where the urine comes out) is where UTIs occur, and if left untreated, they can turn into a severe and painful infection that spreads into the kidneys and should be treated with antibiotics.

Shorten & Clean Under Fingernails

Ensure to trim fingernails so as not to cut the soft vaginal tissue. By also cleaning under your fingernails, you are ridding your hands of bacteria that live under your nails as well.

Lubricant

Most of the time, if you rub the clitoris or start with some sexy foreplay, your partner will be ready to go with a naturally lubricated vagina, but sometimes when you have been fingering them for a while, using a body-safe sex toy, or if they are experiencing effects from menopause, prescription medications or hormonal imbalance it becomes difficult to self lubricate, and you may want to introduce a lubricant. Learn about lubricants through The Ultimate Personal Lubricant Guide.

Atmosphere

If you want to create a sensual atmosphere for sexual play, you can start with a sensual massage or draw your partner a bath. You can go straight into fingering from the massage or even in the tub. If you do finger your partner during a bath or in water, you should be aware that doing so may pull natural lubricants out of the vagina, and they may start to chafe, so be careful about fingering too quickly in water.

How To Finger The Clitoris

Start with just the outer and inner labia (lips) and clitoris first. Sliding your fingers up and down the outside of the vagina will help you to determine how lubricated they are first and allow you to help produce lubrication by stimulating in this way.

The clitoris is one of the essential parts of a woman's anatomy when dealing with a woman's sexuality. The clitoris is similar to the frenulum (tip of the penis). Thus, it is a good idea to stimulate the clitoris first, and if you want them to achieve orgasm, return to it and keep stimulating it.

Clitoris Diagram


Where Is The Clitoris?

The head of the clitoris is typically a pencil eraser-sized nub that protrudes at the top and is covered by a hood that comes around it to protect it. Some have a smaller or larger clitoris, just as some have smaller and larger penises.

The clitoris is abundantly supplied with nerve endings and is most sensitive at the head, which is the part that you see. The shaft of the clitoris is under the hood and becomes more rigid as it fills with blood.

Avoiding Mistakes

The clitoris is extremely sensitive; if you have rough hands or rub it too firmly, you may cause agitation. Some people do not like direct stimulation and prefer stimulation over the clitoral hood; others like one side of their clitoris that is stimulated over the other. Most like direct contact and constant stimulation.

One common mistake lovers make is assuming that variety is most preferred. In reality, orgasms are typically achieved with repetition of the same speed and pressure of the suitable stimulation for your partner. That is why when vibrators are used on the clitoris when it is time to orgasm, most people will hold it in one spot that feels good until the climax builds and finally releases. Moving it around provides arousal, but it also can delay the intense build-up that clitoral stimulation can provide for orgasm.

Anatomy Of The Vulva


Pulling Back The Clitoral Hood

If you decide to pull back the clitoral hood to stimulate the clitoris directly, you may want to make sure your partner is fully aroused, as direct contact is typically preferred when they are at the height of arousal. The best way to pull the hood back is to simply your partner spread their legs and pull up at the top of the mons to expose it.

Range Of Motion

Repetition in clitoral stimulation can take on a variety of forms. You can do tiny circles, side to side, or up and down motions. Another way to stimulate the clitoris is to roll it in-between the thumb and pointer finger; however, this should be done gently. For more information on the clitoris, please see The Clitoris & How To Stimulate It Guide.

Vaginal Finger Stimulation

Using your finger(s) inside the vagina to stimulate the G-spot by making the "come here" motion is a traditional fingering method. Using pressure up into the G-spot is highly effective and often more desirable than just light rubbing. However, let's look at some more innovative fingering techniques with oral stimulation.

The Double Pleasure Clamp Techniques

These techniques are quite effective pleasure techniques. The following is step-by-step instructions on how to implement them:

  • The Clamp With Oral Stimulation: Stimulate the clit using the thumb and your tongue while stimulating the G-spot with one or more fingers. A good technique is when you can be in front of your partner. Most recipients of cunnilingus with this finger technique prefer one to two fingers, although some as a lot of pressure, and three to four can be used.

  • The Two-fingered Clamp With Oral Stimulation: This is best used when your partner is on their knees or standing with their bottom outward. You can use this technique from behind them. The thumb stimulates the G-spot, and the fingers make a "V" around their clitoris while you lick it. You may need to position yourself under them.

Finger Sex Toys

Using finger sex toys can provide added stimulation and can be easier on those with pain or disabilities because they do not have to be grasped. They can also be used on other erogenous zones of the body. Explore our body-safe finger vibrators and stimulators

In Closing

Good fingering techniques often have rhythmic thrusting that allows your partner to relax and let go rather than being unsure of what is coming next. Do not underestimate repetition when it comes to stimulating the clitoris and vagina to the point of climax, as it can be highly effective. Whether to thrust hard or softly depends on the level of arousal and your partner's preferences.

To better understand how to give an orgasm, please see the Clitoral & Vaginal Orgasm Guide.

Related Posts

Communication: Sex & Disabilities
Communication: Sex & Disabilities
Explore helpful communication suggestions surrounding sex and issues of sexual oppression for those with disabilities an
Read More
Tantra & Kama Sutra Tips
Tantra & Kama Sutra Tips
Delve into the world of better sex using Tantra, Kama Sutra, and sexual mindfulness techniques to allow for increased in
Read More
Foreplay Tips
Foreplay Tips
Make your sex life exceptional and increase orgasm intensity with creative foreplay techniques to excite your partner.
Read More
Previous article Sex After Kids
Next article Anal Sex & Analingus