Trusted for 23+ Years
Sensual Massage Techniques
Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert
The Health Benefits of Massage
People who have regular massages often report improved sleep, circulation, increased energy and alertness, flexibility, reduced stress, increased relaxation, lower blood pressure, and improved immune function. Massage can use a variety of passive motion exercises and resisted stretches, which allow your body's rigidity and stiffness to be gently stretched as your body is reacquainted with healthy and regular movements.
In addition to stretching the muscles, moving the body stimulates the production of synovial fluid in the joints (for healthy joint lubrication and pain-free movement). It resets those stretched joints' proprioceptors (neurons that sense where the joint is in its proper space).
Make sure that if you are a recipient of a massage that if anything causes pain, you say something to avoid any injuries. While massage is typically a low-risk exercise, some techniques performed by untrained people can cause damage.
In addition, if you have a health condition such as a blood clotting disorder, are prone to bone fractures, or have other health conditions that may be of concern, you may want to speak with your physician before receiving any type of massage.
Sensual Massage Tips
Creating A Sensual Environment
Erotic massage is often better when a sensual environment is created. The room should be warm and inviting with a pleasant aroma. Depending on your tastes, you can achieve this through massage candles, massage oils, and even incense. The massage should start very relaxingly, with sex on the back burner in the beginning. As desire begins in the mind, the best way to create that is to relax your mind and body with your special someone. Moving from a soothing massage and advancing into a more sensual one builds to the possibility for longer orgasms, multiple orgasms, and better sex.
Put on some of your favorite sensual music to create the mood. Have the volume at a moderate level as loud music can overwhelm the senses. You want the music to be in the background, not the main event. You may also want to avoid music that has lyrics if either of you find that mentally distracting.
Have your partner start by laying on their stomach. Working the back is an excellent way to create a sense of relaxation.
- You may want to roll a towel up and put it into a c-shape so they can put their head straight down instead of to the side. However, two pillows can also have a similar effect if they put their head in-between them so they can still breathe. Whatever is most comfortable for them is what is most important.
- You can also put a pillow under their feet. Raising them slightly helps to take the strain off the back in that position.
- Have any massagers, massage lotions, oils, and towels ready, so you do not need to interrupt the massage.
- You can use vibrating wands or other types of massagers to help reduce your fatigue or straining while performing the massage.
- Consider using feathers, fake fur, and an eye pillow or blindfold to help them feel even more relaxed. It can also add to arousal as it allows them to focus on just the sensations of the massage.
Lubricants and massage oils are excellent to have on hand. You can also use lotions. Keep in mind that with a sensual massage, if you are going to be using vibrators or condoms, oil-based products may be destructive to those products. Using a water-based lubricant may be best on the genitals.
Keeping Everything Easy & Oil-Free
If you are using massage oil, lubricant, or lotion, you may find that you will be getting messy. We highly recommend a waterproof throw to avoid spending a great deal of time washing your sheets and putting new ones on your bed (not to mention the staining that oils can do). This type of blanket has a waterproof core at the center with a soft, comfortable side and a smooth and sensual side. By using this, you can keep your sheets clean. You can also use a cheap shower curtain or cut-up garbage bag with a blanket that can easily be cleaned.
Having good communication throughout the massage is essential. You can simply ask them if something feels good and if the pressure is too hard or soft. Do this more often early on during the massage. This way you can get a feel for the general level of pressure they desire. As you massage, you may come across tender aches and pains. Let them know that if you hit a sore spot at any point during the massage, to let you know so that you can be more gentle in that area.
One of the most relaxing forms of massage is Swedish massage which incorporates a smooth but firm movement that flows across the skin. Remember, this is not sports medicine; you are not working out all the kinks and doing a massage where you have to remind them to breathe through the pain. If that is what they need, do not start with an erotic massage, rather a therapeutic one. Sensual massages should be about pleasure, and that is why your goal is to help them relax and feel good during this time. Using long, gliding strokes with your hands, forearms, and even your feet can feel fantastic.
For more information see our guides:
One of the best tips for giving a massage is keeping your hands and arms from getting tired. One of the ways that people tend to ruin a nice long massage is by turning it into a short one because their hands get tired and sore. Use your fingers in limited ways. Start by simply and lightly running your hands over their back and getting the massage oil or lotion on them. Then use your forearms as you lean over them using the pressure of your body weight, not muscular effort, to apply pressure. You may not want to use all of your body weight unless you are very petite, so lean forward and glide over them flat with your arms and hands with moderate pressure. You can also use your knuckles and, of course, your feet.
Massaging Your Partner With Your Feet
If you decide to use your feet, the best way to do this is to have your partner start by laying on one side horizontally at the foot of the bed, facing the end of the bed. Have them put a pillow between their knees and under their head to feel comfortable and have all pressure off their spine. Then prop pillows up behind you against the headboard and sit back so that you are sitting upward with your feet to push against them. Glide your feet along their back, using your entire foot, balls of your feet, and heels. Go lightly as your legs have a lot of power, and you want to be sure not to hurt them. You will find that this provides them with pleasure while providing minimal strain on you. This position is called the T-bone because you and your partner look like an upside-down T on the bed. When you have finished with one side, have them change positions and do the other side of their back, buttocks and legs.
Moving Toward The Front
Once you are done with their backside, you can move to the front and work on their chest, stomach, and legs. Saving the genitals for last is often a good idea. Once you move to the genitals, you can start with smooth long strokes that are light and teasing and then turn them into more firm strokes as their arousal progresses. Gazing into one another's eyes if they have not opted for an eye pillow or blindfold is an excellent way to experience intimacy at this time.
Genital Massage For The Penis (Lingam Massage)
Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and is used to describe tantric massage of the penis. The best way to do genital massage on the penis is to move with smooth, long strokes. Remember that the massage should be relaxing and should not bring them to climax too quickly.
Keep teasing with light stroking first and then gradually strengthen your grip. When and if you desire a climax from your partner, you can move more rapidly. Holding the base of the shaft with one hand, take your other hand and encircle the head of the penis and move it up and down. The frenulum is the most sensitive part of the penis, so stimulating there will feel especially good.
If your partner enjoys it, you can take one of your fingertips past the testicles and press against the anus for complete stimulation. You can also massage the penis when it is flaccid, and it will still feel good prior to ejaculation. Just make sure to communicate and find out how hard or soft your partner prefers it.
Once your partner has an orgasm, they will enter the refractory period where stimulation will be sensitive and, in some cases, painful, so you may want to refrain from stimulation more than a minute after orgasm.
Suggested Penis Massage Strokes
Cup the testicles with one hand and have the penis rest on the abdomen. Then, glide up and down the penis to the tip with the other hand's heel and repeat.
Double Slide Glide
Stroke the penis with your hand from the top down and then release as your other hand repeats the same motion repeatedly.
Lightly run your fingers over and around the penis as it lays against the abdomen. After doing this for about 15 seconds, take it entirely in your hand, slide up and down three times, and then repeat.
While massaging the penis at the head, stimulate the prostate either through the rectum or in-between the testicles and his anus (perineum area) with pressure up against them. Wait until the end of this massage, as typically this will bring on an orgasm.
- See our Prostate Massage Guide for more helpful information.
- Also, see our Handjob Guide for more penis massage techniques.
Genital Massage For The Vagina (Yoni Massage)
Yoni means vagina in Sanskrit (a sacred space) and is considered a spiritual practice in tantric practices. When performing genital massage, cup the vagina with one hand and use the other to glide over the rest of the body, teasing nipples and forming other connections with the abdomen, legs, etc. Keep in mind that neither clitoral stimulation nor vaginal penetration usually feels as good unless a relatively high state of arousal is already achieved. That is why stimulating other erogenous zones prior to massaging the vulva and vagina is ideal.
Vibrators allow arousal levels to be reached much more quickly and effectively by stimulating increased blood flow to the nipples, clitoris, and G-spot. They are exceptionally efficient in stimulating the clitoris as they vibrate the clitoral head and throughout the clitoral structure that goes around the clitoral legs.
For more information on vibrators, please see our guides:
Suggested Vulva & Vaginal Massage Strokes
For The Massage Recipient
The receiver should begin by clearing their mind, letting go of any worries, stress, judgments, and allowing the experience to unfold without any preconceived ideas of what to expect. Also, breathing in slowly and deeply before massage to release stress is always helpful.
Massaging The Body
Begin with massaging their legs and abdomen slowly with increasing pressure. Massage the breasts, initially avoiding the nipples and slowly integrating them into the massage. You can gently squeeze the nipples for a while once you have warmed up the entire breast area. Work your way back down the body and continue to massage the legs and inner thighs. Slowly open the legs to expose the vulva.
Massaging The Vulva
Gently cradle the vulva in your hand, cupping it. Massage in circular motions and then flatten your hand until you rub firmly against the vulva area. Make circular motions in small circles and then move outward, then back inward again and repeat.
Massaging The Clitoris
Spread the outer labia open and press down with your entire hand on the clitoris rubbing it in circular motions with broad strokes. Then take your fingers and slowly begin to really focus on the clitoris pressing softly and then more firmly. Take the clitoris between your thumb and index finger and start stroking it away from the body.
Massaging The Inner Labia
Move your fingers to the inner labia and pull on the vaginal lips with your fingers moving all around until every part has been stretched with your fingers.
Massaging The G-spot
Lubricate two fingers, position them into a c-shape and gently slide your fingers into the vagina. Gently massage all around the inside of the vagina. Move your fingers inside about 2-3 inches inside the top of vaginal wall and feel for a firmer, spongy area that should sit directly behind the clitoris. That is the G-spot; once you feel it press into it and move your fingers back and forth using a "come here" motion. As you continue, increase the pressure and speed.
Massaging The Clitoris Again
Move back to the clitoris and continue stroking it, pulling with your thumb and index finger and release. Do this repeatedly.
For more helpful information, please see our guides:
After massages, it can be nice to mutually caress one another and talk about favorite parts of your experience. You can also discuss creative things you want to try next time or do some soul gazing into one another's eyes for added intimacy.
Once each partner has sufficient experience with their partner's sexual responses, you may wish to try mutual stimulation. This is best done on a bed rather than on a massage table. Simply lie down facing each other, heads close together, and pleasure each other with your hands.
Types Of Massage
There are various types of massage techniques that you can learn in order to provide relaxation, improve health and compliment your sex life. Please note that some of these massage techniques may require advanced training to ensure that you do not cause injury to your partner.
A technique for finding and correcting cerebral and spinal imbalances or blockages that may cause sensory, motor, or intellectual dysfunction.
This massage releases the chronic patterns of tension in the body through slow strokes and deep finger pressure on the contracted areas, either following or going across the grain of muscles, tendons, and fascia. It is called deep tissue because it also focuses on the deeper layers of muscle tissue. Below are some examples of various massage techniques.
Uses stroke generally used in a Swedish massage treatment. This smooth, gliding stroke is used to relax soft tissue and is applied using both hands.
The deepest of Swedish massage strokes. This stroke encompasses deep; circular movements applied to soft tissue causing the underlying layers of tissue to rub against each other. The result causes an increase in blood flow to the massaged area.
A form of bodywork that is manipulative and seeks to rebalance the body by releasing tension in the fascia. Long, stretching strokes are utilized to release muscular tension.
It involves squeezing, rolling, and kneading the muscles and usually follows effleurage during Swedish massage.
A massage based around a system of points in the hands and feet thought to correspond, or "reflex," to all areas of the body.
Utilizes gentle touch and verbal communication to help clients release suppressed emotions and muscular tension in some instances.
Shiatsu & Acupressure
Asian-based systems of finger pressure treat special points along acupuncture meridians (the invisible channels of energy flow in the body).
Massage therapy focuses on muscle systems relevant to a particular sport.
A system of long strokes, kneading, and friction techniques on the more superficial layers of the muscles, combined with active and passive movements of the joints.
Executed with cupped hands, fingers, or the edge of the hand with short, alternating taps to the client.
Trigger Point Therapy (Myotherapy or Neuromuscular Therapy)
Applies concentrated finger pressure to "trigger points" (painful irritated areas in muscles) to break cycles of spasm and pain.
Massage can be a wonderful way to relax, connect with your partner, and experience sensual pleasure. Whatever techniques you use, make sure to communicate before and after to ensure that you are learning to enhance one another's sexual health and provide maximum pleasure. Also, be sure to explore all the amazing Sensual Massage Products we offer to make your massages even better.