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Great Wedding Night & Honeymoon Sex

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

Wedding Rings On Beach, Wedding Night Sex

Realistic Wedding Night Tips

Weddings are often a time of joy, family, stress, parties, drinking, eating, gifts, flirtation, and much more. The wedding couple usually has their obstacles to hurdle, as do the guests. Sex is often a central topic of discussions especially during bachelorette and bachelor parties, about the wedding night.

Keep Expectations Realistic

A wedding can be exhausting, so it is essential to understand that a romantic evening afterward may take some planning and consideration. Often, couples build up their wedding night to be the end-all sex experience in their minds. While it can be amazing, don't build wedding night sex up in your mind to be perfect, rather the focus should be more about just having a relaxing, good, romantic time together. Creating too much pressure around performance can cause things to be challenging.

For Sexually Active Couples

For couples who are already sexually active, you might try not having sex with each other for a couple of weeks before the wedding. Many couples try this to make the wedding night sex fresh and new again. If you want to tighten up the vaginia, you may consider using Kegel weights a few weeks before the big night.

For Virgins

You have waited, so your expectations may be higher than someone who has had sex before. Your first time maybe not be what you had expected, but don't worry, it can get a lot better. Make sure you bring a water-based lubricant and do everything you can to relax and just enjoy the evening. To ensure that penetrative sex is not painful, you may wish to consider using a dilator a few weeks beforehand. See our guide on How To Avoid Painful Sex.

Before & During The Wedding

Flirt with each other during the wedding, remember to make time for one another in-between talking to everyone else by sharing sexy looks, laughter, kisses, and even whisper naughty things into their ear. This will help build the excitement for later.

Read sex instruction articles before the wedding for added sexual pointers on how to please your soon-to-be spouse before the wedding night. Also, make sure to get romantic items for the wedding night in advance.

Most wedding couples are exhausted from the emotional aspects of a wedding, not to mention the stress, activities, dancing, and drinking. While you both may be a little too tired to have the best sex of your lives, you can make this night about simply connecting emotionally with one another. Even if you decide to save sex for the next day and sleep, there is no reason why you can't hold one another and enjoy being together on this special night.

Make sure to compliment your new spouse; you may both be feeling vulnerable and a bit out of sorts. Marriage is a big commitment, and you both just took a leap of faith. Remind your new spouse just how wonderful they looked and how much you love them, in addition to thinking about the intimacy of the wedding night.

Because you will be tired, make sure you do things that relax you. This is a great time to have a romantic time together through things like sensual massage, talking, bathing, snuggling, and having intimate sexual experiences.

Things To Bring


Massage Oil Candles can create romantic lighting and an aromatic scent to delight your senses. They can also be used on the skin for a sensual massage.

Romantic Music

Romantic music can make things feel familiar. Many couples feel strange in a hotel for their wedding night, and bringing items that will make you feel at home, such as favorite songs you both love, is a perfect way to set a relaxing mood.

Massage Oils & Lubricants

Bringing massage scented massage oils is a great way to give one another a relaxing massage and keep your bodies slickened and easily able to slide against one another. Bringing stimulating and flavored lubricants is another way to make sexual activities more exciting.

Sex Toys

Now is a great time to bring out your favorite sex toys. Wand vibrators double as a body massager and a sex toy. You can also give your spouse a romantic adult gift as your way of inviting them into a whole new life with you full of sexual adventure.

If you travel with sex toys, don't leave batteries in your sex toys; you don't want your suitcase buzzing! See our related guide, How To Travel With Sex Toys.

Sexy Underwear Or Lingerie

Make sure that you have some sexy undergarments to dazzle your new spouse with. This is a special day and deserving of special garments underneath your clothes.

Rose Petals & Flowers

Most florists will have small bags of fresh rose petals for purchase that will last a couple of days. Spread them along the floor leading from the door to the bed. Lay them out on the bed as well. Consider a few bouquets of roses or some more exotic flowers such as orchids, violets, or lilies.


Most couples love chocolate; having something to enjoy, whether in a box or even body chocolates, is always a fun idea.


Here's a shortlist of popular favorites: Dom Perignon, Perrier-Jouet, Veuve Clicquot, or for the budget-conscious: Andre.

De-stressing The Wedding Night

Planning a wedding can cause so much stress you lose sight of one another. Often, couples are so focused on wedding details, friends, and family that they feel disconnected. When the wedding night finally arrives, many couples feel awkward trying to reconnect after so much focus on everything else. Taking time to prevent disconnecting from one another and a little preparation is always a good idea for good wedding night sex.

Connecting Before The Wedding

Keep Dating

You and your fiancée are most likely saving money for the wedding, and going out together has been significantly reduced. However, it might be wise to spend a little on treating yourselves to alone time, where you do not discuss the wedding, rather you spend your time talking about other, non-stressful things. Use this time to flirt, have a glass of wine if it suits you, and relax for a candle-lit, romantic dinner. Doing this before the wedding will help you stay connected and prevent feeling out of sorts on your wedding night.

If you can't go to a nice restaurant, take a stroll through a park and have a picnic. The key here is not how much you spend on your dates but making sure you have them. This will also set the tone for the marriage that your relationship is the priority and that even under stress, you can come together and enjoy each other's company. For a list of fun, romantic adventures, see our Romantic Getaways & Adventures Guide.

Declare Wedding Free Times

Have times that you set aside where the wedding is not the focus. Take a weekend where you do nothing but focus on fun with one another.

Plan Fun Activities Just For The Two Of You

  • Spend time making a special meal together.

  • Go to an amusement park and enjoy some childlike activity.

  • Make plans to go to places you only take out-of-town visitors to. Often there are many resources right in your town that provides a day or evening of fun.

  • Challenge your mate to a night of games: Pictionary, Scrabble, Backgammon, even good old cards. Heck, for laughs, try some Go Fish.
    Also, if you want to play some sex games, check out our selection.

  • Don't just put in a movie; make it memorable; get out the popcorn, candy, and soda or wine. Jazz up a night in front of the TV with a comedy or romantic movie, and if you both have a favorite movie you have not seen in years. There is nothing like a night with the phone off and some snuggle time.

  • Take a drive to a town that you don't know very well. Spend the day discovering new shops and have a special lunch or dinner at a new place. Make the drive an adventure. Talk about funny childhood memories, play your favorite songs, talk about your fun times as a couple and even play games together like the license plate game.

Do Nice Things For One Another

  • Give your sweetheart a wonderful massage with scented candles, massage oils, and soft music. You can even make it a mutual exchange or alternate nights.

  • Create your meal, dessert, or cocktail together. Then make up a name for it by combining your two names.

  • Write love notes on the steamy mirror while your love is in the shower.

  • Make them their favorite childhood meal for dinner.

  • Take turns reading aloud to each other from a book one chapter each night.

  • Find your lover's car in a parking lot and tuck a love note under the windshield wiper.

  • Call your honey's favorite radio station and dedicate a song when you know they are listening.

  • Stop whatever you are doing and give your baby a big kiss.

Things To Avoid At The Wedding

Don't Smash Cake On Their Face

This is so overdone that it is passive-aggressive, and the guests are often not amused. If you are looking for something funny to do, grab one another's tush during the first dance. Something like that is a loving and humorous act. Things like this also catch the guests off guard and add excitement.

Don't Drink Too Much

Imagine the hangover the following day, let alone a groom's ability to get an erection for the wedding night. There is no harm in getting buzzed and having a good time, but getting ripped is awkward for your guests, and you risk ruining things by vomiting, passing out, or even getting into arguments.

Take A Dance Lesson

Take some time to learn how to move on the dance floor. It can make a fun date before the wedding and make the ceremony feel fun when you offer dazzling moves like a dip and twirl.

Write Your Own Vows

Saying something personal to one another during the ceremony often makes for some of the most moving weddings. You can make it short and sweet and even read from a note to make it less stressful, but just saying I love you without having the wedding officiant telling you to makes it personal.

Making A Honeymoon At Home

If you want to have your wedding night, or even want to make a romantic evening at home, here are some tips to make it special.

Clean Or Hire A Maid

If spending the night at home, getting fresh bed sheets, new towels, and a clean bathroom will enhance the setting for a home honeymoon.

Stock Up On Special Foods

Champagne, strawberries, chocolate, and other romantic foods are a great way to enjoy a romantic evening together.

Provide Romantic Entertainment

From a romantic movie book to music, make sure to enhance the evening with special entertainment that you will both enjoy.

No Phones

In this time of high tech, we often make ourselves completely accessible to all of life's stresses. Turn them off and devote the night to one another.

Dress Sensually

Dress in sexy boxers, lingerie, or nightgown. Make the night special by dressing your best to make the wedding night sex even better.

Bring In The Erotic Gear

From massagers, oils, lubricants to sex toys, you can create an erotic night to remember. If you are not sure what to get, feel free to choose from our adult gifts or simply contact us. We have everything you need to make an evening unforgettable.

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