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How To Choose A Dildo

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

Dildos, flowers: How To Choose A Dildo


Dildos have been used since ancient times, and there have been quite a few variations. Choosing the right dildo for your needs can be confusing, especially with so many on the market today that feature different materials, sizes, shapes, and functions. Below we will provide you with a dildo guide to help you find the right one for your needs.

Whether you are in the market for penetration sex toys G-spot Dildos, Anal Dildos, or Rabbit Vibrators, they should be body safe. This is crucial because the vagina and rectum are mucous membranes, meaning that what they absorb goes directly into the bloodstream and surpasses filtering systems such as your kidneys and liver. Thus having a body safe dildo along with a paraben-free, lubricant is always best. It is why we only carry body safe sex toys and paraben-free lubricants because we care about your health.

All of the sex toys and dildos we sell are phthalate-free and are quality products based on an extensive review process. We provide straightforward information about our sexual products without descriptions that are full of marketing hype. We get that you do not need to be told how mind-blowing your orgasm will be with the sex toys we sell. We respect your time and understand that you simply want to know what a sex toy actually does and its functions. We stand behind our products and provide a 30-day warranty on top of the manufacturer's warranty.

How to Choose a Dildo

There is no such thing as the perfect sex toy; instead, there is the right sex toy for you because what fits your body and pleasures you may be different than what works well for someone else. That is why it is a good idea to start narrowing down things by answering questions such as these:


What size dildo are you interested in using?

Understanding how to choose the right sized insertable sex toy is one of the most critical aspects of determining the right sex toy for you. If it is too large, it may be uncomfortable, and if it is too small, it may not provide enough stimulation. We want you always to be pleased with any sex toy or sexual product that you purchase from us, and that is why we have put together an extensive sex toy measuring guide called How To Measure A Dildo to help you determine the right sized dildo or insertable sex toy for you. Please contact us should you have any questions as we are always happy to help you.


Do you want the dildo to stimulate a specific part of the body?

Sex toys are designed to pleasure specific parts of the body, so determining which part(s) of your body you wish to stimulate will help you narrow down what category of sex toy you should focus on during your search. Many sex toys can stimulate multiple parts of the body as well as a partner simultaneously. Make sure to explore sex toy education articles that we provide throughout the site relating to the types of sex toys you are interested in to help empower you in getting the most out of using a sex toy for your health, pleasure, and intimacy needs. For example, explore our Clitoral Stimulation, G-Spot Stimulation, Prostate Massage & Nipple Stimulation articles to better understand how to use sex toys to stimulate these areas with or without a partner.


Are you going to be using the dildo anally and require a flared base?

If you are going to use an anal sex toy, you want to ensure that it is anal safe. What this means is that it will have a flared base to prevent it from becoming irretrievable and that it is nonporous so that it can be properly disinfected to prevent STIs and infections. Learn more about How To Use Anal Dildos as well as how to determine what model anal toy is right for you.


Do you want something that you will use alone or with a partner?

Sex toys can be used alone or with a partner, and some are designed for one or the other as well as both. Asking yourself how a sex toy will be primarily used will help you determine what features you desire. Explore our articles about Female Masturbation, Male Masturbation, and Couples Sex Toys to see what types of sex toys can be used for both solo and couples sex play.


Do you want a strap-on dildo, hands-free dildo, or dildo with a handle?

Many hands-free sex toys can make sexual health and pleasure easier. Learn more about how they work and what features to look for when choosing one. An example of a hands-free sex toys guide that we offer is our Strap-On Dildos & Strap-Ons Harness Guide as well as specific categories such as Mobility Issue Friendly Sex ToysArthritis Friendly Sex ToysHands-free Vibrators and Hands-free Dildos.


Do you want a vibrating sex toy?

Vibrators were invented by physicians to help make achieving orgasms easier and may increase pelvic blood flow, vaginal moisture, and sexual responsiveness. They are also quite pleasurable, and finding the right one for you is one of our specialties. Make sure to see our How To Choose A Vibrator article to help you determine various factors that are important to you for your health and pleasure.


How powerful and quiet do you want your vibrator to be?

Beyond size and function, consumers' two most important questions about a vibrator are how powerful and loud it is. That is why we put together a helpful guide in understanding our vibrator power reviews and vibrator volume reviews on every vibrating sex toy page.


Do you want a rechargeable dildo?

The top two reasons that using a rechargeable sex toy is more desirable are: you always have your sex toys available on full power when charged, and you do not have to spend money buying and replacing batteries. Using rechargeable sex toys means that there are different rules when operating them. That is why we put together a helpful guide on understanding rechargeable sex toy features such as travel locks, USB charging tips, and more. 


Do you want a waterproof dildo?

If you plan to use a sex toy in water, such as in the shower or bath, you will want to make sure it is not just water-resistant but waterproof, meaning that it is submergible. Learn about what makes a sex toy waterproof and how to find the right Water Proof Sex Toy for you.

Choosing A Dildo Based On Budget

When it comes to choosing the best dildo for you, it may also be helpful to think of sexual products, much like cars. When you purchase an economy model at a lower price, it does not mean that the product is bad or will not function as intended; rather, it is merely a reflection of the expectations one should have for the type of sex toy you purchase. After all, if you bought a Toyota Corolla, you would not expect it to perform as well as a Lexus.

Luxury sex toys are typically made with more lavish materials such as higher-grade silicone and offer mechanics and technology that provide more features and power. Luxury sex toys are more expensive because of the materials and technology used to make them, but that does not mean you have to pay a lot for a quality sex toy that works well. Many lower-priced sex toys are great, and we will not waste your time with cheap, poorly made sex toys.

How To Measure A Dildo

One essential factor in getting the right dildo is about finding the right size. We have provided a detailed dildo sizing guide to help you find a dildo that is comfortable, pleasurable, and safe.

Keep in mind that one of the most common mistakes is assuming that bigger is always better. If the dildo is too long, it can hit the cervix of a female and cause discomfort, and if it is too wide, it can cause uncomfortable vaginal stretching and even tearing, which can be painful. Ensure that you are very clear about what would be comfortable for you and your lover by determining the size you desire before purchasing a dildo. Learn more about measuring dildos through our Dildo Sizing Guide.

Types of Dildos

Smooth & Straight

Smooth dildos often called traditional dildos or traditional vibrators are made from a variety of materials including but not limited to: silicone, Pyrex glass, plastic, rubber, Elastomer, food-grade vinyl, metal, and even wood. The smooth dildo is excellent for quick thrusting as you have less friction than some of the bumpy or ribbed types. Traditional dildos have a straight shaft without a curved or bulbous head and come in vibrating and non-vibrating models.

Dildo Styles Diagram


Curved Dildos: G-spot Dildos and Prostate Dildos

These curved dildos with bulbous tips are genuinely the most popular as they can intensify pressure into the G-spot and prostate. These dildos feature a slight to strong curve as the human body is curved, ensuring a better fit and access to the G-spot or prostate. G-spot dildos come in both vibrating and non-vibrating versions as do prostate dildos.


Strap-on Dildos

Strap-on dildos can be worn by both men and women and are designed to provide penetration both vaginally and anally. They are called strap-on dildos as they strap into a harness that you wear like underwear, allowing you to have a dildo positioned like a penis. There is a great deal to consider when choosing a strap-on dildo.

Strap-on Harnesses also come in a variety of models. If you use a strap-on harness once in a while, a less expensive model will do just fine, but if you use it regularly, you will want one that is durable, well-made and holds the dildo firmly in place to avoid it slipping and provide better control. Make sure to see our Strap-on Dildo Guide as education regarding strap-on dildos and harnesses is essential to get the right one for you.


Handle Dildos

Dildos with handles are ideal for controlling your sex toy and offers ease and comfort while using it. They are the perfect sex toy for seniors, people who have mobility issues, and arthritis as they allow for a more therapeutic way of holding the dildo while in use. There are circular handles as well as long handles.

We provide specific hands-free sex toy categories such as, arthritis, mobility issues, and more to help you find comfortable to use sex toys. If you have a particular need or desire, please let us know as we can help you find the right sex toy for you.


Anal Dildos

Anal dildos can also be used for vaginal stimulation, so you may be wondering why there is even a separate category for them. The reason is that the ideal anal dildo will have a flared base, suction cup, handle, or ring at the end to prevent it from traveling up the rectum. Unlike the vagina, which stops at the cervix, the rectum can take in a sex toy allowing it to keep traveling up, making it rather challenging to get out. Many people have had moments of terror when they realized that taking their fingers and trying to grab a dildo out of the anus can only push it up further.

Anal Dildo Types Diagram


Emergency Room physicians and nurses all have stories about these situations. That is why choosing a dildo designed to keep the dildo bottom outside of the anus is essential. One of our physicians that we work with provided this real CAT scan below of a sex toy stuck in the rectum. This patient required an operation to retrieve the sex toy, so you should only buy anal-safe sex toys when you plan to use them for anal penetration.

X-Ray of patient with anal sex toy stuck in rectum


Another reason to buy sex toys that are deemed anal-safe is bacteria transfer. You will want to avoid using dildos that cannot be sterilized completely (bleached, boiled, etc.). If you do not clean your anal dildo properly, harmful bacteria can grow on the dildo and get out of control. This is particularly important if you use a dildo that you have used anally and then wish to use it vaginally as bacteria from fecal matter can enter the urethra and vagina, causing infections.

Avoiding bacterial infections is why we recommend only dildos made using nonporous materials such as silicone, metal, ABS plastic, and glass for anal penetration. If you cannot completely sterilize your dildo, you can put a condom over it. This especially applies to dildos that are very porous like TPE, TPR, and Cyberskin.

Yet another advantage of using a nonporous material in an anal dildo is because you do not want them to absorb the lubricant you are using. Because the rectum will need ample lubricant for using a dildo, the last thing you want is the dildo acting like a sponge. Therefore, pure silicone and other nonporous materials are an excellent idea.

See our helpful article about How To Use Anal Toys and Silicone Sex Toys: Is Yours Real?


Hands-Free Dildos

There are hand-free dildos that allow for using them without having to hold them. What classifies as a hands-free dildo can vary based on a variety of features. You can also make a lot of sex toys hands-free by using sex toy pillow mounts. Below are examples of hands-free dildos:

  • Suction Cup Dildos allow you to stick your dildo to a chair, shower bench, wall, or headboard; they can also act as a flared base, which often makes them safe to use anally.

  • Flared-Base Dildos that you can sit on, rock back and forth on, or that move for you. These are particularly important for anal penetration to keep the dildo from becoming irretrievable from the rectum.

  • C-shaped and Panty Vibrator Dildos that are inserted and provide hands-free vibration. These typically come with a remote control so that you do not have to take them out to adjust the settings. These are typically considered couple's sex toys but can also be used solo.

  • Sex Machines offer hands-free dildo attachments that move for you and allow you to use them in various ways. Sex machines have large motors and are typically plug-in sex toys to support the power they require.


Hollow Dildos

Hollow Dildos are often used by men who have erectile dysfunction (ED) as they allow a man to insert his flaccid penis inside of it while thrusting the outer dildo inside his partner. Hollow dildos are typically worn with a harness, and many come with them included. There are pros and cons to using hollow dildos, and we go into much more detail through our Sex Toys For Erectile Dysfunction Guide.


Realistic Dildos

The sex toy industry term 'realistic' refers to the shape and design of the dildo, not the size. In fact, most realistic dildos are much larger than an average penis. Make sure when looking at these types of dildos, you pay special attention to the dildo measurements and how that translates into your comfort and pleasure.


Rotating, Waving & Thrusting Dildos

Dildos that rotate, move back and forth, or up and down have different names based on the manufacturer. You can quickly determine what motions a sex toy makes by reading the product description. We have specific categories for the type of moments a dildo makes, and you can easily search for them on our site and contact us should you desire a particular type of movement. Using a dildo that moves can make it easier to use as you can insert it and let it move on its own, making them a form of hands-free dildos.


Double Dildos

Double dildos, also known as double dongs, come in a variety of styles. Traditional double dildos are long dildo with two heads, but there are also curved double dildos that can flex and be used to stimulate the same person anally and vaginally or in various combinations. Double-ended dildos can penetrate both anally and vaginally.


Vibrating Dildos

Dildos can come with a vibrator or without and even have removable vibrator options. If you get a vibrating dildo, you will want to note where the power is located in the dildo and the power rating to determine how much you will feel. If the motor's vibration is coming through a removable bullet-style vibrator in the back of the dildo, you will most likely have a mild vibration toward the head. However, if the vibrator has a built-in motor in the head of the dildo or has two or three motors in different locations, it will be a much stronger vibration. We always provide vibration level ratings on all of our body safe sex toys for your convenience.


Erotic Electrostimulation Vibrating Dildos

With the advancement in sex toys, there are now vibrating sex toys that also have electrostimulation features built into them, thus creating complete erotic electrostimulation sex toys in one product. They are self-contained with no wires and do not require an additional electro-stimulating device. For more information, please see our Electrostimulation Guide.


Clone-A-Willy

These make your own dildos produce a replica of a man's penis. They come with a casting kit and the silicone that you pour into the mold, let cure allowing you to create an exact replica of a penis. These make your own dildo kits are quite popular, and there are also vulva molding kit options as well called Clone-A-Pussy kits. Make your own dildos and vulva kits have to be made in a very specific manner in order to cure properly so we have put together a Clone A Willy Instruction Tips article to help you.

Dildo Accessories

You can buy accessories for your dildo, such as a vibrating penis ring, bumper, or penis extender sleeve. To make any dildo feel thicker, simply add a penis extender sleeve to it or longer if it has a full head on it for added length. Adding a penis ring (cockring) or bumper can make a dildo feel shorter. A bumper is a doughnut-shaped ring that goes on the base to keep it from being inserted too far. Bumpers are especially useful for a long penis or dildo, causing discomfort to the cervix during penetration.

Dildo Accessories Diagram

Dildo Jealousy

It is true; some people have sex toy and dildo jealousy. If your lover is worried that you love your dildo more than them, you might want to have them read this article as it may help relieve them of some of their concerns: Sex Toy Fears & Jealousy.

Dildo Cleaning & Care

Taking care and cleaning your dildo is essential to healthy sex toy use. Using the proper lubricant to avoid chemical interactions is an important aspect of knowing how to use a sex toy safely. In addition, because dildos can spread sexually transmitted infections (STI's) and carry mold, mildew, and bacteria, it is also essential to know how to clean them properly, which is covered in our How To Care For & Clean Sex Toys Guide.

Knowing how to discreetly and properly store your sex toys can mean a longer life for them and keep mold and bacteria from growing on them while being stored; and we cover more about this in our How To Store Sex Toys Guide.

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