Trusted for 23+ Years
Sex & Water
Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert
Sex In Water: Challenges & Tips
Water can be a highly sensual playground or a terrible idea. From tubs to jacuzzis, pools, and more, there is a great deal of sexual pleasure that can be achieved in water, but there can things that go wrong. However, beyond the difficulties of intercourse, it is fantastic for foreplay and sexual exploration in water can be quite relaxing and erotic.
Sexual intercourse that occurs when your genitals are underwater is often reported to be an overrated experience by lovers. While it is often portrayed as a very sexy fantasy, the reality is often awkward. So why would this be true? Let's explore some common reasons below.
Water Strips Away Natural Lubricants
Problems With Lubricants
Using a waterbased lubricant in the shower is going to wash away easily. In contrast, oil-based and silicone lubricants will stick around, but they can damage condoms and make maneuvering rather slippery, increasing the risk of injury. They can also clog jacuzzi jets and make for an undesirable mess. In addition, many sex toys cannot be used with oil or silicone lubricants as they may break down the sex toy materials. Make sure to see our Lubricant Guide for additional information.
Sex Play In Deep Water
If you feel sexually adventurous in a deep body of water such as a pool or lake, you can try incorporating a flotation device. One partner can lie face up on a raft or inner tube while you play.
If you are in public, make sure you are discreet. There are many laws that can get you in serious trouble when it comes to sex in public, and the last thing you want is to get caught for indecent exposure or end up a registered sex offender.
Anytime you move around where there is water, you may risk injury as it can be slippery. When you have sex in the shower, risks of injury can increase, so use an anti-slip shower safety mat to give your feet extra padding and traction. Also, be careful not to put body weight on glass shower doors or walls. Make sure that you brace yourself on solid walls that will not give way.
Water & Condoms
If a man maintains his erection the whole time he is wearing a condom, it's unlikely that water would go inside of it. However, if he happens to lax for a moment or two (which is quite common for men), then there is a chance that water could enter it and make things risky by exposing one another to sexual fluids. If you need to practice safe sex, it may be best to avoid the act of penetration in the water and wait until you are out. However, you can spend some quality time in the water getting warmed up for the next stage.
There is also a myth that you cannot get pregnant if you have sex in water. That is incorrect; having penetrative sex in water can still result in a pregnancy or STD. However, ejaculate in the water around you isn't going to cause a pregnancy.
Water & Sex Play
The downsides to sexual intercourse in water are clear, but it can certainly be fun to try it or do it to be creative. Just remember that it may not be the ultimate sexual experience, as it often turns into a better stage for foreplay than the finale.
Other forms of sexual play in the water, including rubbing, kissing, caressing, nipple, clitoral, and anus stimulation, can be wonderful. Of course, men can enjoy a hand job, and women can enjoy clitoral stimulation. Even fellatio or cunnilingus can be enjoyable in the shower, however most likely not possible when submerged in water as one must be able to breathe. Having your partner float on top of the water may be best for long oral stimulation in a pool or lake.
The bottom line is that water can be a wonderful and sensual playground; stay creative and know the realities ahead of time to keep things erotic rather than awkward.
Using Water For Sexual Stimulation
Many people enjoy sexual gratification from using the pulsating water of a showerhead, bidet, tub jets, or even a jacuzzi jet. Women often discover they are orgasmic for the first time by experimenting with a pool jet or water running from a spigot or showerhead. Women often report that they enjoy the pleasure from the throbbing pulsating of the jets, the feeling of warm water, and the intensity of the stimulation that it provides to the clitoris. It can be an excellent way to achieve a clitoral orgasm.
Is Using Water For Sexual Stimulation Safe?
If you're stimulating your nipples, clitoris, or penis with water coming out of a showerhead, as long as the water isn't too hot or set on a pressure that's too forceful, it's perfectly safe and good clean fun. Some people worry about nerve damage from overstimulation, but this will not happen from normal water pressure. Also, see our article on Vibrator Myths to see why water pressure should not cause harm from friction.
Water Jets & Temporary Numbness
Some women may experience temporary numbness to the clitoris from overstimulation, but typically will not from the use of mild water jets and vibrators. Excessive use of high powered jets can cause irritation, so to ensure safety, make sure that you use jets that are not too strong.
Dangers Of Water In The Vagina
The main things to avoid when using water for sex are overly hot water that can burn you and avoid water shooting directly up into your vagina. The reason to avoid having water go up into the vagina from a water jet is that it is possible that the water can force air into your vagina and cause a severe medical condition called an embolism.
An embolism is a pocket of air in the bloodstream that can work its way into the arteries, possibly reaching your heart or brain and causing permanent damage or even death. This is also why a woman should never allow her partner to blow air into her vagina, especially if she is pregnant. It may be wise to switch to a waterproof vibrator if you are concerned that water may shoot into the vaginal opening during sex play.
Another concern for women is the possibility of getting Urinary Tract Infections (UTI). Typically these occur from water that is not clean and has bacteria, such as a dirty jacuzzi, pool, or a water hose. Making sure the water is clean will be a significant factor. However, keep in mind that oils added to water may also increase your risk of developing a urinary tract infection as it can trap bacteria on the skin.
Water Play Is Typically Safe
With common sense, water play can be an erotic adventure for sexual stimulation and immensely satisfying. Many women use their baths to escape into sexual bliss after a hectic day; however, partners can use water to help stimulate her. Couples sometimes use water to stimulate her clitoris while penetrating her with his penis or while using a waterproof sex toy. The creativity is certainly endless and can be very fun.
Making an everyday experience into a sensual one can help to break out of the daily grind. Taking a few extra steps to make a simple bath into an erotic experience can feel like a mini-vacation. Do it yourself or with your lover; a beautiful bath can lift your spirits, make you feel renewed, and get you in touch with a part of yourself that you may have forgotten about during your daily stress.
Preparing Your Bath & Bathroom
- Make sure your bathroom is clean and that you have a nice clean fluffy towel waiting for you.
- Change the mood of your bathroom by lighting scented candles. You can also use massage candles to drizzle on your body after your bath for soothing and moisturizing your skin.
- Bring in a cold beverage such as water with a touch of lemon, iced tea, or even some cold juice for a temperature contrast. Be careful of drinking alcohol in a hot bath. Alcohol, hot baths, and jacuzzis expand your blood vessels and increase your body temperature. If too much heat or alcohol is present, it can cause you to become unconscious, have a stroke, or even a heart attack. If you begin feeling dizzy, nauseous, overly hot, confused, etc., tell someone what is happening, get out of the bath or jacuzzi, drink cool water immediately, and lay with your feet elevated while you cool down.
- Play sensual music such as classical, new age, or whatever your preference.
- We do not recommend using body sponges or mesh loofahs as they can harbor bacteria, but a washcloth or body brush can be thoroughly disinfected after using it and used to exfoliate and caress your skin for an enjoyable bath.
- Bring out your waterproof sex toys for a wonderful sexual experience.
- Take a quick rinse-off shower to rinse the grime of the day away before you bathe so that while in your bath, you can add oils or scented soaps that can stay on your body for added pleasure.
- Remember to hydrate afterward if you are bathing in hot water, as you will need to treat your activity much like an intense workout, replenishing yourself with fluids.
Waterproof Sex Toys
Waterproof Vs. Water-Resistant
You must ensure that your sex toy is designed to be used in water before venturing into the shower or bath with one. Furthermore, you will need to know if your sex toy is waterproof or water-resistant.
Splashproof Sex Toys
This means it is water-resistant, meaning you cannot put it under a heavy stream of water or submerge it. It does mean that if water lightly sprays it that it should be fine.
Submersible Sex Toys
This indicates that it is fully waterproof and is able to be submerged in water.
Waterproof Sex Toy Errors
One of the biggest mistakes consumers make when using waterproof vibrators is not making sure that the seals are tight before submerging a sex toy in water. This means making sure that the battery compartment or charging port is completely closed and the waterproof seal is in place before putting it into water. If not, water may make it inside and ruin your sex toy.
Vibrations In Water
If you submerge your vibrator in a bath, the water will make it louder, and if it is making contact with you or the bathtub floor, it may make a great deal of noise. If you need to be discreet while using your sex toy, you may want to keep playtime in the shower.
Learn more about waterproof sex toys to make an ordinary shower or bath an erotic adventure.
Avoid Becoming Overheated
Understanding how our body's temperature can fluctuate during sexual arousal while being influenced by the shower's hot water is vital to consider.
When we're feeling aroused, our body's temperature can become warmer. Add a hot shower or bath into the mix, and you've got a tropical temperature happening. During sex, our body works hard (like gym-time hard) to keep our internal temp at its comfy zone. Our body's thermoregulation can get overwhelmed.
Add in the sexual arousal with increased body heat, and you can experience lightheadedness and dizziness, making you feel unstable and out of sorts physically and psychologically.
These sensations are your body's way of saying, "Hey, we're feeling off here!" But toss in that extra dose of hot water, and suddenly, you might feel like you're on a rollercoaster without a safety harness.
When we dial up that heat a notch, things get real. It can lead to losing consciousness or experiencing a panic attack, as it may activate your fight or flight responses. Thus, regulating the shower temperature by not overdoing it on heat ensures physical safety and can keep us safe while still letting us indulge in a bit of water sex therapy.
What To Do If You Start To Become Overheated
If you start feeling overheated while in the shower or bath, you may want to take the following steps to ensure your safety:
- If you're in the shower or bath, switch to cooler water or turn it off.
- Before engaging in water play, drink plenty of water to keep your body well-hydrated. This will help regulate your internal temperature.
- If you are overheated, place a cool, damp cloth or ice pack wrapped in a cloth on the back of your neck, forehead, or wrists. This can quickly help to lower your body temperature.
- If you feel dizzy or lightheaded, sit or lie in a safe area to prevent falls or injuries.
- If your bathroom is overwhelmed with steam, open the door and window or turn on the exhaust fan to allow fresh air to circulate or, even better, move into another room.
- Drinking alcohol can dehydrate you and make it harder for your body to regulate its temperature, so you may want to avoid or limit consuming it before or during your bath or shower.
- Listen to your body and pay attention to warning signs. If you feel nauseous, have a rapid heartbeat, or experience excessive sweating, you are becoming overheated, so it's time to cool down.