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Sex Tips

Dr. Lisa Lawless

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

Finger Puppets Holding Dildo, Sex TipsIdeas To Spice Things Up

Finding new ways to bring a little more sensual heat into your relationship through sexual variation and change can be a great way to establish a sense of creativity, fun, and intimacy for couples. Below are ways you can improve intimacy as well as sexual creativity.

The Most Vital Great Sex Tip

The most important thing you can do to keep things hot is to be connected emotionally. Too often, we prioritize the mundane tasks of life over taking time to nurture our relationships. We can easily lose sight of how important our partner is to us. Making small loving gestures each day is essential to establish intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. When it comes time to enjoy sex, a strong emotional connection is crucial.

Flirting throughout the day by doing simple things like taking a walk with your partner, leaving them love notes, and even holding their hand during the day can bring a sense of intimacy that will later lead to amazing lovemaking.

In addition, ensuring that both partners feel respected and appreciated is essential. If a couple has an imbalance where one partner is shouldering the majority of responsibilities and mental load of planning for life's tasks, then often there will be intimacy issues that can translate into trouble in the bedroom. See our Improving Relationships Guide for more information regarding this.

Vary Up Your Routine

Spice up your sex life by doing it in the kitchen or somewhere new. The novelty of a new location can be an intense aphrodisiac. Unusual settings with different sensations, scents, and sounds will make sex feel new and can increase excitement.

One technique that many of our customers have reported enjoying is using remote-controlled sex toys or app-controlled sex toys to stimulate their partner in creative ways in the bedroom, while in public or when away from one another. These vibrators are silent yet powerful, and no one around is wiser about what is going on. This has made many couples have excellent foreplay in public, which often leads to fantastic sex as the level of excitement is heightened.

Better Sex Positions

It is easy to get into the same old routine with sexual positions. However, creative, new positions may help couples achieve deeper penetration as well as increase arousal. Many couples avoid some positions due to discomfort and disability issues; however, sex slings, chairs, and sex pillows can eliminate fatigue and discomfort.

For those who are disabled or have a chronic illness, make sure to see our Sex Toys For Disabilities Guide.

There are a variety of creative sex positions which you can see in the following guides:

Cool Things Down & Heat Things Up

Most people know that adding either cooling or warming sensations can make things more intense when it comes to physical sensations on the skin. To cool the skin with your mouth, you can use ice or breath mints (avoid those with sugar vaginally), and you can drink hot tea or use cinnamon sugar-free mints for a warming effect.

Be cautious in using things that are not designed for using on the skin, as peppermint oil and cinnamon oil can irritate and burn the skin in high or pure doses. That is why we highly recommend sexual lubricants that are designed for sexual play, such as paraben-free flavored lubricants and stimulating lubricants to achieve this effect.

Play With Your Lovers Hair

When you want to begin a sexual experience, a great way to relax your lover is simply playing with their hair. From brushing it to braiding it, stimulating the scalp through hair play is a great way to stimulate the nerve endings and quiet the mind. It allows for a soft, sweet beginning to getting physical and allows your lover to feel pampered.

Sensory Deprivation

In addition, using a blindfold can make sexual sensations even more intense by allowing your lover to have more awareness of those extraordinary sensations. Using restraints can also change the feel of sexual play. See our BDSM Toys & Role Play Guide for more tips and ideas.

Masturbate In Front Of One Another

Watching your lover stimulate themselves in front of you can evoke a sense of desire for them as well as visually stimulate your senses. You can enjoy taking turns or masturbating simultaneously as you watch your lover sexually pleasure themselves. Some couples find that having strict rules in place, such as not allowing for touching the other person during certain times, actually increases their desire for one another. It can also be a learning experience as you watch how your lover enjoys being stimulated and even more fun and creative when you bring in sex toys to try out.

See our related guides for more creative ideas:

Share Fantasies & Dreams

Share naughty fantasies and dreams by asking your partner about what they desire. See our related guides for more information as we provide a variety of fun ways to increase intimacy and enjoy sexual exploration:

Sex Toys

Don't forget that using a sex toy while enjoying sexual activity can add even more stimulation and pleasure. Often people do not understand how to integrate sex toys into couples' sex, so we have listed popular sensual products below and how to choose and use them:


Lubricants can make a huge difference in how sex can feel, from comfort to stimulation. Explore our lubricant guide for more helpful information: The Ultimate Personal Lubricant Guide.

Massage Candles

To give a sensual massage, use soy-based massage oil candles that allow you to drip the warmed oils on your lover's skin and massage in. This eliminates that cold feeling from regular oils and offers candlelight during the massage. To learn more, see our How To Use Massage Candles Guide.

Anal Play

Exploring anal play from anal sex to analingus (anal oral sex) which can bring another dimension to sexual creativity. See our helpful guides for more information on how to integrate this into your love life:

Strip Tease

If you are looking for a new level of arousal, have fun entertaining one another by doing a striptease. Practicing also makes a fun exercise routine for yourself, your partner, or even with a friend. See our Striptease Guide for more information.

Enhance Oral Sex

Learning how to enhance oral sex can make cunnilingus or fellatio more fun for both the giver and receiver. See our guides on how to improve this aspect of your sex life:

Sexual Muscle Workout

Contractions of the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle are associated with increased sexual pleasure for both men and women. PC muscle contractions (Kegels) are easy to learn and can provide better control to extend and intensify orgasms.

In Closing

The keys to great sex are having intimacy outside of the bedroom, communicating your sexual desires, making time for one another, and being educated about sex. Whether or not you use sexual products, having good sex can be easily achieved for most people. Take time to nurture yourself and your lover sexually and enjoy this beautiful gift of being human.

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