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How To Use A Dildo
Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert
Using a dildo can be pleasurable and may even provide sexual health benefits if used properly. There are various types of dildos, and how you use one will depend on how you use it. If you first want to explore how to determine what the right dildo is for you or your partner, please see our How To Choose A Dildo Guide.
The Basics Of How To Use A Dildo
- Start with dildos that are smaller in size as you begin, and exercise patience. Use a dilator to prepare yourself for inserting a dildo if you need to overtime if you need to stretch before inserting one. If you have issues with pain during penetration see our Vaginal Painful Sex Guide.
- Thoroughly lubricate your dildo; see our lubricant guide for compatible lubricants.
- Also, apply lubricant to either the vaginal or anal opening.
- If you are using a dildo anally, you may wish to use the bathroom for defecating, using an enema, or cleaning the anal area before using a dildo. See our How To Use Anal Toys Guide for more information.
- You will want to be relaxed for insertion. Tensing will make it very difficult to insert a dildo.
- Stimulate yourself or your partner sexually before insertion by using manual stimulation of the genitals with your hands, mouth (fellatio or cunnilingus), or a sex toy.
- You may want to lay on your back with your legs toward your chest to open yourself up to more to make the insertion easier initially.
- Move the dildo back and forth against the opening to feel it pressing against you or your partner.
- Slowly press the dildo against the opening, pushing the dildo inward.
- You may wish to do this in small increments, pull out, and move back inward until you can fully penetrate.
- Sometimes using twisting motions to get the dildo in helps.
- Never put an anal toy that has been inserted anally into the vagina unless the anal toy has been wholly disinfected first. The rule of thumb is to go from vagina to anus but not vice versa unless disinfecting your anal toy in-between.
- Properly clean your dildo and store your dildo to avoid the build-up of bacteria, mold, fungi, etc.
- We do not recommend leaving an anal toy inserted for longer than two to three hours.
- When using a vibrator vaginally, it can enhance the stimulation by using a clitoral vibrator simultaneously or simply using a rabbit-style dildo.
The Importance Of Relaxing
Taking your time to insert a dildo using gentle motion is vital to ensure that you do not tear or damage delicate vaginal or rectal tissue. Both your vaginal and anal canal are controlled by your central nervous system. If you are too tense when you insert a sex toy, you can cause injury, so creating a soothing environment where you can relax and using ample lubricant is ideal.
Smooth & Straight Dildos
Smooth dildos (traditional dildos) with no flared bases should only be used vaginally. If inserted rectally, they may be difficult to impossible to remove. If they have a flared base, you can insert them rectally if they are made out of a nonporous material that can be thoroughly disinfected to remove fecal matter. These dildos are great for quick thrusting as they provide less friction than those with textured or highly curved shapes.
Curved Dildos
Curved dildos are angled to either stimulate the G-spot of the Prostate. They should only be used anally if they are nonporous and have a flared base of large enough handle that would keep them from becoming irretrievable. They can often be rocked back and forth once inserted rather than thrust in and out as the curved head does not have to travel far before it is making contact with either the G-spot of the prostate.
Strap-on Dildos
Strap-on dildos can be used by any sex to penetrate the vagina or rectum because they have a flared base and are secured by a harness so they won't become irretrievable rectally. Some have harnesses with belt straps, while others are designed more like underwear. Finding a harness that fits the wearer comfortably and snuggly will make a big difference in how they perform. If a harness is too loose, it can slide around and make penetration uncomfortable or less intense.
Make sure to measure carefully before purchasing a harness and use ample lubricant on the dildo and your partner before attempting to insert the dildo.
Handle Dildos
Handle dildos are designed with comfort in mind and are ideal for people who have mobility issues. Strapless strap-on dildos can also be used as handle dildos by simply utilizing the end bulb as the handle.
Hollow Dildos
Men often use hollow dildos with erectile dysfunction (ED) as they allow a man to insert his flaccid penis inside of it while thrusting the outer dildo inside his partner. Hollow dildos can be worn with a harness, and many come with straps included. There are pros and cons to using hollow dildos, and we go into much more detail through our Sex Toys For Erectile Dysfunction Guide.
Double Dildos
Double dildos are often used to stimulate either two partners or the same person anally and vaginally or in various combinations. They are similar to strapless strap on dildos but are typically straight or slightly curved.
Erotic Electrostimulation Vibrating Dildos
With the advancement in sex toys, there are now vibrating sex toys with electrostimulation features built into them. For more information, please see our Electrostimulation Guide.
In Closing
Using a dildo can be satisfying for individuals as well as couples in various ways. Listening to your body, using ample lubricant, and understanding how to care for your sex toys properly are all important aspects of making your sexual experiences with them wonderful. If you need any assistance in determining how to buy a sex toy that is right for you, feel free to contact us, as we are happy to help!